Mom to the Screaming Masses

Sometimes, You've Just Gotta Eat Ice Cream

I woke yesterday morning and knew that I had a lot of stuff planned.  I knew that the house was a wreck - it always is on Mondays - we spend the weekend out doing various things and every SINGLE person in my house has a nasty, nasty habit of just dropping stuff wherever they happen to be.  As a result, the entire house looks as if it's been toppled by a tornado.  So my grand plan was to get the house straight, and I prepared the kids accordingly.  We were not going anywhere all day - just cleaning. Before we started, I went downstairs - sans glasses and coffee free - to get my coffee infusion started - and stepped smack onto a piece of glass.  I couldn't see it, but knew it was there and despite my repeated digging, I wasn't able to get it out.  Resigned to discomfort, I updated my Facebook status to reflect my cleaning efforts - that way, I knew I'd not be able to back out - and away we went.

I worked steadily for four hours.  I cleaned my closet and rearranged it so that it would flow better, and scoured my bathroom, including using using the Hints for Heloise tips on how to clean the jacuzzi jets in the tub. I've tried for two years to get that stupid tub clean - no matter what I try, the next time we try to use the tub, the jets spit out black gunk.  So we just don't use it - which is a tragedy in my house.  Maybe this time I was successful... I straightened bookshelves and put away piles of laundry.  I pulled out clothes that I won't ever wear again and packed them up for the thrift store.  In between trips downstairs, I corralled kids and sent them to their room for cleaning detail.  Lather, rinse, repeat - the kids escaped again and again.

Where did all of this stuff come from?  It seems that I just did a big cleaning endeavor, and yet, my downstairs hall is packed with stuff for the thrift store.  I cleaned until 2:30, and then transformed into Moms taxi to deliver various people various places and do the banking and various other errands.  Emma's Muay Thai class, dinner, my Capoeira class - and the day was over.  But that stupid glass was still in my foot and no matter how I tried, I wasn't able to get it out.

So I sent a kid out for a Drumstick cone.  I may have been exhausted from cleaning my house, annoyed that I can't get a stupid sliver of glass out of my foot - but those last two inches of a Drumstick cone (almost) made it all worth it.

$$$

There are lots of things that I buy.  Well, duh.  What a sentence, eh? But with the economy sinking like a body with brick lined underwear, I've had to reevaluate the purchases I make - some of the things that I buy, or have bought in the past, really aren't worth the expense.  Things that I thought I needed - lavender scented fabric softener springs to mind - I find that I don't miss at all. 

Some of those things are really worth the cash. My Swiffer wet jet, a good razor, having my hair colored by a professional, any electronic made by Sony. My iPod, my BlackBerry - both are used by me daily and while spendy, I've gotten my money worth over and over.

But, there are some things that have been just a waste of money.  The Dyson yellow vacuum, the Hoover floor mate,Starbucks coffee - three years ago I never would have said that, as I was a two-a-day drinker, but now the coffee I make is so.much.better.  I'm sure that there are other things, but I've sat here in front of the computer screen for ten minutes trying to think.

Help a girl out - what have you bought that was the biggest waste of money, and what do you currently buy that is worth just about all the money in China?

Questions I'm Pondering - Followed by a Story

First off, the HOUSEKEEPING.  Did you happen to catch the contest over on Scrutiny by The Masses?  Or the post at Diets In Review, where I dish on nutritious hot dogs, if there are such things, and Why is Fat the New Norm? And I'm reposting this tidbit:  If you haven't yet registered to trade on Zwaggle - why not?  If you use this here handy dandy link, I'm giving each of you extra points from my very own stash - that's how strongly I feel about this company. It's a win-win situation - no money changes hands, and you can get your kids some great new-to-you stuff with speed and ease. Sign up, sign up!  Plus, if you enter using this link, I'm going to give one lucky person a Starbucks gift card.  Couldn't you use a cup of coffee?  I'm here to tell you, it's a good deal. I just got Emma a brand new pair of Stride Rite sneakers for school next year.  No cost to me. Score!

And now, for the questions...

• Where is Allegra's cell phone? I am not missing it - or her ability to text at warp speed - at all. But the pathetic sobs as she searches are about to send me to the MOON.
• Will I be able to pull off this Barbie cake for Emma's birthday party tomorrow?  I've been feverishly watching youtube videos and searching online for info, but I'm kind of winging it and really, really nervous. I'm also making a lemon cake for the adults with strawberry filling...
• What made me think it was a good idea to skip dinner and eat three yeast rolls instead?
• And, ahem, about half a pan of frosting?
• I did, however, plan the birthday party VERY well. It's NOT at my house - it's a martial arts party at the gym.  Yay! I have to do NO cleaning, the kids are entertained by someone else, and can I repeat, it's not at my house!
• What do you want to bet I forget that I put the camera battery in to charge and leave it at home?
• My little girls wanted to share their favorite video with you.  If you have a little kid, check out the site Totlol.com and then look for the video titled The Duck Song. I have to tell you, we ALL walk around repeating the song over and over.

The story that follows explains where I've been for the past few days, but it's probably fairly boring.  Unless you like a tale of drama and me, once again, making a wrong choice and not listening.  And, ahem, thinking I was going to die. And migraines.  And really expensive medication....

Frustration is Merely a Word, Yes?

Today was, hands down, one of the most frustrating days of my life.  It began, far too early on too little sleep, with my husband's request, if one could call it that, for me to get up, already, and make his breakfast. So I got to get up much too early and blend his smoothie - spinach, V-8, skim milk, carrots, dry oatmeal, peanut butter, wheat germ, banana, and protein powder.  Yes, this is what he has every morning,and every morning, I want to barf. He calls it his "health shake" and claims that since breakfast is the most important meal of the day - silly me, I thought that was COCKTAILS - he wants to start the day off right.  Probably to make up for the fact that he eats like absolute crap the rest of the day.  Hot dogs, pizza, cheeseburgers, chips, ice cream. 

For Emma

On the occasion of her seventh birthday.

I'd had babies before.  Four of them, to be precise.  But I was a *bit* of a birth nazi, and I had something in each and every birth that I wasn't happy with. The first was a cavalcade of interventions and since it took place in a teaching hospital, everyone and the cleaning people all had their hands up in my business.  #2 was 47 hours long.  Let's not even go there. :) #3 had been induced early for growth issues, and #4 was induced for post dates.  While each of the last three was medication free, except for the pitocin in #3 and 4, I still craved a truly, from beginning to end, drug free natural labor and delivery, with all of the "extras" that I'd missed before. To this end, I found a SUPER CNM (Who I still see to this day for my well care) and she was absolutely instrumental in the optimal experience. I also contracted with a great friend of mine who was studying to be a doula and she agreed to come to my birth and be my support person.

Of COURSE my husband would be there, but I really desperately wanted and craved another woman to be there in support.  I count this as one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

Things I Have Done This Week That Were Good

Instead of always harping on the negative (I know, I know - I'll get back to it soon, I promise!) I thought I'd try to see how many things I did this week that were right and correct and good.  It's gonna be a short list, I promise - I can't seem to do that much good lately - but feel free to chime in with your own good deeds and let's see if we can make it past twenty between all of us, yes?

• Took my kids to the pool three times. 
• Did not scream hysterically at the third, "Watch this!  No, wait, that was a mess up - watch this instead!  No, THAT was a mess up, let me try again!" exchange. Are you as sick of that as I am?
• Ate salad three days.  Only ate brownies one day. (One entire day, but still...)
• Cleaned out a book shelf
• Made both chicken marsala and lemon chicken because my husband likes them - without being asked
• Didn't scream in the face of someone who was clearly looking for me to gossip about another person - this was HUGE for me
• Also did not kill the person who gave me unsolicited advice on how to deal with a troubling situation with a teenage child - advice from a young, unmarried, childless GUY
• Went to the grocery three times and used reusuable bags each time
• Used a grocery trip with my kids to teach my 11 year old about unit pricing and how to get the best deal, as well as how to round prices and keep track of how much you are spending - instead of just telling her to stop talking and leave me alone
• Also did not yell at all during said grocery trip with four kids - even taking them for free cookies
• Took five martial arts classes
• walked/ran twice
• did not kill my husband when I came home from two back to back martial arts classes, exhausted and smelly, to find a house full of unannounced company, when all I wanted was a shower and my bed and some food already
• completely cleaned my house - a rarity any more
• Does anyone else find that most of their meals lately involve you telling the kids, "Look in the fridge and the pantry and pick something?"  I count it as a good thing that every night, my kids have had both veggie and fruit, since carrots, apples, grapes and berries are washed and ready to go and it's much easier to hand them those with a ham sandwich than make a full meal...

What can you add to this (admittedly short) list?  What did you do this week that was good and right?  Who did you let live when it would have been so much easier to just hide the body and go for drinks?

Questions on the Housing Market

How about an update on the housing market?
We're also thinking of moving (HELP), and I wonder how you get it "realtor ready"?

The housing market is the pits. Is it any better for you? We ended up taking our house off the market - it was on for six months and we had exactly two calls.  One of which was a fake call, we later found out - a trick. So one person who wanted to come look at our house, and after seeing the listing with all the details - number of square feet, number of bedrooms, etc - pronounced it too big. Well, yeah - we know.

So the house is off the market until conditions improve - which I very sincerely hope will be soon.  I love my house, love everything about it - but I do not love the mortgage. I'd also dearly love to have a pool eventually.

As far as getting it "realtor ready"? That's very simple.  Take everything off your walls, your floor, your counters and cabinets. Get rid of about half of your furniture and take the leaf out of your table. You think I'm kidding, but that's exactly what we had to do.  You have to make your house look as if no one lives it in, so that, at any given minute, a prospective client could envision themselves moving right in.  Put away your shampoo bottles, soap on the counter, toothbrushes and hairbrushes. Take out any area rugs or pillows, and every day, open all of your blinds. Empty all your garbage cans daily and never, EVER fall behind on the laundry.

The blind thing is expecially funny to me, as I prefer to keep the blinds down and the windows closed.  My husabnd says it's like living in a cave.  We have a large window on the second story that is very difficult to open or close and our realtor suggested that we just leave the blinds open all the time instead of struggling with getting them open in time for a showing.  Well, we did so, but, invariably, one of us would forget that the blinds were open and dash out of the bedroom in the night to run downstairs for something. I'm SURE my older neighbors LOVED that.

We had success in the other two homes that we sold, with making brownies or cookies right before a showing and leaving them on the counter with a fresh pot of coffee and a "help yourself" note. It made the house smell warm and inviting. 

Other than that, I have zero advice on "how to sell a home" - do you have anything to add?

Opening Up A Can of Worms

Jennifer asks a question that I've avoided before:  I recently got into an internet blogument with a blogger who stated that sending your children to public school was akin to making them targets for Satan. I know that you are a practicing Catholic (like myself) and I know that you have sent your children to Catholic school. What are your thoughts on homeschooling, and do you think that there is this underlying pressure to amongst certain circles to homeschool your children if parochial/private school is not an option?

Oh, hai. I REALLY don't want to get into a whole public school/private school/homeschool debate. Just like my attitude on how many children one should have, I think FIRMLY that everyone should do whatever schooling option works for them.  SO, please do not take anything that I'm saying here as the gospel truth. I'm doing what works for my family. And this is a topic that has been on my mind a tremendous amount since, say, the middle of May.

What happened in the middle of May, you may well ask?

Questions about The Kids

Again with another exciting episode of Ask The Reader! 

Emily asks:  If you knew you'd never see your kids again, what advice would you give them for when they become parents?  Teach their boys to pee sitting down AND aiming down.  ;) To not sweat the small stuff - and most of it - including said peeing mystery - is indeed SMALL stuff.  To talk to their own kids, to laugh with their kids and to always, ALWAYS make time for themselves.

Jodie wants to know:  Which addition to your family was hardest to adjust to? Going from 1 to 2 kids was hard for me but not terrible. I am still trying to adjust to #3, who is 20 months. We are considering a fourth, but I don't want to lose what little mind I have left! Each one was tough in it's own way.  #2 child was allergic to milk, and I was nursing her and ingesting TONS of it, so she literally cried around the clock for six solid months. When I figured it out, she was a different kid.  When #3 was born, the pediatrician told me that my husband and I were moving from man to man defense to zone defense.  That was pretty true.  #4 blended in beautifully, but I wonder if that had more to do with is personality.  He was a very happy, sunny baby who rarely cried and was content for hours on end. #5 and #6 just joined the crowd. SO, overall, to sum up - ha!  I get long winded, don't I? - I'm gonna say either 2 or 3. It's a toss up. :)

What about all of you guys?

The Economy and The Price of Foods

Sylvia wanted to know:  I was wondering if you had changed your grocery shopping habits in light of the...ummm...economy. (If you can even call it that anymore.) I'm pretty sure it's not my imagination and that the price of food has gone through the roof. My husband has been umemployed for a month now and I'm finding it impossible to properly feed my boys. Do you have any special meals that you make that cost almost nothing? I say almost because I have 6 dollars.

Oh, Sylvia, ouch.  I do know of what you mean.  Economy = suck and no money. If you ask my hubby, I'm none so good at the saving money in the grocery store.  I do know that there are many, many people who save a ton of money with coupons, and by playing The Grocery Game, they are able to combine sales and coupons to get many things for free. I'm no that diligent or creative, and see also: am easily bored. I do find that grocery costs have gone through the roof on many things, but, interestingly enough, one of the most expensive stores in our area sells milk for only $2.80 a gallon. 

One thing that I know works is to only buy the things at one store that are the cheapest - if it's milk and bread and sliced turkey, buy only those things and go to another store that sells creamer and toilet paper for less.  I don't do this.  i barely have time to keep us in the necessities. I KNOW I could do better.  I know it. 

If we are tight on money, we eat some of the following:

• pancakes
• cereal - although a few of my kids can eat an entire box in one sitting, so that's not so cost efficient
• bean and cheese tortillas
• spaghetti
• homemade pizza

Can you chip in some advice and meal choices to help Sylvia?