Mom to mom, day to day: A book review

When Danielle Bean asked me to review her new book, Mom to Mom, Day to Day: Advice and Support for Catholic Living, I was a bit, um, reluctant.  I AM Catholic, AND a mom, so why not review it, right?  I mean, really, who better to review a book BY a Catholic mom, a book that is geared as support FOR a Cathlic mom, than me?  I've read her blog for a while now, and knew that I liked her.  She's got eight kids, and a great down to earth manner.  But I don't read books written for Catholic mothers.  I just don't, since I find the vast majority of them to be preachy and in my face.  In fact, I was kicked out of my Catholic women's book club because I didn't read the books.  I despise women who have it all together and proceed to tell me, in minute detail, exactly how I am failing. Most books written for Catholic moms seem to fall in this category.  Most days I am hardly the poster child for how to live a Catholic life.

The book arrived, and I set it to the side for a couple of days.  Monday, I had a tough day with Riley and needed a book to read while I rocked her to calm her after a tantrum.  I grabbed Danielle's book, and sat down to read it, mostly out of a sense of obligation. Then I read my own feelings in Danielle's words.  She says:

Who does this woman think she is? I find myself furiously thinking as I flip to the back cover to read the author’s bio. Is her family really so perfect? Doesn’t her husband ever leave his balled-up, smelly socks on the bedroom floor and she snaps at him about it? Don’t her kids ever argue about who’s looking at whom and who got the last cookie last time and who got it the time before that and who got it the time before that and who obviously should not get it this time because he behaved so poorly when the babysitter was here last night?  Doesn't she ever get just plain sick and tired of everyone in the world expecting her to have it all together all of the time?  Doesn't she ever roll her eyes and hold back a sudden urge of nausea when someone suggests that the solution to all of her personal problems is simply finding more time in her life for daily prayer?

If you aren't Catholic, stick with me - I promise, it's worth it.

My best friend is another Catholic mom, and she moved across the country.  I miss her dreadfully, but in reading this book, I felt like I was talking with her.  This is not a preachy book at all, but more like honest to goodness, down to earth friendship and conversation. Danielle solicited questions from readers of her web site, and as a result, Mom to Mom reads like a coffee klatsch.  She discusses dealing with stress, housework, marital woes, keeping a clean house, faith, clutter, taking little people to church - always a struggle for me - and being a Catholic in a non Catholic world.  Probably my most favorite quote from the entire book was, "Sometimes I just want to be normal.  I want to fit in."  Oh, man, can I relate.  (After reading this, I want Danielle to move in across the street and be my neighbor.)

About daily prayer:  Of course I don't have time for daily prayer.  I have all these little kids to care for!  And of course I can never make it to weekday Mass - I'm just trying to keep my head above water! Scripture study?  Not with my schedule!  The Rosary?  In your dreams!

Other memorable bites: The vocation of marriage and motherhood is fraught with complications and challenges.  As God intends it to be our path to heaven, the living out of this vocation is likely to be the most difficult and yet the most fulfilling work any of us ever do.  and If you keep score, everyone loses.  As well as The point is, you choose.  Consciously.  That's been my biggest eye opener this year with regards to almost every situation, and to read it gave me goose bumps. 

With small, easy to digest chapters, easily read in five or so minutes between dishes and loads of laundry, this book is  a priceless gem.  I read it in two sittings with pen in hand, underlining and checking salient points.  Lots of ink markings.  There is much in this book that a non Catholic could relate to - knowledge, wisdom and humor rolled in to one. 

I plan to purchase multiple copies and pass them to friends, as well as a few women I often see at church who I think could benefit from the wisdom Danielle imparts.  This book isn't a lecture.  It isn't a dry, tasteless crumb that leaves you feeling like a failure, wondering how you could ever think that you could be good enough.  This book is a big cup of coffee, with your best girlfriend and a chocolate cake. 

I can't recommend it highly enough.  Others have reviewed Mom to Mom far better than I have, but I would venture to say that I don't think any of them were as moved as I was by this book.  Buy your copy today. 

Comments

[Brandy]

Thank you, as a Catholic Mom who also homeschools; I don't have time for daily prayer either. I always feel inadequite(sp)(I'm tired) of the mothers who DO seem to be able to do it all. I'll be sure to look for this book.

[katef]

I am a lurker her and not a catholic mum but still love your blog... and I loved your reivew of this book so just had to comment!
This line 'The point is, you choose. Consciously' speaks volumes to me.. I am going to write it in big letter and stick it on my computer screen!
thanks for a great read!

[Christy]

I love your blog-I lurk often but never have time to comment because well, I'm a mom! I am not Catholic, but I am a Christian and I also find it very difficult to pray every day, read my bible, and do all the things we are told to do (and I know I should be doing) I will have to find this book, because I too need something that doesn't preach to me or lecture!

[Valerie]

Thanks for the review...I think I'll probably buy the book once I have cashflow again. I'm de-lurking to comment. I've read your blog off and on for a while now. I just re-discovered you via Larger Families...didn't you used to be at Blogger?

[Jennifer]

Hey, I'm a Catholic mom who doesn't homeschool, imagine how bad I feel most of the time? I'm going to pick up a copy of this book.

[Betsy]

You are my new 2nd favorite blog! I'm also a Catholic mom of six, and I buy the Catholic mother books, but feel, well, depressed after reading them because I just don't even come close! You have me sold on Danielle's new book! I read your fistfight in Walmart post- Ha! GREAT! I feel going to Walmart is part of my purgatory time on earth!

[Jess]

Non-Catholic Mom raising children Catholic, DH Catholic, I might just have to pick this book up. It sounds like it would be a great read for any Mom Catholic or not.

[Elizabeth]

I also liked your review. I grew up Catholic and am now in a mainstream Protestant church (long story) - and one of your comments interested me - the part about the difficulty of being Catholic in a non-Catholic world. I actually miss that. I felt different and special. Now, I really do fit in with my community, which is easy, but not quite as "special" - and it can be easier to forget my faith at times. Just my two cents on appreciating the things that annoy you.

[Chantal]

I've been getting/feeling some flack lately for my slide as a Catholic Mom (or even the fact that I am a liberal Catholic Mom). Sounds like this book might be something to help me touch base with the Catholic I am and stop worrying about the Catholics others are.

[lyns]

Thanks for the review...I a protestant mom of three soon to be four...and I too can relate to even just the few quotes in your review...sounds like a great book!! Hope all is well...have a great weekend! xo lyns

[Sarah]

Hi, I was directed to your blog via Danielle Daily.
My daughter was also diagnosed with Sensory Integration Dysfunction last fall. Have you ever posted any tidbits of wisdom/thoughts on your blog about sensory issues?
I am finding that my husband and I are very alone in this area, even doctors don't seem to want to know/understand. We read as much as we can and thankfully she has been going to OT.
Any thoughts would be SO appreciated!
Sarah

[Kathleen]

Carmen,
I love it! Is this book already available? I would love to read her take, I enjoy her blog.
I too am a Catholic mom, with only 4 kids who are in -- SHOCK ---PUBLIC school!! I am like most people, trying my best and struggling with MY impression that everyone thinks they are better than me. Once I reach out, I have realized that most of it is in my head.

On a side note, I have a 13 year old, non-autistic son who has sensory integration. Let me tell you that it does get better! At least the SIDs part. With maturity comes a self realization that certain things are going to bug him and he has really developed wonderful coping skills. My little "tactile defensive" kid is now playing tackle football!!

Please keep writing! Your blog IS one of the highlights of my day.
K

[FishyGirl]

I am a Catholic adult-convert mom, married to an agnostic who was raised methodist-turned-episcopalian, trying to raise my kids in a faith that I'm growing increasingly uncertain about theologically, although I love everything else about the Church. My kids go to public school, but attend catechism and mass, most of the time, although because DH refuses to go I usually only take one kid at a time, until they are a little older. I often find the same thing you do in Catholic Mom books (is that a genre now?), but based on your description, I think I'll like this one.

[Mommy's robes]

Mommys don't wear the pope's robes, but we are gifted with God's patience. at least some of the time! I loved the snippets you shared today... especially "you choose. consciously."

[Busy Mom]

As a Catholic mother in a world where my peers are caught up in some strange "more Catholic than thou" competition, I think this might be a good one to read!