You know you need a date with your husband when...
Scene: The woman stands at the sink, washing dishes - a place where she can be found more often than not. Around her swirls chaos - barbie heads fly past her, lego towers tumble to the ground, and cereal crunches beneath her feet. Two older children are bickering furiously. The television piercingly wails the theme to That's So Raven, a song that the woman can, and has been know to, sing in her sleep. The youngest child lays on the floor screaming and pounding her feet. The woman makes a mental list of everything she must do in the next two days - the soccer games, laundry, the birthday party, which means a gift must be bought and wrapped. Father's Day is coming, necessitating a gift purchase, medication needs refilling, there are four phone messages to return and the checkbook must be balanced. Doctor's appointments, school volunteering, and the woman has an evaluation at work in the next few days. She's got a lot on her mind and is in no mood to be trifled with.
Enter The Hubster. He looks around the house at the mess, the noise pounding at his ears and the children pounding at his feet. He decides, brilliantly, to ask the woman if she'd been to the grocery store. After all, he has no oatmeal. This is, apparently, a tragedy.
"Where is my oatmeal?"
" We are out." she explains.
He looks at her and blinks. "What do you mean, we are OUT? How could we be out? Don't you keep track of this stuff?" he bellows.
She looks at him and says, "I've got a lot on my mind. It's not MY oatmeal, it's yours, so go get it yourself if you need it."
To which the man in question replies, "Dammit, Elizab-" and then he stops cold. Clearly, he's made a gaff of enormous proportions, and he knows it. His eyes meet those of the woman, and he shrugs, as if to say, "Oh, well. I goofed."
For, you see, the name that he started to spout was that of his ex wife. His defense, which was clearly non existant, was that he was angry. And tired. And feeling as if he wasn't that important, and maybe he'd need to make it up to the woman by taking her out to eat. At somewhere very expensive.
__________________________
This story is true, and it is posted in hopes that I will be chosen as the winner of The Parent Bloggers newest contest, one that they are putting on in conjunction with marriage.eharmony.com - which is a fantastic alternative to marriage counseling. What's the prize, you ask? The opportunity to win a $100 American Express Gift Card to spend on a dinner date with your spouse/partner. And if that doesn’t cut it (because dinner with the kids is not really dinner), we’re including $100 to pay the babysitter.
Sweet.
Hey that sounds a lot like my life except for theex wife part. I will have to check out that contest have a great weekend Char
Posted by: char | June 02, 2007 at 12:35 AM
Oh, ouch. Yeah, not a smooth move!
If you have a Sam's Club, get the HUGE box of oatmeal. It lasts awhile! :)
Posted by: Karen | June 02, 2007 at 08:28 AM
Dang... that's the secret. Too bad mine doesn't have an ex-wife. I could sooooo get a date out of him for once if he felt guilty enough. LOL.
(Date? What's that?????)
Posted by: meritt | June 02, 2007 at 10:20 AM
Oh My! At first I was thinking, hey, that's not her name, then when I got to the big E and X my mouth dropped open. That's a doosey...do you think an expensive dinner will do? I'm thinking something more along the lines of diamonds, but then again it would serve as a constant reminder of his blunder...yes, the apology must be a consumable.
Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Kerry | June 02, 2007 at 12:04 PM
Oh, ow. So sorry. He would be sooooo in the doghouse. If you're gonna act like an ass, at least remember who you're acting like an ass to. Well, if I don't win the night out, I hope you get it.
Posted by: FishyGirl | June 02, 2007 at 03:08 PM
I hope you win -- great story.
Posted by: SusieJ | June 02, 2007 at 05:35 PM
Okay, I entered too but I'm thinking you deserve to win after that!
Posted by: Sherry | June 02, 2007 at 10:59 PM
My husband used to call me his ex-wife's name when he was mad. I found it amusing.
Posted by: Sherry | June 04, 2007 at 02:19 PM
Earlier this year my divorce was finalized. I've been dating a wonderful man pretty much since we separated. Anyhoo...one night when we were out and coming back to his house I slipped and called him Scott instead of Walker. Walker was none to happy. Honest mistake on my part. Hopefully, you cut the Hubster a little slack. ;)
Posted by: Sandra | June 05, 2007 at 03:07 PM