A Lesson Learned

When I was a child, my dad was a weekend mechanic.  I remember him taking the engine out of our van - school bus yellow, totally embarrassing - and completely rebuilding it.  Of course, I had no desire to learn.  I didn't want to watch, didn't want to learn, and had zero desire to hear about anything car related.  How to change oil?  Who cares, just go up the street to JiffyLube.  Flat tire?  That's what AAA is for. 

When I turned 17, my dad helped me to buy a car.  It was an old, 1976 Ford Pinto, with the floorboards rusted through on the drivers side - which I didn't discover until much later - and choke trouble.  My father installed a manual choke, and taught me how to accelerate and baby the car along by opening and closing the choke. 

Today I went to get some coffee and parked next to a GMC Tahoe.  There were two people inside, a guy behind the steering wheel and a girl in the passenger seat - both, at the most, 20 years old.  They had the windows open and were arguing furiously. Averting my eyes, thinking it a lover's argument, I went in and bought my coffee.  When I returned, I saw that the hood of their vehicle was up, and they were still arguing.  "How could this happen?  Who's going to help us?  I guess I can call my mom, but, boy, is she going to be pissed!'  He tried to crank the key, and there was no response from the engine.

"Got a dead battery?"  I asked.  He looked at me and shrugged.  "I have no idea.  How would I know that?" he muttered.  I told him I had cables and I'd be glad to give him a jump, if he needed.  He nodded and climbed out of the car.  I asked him what side the battery was on, and he pointed to the washer fluid.  Ooookay, then.  I popped my own hood and handed him the ends of the jumper cables, which he started clanging together, like cymbals.  "No, don't do that!"  I warned.  All I needed was for the guy, who was clearly inexperienced, to blow up his engine or mine.  I connected mine, connected his, and he was able to turn the key and the engine started right up.  I disconnected his car, and he was gone.  Off.

Which brings me to the whole point of this post.

What are you happy that your parents taught you?  What skills do you think today's kids should have before they move out of the house?  What do you want to make sure your kids know? Necessary skills are so different today than 100 or even 50 years ago.  I learned to make bread from my mother - how to knead it, shape it into loaves, and let it rise.  I'm not sure that this is a skill I'm going to insist my kids, both boy and girl, know.  Jump starting a car, that one is necessary still, I think.  Cleaning an oven, not so much.  Cleaning a refrigerator, definitely. 

I'm glad that my parents taught me to be polite.  To say thank you.  And to know  where the battery is located in my vehicle. 

Comments

[Loralee]

I will be forever grateful to my mother for teaching me how to use public bathrooms without touching ANYTHING.

[amy]

Oh my - this is a tough one since there are so many things. For one I am very grateful to them for putting me through college without needing to pay for it myself or take out a loan. Also my mom taught me a lot about being hospitable to guests and writing my thank you notes!

[Becki]

I was a bit spoiled; I don't think I did a load of laundry until I went to college. But my parents did teach me to be polite, and to go to church, two things I value highly today. Also, more recently, my dad taught me to make the perfect scrambled egg. A small but delicious thing I will always remember him by.

[Brandy]

I am thankful for so much from my parents, well, my mother as my father worked out of town 5 out of 7 days a week. I am thankful she taught me manners, how to be kind, how to read, how to stand up for myself when I need to, and most of all; how to love. I am thankful to my dad for teaching me how to check the oil in a car and how to check the power stearing fluid.
Thanks for the topic Carmen. It's a hard week. My mom passed away 5 years ago thursday.

[LaShawn]

I am thankful that my parents taught me how to change a tire and jump a car. I also will be following my mother's advice with my own kids: EVERY child should know how to follow a basic recipe for cooking, know how to properly do laundry, know how to turn off the main water line to the house (as well as the gas main) and every child should know that it is ok to call home and ask for help when you need it.

[Emily]

I agree with LaShawn. Aside from jumping a dead battery and changing tires, I think kids need to know how to change the fluids.

And I'll never forget the first time I took the car to a brand new job and there wasn't any gas in it. I had never had to pump my own gas before. It took me 20 minutes to figure it out, while the stupid thing was beeping at me! I was late, embarrassed, and upset that my parents wouldn't have bothered to show me how to pump gas.

[Deputy's Wife]

Both of my parents are deaf. I have been using sign language since I was a baby. (Yes, baby. At least that is what my mother said.) Sometimes, when I was a teenager, I hated interpreting for them. Doctors visits, bank appointments, even interpreting for my father at his business. My dad always told me someday I would thank him for all of it.

Now, he is right. I am a sign language interpreter. I love my profession. (And make a decent wage too!) I have told both of my parents that by making me interpret they gave me good life skills and a profession to be proud of!

[Tammy/Photography for Fun]

I think I've always been the most thankful that I learned as much as I did about babies when I had siblings that are much younger than I. That helped so much when I had a baby and lived so far away from anyone who could help me. I never felt completely at a loss as a lot of new young mothers do. Thankfully my youngest siblings even wore cloth diapers so when my daughter developed an allergic reaction to disposable diapers and I had to use cloth, I knew how to do it!

[sarah]

I am keeping a wee file (aka blog category, lol) of things I want to remember to teach my boys, as they occur to me. So far it only has:
The importance of a firm handshake.
That gentleness is often more impressive than strength.
That tidy handwriting is not just for girls.
To smile at people.
For myself, I'm glad my mum taught me to cook really fast but still mostly edible dinners!

[Monica]

How to live frugally and be respectful towards people. Even though I'm at a point in my life where I finally don't have to pinch pennies I still find myself shopping with my calculator and figuring out just which one really is cheaper. :)

Oh - and that a floor is not truly cleaned until you've gotten down on your hands and knees to scrub it.

My dad raised me and my sister, he messed up on a lot of things, but he did some thing right too.

[SillyMe]

So you know that wont blow up the engine, it will damage the batteries and alternator. lol

[Audi]

I can say I didn't learn a lot from my parents growing up. What I find most important I learned from my Aunts and Grandparents. I learned that even though people may not be part of your family they still can be as close if not closer than your family and that is okay. I learned that compasion for others is a great gift and not to forget to use it. I also learned that sometimes it is okay to skip a day of cleaning your house to spend time with you kids. The house will always be there tomarrow. Also that you should never assume you child has learned everything they need to know. The last thing I think we need to teach our children is how to manage money. That credit cards are great but you still end up having to pay for what you bought on them later. Only spend what you have.

[Maureen]

My parents taught me that while life is good - it can be tough and that the only way to get through it is to rely on faith. I don't know how I would have gotten this far if I didn't have faith and it is something that I hope I have passed on to my children.

[Ann]

My parents taught me to always be respectful and polite to adults(of course, now that I am an adult....do I still have to be polite??), to remember that we are all put on this earth for a reason, and my father taught me a love of politics. I do think everyone needs to know SOMETHING about car maintenence....which my step-father taught me and I am forever grateful.

[meanie]

-manners
-love of reading
-ability to pick my battles
-empathy

*picking my battles is especially important with a 2 and 5 year old!

[Katie]

From my mom, love of books and the importance of family.

From my dad, everything else. I'm almost 30 and I still call him on the phone and ask him how to do things. I've never gotten over the "my dad knows everything" because he does know everything!

[Kendra]

My father is the most generous man alive; it is a trait that I hope my younger children get to see (and remember) before it is too late. I think that my husband and I are pretty generous too, within our means, of course.

I got everything else from my mother-she is also my best friend.

[mcewen]

Thank you . A very thought provoking and sobering post. Now I'm going to go away and think.
Best wishes

[Therese]

My parents taught me how to be a decent parent and how to work hard to get the things that I want.

The things that kids should know now:
1. How to balance a checkbook.
2. How to take a flight at an airport.
3. How to wash their own clothes and make an edible meal.

[Chris]

Some lessons that I really appreciate:
Never judge a person by their looks. You can be self-confident and competent even if you don't wear make-up or the most stylish clothes.
Always take time to listen to others.
The tangible skill lessons were good, too, but I think these were the more valuable skills.

[Esme]

Aside from all of those intangible lessons -- be a good person, judge not lest ye be judged, think before you speak, etc. -- my parents wouldn't let me leave for college until I had demonstrated that I could cook a pot of rice without a rice cooker (so I wouldn't starve), change a flat tire, jump-start a car, and balance a checkbook. My younger brothers had to pass the same test when their times came. All three of us are well into adulthood now, and thank our parents nearly daily for making sure we could do, at least, those four things.

[wookie]

Jump a battery, change a tire. Fluids and oilchanges... you can usually figure out or get an assist on those... they are not usually "emergency" items.

How to get help when you need it. How to figure out what to ask so that someone can help you. How to problem solve.

How to live within your means (ie- not blow out your credit limit, not get a massively inflated cellphone bill), how to keep track of and pay all your bills.

How to cook basic food. How to buy groceries on a tight budget.

How to do your own laundry and ironing, making your own bed, doing your own dishes and vaccuming (yes... there are teens who do not know these things).

How to use a card cataloge (ie- how to find information without the internet).

[Karen Vogel]

No, no, no - teach them to clean the oven, definitely! Anyone who reads my blog knows that my family has suffered from way too many oven fires due to my neglect of that appliance.

[Liz in Seattle]

Certainly not required skills, but:
- How to sail large boats, confidently
- How to ski
- How to hike and camp
- The non-squeamishness with regards to the outdoors
- The self-sufficency that these skills taught

[carrie]

Some good thoughts! And the bread: I was just teaching my 9 yr old son how to make pizza dough, and told him, "you're going to learn this so you can always feed yourself cheaply."

My mother taught me resourcefulness. Not on purpose, but it sure comes in handy when you continually have no money and four kids!