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Mary Poppins (NOT)

***LOUD WHISTLING*** *****Frantic Clapping**** Here here!!!! Encore, encore!!!! That is the most true thing I have ever read, I do believe. I have seven children, and my life vacilates from "I think you must be a saint" to "wow, you total slacker loser". Maybe, perhaps, somewhere in the middle is the reality, and I AM OKAY WITH THAT. I think.

owlhaven

Awesome post, Carmen. How very true.

Mary, also mom to many

Patricia

True THAT. Wow, I don't think you could have said it better than that. I find I repeat my mother all the time saying "motherhood isn't for wimps" and it so true. And while, I'm a mom to one (and unless I trade in my husband -- not going to happen -- I'm done); I know how hard you work to make it LOOK easy. I don't think one is easy -- but I also know that 6+ isn't impossible either.
If you are mom, who is at all vested in her family, then you deserve the gold star -- the same gold star goes to the mommy who stays home with 6 kids and the one who works all day and comes home to cook, clean, do all the other things for the 1 to 2 kids. It is the SAME gold star. You don't get bonus points or deductions as long as you raise decent kids to adulthood who become productive parts of society. (Even if they fight a little and embarass the heck out of you along the way).

Shannon @ Rocks in my Dryer

Excellent, excellent post!

owlhaven

Carmen, I posted something on this issue too and directed people your way. Really an excellent post.

Mary

bella

Here, here!

Bella, proud mom of 7 (occasionally on the hunt for gypsies to sell them to, more often so pleased with where they are in spite of my mothering!)

Jen

Amen to that sister! We don't know what various hells other moms are living, we only know our own and can't see theirs. But we all have our own personal hells. Thanks for a great post.

Heth

Awesome post Carmen.

Diane J.

Here by way of Mary at Owlhaven...

Right on, sister!! You go, girl!!

Excellent post, and I agree 100%.

Maureen

What an awesome post. Sometimes it frustrates me how we as women who so need each others' support spend so much time comparing and criticizing each other. We never really no what goes on behing closed doors - I wish we weren't all so quick to judge each other.

Thanks for a gtrat post...after a really hard week! Maureen

Chaotic Mom

I haven't read the post in question. Was the poster maybe commenting that she feels bad that she can't keep it together while others maybe can? Not dissing you, but dissing herself, not knowing your true reality?

I love your post. It made me feel better about me and my three boys. I've always said I'd consider more children, but just don't know if I could handle more disabilities, too. All kids have "issues", I think I've reached my limit of what I can handle.

But I know with God's grace and only HIS strength could I do more, if He so chose for me to do so. I've been trying to keep that in mind lately.

But I'm still going a bit bonkers. Each and every day... ;)

Jill

I only have two, and I frequently threaten to sell them on eBay. My firstborn thought eBay was another word for timeout when he was little.

Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom

I totally agree with you! I am considered the "together" mom amongst my friends. I always tell them I am not nearly as together as they think I am. I too yell, forget and feel generally overwhelmed (just posted about that today as a matter of fact).

Don't fret about the "bluebird" comment. Sounds like someone is trying to build themself up by putting someone else down. I really don't respect people who do that. Hang in there mama!

rachel

Wonderful post. Thank you for admitting you don't have it all together. You're right - I could write an entire post that said "ditto what Carmen said" over and over and over.

Except that I have been late to soccer. I'm blaming the fibro, but honestly, I was worn out and overwhelmed at times before that. And I always call kids by the wrong names. Kharmic payback for teasing my Nana when she did it!

FishyGirl

Amen, Carmen! With the fourth on its way, I get the "Better you than me" "You have it so together" such things all the time, and it drives me crazy, because really, I am one really tiny hairline fracture away from total implosion and collapse. And my house is a disaster and it drives DH crazy. I wish we would just remember when we look at someone else that no matter what they are doing, we don't know the whole story, and we all do things well and not so well, and that's okay, cuz we're just doing the best we can.

ann marie

wow was that an honest chat about raising kids. you do what you think is the best for your kids,and let me tell you when they become adults, and you see your parenting skills worked because they have good values,that's your greatest reward in life. it's a lifetime commitment having children,but one most of us never regret.My daughter Jennifer is teaching fourth grade,so she's getting to see how nine and ten yr.olds react to different situiations,and often talk about their family life. it comes down to one thing no one's life is picture perfect,and like you said if they say all is well all the time one word LLLLLLLLLLIAR!

Paige

Don't we all feel that way? And when we compare ourselves to others, we usually look at their best points and compare them to our worst points.

But really, a Mom's job is to do the best she can with what she has (be that two kids or a dozen) and try to instil love in the family.

Heather

Isnt it amazing how blogs can turn into such a popularity contest? All the huffing and puffing that can take place is just, well funny really.

Reading your blog is like a breath of "real" air. I think you blog about the real day to day stuff that takes place in your life. I have never ever thought you had blue birds on your shoulders.

Why is it that we as women are so critical of one another? Especially as mothers. Thats just bad.

Sorry you got so upset that it brought you to tears. I could see feeling that way. Just keep doing what you do, your awesome! :)

Lela

Hey Carmen, I came to your blog today specifically to get a little inspiration.You're organized and I was feeling a little tired and overwhelmed, and I thought, I know where I can go. You tell us your successes and your not so successes, and it makes me feel.... all right. Thanks for being real.

the womom

I really liked this, carmen. It's important to keep things real.

the womom

and you know what?
You do have bluebirds on your shoulder. We *all* do from time to time. Some people's bluebirds chirp louder than others--and some people are thankful for the bluebirds, look forward to them, and sing right along---loud and joyful. And that's okay. That's beautiful, actually.
I have learned an enormous deal from you over the years. Bluebirds are okay. Scarecrows have no brains.

earthgirl

My niece, mother of 4, called me last Sunday to see if she could come over to talk. I met her at the car, because I knew she really needed a hug. "How did you know that's what I needed, Auntie?" Because I'm a mother of teenagers also. She was caring for her 16 yo who lost a classmate to suicide and missed taking her 14 yo to a travel baseball team tryout. She sobbed, "I just need someone to tell me I'm a good mother." Don't we all? My prayer is that you have someone to give you a hug, love and encouragement when you need it.

txmommy

AMEN!

judy

Well said, Carmen.

Even though I'm old (48) and done with so many of the things you write about, what keeps me coming back is your HONESTY.

I've hung on to a particular issue of a homeschooling magazine for YEARS simply because of the cover. A large family - all wearing WHITE. I was SO impressed. I could never get my family out the door in solid black without globs of something or other stuck all over them.

It's hard for all of us. I can't say that it really gets easier either. Just - different. Yes. That's it. It gets different.

Homeschool Mama

I was just going to write about my feelings lately, when I ran across Mary's post and the yours. I hope you don't mind that I put a link in my blog entry to your entry.
Thank you for reminding us we are all doing the best we can.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.