Family = fun or dysfunctional?

So, here's my latest thought.  There is no such thing as a Norman Rockwell family.  I know, that's a lightbulb moment. 

When I was preparing the meal for Turkey day, The Hubster had charge of the kids.  Nikolas was being a teenager, and The Hubster was being a parent.  The two didn't mix well, and there was much arguing and yelling.  I tried, for a little while, to be the peacemaker, the sail that would set the ship free, so to speak.  I grew weary of that, though, and tossed on my headphones and IPod.  It was comforting to me not to listen to the same arguments and problems.  I had already had my share of arguments with The Hubster that morning, and lost my enthusiasm for happy, hunky dory family time.  I was pretty hard on myself - after all, it was the holiday - family time personified.  The day that was supposed to represent the love that families feel as they glance at each other, veins pounding with love.  Instead, here I was, dancing around the kitchen, with a multitude of different songs pounding my brain.

I took a break from cooking and ran to Starbucks for an upside down caramel macchiato.  While there, I vented to my friends who work there.  Before I knew it, there was quite a crowd, all eagerly trying to top my story of husbandly irritation with their own.  Tales of drunks, fights, mothers in law, burned turkeys, young love, gossip - you name it, we dished it.   Everyone had a story, everyone had a problem.

And then it hit me.  Family can, in no way, be perfect.  It's a conglomeration of people. People are, by their very nature, messy and confusing.  No person can be pigeonholed into a neat, square package.  So, one person has strong thoughts that life should go one way.  One person has equally strong thoughts that it should go another direction.  When those differing points of view collide, there are bound to be sparks.  And that's ok.  That's what make family, family. 

Family's not fun, sometimes.  It's messy, loud, obnoxious and annoying.  That's family.  Like it or not, I have a big one, and it's going to be more loud and obnoxious than others. 

Good thing I've got my Ipod.

Comments

[dena]

Starbucks was open on T'giving day!?! I had no idea. At 6:30 a.m. I stopped at the 7-11 on the way to my mother's. I left the rest of the household asleep, and drove to my Mom's to peel potatoes, baste a turkey, prepare a few sides and make a Greek Salad. Actually, hanging out with my Mom was quite nice, compared to the chaos of showers, picking out clothes and making breakfast for all of them.

[Barbara]

I am here from Michele's. :)

You hit the nail on the head with this post. It is actually really sad that people think the Norman Rockwell family even exists. I think that image has caused a lot of homes to be even more dysfunctional that neccesary.
I come from a really great family. We are and have always been close knit. Behind all that is many years of arguing and not getting along. It takes a lot of work on the part of each family member to look past the differences and quirks.

[Kismet]

That is what I LOVE about family....the fact that we are all different and express our views and still love each other at the end of the day!!

~K!

[Dollymama]

So....if I get an IPod, will it help lessen my troubles?

I guess I better tell Santa about this.

[Xenia Kathryn]

What's an upside down caramel macchiato (I know what a "CM" is, as I had one last night, the upside down part just confused me-- I thought I was thoroughly coffee-shop savvy! :D).

Great post!

[Shelly]

I need an ipod!

You have totally hit the mark! This is what makes families so interesting and different from others.

[Cori]

Hi, I'm visiting via Mommybloggers. Your comment about autism treatment being free caught my eye. ASD mommy here, too.

I was so embarrassed to have friends invited to family events because my family was so "weird". Now I realize that EVERY family is so weird and we just don't realize it growing up.