Mom to the Screaming Masses: Adventures in painting

One of the things that we had on our list of "Things to do while The Hubster is on vacation" was to paint our front room. The color is listed as Stone Crab, which is the stupidest name that I've ever seen. It was a muted gray green, a color seen in Pottery Barn. I am alllll about Pottery Barn - especially since my house is decorated in Early Childhood. I can dream about Pottery Barn, though, and at least if I have the wall color, I can pretend that the rest will follow.

My, can I go on a tangent, or what?

The Hubster vowed that the room would be painted before he returned to work on Friday. Monday was *the* day. I woke early, and went downstairs to remove the pictures from the walls, push the sofas into the center, and generally prep the room. I am not allowed to paint, because I am ~~sloppy in a rush not as good~~ not as detail oriented as he is. He hates it when I paint - it gives him angina or something. Whatever. I paint well, but not as good as he does. I went out for the day with the babies - that was our agreement. I'd leave him to paint in peace.

There is a piano in that room. It probably weighs close to 800 pounds. It took four moving men to move it the last time, so I had my doubts as to how he was going to paint. I just left him to his devices, however, and went out. The babies and I had a great time - we went to Target, we went to the grocery. We went to the doctors for asthma, the pharmacy for medication, etc. etc. We were busy busy. (HA! I just typed busty by mistake!!! Freud, much?)

I came back, and the room was almost all the way trimmed out. A quick detour to the hardware store for new rollers, and the painting of the room commenced. The piano had, by some super human strength, been pushed to the center of the room. The hubster bragged that it was his amazing muscle power. We both laughed, and agreed that the movers had not been paid nearly enough to move it.

The painting was finished, and we went to bed. When I got up the next morning, the furniture had been put back where it belonged - even the piano. A quick check verified that the Hubster, indeed, still had his nuts - I was a bit worried by all the piano moving, but the boys were still in town.

Later that day, he hung the pictures. The piano had been moved to another wall, so he decided that he wanted to put different pictures up above it as well. Ok, fine. Your perogative. Except that, after hanging the pictures, he wasn't certain that they were centered above the piano. So, he moved the piano. Instead of the pictures. Not once, but twice. Then, he discovered that he had moved the piano too far, and had to move it back. He moved it so far, he pinned himself between the piano and the bookshelf. I was of no help, as I was on the floor, laughing my ass off and wetting my pants. I told him I'd just leave him there, and a few days of no food, he'd be able to slip right out. He was not amused. He slid out, and stepped back to check the alignment of the ~~planets~~ pictures.

And then, he had to move it AGAIN, as the picture was now too far too the right. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The baby learned many new curse words yesterday. Well, not that many - she probably heard them already. Not from me, of course - she must have learned them from, um, the grocery store cleark. Yeah, that's it.

Next time, I bet he'll move the freakin' pictures, instead of the piano!