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sarah

Well - I've only been a parent less than 5 years so I haven't racked up a fine total....yet. The biggest one I had was when I was at the park and I was watching some older Indigenous Australian kids (teens) playing on the equipment at a park meant for 5yrs and under. I let my stereotypes and prejudices get the better of me and got distracted trying to keep my 18month old son away from them, I let go of the pram that was holding my weeks-old daughter to pick him up. The pram was on a hill, I hadn't put the brakes on, the pram rolled down the incline, jumped and flipped when it hit a limestone flowerbed and landed on it's head. With her still strapped inside. Thank God I'd actually strapped her in. She was fine - I almost died on the spot and the teens I was so worried about stopped and helped me right the pram and see if I was ok or needed to call a doctor or something. BIG lessons learned that day. I've done the doorframe head-smashing thing too, and fed my child boiling hot mashed potato after leaving it in the microwave too long and not testing it. Oh..and the off milk thing as well..I did wonder why it took him so long to drink it! That's all I can think of at the moment...I'm sure there are more....:)

julie-mom to five picky eaters

Ok, I am almost embarassed to post this but once you get over how disgusting it is, hopefully you will laugh.

When my oldest was about 7 we had spent the day at the local aquarium with his three other siblings. On the drive home we got stuck in a very large traffic jam and were not moving. He kept telling me he had to go to the bathroom every five minutes for atleast 30 minutes. Finally, I told him to take his souvenire cup (you know the kind you get everywhere with the lid and the cool straw) take the lid off and pee into the cup. He was cool with that, did his business, and then put the lid back on and placed it into the cup holder. Do you see where I am going with this? Not long after his one year old brother woke up in his car seat, took the drink out of the cup holder and proceeded to have a taste. I almost got into an accident when I discovered what was going on, of course none of the other children noticed their one year old brother drinking his older brothers pee. We now laugh about this but at the time I was nauseas for a week.

Linds

Happy birthday!
Too many disasters to list....... I slammed my son's fingers in the front door. That needed paramedics and A and E. Same son was found assisting the dog to finish his dog food. The vet who I called said he may have excess energy, when he stopped laughing enough to answer my questions. He also had an incident with a gemstone polishing kit that meant more A and E. My daughter nearly drowned when she took off her waterwings and leapt into the deep end of the pool. Her 5 year old brother got to her first and pulled her out. We have all had bad Mummy moments.

jo-less

My mother told me of the time she double-dosed me with cough medicine by mistake and I went all drowsy. She paniced about it until our lovely old-fashioned GP said 'oh don't worry, we've ALL done that!'.

Leslee

There was the time I turned to lock the front door and the wind blew my son, in his buggy, down 12 concrete steps, he landed face down in a rose bush. I shook for hours, he just had a thorn stuck in his nose and smiled and said "again Mum".

Or my daughter fell asleep in the car (before we had car seats), I opened the car door and she fell out, smashing her face on the pavement

or the time my two sons were playing bouncing on my bed, there was an horrendous scream and the younger was doubled up in pain, clutching his knee, I took one look at his very misshapen knee and rushed him to A&E. After hours of waiting, I was told "he just has funny shaped knees"

Tammy

Happy Birthday to us, Carmen!!! I had a disturbing thought yesterday...I'm 36 today and my mom was a grandma at age 38. Yikes!

There was a very short period of time when I worked 7 days a week and my husband was Mr. Mom and our daughter was 2. One morning I went to work and shortly after I left our daughter decided she wanted to go outside to play with the dog. My husband was still sleeping and when he awoke he realized she wasn't in the house. He has no idea how long she'd been out and it took him a while of searching the house to find her trapped between the door and the storm door and the door had locked after she went out. It was mid-winter in Wyoming and was freezing outside. He brought her in and just held her for the longest time and to this day still gets teary eyed about it (13 years later). So, any "stupid Mommy tricks" I've made don't usually result in any negative comments from him.

rachel

Happy Birthday, Carmen!

My big one was ignoring when my oldest said her tooth hurt - she complained about it intermittently for days, and since she's, um, a bit of a complainer, I didn't pay attention.

Then I finally checked her mouth - a grand canyon of a cavity, completely visable. She ended up needing a silver cap. Yes, the guilt I felt whenever I saw the cap. :( The tooth fairy was extra generous for that tooth!

My kids have been unsupervised long enough to write on the ceiling, sled down stairs on a pizza peel, paint their feet and make footprints on the hardwood, color themselves, cut hair, and with my mom: jackson pollack her living room.

I'm sure I will have more as they get older.

Karen Rani

Oh Carmen, those stories are hysterically funny! We've ALL done stuff like that. I once tripped over Dylan (he was lying on the floor) and kicked him in the eye. Try explaining that to an ER doctor. Oy!

Sara

I'm lauging so hard! These are great and wonderful - I love reading that I'm not the only klutz out there.

My 3rd fell down a whole flight a stairs at 11 months - and while it scared the bedickens out of me, he has been cautious around stairs ever since (and we are super-diligent about keeping the door closed...)

The above occured just three days after he fell off his changing table and vomitted, resulting in a trip to the ER.

I locked my first in a running, air-conditioned car, though no helpful granny came over to rub my nose in it. The police took their sweet time getting there and then asked if the car was running with AC (this was in July.) Um - if it wasn't, SIR, there would be a huge hole in my window right now!

I dropped the shower head on my 3rd's head a few weeks ago (the kind that you can hold in your hand with a long hose.) I was just about to attach it to its base, so it was a long drop. It left a HUGE dent in his head and must have hurt horribly. There is still a mark. I feel really terrible about it.

The second, at about 18 months, somehow managed to get out of the house at a friend's barbeque and was seen by me, wandering around the pool as I was about to bite into my burger. Still sends shivers down my spine.

Lots and lots of banged baby heads in doorways...

Erin

Happy Birthday!

Just yesterday, as I was taking Emily out of her high chair, I set her down on the floor. Her feet were not quite under her and so she started to fall. I tried to catch her and instead, I punched her in the face. whoops! Many tears ensued.

I also have hit her head on doorways, and not just hers, but also my nephew when I was watching him. Had to explain the mark on his head to mommy.

Lorena

You know how they tell you to ALWAYS buckle your children into the seat of shopping carts at the grocery store? Well, the ONE TIME I didn't do it, my 12 month old fell, head first onto the tile floors of the store. I take that back, on his way down, he hit the bottom ledge of the shelves before hitting the floor. The impact was so hard it left a half inch dent in his forehead.
And you know how they tell you to anchor the bookcases to the wall? I didn't do it because MY kids aren't going to climb a bookcase - they're not THAT dumb. My 8 year old, yes EIGHT year old who should have known better, decided to scale the bookcase and the entire thing, books and all fell ontop of him. I was sick to my stomach for weeks because the doctor told me how lucky I was he didn't break his pelvis or crush his ribs.
I also vividly remember forcing my oldest (same one who climbed Mt. Bookcase)to eat his peas at dinner. Now, I LOVE peas and we have them almost every night. He kept throwing up after he ate them and I thought: the DRAMA this boy puts us through. So I kept forcing him to eat them. Then months later we go see the allergist and find out he has a life threatening allergy to peanuts, and peas are a cousin to the peanut. So, I was basically poisoning my son with something his body was legitamately regecting. Nice.
There's more, but it's all I can think of!

wookie

Oh wow... the stories :-)

Baby's 1st call to poision control!
I bathe my girls at the same time, and do their hair at the end. So I do the babies hair, take her out and sit her on a towel near the hot air vent. The oldest is still splashing around so I decide to use toilet cleaner on the potty and toilet while I wait for my oldest to finish up. The baby, who isn't particularly mobile (or so I think) is playing with the damp tub-toys on the floor while drying off.

I hear a thud and screaming, throw back the curtain to see her sobbing with a split lip in the bottom of the tub (she's slipped). I upright her and check to make sure her teeth are all there. I turn around and the baby has made it nearly 12 feet to the potty, has one hand in the (still full of foamy toilet cleaner) pot, and the other clutching the brush which she is waving in the air like a wand. We spent half an hour on the phone with poision control to discover that the peroxide cleaners might make you ill, but are not corrosive or horrifically poisionous (whew).

I have also forgotten to buckle carseats (once). My husband has dropped each of our children and/or smacked them into doorframes. I tripped over a dog on our deck and fell down a flight of stairs with the baby (who rolled into the grass). I've left a toddler on a lawnchair which promptly fell over and CLOSED on them. I've left my kids unsupervised long enough for them to eat Vicks Vaporub and color the dog with green crayola marker. They have found and eaten fossilized food in their carseat crevices that has made them ill. They have climbed ladders while my back was turned. They have attempted to turn on power tools. They noticed that my husband left the axe out at our campsite.

A friend slipped into his office to check email while his daughter watched Sesame Street only to return to her pouring an entire bottle of fabric softener over their brand new couch (she had climbed up on the dryer to get to the cabinet to get it, at the age of 2). She also assisted my oldest in the Vapo-rub adventure and in emptying an entire bottle of baby powder on the floor.

My cousin went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and came out to discover her 13 month old had pushed a chair over to the counter (he was not quite walking on his own), climbed up on the chair, then the counter, and pulled her 14 inch chef's knife out of the drain-rack. She turned her back on the middle one long enough to change the youngest's diaper in a park and someone tapped her on the shoulder... he had the middle child, dripping wet, in his arms. "Excuse me ma'm, is this one yours? I was fishing and he went right into the pond." Same middle child, at the age of two, within 45 seconds scaled a 12-foot metal jungle gym and was STANDING on the TOP rail when I looked up (I was baby sitting).

A friend who used to run a daycare had 2 kids (under 3) open her pantry, get out a 10 lb bag of flour and play in it long enough to coat the floor, walls and eachother (did you know flour turns to glue when it's in waist length black hair?). Her youngest crawled into the same pantry while she answered the door and locked himself in (it was now baby-locked) and when asked what he was doing in there, he answered "I eating lots and lots of little chock-lits!" He ate a whole bag of chocolate chips in about two minutes.

Another friend discovered (belatedly, as he was ill) that her oldest had brought home a Mc Donalds hamburger in his pocket Friday, put it in his drawer, and decided he was hungry SUNDAY.

Christina

I have a list, and I'm sure as they get older there will be so much more to list... we've had falls from highchairs, a fall from the changing table, falls in the bathtub, a fall from a stool requiring a trip in an ambulance, kid nearly hit by a car after running away from me in the parking lot, many heads banged into doorways and ceilings, etc. It is so scary being a parent.

Megan

My worst was when I was yelling at my (then) 3 year old daughter, grabbed her hand to "lead" her out of the living room, she tripped and smacked her forehead on the corner of the saltillo tile step. I have never seen so much blood...gushing all down her face.

She needed 11 stitches.

I still can hear the sound of her forehead hitting that step. It makes my stomach turn.

ps. Happy Birthday! (my son is 9 today....)

Karly

Ok, I was reading the comments and cracking up, but wasn't planning to comment. Until my 22 month old daughter, who was laying right next to me on the couch, rolled over and fell off the couch on her head. I had to laugh.

Some more funny ones...when my son was a baby we put him in his vibrating bouncy seat ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE and walked away. He bounced right off the table and onto his head. Go straigh to ER, do not pass Go.

A few months ago my daughter was taking a bath and I walked out of the room (ducking head in shame) to grab a towel. On my way back in I heard her yell for one of her toys and just as I turned the corner she was standing in the tub leaning over the edge to reach it when...she fell over the edge and landed on her nose with her legs straight up in the air...and then proceeded to flip over. I thought for sure her neck was broken. But, she was fine...after a few minutes of crying, of course.

I'm sure there are lots more, but those are the best.

Denise

These stories are just shake-your-head amazing! Not that I haven't done similar things. I had a very fast crawler who sped out of the bedroom, and although I was in hot pursuit she beat me to the stairs. I was still trying to catch her as she was falling, lost my balance and nearly ended up falling on top of her at the bottom!

Same daughter, when 2 years old was on the potty and needed to be wiped. I was in the bedroom across the hall nursing the baby and I called to her to wait. A few minutes later I got a phone call from a neighbor who said she saw my daughter walking down the sidewalk with no pants on! I ran outside to find her about three houses down the block!

And about that doorway banging thing...I honestly don't think it's all our fault. I noticed as I was carrying my new baby this summer, his head often jerked backwards as I walked through a door (thankfully he never hit one). I believe that they have a type of startle reflex when they see that doorway coming up quickly out of their peripheral vision. So when we moms thought we had plenty of room, the babies unexpectedly flail backwards at precisely the right moment to induce mommy-guilt and extreme embarrassment!

Stephanie C.

Happy Birthday, Carmen! Treat yourself all.day.long.

Sheree

OMG these posts are making me choke on my morning coffee. Too funny! Coincidentally, I posted about a bad mommy moment today on my blog too. But here are a couple-
I've done the doorway headbang many a time.
My older DS left the baby gate open while I was answering the phone. I was on the phone for literally 30 seconds and heard this *thump* THUMP THUMP *thump*. I knew imediately what it was and ran into the hallway to see DS2 (10mos at the time) roll down and settle on the last step before our tiled floor. He was fine, but it scared everyone half to death! And he still has a healthy respect for the stairs.
I've driven away with DS#1 unbuckled (he said "mommy, buckles!!!".
I've watched DS#1 go hell bent for leather down a slope on his toddler push toy and do an endo over the opposite curb (and I was the one who let go- doh!).

It's amazing any of us make it to adulthood and then it's amazing that any of us survive being parents without having heart attacks.

And BTW< Happy birthday!

Melessa

Hmm...I could do this all day, so I'll stick to my poison control calls. So far, I've had one per child. There was the time I fell asleep on the couch while pregnant and DD#1 helped herself to her prescription cough syrup. (It turned out she had just poured it out, but I didn't find the puddle until AFTER I called poison control.) Or the time I found DS#1 holding one of those dishwashing tablets with what looked like a bite taken out of it. That was poison control call #2 or then there was the time I caught DD#3 eating my chromium picolinate tablets like they were candy. That time, I talked to the same poison control person as I had with DD#1. (It was a man named "Windy" you don't forget that.) He was amused because she was throwing a tantrum in the background because I took the pills away from her. Apparently, you just have to flush those tablets out with lots of fluid.
Happy Birthday!

Chris

Happy Birthday!

I loved the milk story. I did something similar with cottage cheese...

Sandra

Let's see the few things that come to mind are the following:
*I've on more than 1 occasion forgot to buckle my 4 year old Logan into his car seat, and he's had to tell me mommy you forgot to buckle me in.
*I've slammed both Lyndsey and Logan's fingers in the car door...Lyndsey several times.
*I locked Logan in my van (same as you Carmin) when he was 6 or so months old.

I'm sure there is more. ;)

Cookie

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to youuuuu
Happy birthday Carmen and everyone else lissstedddd....
Happy birthday tooooooo youuuuuu! :)

*Mwah*
Hope you have a FANTASTIC day! ox

Tiff

Happy Birthday to you! These stories make me feel better. Thanks to everyone for sharing. I have a SIL who would swear she doesn't have a story to share. She is still on her first child, so I will give her some time. Just recently my "old enough to know better" 6 year old wrote with a sharpie in my dining room carpet. I found "Addison" with a heart written on the carpet. I immediately yelled for Addison, my 3 year old thinking she had done it. why? I don't know. Anyway Natalie my 9 year old says "Think about it mom, she can't write her name that well, and she can't draw a heart." I said..."You are right......JACOB!" Oh well, we want to pull the carpet out anyway to put down wood floors.

sherry

WOW! So many mommy tricks commented on already! Woohoo! We are some bunch, aren't we? lol It's really comforting to know that I am not the only one.

Let's see, the two biggest were probably the time my daughter took a glass bulb off of the Christmas tree and decided to take a bite! Thank GOD that the glass didn't cut the inside of her mouth and she did not swallow it! That was scary.

Another time I was carrying my 8 month old daughter IN her exersaucer across the living room. I couldn't see where I was going and knocked my 2- year - old son face first into the corner of the side table :( Talk about guilt! I thought I had broken his nose ..... but he's a tough cookie and after a lot of tears and comforting, he was alright.

WHEW. Scary times!

Sherry

ps HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Jess

Please do not call CPS on me. When my 11 yr old was 3 we were playing baseball in the front yard at IL's house. I went to throw the ball and it hit his square in the eye. It swelled up and to this day he still talks about the time I hit him with a baseball. Same kid fell out of bed at age 3 and hit the hardwood floor same side same swell and brusing. Same kid learning how to ice skate. DH felt he was good enough that he no longer needed to wear his hockey helmet while he was just skating, BAM face first on the ice. It is amazing the child does not have brain damage. 4ry old... wanted Mommy to twirl him in the chair. Sure ok but it would have been nice if I told him to hold on first. He went flying off and pinched his finger underneath the chair. Same child at age 2 fell down the basement stairs twice at IL's.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.