If only you were a

If only you were a better mother.....

There is a discussion board that I frequent, one I've been a member of for quite a while now, since right after G was born. In fact, I'm coming up on my five year anniversary there. I love it. I love the topics of conversation, and I've made some of my best friends ever there. Once a year, I try to make a trip to get together with some of the other women. We always have a great time - it's like a sorority reunion. There was an instance once, with a woman who came on, and stirred up a bunch of trouble. Many feelings were hurt, and a few people left the boards. I left for a while, but missed my friends too much and came back. These women have been there for me during pregnancies, births, stressful situations with my children, arguments with my husband, and the general minutiae of life.

Lately, we've been discussing what would make you a better mother. Most of it lighthearted - in fact, it's become a running joke - "Well, that wouldn't happen if you were a better mother." So, here is what would or wouldn't happen in my life, if only I was a better mother.......

- Emma wouldn't go outside and take off all her clothes every time I let her out to swing and slide.
- Gabriel wouldn't bite his siter.
- Allegra wouldn't try to hang out with the "popular" crowd, but instead would love to be with true friends.
- Nikolas would never have trouble with bullies.
- My children would only want to watch educational programs. In another language.
- There would be no need to do laundry daily, since they would never spill on their clothes, sweat, or get dirty.
- I would never realize that a child's feet had grown by seeing the imprints of the shoes on their feet.
- Gabe wouldn't go to school without his shoes.
- My children would *hate* to eat fast food.
- Their dressers would be tidy and all the clothes would be neatly folded inside.
- No one would have kudos bars in their lunch, or be signed up for hot dog lunch today at school.
- Emma wouldn't be an addict to her "bubbie".(pacifier, for the uninitiated)
- No one would wake before 6:00 on school days, 8:00 on the weekend, and all would take two hours naps. And go to bed at 7 cheerfully. And sleep all night, with no bad dreams/need for water/cold/hot/want to see another person.
- I wouldn't forget to send a snack to school with Allegra on soccer days - when she has a two hour practice immediately after school.
- I'd never have to make a run to school for left behind lunches/instruments/permission slips/PE clothes.
- There wouldn't be days when I went to a drive thru, just to get french fries, so that Riley would just.stop .crying for one minute.
- I wouldn't worry if I'm yelling so loudly that I should close the windows for fear of the neighbors calling child protective.
- I would never find Riley crawling around with bits of tissue in her mouth. Used ones, sometimes.
- My kids would all wear only hand made clothing and sleep under handmade blankets.

In short, if I was a better mother, it'd be boring.