The funny thing about the flu

Is how fast it sneaks up on you.  Incredibly fast, on silent, stealthy, kitty cat feet.  You think you just might hear something behind you, so you turn around and BAM!  The Flu slams you over the head with its best cast iron skillet and down you fall into a boneless slump.

Or so it feels, anyway. 

Tuesday when I left work I felt like I might be coming down with a cold.  I stopped in the nurse's office to pick up a paper, and when she handed it to me, I literally could not read it.  My eyes would not focus. I stared at the paper, shook my head and tried again. She had to ask me twice if I was ok, and I nodded assent, but inside I wondered why I felt like I was full of lead.  The answer, of course....

THE FLU!

I've spent the past two days huddled in my bed, only getting out to grab some more medicine, something to drink, or drive to school to pick up a sick child.  Wednesday it was Mackenzie, today it was Allegra.  We've not had fevers, or stomach troubles, or the like - just a deep, wet cough, accompanied by chills and body aches. Companioned with the sudden onset, it's a classic flu case.

BUT!  On a bright note, I've gotten to watch soooo much PBS kids and Noggin that I have a fresh respect for children's programming.  I mean, really, the tragedies that these characters go through on a daily basis.  The cow on The Wonder Pets was stuck in a tree, the kids on Clifford, the Big Red Dog forgot to learn their lines for the show, and Dora had to look in that stupid backpack to help someone else - I forget who, since I fell asleep during the show. 

I think I'll live, but I'm sooooo tired and weak. All of my muscles ache from coughing.   I just tried to vacuum, and I swear to you that the vacuum sucked all the life out of me instead of the dirt out of the carpet.  It's like first trimester tiredness, without - thank you Lord - the vomits. 

Oh, and another good note?  Those stupid Mucinex commercials - the ones with the grossest blob of phlegm ever?  Those horribly vomitrocious commercials are actually for an EXTREMELY wonderful product. 

That is all. 

Tell me your plans for the weekend, since it's obvious I don't have any except to sleep and think about how messy my house is.

Comments

[Danielle]

You have my sympathy, and then some... my flu time was two weeks ago and I'm still refraining from cartwheeling down the road from the sheer joy of feeling human again (and if you knew me, you'd know that cartwheeling would lead to some dramatic bone-crushing crash that would instantly lead me back to bed... so I refrain. Just.)

I hope you that Mucinex continues to sooth and that you feel better soon!

[Still Standing]

The flu is an evil vile thing that only exists to remind everyone of their mortality. Nothing takes a strong man to his knees faster. . . .well, nothing that lasts as long as the flu anyway. It’s just an awful evil thing, and I’m sorry you have it. Hope you get well soon.

[Brenda]

Why are you vacuuming? You should be resting! I had it last week and I am STILL tired and run down. I hope you feel better, soon.

[Katie]

My weekend plans are trying to figure out how to clear the driveway of 4 inches of ice so maybe I can leave the house. Hope you all feel better soon!

[Shrinkingmom]

My husband will be doing a funeral for a 23-year old suicide victim on Saturday at 11 a.m. After that, I hope to have some free time, which seems trivial in comparison, but still.

Hope you feel better soon!

[rachel]

first I'm going to lysol my keyboard so I don't catch anything from all the sick folks whose blogs I've read.

Then I'll go get our NEW VAN! woo hoo! maybe go swimming with the kids, and go to the doctor. We're going to try to visit grandparents and show off the NEW VAN! sorry, I might be a bit excited.

I'll probably collapse in a heap - I'm hurting a lot after the winter storm.

[Elizabeth]

I think we will go skiing. I also have to get the FAFSA done pronto (for student financial aid).

My older, cynical brother and I - as adults - always liked to watch Mr. Rogers when we were sick. All of a sudden a show that was a little overly simplistic and vapid seemed so soothing and so darned interesting. Now I can't even find the re-runs anymore. I can't watch regular TV when I'm sick because 9 out of 10 commercials are for something I can't stand hearing about when I'm sick.

[Her Bad Mother]

Weekend? Recover from three days of single parenthood.

[Brandy]

Hope you all feel better soon. This weekend for us will entail...nothing but Church and grocery shopping.

[FishyGirl]

I'll be spending my weekend trying to convince my stubborn old goat of a grandfather that he has the brilliant idea to move to the assisted living portion of his retirement community so he no longer presents a danger to himself and others. And cleaning up crap, since the kids have diarrhea. But I don't have the flu, so it's good. Quit vacuuming and feel better.

[Annika]

This weekend I plan to spend cuddling my baby, whom I've been parted from most of the week.

Also, I plan to eat PIZZA.

[Nohe 5]

I don't know which is worse, the sickness or all the kids programing. This weekend there is an exhibit on quilts from the Underground Railroad that I would like to see, but I am not holding my breath. The kids and I haven't been out of the house since Tuesday. We live in the woods and our car is snowed in. We all have such cabin fever that we would do almost anything to get out of the house.

[christina]

The flu is the worst, especially when you're on mom duty. You have my sympathies. I too am a huge fan of Mucinex. Why can't they just make the commercials a bit more bearable?

This weekend we will continue tackling some early spring cleaning as my way of coping with the blizzard and being cooped up inside! I'm planning to start with the kids rooms. The company I work for has a great resource to help think about how to organize those areas (check it out at organizingmyhome.com). Now let's just hope that the weather takes a turn for the better...

[julie]

So sorry you have the flu, it has already gone through our house and I am praying it does not return. Hope you feel better soon.

[Vida]

I'm joining you. I've got the flu, my 19 month old has it, and my darling 7 year old has salmonella from the walmart peanut butter. I guess I should've listened when he begged me for hot lunches! Only my daughter is healthy, and I'm so sick I almost wish she was sick so she'd have to hold still. Almost, but not quite. I'm going to try that mucinex and see how it helps us, thanks for the tip!