Mom to the Screaming Masses

I want to stick my head in the oven

My afternoon went something like this:

Gabe asked for a bowl of oatmeal for a snack, oatmeal with butter, cream and brown sugar.  He ate one bite and then a second.  With the third bite, he tapped the spoon on the side of the bowl to get the drips off.  When he did that, he flipped the bowl through the air and we had a slimy lake of oatmeal all over the floor. 

While I was cleaning it up, one of the little girls ran through it and slid across the floor, banging into the leg of the table.

I listened to complaint after complaint from the big kids.  This one cried, that one fussed, another one taunted, one teased, yet another cried, the tv was turned on and off and on.  My insurance company returned my phone call with the news that my daughter's new nebulizer - previously covered at 100% - was now my responsibility. The Hubster called to ask me if I wanted to sell Mary Kay.  I was given papers to sign, STAT. Some of the grades weren't so good, but I was assured that it wasn't the student's fault - it was because the teacher hated this student. Riley cried and Emma bugged her, and both were sent to sit on chairs in opposite rooms.  One of them colored on the wall and one screamed at her not to do it.  The Hubster called and asked me if I knew we were invited to a party on Saturday - a pool party.  An indoor pool party, and I'm not going to be able to go.  My swimsuit no longer fits.  When I attempted to explain that a suit doesn't fit when the wearer is almost 50 pounds smaller, he didn't get it. 

I yelled at my kids, and was reprimanded by a kid who is old enough to know better.  My girlfriend cancelled our dinner out tomorrow night.  I realized that I've not sent out memos to the class, in order to plan the Christmas party. 

In short, it was a sucky afternoon.  One of those things, though, crystalized something for me.

As seen on TV

Note:  I really wanted to participate in Love, Thursday.  But I've already posted a few cute pics of my kids, one of The Hubster, and now all of my kids - well, the big ones anyway - are fighting each other as if they are North and South Vietnam.  There is precious little love going on right now.  Sigh.  Maybe next week we can get back on the Love train....

There are some really great infommercials on late at night.  Some of them seem like they'd be pretty good - the Time Life music sets, especially the decade specific ones - the magic bullet, the Juicer by Jack Lalane.

The Hubster is a sucker for a good sales pitch, even though he sells for a living.  He can watch a commercial and wants to buy the stuff right away.

Light 'n' fluffy

I took TEN trips to school today.  My butt is going to be shaped just like the car's seat.  I'm too tired to explain it all, but maybe tomorrow. But I've got a question for you.

What flavors are strongly "Holiday" for you?  Eggnog?  Gingerbread?  Praline?  Minty chocolate?  Pumpkin?

Do you like them? 

I HATE eggnog with a passion that will never ever die.  Love minty chocolate, pumpkin and gingerbread.  OH!  and buttery sugar cookies with sprinkles. 

Lay it on me. 

Topic Tuesday: Allergies

Allergies are a funny thing.  I don't mean the "hahaha" type of funny, but the "whoa, this is weird and odd" kind of funny. 

My son Gabriel has severe, life threatening allergies.  He is anaphylactic to all tree nuts - pecans, macadamias, cashews, etc. - almonds (which are not technically a tree nut, but belong to the same family as the peach, botanically speaking), and coconut.  He is mildly allergic to peanuts. We avoid all of those things for him.

I'm writing about this since one of my readers asked me, a while ago, to write about the difficulty of dealing with allergies, food and otherwise.  I picked today because I have a huge headache, and for the longest time I couldn't figure out why.  I ate healthily, drank plenty of liquid, did my exercise. And then Riley brought me a candle to smell, one that we unpacked yesterday, a Christmas candle that has been sitting out all day.  One whiff made me realize why my head hurts.

It's a cinnamon candle.  And I'm allergic to cinnamon.  Not injesting it - I can eat cinnamon toast, cook with cinnamon, no problem.  I can smell the spice cinnamon without incident.  I can't be around anything that is cinnamon scented - the oil kills me every time.  Walking into a craft store any time in the fall or winter is torture for me.  Why do people think that it's not truly the Christmas season unless it smells like cinnamon?  It's bizarre, and people don't believe me, until they go into a store with me.  Within minutes, my eyes are swollen, my nose is running, and I'm smack in the middle of an asthma attack. It is not a pretty picture. 

Mission Monday: let's get ready to rumble!

Today is the 27th of November.  It's a fact that I'll probably have to look up three or more times today; whenever I write a check, a note to school, or pay a bill.  I'll look up the date, write it, and then promptly forget it.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  I'm so forgetful sometimes it makes my eyes weep.

But one thing that I won't forget today is that the holidays are just around the corner.  Literally less than a month away. Hanukkah begins the 16th, so that is just about 3 weeks away.  And thus starts this month of "Mission Monday"s.

Cue the music - duh, duh, duh duh duh......

Tales from a Saturday

Today was a good day.  A productive day. A "get it all done" kind of day.

But definitely not a quiet one.

First stop on the agenda was the "talk radio" dentist.  All of the children, excepting Riley, had cleanings scheduled.  I was also on the list.  It went well - there was no fussing, no carrying on, everyone got their new toothbrushes and stickers.  There were also no cavities, making it our sixth visit in a row with no cavities.  In fact, the last cavity in the house was mine, but it cropped up between visits.  The funny thing was the talk show that was on.

What?  Don't you remember what happened the last time I went to the dentist? Well, this time, he was very careful to put on a non offensive show.  He picked "Click and Clack", the two guys who discuss cars.  Innocuous, right?

Until a father called in, asking for a van recommendation for his family of 10, soon to be 11.  And they ROASTED him, and he pretty happily joined in. I just laughed and went along - after all, it wasn't related to me, and it WAS pretty funny.  Every time I get in the dental chair, talk radio talks trash about big families.  I had no idea I wielded so much power!

We put the "fun" in holiday

Oh, have I got a Thanksgiving story for you. We really know how to rock it 'round these parts. 

It began when the turkey appeared, made by someone else.  It was not fully cooked, so we carved off the breast meat - which was cooked - and the rest of the turkey went back into the oven.  For two hours. 

While I was busy cooking the sides - pumpkin muffins (made with whole wheat, applesauce and 1/2 of the sugar, very healthy and delish!) corn pudding, roasted sweet potatoes, carrot souffle (again with half the sugar and no appreciable difference in taste - what a lesson to me), rolls, green beans, and low fat pumpkin pudding - my smoke alarm went off. Twice.  The first time I merely waved a napkin in front of it and the shrieking ceased.  The second time I climbed up the chair and yanked it out of the wall.  I was NOT going to have a third episode.

As I climbed down from the chair, from outside, Emma began to scream.  I didn't think too much about it, until it lasted, oh, about 2 minutes.  And when Gabe came in to tell me that it was JUST an accident, then I realized something was up.

Untitled due to lack of brain

Mel had a FANTASTIC post this week. Really, really a great read.  Go on over there and read it.

The analogy that she used of a luggage carousel was superb.  But it's not completely applicable to my own life.

I have often thought my life would be different.

Do you know a funny?

It's been a rough day or two over here at the Masses household.  I've got lots on my mind and no one to share it with.  I'm worried about some things going on with a couple of my kids.  I've got people coming over for turkey day.  My house is a wreck.  I have to do laundry.  I have a pile of paperwork to go through.  I'm a lazy slacker with visible roots.  I'm dying over here for something sweet. I get my stitches out tomorrow and STILL can't run, for a week after, and I'm really feeling the need to get out there and get some exercise.  I'm seriously regretting volunteering to be a room mother at school. It's pouring rain here and the wind is blowing so hard that the house is creaking. My feet are cold, since I've decided to keep our heat lower.  That's what a $350 power bill will do for you.

But, a rerun of Bridget Jones' Diary, while not Pride and Prejudice, does afford me the opportunity to glance at Colin Firth again and again.  Eye candy is, after all, eye candy.  And I have the first dish made for the Thanksgiving feast.  Granted, it's a cranberry orange relish, but, hey, I've got to start somewhere.

Topic Tuesday: what to wear

I was stumped as to what to write for this week's topic.  Seriously stumped.  And then I got an email from my good friend Hayes, who has just given birth to her fifth baby, who should be patented as the cutest baby (of the month).  She asked the following:

Hey, I have questions to ask for topic tuesday.

First of all, I got an ipod. What do you listen to when you walk? It has been so long since I listened to real music. I just bought Poisons greatest hits album and am about to add Bon Jovi.

Also, what do you wear when you work out? When my sister was here, I got rid of TONS of clothes. I wanted to make myself look nice so I tossed most of my frumpy clothes. Now, I need clothes to walk in!  The last time I actively pursued exercise, I wore black leggings and a big t-shirt. What should I wear now?

Now, what makes you think I could answer these questions?