I want to be as smart as my 14 year old son. Seriously, you guys.
It's a goal that's going to be hard to attain.
For example, I'm trying to figure out business cards for BlogHer. Actual conversation:
Mom: "Hmm, I wonder how I can get this done."
Son: "Duh, Mom. Everyone knows how to get business cards done. It's the easiest thing in the world."
Mom: "Ok, well, I'm not certain if the formatting is correct here."
Son: BIG sigh. "Mom, come on. Surely you know AT LEAST this."
Another example: We are driving home from the allergist, and jamaican music is playing on the radio. I bop around a bit, and playfully poke him in the side. He looks over at me and rolls his eyes.
Son: "Geez, Mom. Grow up already."
Mom: "Well, at least you don't have Mrs. X (an ex neighbor known for being overly strict and no fun with her kids) as your mom. Just think; your name would then be Nikolas blank blank."
Son: "God, Mom! I can't believe that you'd make fun of someone like that! You are always getting on my case about being polite. What a rotten person you are, poking fun at a person like that!"
Mom: "Wh-wh-what?"
As well as:
"What made you put those colors together for tie dye? Maybe you should look at a color wheel."
And the always popular, "Geez Mom, I KNOW that. Doesn't everyone?" "Let me set up the iPod/dvd/cable/computer for you. You don't know how to do that." "Don't tell me how to take notes on my mandatory, tested on the first day of school, summer reading. You don't know how to take notes." "Do you think you could cook a meal tonight, instead of sandwiches and fruit and carrots?" This last in spite of the fact that it is eleventy bajillion degrees here, and he is always welcome to cook for himself.
He's developed a habit of looking OVER the top of his glasses at me with raised eyebrows, which drives me batty. It makes me feel condescended to, looked down upon, and as if I don't pass muster. No matter how many times I remind him to look through the glasses, he still goes over them.
Somewhere, I know that anyone who has grown up children is laughing at me, as well as anyone who knew me as a child. It doesn't make me feel better, although I know that misery loves company.
Give me a biting, tantruming toddler any day of the week. This shit is HARD.
Well, there you are, at 14, talking to your grown up self, just like your mother wished! Makes it all look a little scary huh! I want to know why I got a kid who is just like my SISTER though? The one that drove me bonkers as a kid. I do have one like me. Celeste is almost as perfect as I was!
Buy him some contacts so he can't look over his glasses at you!
Posted by: Hayes | July 17, 2006 at 05:36 PM
Are you in my head? "lol"
The other day my 10 yo (haven't even gotten to the terrible teens yet) drew a picture of a character - with a conversation bubble that said: "I have learned to see Jesus in everyone but you, Mom." Gulp - and OMG, THAT really hurt. He said it was JUST a cartoon, but he has been dismissive lately... :-(
I would much rather have a passel of 2yos than one ten year old ::eye roll::
Hang in there!
Hugs!
Posted by: Biz | July 17, 2006 at 05:40 PM
Tell me about it. My 14-year-old step daughter must know him! It's like a total attitude shift! Yes, it makes me appreciate my loving little toddler son who loves to give mommy hugs!
Posted by: Shelly | July 17, 2006 at 06:08 PM
Whoooo-ya! I remember those days! I could have tied my daughter up and hung her up to dry more times that I could count.
One thing I did not tolerate was the sassy-mouth, dismissive thingy. We had a serious sit down to discuss the issue of "I'm you're Mother. You give me respect. Period. End of discussion." If I saw an eye-roll or any of that kind of stuff, we had a serious time out. Caused a good bit of arguing, but it eventually worked.
Posted by: Philippa Alan | July 17, 2006 at 06:14 PM
Oh, the memories of my own mother saying, "I hope you have at least three just like you!" just came flooding back as I was reading that! Lo and behold, my three year old says to me today in response to my asking if she wants ice in her water...."Whatever." WHAT? WHATEVER? Oh joy of joys, I can't wait til we hit the teenage years!
Posted by: Heather | July 17, 2006 at 07:07 PM
My son is now 12, and starting to do that same thing. Must they grow into these...."teenagers"? Where is the sweet child I so lovingly raised? And are the other ones all going to turn on me, too?
Posted by: Jess | July 17, 2006 at 09:05 PM
re: the sandwiches for dinner. I'm with you on this one; we're at 105 today and the past few days. It's too hot to eat, anyway; who gets hungry?
Posted by: Stephanie C. | July 17, 2006 at 09:30 PM
I think my 11 yr old is living in your house!
So funny how smart they think they are.
Posted by: chris | July 17, 2006 at 11:14 PM
When I get the eye-rolling, holier-than-thou attitude from my 14 year old step daughter, I close my eyes and picture her as the sweet four year old she was when I met her. It calms me down a bit. It also tunes out the whiney yapping that seems to come out of her mouth constently.
I thought it was supposed to get easier as they get older?
Posted by: Chris | July 18, 2006 at 12:33 AM
Sounds like a character!
Posted by: michelle | July 18, 2006 at 08:41 AM
You want a screaming toddler? Where do you live? I'll send mine right over...
Posted by: Antique Mommy | July 18, 2006 at 08:58 AM
Hearing things like this makes me feel so guilty for the way I behaved as a teenager. I hope some day my mother will forgive me for being a whiny, condescending asshole.
And, some day, your son will be saying the same thing about you (or better yet, TO you... I haven't worked up that courage yet). But I'm 25 and I'm just realizing these things now, so it might be a while!
Posted by: Jennifer | July 18, 2006 at 09:07 AM
Sigh. My three boys still think I am the Beautiful Queen of Everything...but I know these days are just a few short years down the pike. Chin up...only another 10 or so years before he thinks you're a goddess again.
Posted by: Angela | July 18, 2006 at 09:24 AM
We're about to adopt. I have told my husband that our child will learn how to do The Eyeroll all on his or her own, and I'd prefer the child not learn it earlier from my husband. What did he do? Roll his eyes at me. So, I got out the hotglue gun. You know what? No more eyerolling! Ha ha!
Posted by: Carolie | July 18, 2006 at 10:36 AM
Nice. Little asshat.
But it's this little asshat and my own little asshat (female, fifteen, forever eyerolling)that keeps our household tech savvy.
How is that they eyeroll and snark almost simultaneously? Do they put out an alert on MySpace, or something?
Posted by: GraceD | July 18, 2006 at 12:20 PM
I don't get it ... I have the daughter that knows EVERYTHING and is ALWAYS right ... how can anyone else claim that ;) She can roll her eyes with the best of them ... I've wanted to poke those beautiful blue's many times.
I was told that the alien that possessed her and gave her the high and mighty attitude will depart from her body by the time she is 25 ... only 7yrs and 1 month to go!!! I think I'll send my son away to military camp when he becomes possessed .. know any good ones that won't send them back until they are "cured"?
Posted by: Beth | July 18, 2006 at 02:03 PM
I'm with Philippa. We had a few serious 'this one's non-negotiable' conversations about expressing disagreement respectfully. The eye-rolling thing? Sneering tone of voice? Sarcasm? No one uses that in our house - not even teens. (Of which, in our blended Afamily, there are currently SIX, plus one 20 and one 11 year old.)
Now my teens tell tales on their friends. "You wouldn't BELIEVE how she treats her mother!"
Makes me smile.
Posted by: Mary P | July 18, 2006 at 02:45 PM
In nineteen years of being a mom, I've lost track of how many times I've called my mom to apologize to her... after my kids did something that ticked me off royally... reminding me of when I did the same thing to my mother....
Posted by: debby | July 18, 2006 at 03:08 PM
I just wish I could get a picture of my 15yo doing her eye rolling. She actually rolls her eyes right back so all you can see is white. A very attractive look. I want some evidence.
Posted by: moe | July 18, 2006 at 03:31 PM
Me to my almost 14 yr. old daughter because I can hear the music she's listening to on her MP3 player: Don't you think that's a little loud?
Her: It's not very loud, mom.
Me: It's too loud.
Her (here's the part that gets me): Whatever, mom.
You know the "Whatever" I'm talking about.
I hate that - "whatever"
Posted by: PastorMac's Ann | July 19, 2006 at 02:28 AM
Ya, I know the feeling at times. Most times I try to only listen to what I need to listen to when I am being told the way it is, was, or should be. Or, I just laugh to myself and think "Humm, my grandkids are very intelligent little creatures now and tell mommy and daddy the way things are, were, and will be! Wait till they are teenagers!! Ha Ha! I am sure I will be way to old by then to even have a half of a brain let alone know the right answer or way of things! I can just sit back and giggle even more while they think they have to admit me to the special care unit of the nearest nursing home! lol
Posted by: CheerfulSandy52 | July 19, 2006 at 01:24 PM
Heh. Just wait until he's 16. With a learner's permit.
Posted by: Grouchy Old Yorkie Lady | July 19, 2006 at 02:47 PM
You scare me! I am Mum to three between eight and three ....and they can already do too many things better than I can. It'll be downhill all the way from here, I can see.
Posted by: Kit | July 19, 2006 at 04:16 PM
Aren't teens fun........NOT.
I have a delightful 13yr old daughter who seems to think she is 20 (at least).
I would gladly have 10 toddlers than one teen!
Someone commented the other day that they couldn't wait until their children were teens - I think the look I gave her said it all.
Renae
Posted by: Renae | July 20, 2006 at 01:26 AM
I was wondering where my 14 year old son got off to this week...
Can't say I missed him. Not one bit.
::eyerolls::
Posted by: kelly | July 20, 2006 at 08:37 PM