Mom to the Screaming Masses

Home Depot Having spent almost

Home Depot

Having spent almost $2000 this week on four separate trips to Home Depot this week, I've had lots of time to people watch. Home Depot is very hope - inspiring. You go in, maybe just for lightbulbs, and before you know it, you are laying a new floor. You can practically see the hope on the faces of those in line. "Maybe this paint will do it - my house will be gorgeous then." "This new faucet - it will spruce up the bathroom like nothing else." I'm just as bad as everyone else, though - I spent over $100 on flower bulbs. In my defense, the pictures, they were so pretty! And, we did just win yard of the month, after all. Can't let our yard look ugly now!

I wonder, if I could stand over the city and observe, exactly how many of those hopeful people spent the better part of the afternoon cursing and grumbling, when their projects didn't go quite as anticipated?

We've got two rooms painted, with, oh, four more to go eventually. We are still speaking to each other, so I guess it went well!

The weekend from hell

The weekend from hell

I love the Hubster, I swear I do. And you all love your significant others too, I know you do. Hey, you in the back, quit rolling your eyes! After this weekend, though, I'm not feeling the love quite so well.......

It all started with Friday. As most weekends do, natch. For whatever reason, the kids had a half day, so they got off from school at 12, and Gabe got out at 12:30. AND, the Hubster had the weekend off - three full days of another adult here. I was so happy! Friday morning, we made our plans. I really wanted to get some painting done, and the Hubster wanted to build a brick patio outside for his new, Jenn-Air, stainless steel grill. If a man could orgasm for a grill, this would be the one. But, I'm off on a tangent again. I took the kids to school, and came back. The doorbell rang, and it was the builder that I had forgotten we had an appointment with. We are really interested in having another room built on, so we could have a playroom for the kids, and possibly making the addition two stories, in order to have another bedroom. It was a very enjoyable time, fantasizing about how great our addition could look. Whoops! It was time to get back to earth, and go get the kids.

One other thing that we have in the market for is a Rainbow Play system - one of those huge wooden things. Before we commited to a purchase, the Hubster had a the great idea that we should check the Trading Post - a local item for sale paper. We live about 3/4 of a mile from a 7-11, so after lunch, I told the Hubster, "Instead of driving, I'll just walk up there. I could use the exercise, and the peace." Emma started to fuss, so I agreed that I'd take her - after all, one kid, in the stroller, that wouldn't be too bad. Somehow, it ended up that we'd all go - all 6 kids and the Hubster. He offered to carry the baby on his back, as well as push the stroller for Emma, so that was ok. The kids were thrilled - slurpees! Second Whoops! of the day - the girl who cuts his hair was on her way over - so he couldn't go. Somehow, I think that this was planned. I grumbled a bit, but decided to be mature (ooh, I hate that word) and get over it. So, the kids all got on their bikes, Emma jumped into the stroller, and I dumped the baby into the backpack. She's got the worst habit ever - she puts her feet on the cross bar, and jumps up and down, and tries to flip out. I discovered that I could pull her feet under my armpits and hold them, and then she couldn't move. Sounds uncomfortable, and it is for me, but at least she's not killing me.

So, here's how the walk went:
-Pull R's feet under my arms
-Convince G that it's ok to ride the bike across the street
-Yell for M to wait up!
-Send N back home to get on his bike, as opposed to the small bike that was his younger sister's
-Pull R's feet again
-Look for G, and find him crouched on the ground, with his ears covered. (The Navy was doing an air show, and the planes were really loud. Explain to him that the noise was planes, not thunder. Help him back on his bike.)
- Yell for M to wait up!
-Try to get E to stop screaming, because she saw a cat
- Listen to N talk about some difficulty he's having, while trying to remember how my parents handled this type of thing, and decide if I'm going to respond similarly
-Tell G again, it's only planes
-Yell for M to wait!
-Cross the street, walking G's bike when he abandoned it in his rush to cross before the car that was 300 yards away
-Pull R's feet again
-Listen to her cough, and realize that she's pulled her hat off and it was still tied around her neck
-Explain to E that the dog going beserk was behind a fence, and wouldn't get to her
-Pull the overgrown bushes off the kids, and remind them to watch out for the dog poop
-Arrive at the store, to find that some idiot driving a moving truck had blocked the sidewalk, and push the stroller uphill, in the thick grass, rather than on a nice level sidewalk.
Finally, we arrived at 7-11. We perused the candy aisle, to find safe candy for G. We got slurpees, water, and yoo-hoo. We left, and I did an immediate u turn. I had forgotten the stupid trading post!

We repeated the above scenario, in reverse, on the way home. Except for every cross street - G decided he should walk across each one, so we had to stop and wait for him. The really memorable part was when M fell off her bike, and she was crying a river. From behind, G said to her "You're not gonna die, so get on the bike already!"

And the Hubster couldn't figure out why I was so fried when we got home. Hot, sweaty, hoarse from yelling, and completely irritable.

And there were no play gyms in the dumb Trading Post. Then the Hubster told me he was not off on Sunday after all, and we spent all.day.Saturday. building the brick patio, and didn't get the painting done. I am really glad that it'll be Monday in 2 hours!

I know the answer! Heh.

I know the answer!

Heh. I was sweating there for a while - I had no questions! Either I have no readers lately, or I'm so boring that no one wants to know anything about me. I'd rather not know the answer!

Stephanie asked about my bedtime: Gooooood question. Bed goes something like this. G and M in bed at 7, A in bed at 8, N in bed at 8:30, or 9 if he has extra homework or is watching Star-gate. If E hasn't taken a nap, she goes to bed at 6:30 or 7. Then it's just me and the baby. Often I'll sit in the recliner to nurse her and fall asleep reading blogs. Then I move her up to the crib, and get ready myself. I shoot for 10 - sometimes the Hubster comes home right about then, and I feel like I should spend time with him, and I stay up. Next thing I know, it's 12:30 and I'm exhausted. 5:45 comes awfully early.

Mary, shame on you. Skittles and Oreos? That's a good breakfast? I had really yummy chocolate cake and a white chocolate mocha! I think as long as it involves chocolate it can be classifed as a good breakfast. Healthy, now, that's a different question........

Jenny, you already know my greatest addiction. It's my computer! As for cartoon characters, well, I'd really like to be shaped like Olive Oyl. I don't wtch cartoons, so I don't really know what I'd pick. I'd like to be in Lazytown, just to watch Sportacus jump around.

And, the white chocolate mocha (triple shot if it's a rough morning!) is one of my biggest addictions. I get one every day. I'm pretty predictable that way.

Questions, questions, who's got the

Questions, questions, who's got the questions?

I'm so tired. I am really exhausted. I'm going to try to go to bed early tonight, and hope that I sleep well. If you have a question for me, feel free to ask. Something you've always wanted to know - maybe you asked me a question and I didn't answer. If it's not X rated, I'll try my best to answer it.

And now, off to slumber. Zzzzzzzzz.....

Gymnastics My son Gabriel has

Gymnastics

My son Gabriel has really gotten into Lazytown. Thanks sooo much, Jenny. Whenever he watches it, he mimics his hero, Sportacus. He tumbles, he runs, stands on his head on the sofa or recliner. Every day, it's the same thing. "Mom, am I just like Sportacus??" Oh yes. Exactly like him.

The Hubster and I decided that some gymnastics classes might do the boy some good. Give him somewhere to burn off the energy, and teach him different skills. When we told Gabe, though, he had a really strong response. "NOOOOO! I'm not going! I don't want to go to gymnastics!!" Too bad, so sad. Remember this for your stint on Maury Povich, when you talk about how I ruined your life. I went on Saturday to get some information, and the child was true to form. He cried the whole time we were there, and had no interest in looking around the gym at all.

Yesterday was the first class. It was at 1, right after his preschool got out. We went to the gym, and he went into the class. I was able to sit in the waiting area and watch through the glass door. There was only one other kid in his class. First was stretching, all well and good. Then they went to trampoline - FUN, FUN, FUN!!

At the end of the hour, he came running out to me. "How was it? Did you like that class? Do you want to come again?" He said, "I didn't like that class." "No?" "No, I LOVED IT!"

Success! Now he wants to go every day. I think I may have created a monster.

Things I'll do for $20

Things I'll do for $20

There are lots of things that I won't do - drink pee, eat bugs, clean the bathroom, participate in anything involving my naked body and the public eye. But, I received an offer from the chi-chi grocery in this area, offering me a $20 gift card if I transferred a prescription. Since we pretty much single-family-dedly (get it? singlehandedly? I suck when I make up my own words, I know) support the pharmaceutical world, I was certain that I could take advantage of this offer. I don't shop in this store too often, maybe once every few months, although I really like it. They have a ton of foods that I really like, and an extensive selection of organics/health food stuff.

I needed to get a few things that I wasn't able to get on my Wal-Mart trip, one of them being a jar of sundried tomatoes and another,a jar of artichokes. When I went to WM, I noticed that the section of tomaotes and mushrooms had been rearranged again. I couldn't find the sundried tomatoes, so I asked the incredibly unhelpful clerk restocking the shelves, at 10 on a Wednesday morning. That's just when I would recommned stocking the shelves, that's for sure. She had no idea what I was talking about, but if I could tell her the bar code, she'd be glad to look it up for me. Sorry to say, but my brain was simply unable to pull that certain set of numbers out of the recesses of my brain. I asked up at the customer non-service area, and they informed me that sundried tomaotes were now considered a seasonal item, and would no longer be carried in the store. And neither would artichokes. Or frozen squash - two other items that I couldn't find and requested.

So, at the chi-chi store, I dropped off my prescription, and was told to be back in 20 minutes. I roamed the store, picking up the tomatoes, artichokes, lightbulbs, and a magazine. After 30 minutes, I returned to the pharmacy, to find that my medication hadn't even been started. Apparently, the man who dropped off a prescription before me, had no medical coverage, which was news to him. He argued, quite loudly, with the pharmacist for quite a while, forcing the clerk to ask me to please give him a few more minutes to finish with him and fill my prescription.

I realized that I probably could use some shampoo, and some conditioner. I ended up with "Sexed up" shampoo, "Curly sexy hair" conditioner, and another bottle of shampoo, this one entitled "Big sexy hair". Well, at least my hair will have fun. They were the same brands that I usually buy at the salon, but, hey, I'm saving $20, so it's all good. What else did I need, while I'm busy saving money? Olay regenerist cream, guaranteed to make my skin look younger. Hmm, sounds good to me - better add the eye cream, the one that will lighten the dark circles.

My little foray to the store, to save $20, ended up costing me $80. It could have cost $100, though, so I guess it's not all bad........

A trip to the

A trip to the mall

So, I went to the mall today. I think it would have been far more pleasurable to, say, open my head with a dull manual can opener and extract my brain with a grapefuit spoon, but maybe I'm just making the trip out to be worse than it actually was. You tell me.

To begin our trip, it was pouring rain, thanks to the remnants of Hurricane Ivan. I found a parking spot, only about 1/2 mile from the entrance, got out of the car with 5 of the kids, a double stroller and umbrellas, and away we went. Nikolas wasn't with us, he went to a friend's house. We ran all the way up to the door, and ducked in, just in the nick of time, when the heavens opened. First stop, Lane Bryant for me. See, last night I attempted to go out and get a new outfit for myself. The Hubster and I are going to a company function outside tomorrow night, and I wanted something new to wear. It took me two hours to become so depressed that an entire bottle of Zoloft wouldn't have been enough. WHAT is it with clothing manufacturers? Why is every striped shirt made with horizontal stripes? And made from Lycra, thereby stretching said stripes in a weird pattern, if you are larger than a B cup? I looked all over last night, and finally gave up. I went to Lane Bryant today, figuring that they would be able to cover me. And cover me they did - I spent a ton of money. I had promised the kids that we could get some things for them - after all, these poor kids have no clothes to wear, and nothing to play with - I have no idea how they can tolerate living here in the squalor. So we went over to Limited Too, and just as quickly walked back out. I have no desire to dress my seven and nine year old girls like street walkers. We walked the mall, looking for Vans sneakers - what Allegra wanted to spend her money on. We dropped money in Children's Place and the Disney Store. Mackenzie was so thrilled to be at the mall that she ran all over, forcing other shoppers to dodge her, and causing me to plow the stroller into her several times. We never found the sneakers, and decided that Old Navy would have to be skipped, a fact which led to much pouting in the group.

We finally decided that we had enough, and made our way to the exit. There were four sets of double doors, and we happened to go out the middle one. I had the baby in the sling, I was pushing the double stroller, Gabe was trying to figure out how to work his little umbrella, I was trying to get the big umbrella open, and the girls were arguing over who would hold the door for me. There were three young Navy guys leaving the mall right behind me, exiting the same door, despite the fact that the other three sets of doors were not in use. One said, "God, look, here we are in the middle of the three ring circus!" I turned around, looked at them, and said "I'm trying my best!" "Yeah, right. It's still a three ring circus lady." I was this close to punching the guy right in the eyeball, but said "There are other doors you can use." "I'm glad I'm not you!", he said, and walked off, laughing to his friends. You and me both, buddy.

I was so steamed by this. My girls HELD the doors for this creep, who made fun of their mother and their family, and never thanked them. Some people are jerks.

It's the bulk foods run!!!!

It's the bulk foods run!!!!

This week, it was time for the dreaded BJ's run. We have a Costco here, anc a Sam's Club, but for whatever reason, we joined BJ's. Since Genuine did it on his blog, and it got lots of people talking about how much they spend, I thought I'd post my bulk foods shopping receipt. So here's what I bought, in no particular order:

2 10 pound bags frozen chicken breasts - the staple of our diet - $21.49 each
2 pkgs boys undershirts, size 16 - $5.99 each
Osh kosh fleece pj pants - size 5 - $7.99
Dove ice cream bars - chocolate with dark chocolate dip - a treat for the Hubster - $8.99
32 ounces heavy cream - $3.59
shredded cheddar cheese- $5.49
shredded mozzarella cheese - $5.99
2 rib eyes - just for the parents, we love us some steak here - $11.81
2 pkgs, 4 pounds each, butter - we use a ton of this stuff - $7.83
chocolate coconut macaroons - NOT for Gabe, but the other kids - $4.99
2 1/2 dozen eggs - last us about 2 weeks - $1.65
5 pounds ground beef - $12.23
french bread, 2 loaves -$ 3.99
decaf ice teabags - why I even bother with decaf ice tea when I drink so much other caffeinated stuff is beyond me - $6.39
48 Nutrigrain bars - $9.49
67 ounces Nesquik powder - little kids live for chocolate milk here - $5.99
2 gallons milk - the best price I've seen in a long time - $2.28 each - the usual price is closer to $4
5 pound peanut butter - $5.59
108 slices american cheese - $6.99
Mini ravioli - the default dinner here - $4.99
OJ - 2 pack- $4.99
new book for Nikolas - $12.99 (If I have the extra dough, I try to get a new book for each of the kids, or a movie)
new book for Allegra - $7.99
5 pounds apples - $6.99
40 rolls breath mints - we have stinky breath around here - $8.69
20 mini croissants- $4.29
super jumbo pack of goldfish - $6.29
gallon apple cider - $2.99
jumbo box graham crackers - for snacks and smores - $5.39
4 qts breyer's vanilla ice cream - $5.79
5 2 pks Welch's grape juice - the ONLY drink that the Hubster enjoys - $4.89 each
4 pack brownie mix - gotta have some chocolate - $3.99, with a $1 coupon on the box, WOO-HOO!
2 pounds pecans - for the brownies, and for the Hubster, not for Gabe at all - $8.79
4 pounds brown sugar - $2.09
10 pounds white sugar - we eat too many sweets - $3.99
16 bars of soap - we use three different types of soap here, and I rotate which one I buy - this time it was Lever - $6.99
pinenuts, for Minime's yummy yummy pasta dish for my own lunches - $7.79
4 things I have no idea what they are - $15.99, $6.79, $13.49 and $14.49 each
10 pounds flour - $3.69
12 pack C batteries - for the radio in the shower - $9.89
24 pk AAA batteries - for the remotes and such - $9.99
28 pack AA batteries - for the leappads, the remotes, and the gameboy - $10.39
a 32 ounce drink for me, since I was beyond thirsty at this point - $. 74
elmo dvd - for Emma, who loves Elmo and despises Mr. Noodle - $11.99
2 pack Acne wash - for the oldest two who are starting to get acne (gasp!!) - $9.39
3 pack tylenol chewables - store brand - $4.99
3 pack infant tylenol - store brand - $6.49
6 pounds spaghetti - about 2 weeks worth - told you we eat a lot of pasta here - $5.99
16 ounces Neutrogena sesame body oil - for sensuous skin - very important when you have 6 kids - $8.59
1 poiund parmesean cheese - $4.49
2 pack Scope - $8.99
jumob pack Easy Mac - my kids eat a ton of this stuff - $5.89
diced fruit bowls, for lunches - $5.99
case of green beans - $5.49
case of sweet peas - $3.99
24 pack charmin - yeah, we use a lot of this too - $11.99
capri suns - $6.29
applesauce cups - $6.69
jumbo pack goodnites, for the one kid who still wets the bed - $19.89

So, that's how I spent $539.21 in one evening. I'd be interested in seeing what all you guys buy, when you go bulk shopping.

The one, lonely box in

The one, lonely box in the back of the pantry

Yesterday, being the 13th of the month, it was time to clean out the pantry. (whew. I mis-typed panty, and couldn't imagine doing a monthly cleanout of the panty!) I do a monthly clean out, right before payday, so I have room to put the new goods. I pulled out the half empty boxes of ice cream cones, the boxes of crackers that held only a few stale crumbs, the cereal that no one ate, the two, no three, no FIVE boxes of shake and bake. I put everything on the counter, so I could see what I had, to make dinner for the night. Whatever I created could have any of the following:

sundried tomatoes in oil
1 packet of buzz lightyear fruit snacks
garbanzo beans
creamed corn
a 5 lb. can of beef stew - given to us by my father in law for our end times pantry
beer bread mix
lemonade mix
artichokes
2 juice boxes with no straws
boiled canned onions - when and why did I buy those?

No pasta to be found. Otherwise, I'd make sundried tomatoes and artichoke pasta. We could have pancakes - nope, no butter and no syrup. Cereal? None left. Scrambled eggs? None of those left either. I began to feel like the worst housekeeper and mother ever. Who runs out of pasta, or eggs, or butter? Only the very bad kind of mommy, for certain.

Then, deep in the back, hiding behind the three pounds of powdered sugar, I spied it. The light brown box. It was roasted garlic couscous. Success! With this, I could make sundried tomato and artichoke couscous, and serve it with toast points and baby carrots and cucumbers.

The poor, lonely box of couscous had sat on the shelf patiently, watching the more exciting boxes and cans fly out of the pantry. The cookies, gone. The pasta - among the first deserters. We can put away some pasta here. The canned vegetables had even been escorted out. But now, it was time for the couscous to save the day!

It was good, too. Yippee for payday, though, since I can only work under such pressure once in a great while!

Multiple food allergies and

Multiple food allergies and asthma

"Doctor? Hi, it's Carmen again. Listen, he's still not breathing well, and his lips are turning blue. I don't feel good about this."
"Meet me in the ER, as soon as you can get there."

Again. The same scenario was playing out, for the fifth or sixth or ninth time. A few days before, Gabriel had started with a cough, and it quickly progressed to a more frequent cough. He stopped playing, and napped more frequently. He was only 18 months, what could be wrong with him?

We met the doctor in the Emergency Room, and an examination ended with the diagnosis I had anticipated and feared - asthma. We were trying to avoid the official diagnosis, for insurance reasons, but it couldn't be avoided any longer. We were sent home with a prescription for steroids, and a referral for Home Health to visit and bring us a nebulizer. I quickly became familiar with the in's and out's of the machine. Gabe was on inhaled steroids twice a day, and for a while, life was almost the same. He learned to put on his own mask, and he quickly adapted to sitting still and breathing the medicine, often falling asleep to the sound. There were some small flares, but we could easily handle those. There were some late nights, giving breathing treatments every four hours. I set my alarm, in order to keep his breathing as easy as possible. The machine was often next to the computer, and I used the time to surf the Internet. I read all that I could about asthma - from easy, friendly conversation, to medical journals. What I couldn't understand, I was determined to learn. I discovered that many asthmatics had food allergies that exascerbated the breathing difficulties. But, certainly, this wasn't our life. Gabriel ate everything, and after all, we had no food allergies in our families. Surely, this wasn't relevant to us.

And then, it happened again. I found my son, sitting on his bed one day. He was over two at this point, close to three. "Mommy, my tummy hurts." He pointed to his chest, and even without the stethoscope I could hear his wheezing. Lifting his shirt, I saw his ribs retracting - the skin sinking in between them. He was struggling for breath, his nostrils were flaring. All classic signs of a serious asthma attack. My heart sank. Why? What was wrong?

Another late night visit to the Emergency room. This time, it took more medication than ever before, and I could see that the doctor was puzzled. I broached the subject of allergy testing. At first, my pediatrician was reluctant, but I pressed. Three months later, we had our answers.

After an extensive interview, the allergist began the skin test. She assured me that the scratch testing, so called because the test involves tiny scratches on the back, where small amounts of the allergen are introduced, was not painful. Unless there was a reaction. Within a minute of the application, Gabriel began to scream. And scream. I glanced at his back, and froze. The area was a mass of huge, fist-sized welts, running into each other. There were five on one side of his back, and there was no separation. I called for the nurse, trying not to let the panic reach my son's ears. She sauntered in, asking, "What's the big deal? Is he reacti - Oh MY GOD! Look at his back!" She grabbed him, adminstered some benadryl, and began to wash his back. She rubbed cream on it, and said "We'll know in two minutes if we need to inject him." INJECT HIM?? It was the longest two minutes of my life.

He had reacted badly to walnuts, cashews, pecans, coconut, and moderately to peanut. In the environmental category, he was off the chart for cat dander, and a low reading for dog. I was floored. How could he be allergic to all of this? The allergist explained that since I was allergic to a few medications, that made it more likely for my children to be allergic to either foods or medications. She counseled me to scrupously avoid all of the allergens, and I told her, "Well, we just won't eat any nuts. No big deal." Not quite so easy. He was so sensitive that he had to avoid trace proteins, and those are everywhere. He was classified as a severe asthmatic, with life threatening class 5 food allergies. She sent me home with an armload of paperwork, the website for the Food Allergy Initiative, and injectable epinephrine. I was petrified. No peanut butter, (with five kids at the time, this was a staple), no baked goods at all unless I prepared them, no candies. No M&M's, no food that could have any trace of contamination.

I spent hours and hours on the Internet. Thank God for the Internet. With it, I joined mailing lists and discussion groups of other parents of food allergic children. The amount of information was astounding. I learned that Hershey is the only company to have a dedicated line, just for the processing of the milk chocolate bars, with no chance of nut contamination. I learned that some Slurpees contain coconut oil. I learned that the toothpaste I was using to brush my son's teeth had coconut, as did his shampoo and soap. I learned that there are very few companies that care about food allergies. Many companies use the same lines to create nut candies or cookies, don't wash the equipment, and then make nut free goods. Even candies and cookies without nuts in them were off limits. My son was sensitive enough to nut proteins that a cookie, baked on a sheet that had held pecan cookies before, caused him to swell up and need emergency medication. I learned that the vast majority of states do not allow paramedics to adminster life saving epi pens to an individual in distress. I learned exactly how to inject my son with the epinephrine. I practiced on his cute, dimpled thigh with the trainer, hoping and praying to never have to actually use the needle on him. I packed an emergency bag, with benadryl and two epi pens in it, and took it with me any time I left the house. We bought him a medic alert bracelet, and put cards with his medical information in the car and house. Since the asthma and food allergies go hand in hand, I bought the HEPA filters for the house, and the HEPA vacuum, and put myself on a daily dusting schedule.

The first months I lived in fear, dreading every bite that he took. Would it be contaminated? Would he react? Slowly, I grew accustomed to reading labels and policing every bite that he ate. We found substitutes for his favorite - soy butter for peanut butter, Shredded Oat cereal for Frosted Mini Wheats, Colgate toothpaste for Tom's of Maine. It's been an adjustment, one that has been hard on all of us, especially Gabriel. But it's been worth it - his asthma is under control. If it will save his life, I'm willing to read labels and ask questions until I'm satisfied.