Because I am nothing if not smooth

Yesterday, our yard man was scheduled to come.

Before you get all up in my face and stop wanting to be my friend, since I have a yard man and all, let me just tell you - we have to have a yard man.  With The Hubster working 759 hours in one week, and the six kids at home, and the oldest son who could mow the lawn, but not up to The Hubster's insane perfectionist characteristics - we decided, for the health of our family, to have a yard man.  You see, the times that we have tried to have The Hubster mow - well, it took about 13 hours.  I'm not kidding.  It looks amazing when he's done, but I lose most of my mind on those days.

So, we have a yard man.  A very nice, 60 something black man, who keeps trying to get us to sell Noni juice.  Despite that, I like the man.  I feel a touch Southern Plantation Owner, having a black yard man, but I'll get past it, I'm certain.  I haven't, in the five years we've known him, but I keep hoping.

Yesterday, I was on the treadmill - 13 days, without a pass - and I heard him arrive and power up the mower.  I had forgotten to put out his check, and so I thought I'd just tape it to the door discreetly, being that I was dressed in a huge workout bra that could have easily been a sail, and white spandex shorts.  No need to scare the poor man, and, besides, if I saw him, he might want to chat about Noni juice, being that I was working out and all.  So I carefully slid open the door, snaked my arm around and taped the check to the glass of the storm door, and quietly closed it up.  I congratulated myself all the way upstairs, where I took a quick shower and prepared myself for the trip to get the kids from school.  They had a half day, so I had to hurry and get to school.

I walked outside, and came face to face with the yard man, who greeted me and asked if I had any power tools.  "Um, sure, why?"  Well, it seems that he would need them to take the glass storm door OFF THE HINGES - so that he could get his check.  Yup, I had oh so discreetly placed the check behind the locked door.  Where he could look at his hard earned $30, and not actually RECEIVE IT.

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Last night, I was folding laundry.  I know, hard to believe that I have to do that.  I realized that I couldn't hear Emma and Riley, and went looking.  They were standing behind the shower curtain in the tub, rubbing handfuls of shampoo into their dry hair. 

(The day before, they used up an entire bottle of Burt's Bees baby lotion, trying to lotion themselves while I was - wait for it - doing laundry.  Maybe I should stop doing laundry?)

I kill myself with my humor sometimes.

Comments

[jennifer]

here from michele's! :)

too cool!! & i thought i was crazy with 5 kids!! LOL!! thanks for the laugh....you'll be on my regular visits! :)

[Sarcasmom]

We have a yard service because it is either spend the little free we have on a weekend mowing, or actually enjoy the yard. Luckily I mail thhem the check.

[Sarcasmom]

Forgot to say, Michele sent me today.

[Jamie]

Laundry is the root of all evil. Stop at once.

And, um, let us know how that works out in a family of eight.

[Elaine]

Hey, I have someone clean the house and I only have two kids, so you're in the clear with me.

And this post made me LOL. Loving that you made the poor man view his money like a rare breed in the zoo.

[Kismet]

hahaha, you are so funny.
I leave my housekeeper a check on the corner of the diningroom table and then hide out upstairs. If I forget she'll yell up, "Ok, I'm done. See you next week" and then I'm all 'Duhr'

~K!

[lucy]

:snort: You know how much I hate laundry...

Fun times with Emma and Riley. Was there any shampoo left?

[chris]

No more laundry, clearly that is the solution.

[chris]

Can you send me an email? I don't have your email address.

Thanks!

[action free game online shooting]

I just don't have much to say recently. Maybe tomorrow. Pfft. Whatever. Today was a loss.