Although, I really DID love that song, and sing it alllll the time, in a voice that was much, much too high for my vocal range. :)
What I have been thinking about recently are the memories each of us keeps from our childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. It seems like we really only remember the highlight reel, the lowest of the lows, and not much else in between.
I remember one winter evening, I asked my dad when I got into the van why I never remembered how cold winter was. He said that out minds conveniently block out things that aren't fun to remember. I remember random things like that - watching my sister stand on the soccer field when our parents were away, the time my dad and my sisters made fun of an Advent blessing and my mom was furious, the night my mom made shrimp and steak and the comment my dad made. I remember my mom painting my bedroom lavender when I turned 13, and I remember the year I got a boom box for Christmas. I remember roller skating around the block carrying my copy of The Life Cycle Library - and thinking I was really tough shit for having an actual BOOK that talked about the facts of life.
By the way, the third book in the series was the best. It talked about dating and marriage and I thought it was just - amazing.
What I don't remember would be a single Thanksgiving. I remember one Easter, and the dress my mom made me for it - but I don't remember how old I was, although I think I was in elementary school. It was pink and had no belt and I wore my dance elastic over it. I remember that we hid a plastic Easter egg in my uncle's motorcycle tailpipe and no one found it and it melted as he was driving home and we got into so much trouble for it. Once, my sister tipped over dad's motorcycle, and my dad and his friends rebuilt the engine in my mom's van when it hit 100K miles.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Because I wonder what, if anything, of all the years I've tried so hard to make memorable and special will my kids even remember.
Will they remember that I made snowflake cookies, decorated in royal icing, with each classmates name on them, for Carol night? Will they remember how hard I worked to make sure there were always safe foods in the house, that no one ever felt left out because of food allergies? Will they remember how I folded basket after basket of wash while they ate breakfast, so everyone had clean towels and wash? Will they remember the millions - yes, millions - of lessons I will have sat through by the end of this, so people could develop their talents? Will they remember the Christmas my husband and I bought no gifts for each other, so the kids could have gifts on what was undoubtedly the leanest year we ever had as a family of 8?
What about the first time we flew together and security was called, or the time my daughter ran ahead of us and got onto an elevator and pushed all of the buttons (including the door close button AND the emergency button) and I shoved my arm in the door and it closed on me and I pulled it open with my other hand and my husband caught up to us and we got the doors apart? Or going to the beach a million times, or the park, or bike rides or cookie baking or the time I tried to teach people to make cookies and no one listened?
What, if anything, will they remember? As hard as I work to make everything special, memorable, and something to treasure -
is it all in vain?
This is currently what's on my mind.