Mom to the Screaming Masses

Ten Things Rattling Through My Skull

Because I can't seem to shut off my brain, I present the top ten things I'm pondering:

1. Ten days until Christmas. Ten days. I'm mostly finished with purchasing - I have one big gift yet to buy and then one order from Amazon to complete. 
2. But, the wrapping. Ye Gods, the wrapping. I think I'd rather just keep everything in the mailing boxes and envelopes and give them that way. Would that be bad?
3. Trader Joe's vanilla and cream yogurt is the best stuff I've ever had.
4. Where in the blazes did Riley get pinkeye? Wanna place a bet on how difficult it will be to get these stupid eye drops into her eyes without screaming? And who will be screaming - me, or her?
5. If I think I'm going to have a productive week, will it actually come true? The power of positive thinking...I think I can, I think I can...
6. I made the Master Loaf from Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. I, uh, ate half of the loaf as soon as it came out of the over. No lie. (It was a small loaf, but still. HALF OF IT, peoples.) Google the recipe - I know, I should probably tell you to buy the book - but the Master recipe is online and it's free and it's yummy.
7. In two days I will have been married TWENTY YEARS. That's half my life. (Which might or might not explain why I ate half a loaf of bread. And also, hello, why my pants are tight.)
8. If you have a DSLR, do you have - and, more importantly, do you USE - a separate flash? Is it necessary or just extra money?
9. We did Santa breakfast this weekend, (pictures below the fold!) and I had the youngest two girls wear their new dresses - red with white fluffy collars. OF COURSE, they got syrup all over the dresses, and so I followed the washing instructions carefully and to the letter - and the collars are flat, matted and pink. I'm, um, irritable about it. Take the dresses back? Suck it up and just wear something else for Christmas?
10. Have you joined my Savvy Source group yet? It's like Facebook but for moms. You can post, ask me questions, and get instant - or close to it - feedback. Come over there and answer my burning question on books - can you ever have too many?

We Just Give Gifts Differently

My husband and I. We give gifts differently, and it is never more apparent than at this time of year. 

I think it's a man/woman thing. I'm not typical in my femaleness - I don't like flowers, or candy, candles or stuffed animals. But I like to think that I rock the world just a teeny tiny bit when it comes to gift giving. It's a vanity - I know it and I'm ok with it.

The Day Feelings Were Hurt

I was making waffles for breakfast - BELGIAN waffles, as Gabe had requested more than a week ago. I gave my younger girls their plates and they sat down. Mackenzie came downstairs, grabbed her plate and sat across from Riley. "Hi, Riley," is the first and only thing that she said.

Check It Out!

Over at Savvy Source I have been invited to start a group of my very own, linked to this one. I can not ever say no. Ever. Seriously. It's like a disease. But not one with spots or anything contagious.

Why don't you come over and join me, ask me a question, or help me answer a very important question.

There's just one small teeny tiny problem. The trouble is, I have no friends over there to chat with.

So if you feel like you can never get enough of me and my special brand of nonsense - also known as fluff and insanity - jump on over there and start chatting with me. Ask me anything. Share your favorite books, your favorite gear and activities and toys and all of those things that make you and your family special.

You won’t regret it.

________

And, um - there's only one entry at Zwaggle - and THREE prizes.

And, one other area of interest - help your child make healthy resolutions this year  - here is the list for my kids - would you add anything to yours?

The Proof is on the Fence

Artwork by Hubby, method of construction, Weed Whacker vs. Fence

25 Things You Had No Desire to Know

I'm sure that you reeeely want to know all of this, but seeing as how I'm in a post two-parties-this-weekend haze I figured I'd go ahead and post. Ahem.

Headless Mom did this and I totally stole it. Steal it from me, let me know and I'll come read.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. My cousin Tammy. Prince Charles.

2. Where was your first kiss? I have no idea. I guess that's bad.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nope. I'm a goodie-goodie in that regard

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Yes, every day in boxing class.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Hell to the No - not since I was in a show and asked the "PLEASE, for the love of God, lip synch."

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Probably eyes.

7. What really turns you off? Conceit. Guys who look at themselves in the mirror all the time, talk about how wonderful they are, and never ever have any time to listen to your stories or questions, but all the time in the world for their own.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? In December, Gingerbread load. Otherwise, oatmeal with protein ppwder or greek yogurt. I can't drink the coffee any more.

9. What is your biggest mistake? There is not enough space in the Interwebz for me to list those. I can't pick just one.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? No.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I still have perfect turn out from years of ballet.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Nope.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Nope.

14. Did you have braces? Yes. Twice. I also had TMJ surgery twice and it didn't help.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes, but I've always wanted to be taller so I could weigh more.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Last week, my husband used the weed wacker to etch "I heart Carmen" into the fence.

17. When do you know it’s love? When you can screw up royally, and there is still hugs and kisses and forgiveness. (Not my answer, but I like Headless Mom's!)

18. Do you speak any other languages?  Piglatin and Pigheaded.

19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? Yes. But not any more, thanks to Stage 2 Melanoma!

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes.

21. What’s something that really annoys you? Kids who can't be nice to each other.

22. What’s something you really like? Sleep.

23. Can you dance? YES. I LOVE to dance.

24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes. I fell out of a tree when I was a senior in high school and puked so much blood that the doctors thought I'd ruptured my spleen

25. Tag 5 people!  Everyone who wants it!

The Holiday Letter

My good friend Melodee sent me the funniest letter last year. I saved it all year long, just so that I could copy it - it was that good. And then, when I went to look for it last week, I couldn't find it. I emailed her in a panic and she was gracious enough to forward it, so I could recreate it. And here it is. I hope it's not too braggy - also, I've changed a few identifying characteristics at my hubby's request.

December 2009

Dear Family and Friends,  

This is to inform you that there will be no Christmas Letter this year. I just don’t have time since I quit working at the school in February and became a work at home writer. While my job suits me quite well—I maintain my own three blogs as well as my corporate blogging jobs for Diets In Review and Zwaggle, plus my freelance writing jobs —I would have to give up sleep or reading or training Muay Thai if I were to devote any time at all to writing a Christmas letter. My apologies, but I just can’t do it. I have no time.  None.   (Besides that, my family expects dinner every day—and clean socks!  They are so demanding!)  

What Better Way to Spend My Time?

HEY! There's a great Twitter party happening tonight, and you could win a $500 WalMart gift card. Also, check out Elff for my fantastic wonderful news - and you could win one of THREE prizes on Zwaggle - all just in time for the holidays!

I woke up this morning with, no exaggeration, about 270 things on my list "to do". So, of course, after I dropped the kids off at school, I got busy.

No, tell the truth, Carmen.

Ok, I took a nap.

And then I did something that was definitely not on that list of things "to do" - I wrote our Christmas letter.

So, I wanna know two things. No, wait, three.

Again She Posts Some Questions

Let's see... on DietsInReview, I wrote about bread baking and a new process that transformed my cooking experience. I also posted Simple Solutions to your Fitness Excuses.AND! Remember when I took part in Neils great experiment? My interviewer never contacted me, so the wonderful blogger that I interviewed agreed to interview me. Can you go give her some love? Also, I'm kind of curious if you received your Mom to Mom Newsletter, and what you thought of it. If you haven't signed up for it, I wish you would! I'm really trying to grow the numbers and I'd be MOST appreciative if you'd help me out - make me look good for my bosses, if you know what I mean.

NOW. On to a Question from a Reader. LuckyDuck asked several questions:

Since it is a big birthday, how about...

1. Things I know at 40 that I didn't know at 30,

and along the same line

2. When I'm 50, what will I say are my greatest accomplishments during the past decade

also,

3. Laws of the Masses household (think Murphy's Law)

4. What gifts would you like to give to each of your individual children (not stuff)?

Great Taste in Music but So Not Appropriate

I am a fan of music. That comes as not surprise to anyone who has been around here longer than, say, 12 seconds. I use my iPod all the time, listen to music whenever I can - and my kids are the same way. They have their radios on all the time, most of them have iPods and they sing alllllll the time. Sometimes all at once and often at too high of a volume.

And, sometimes, it's not the most appropriate song.

Case in point: Years ago, I was grocery shopping with a four year old Gabriel who started singing. I wasn't really paying much attention to the song, until I realized that the refrain went something like this: My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold, my angel is..

Yup. You guess it. He was singing Centerfold.  A song about a guy who realizes that he has a crush on a girl who is in the centerfold of a men's magazine. Maybe not QUITE the best song. The fact that it was at a louder than normal volume and people around me clearly noticed just sealed the deal.

But this week topped even this. 

I came upstairs with clean laundry to hear some music streaming from Gabe's room, and I opened to door to find him standing in the middle of the room, dancing around, holding a play sword and crooning into it. 

Forget about your boyfriend, and meet me at the hotel room

You can bring your girlfriends and meet me at the hotel room

Yes, my 10 year old son was singing Pitbull's Hotel Room Service. And the song does have a place on my iPod - what can I say, I like some seriously rotten music. BUT. IN MY OWN DEFENSE -  I don't play that kind of music around the kids, and when I questioned him, my son said that he'd heard it from my older kids, whose radio station of choice happens to be one that I think I need to discuss with them.At least that occurred in his room, unlike the moment last week when the song came on the radio at the martial arts studio and he blurted out, "Hey, that's my favorite song!"

Color me embarrassed. What can you share that will make me feel better?