So, one of my

So, one of my daughters is 9, going on 19. She thinks she knows it all, and the rest of the family isn't worth her time or effort. She yells at everyone, is snarky and rude, and exhausting. She wears me out, just in the hour it takes from her rising to her departure for school. I can't wait for her to leave sometimes. And yet, when she wants to (or wants something!) she can be as pleasant and peaceful a child that has ever existed. If I was to cook every meal according to her, buy only the things that she wants, let her have an unlimited amount of tv time, she'd still find something to fuss about.

It's hard for me to be the adult with her. I want so badly to scream, and yell, and kick and slap, just as she does. What kind of a lesson is that, though, especially to the other kids? (a damned good one, sometimes!)The times that I lose it are the times she gets more and more out of control, and the other kids follow along. The entire family spirals down, and I am the only one to bring it back up. When hubby is home, it's different. It's not just me, and I can leave the situation if it bothers me too badly. I don't have that luxury 95% of the time.

I know there is a lesson here - I just can't wrap my brain around it.

Being a grown up is definitely not all I thought it was when I was younger. I thought that adults knew it all, did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. I couldn't wait to be "free" from the "oppression" of childhood. Able to get in a car and go wherever, eat what I wanted, and have no one to answer to. Boy, was I delusional. There is less free time and more structure, more to do, now than ever before. Most days it is fun and enjoyable. And some days it isn't. The days that aren't that great, thankfully, are few and far between lately.

My snarky daughter brought this to light when she was home sick from school recently. When we drove to get the others, at dismissal time, she said "Is this all you do all day long? I thought you had fun, and did cool stuff. Today was just boring." And this had been a good day for me!