Every child is different, but they all need to eat

Check out The Parent Bloggers Deceptively Delicious Blog Blast for today - here is my entry to win the $250 gift card to Williams-Sonoma. (I was pretty impressed with the Deceptively Delicious book and I'll be reviewing it later on next week.)

Having six kids, I've gone through my fair share of "He won't eat dinner!  She's living on french fries and chicken nuggets!"  I've fiddled with different ways of disguising food, of cajoling and bribing, tricking, pleading and outright lying.  My oldest child didn't eat solid foods until he was 15 months old, despite careful purchase of organic veggies, free range chicken and hormone free milk.  He turned up his nose at all of it and continued to nurse exclusively until he was over a year old.  That child is now taller than me, drinks a gallon of milk a day, and spends $10 on healthy foods whenever I allow him to buy lunch at school.

Which is hardly ever, because, hello?  $10???  For one kids lunch? He can pack his three sandwiches, fruit and bottled water, thanks. (It's $10 because he eats a lot, and at his school, they have a buffet line, prime ground for him.)

I did cook separately for him when he was younger, somewhat. I remember calling my mother once in a panic because he wouldn't eat pasta one night, just sauce and bread. Why that bothered me, I have no idea.   As I added more children to the mixture, cooking a separate meal became more and more of a pipe dream.  I rarely do that anymore.  Interestingly enough, The Hubster, who has nine kids, is willing to cook three separate meals for our kids, in order to make them happy.  I am so not going there.

Child #6 is my Sensory Sensitive child.  She was born with very poor facial muscle tone and didn't eat solids until we'd done a few turns in the feeding clinic.  Getting her to eat was a challenge and a struggle, and it really was a celebration when she ate her first bite of yogurt, or applesauce, or popcorn.  Today, this child is one of my best eaters.  She will eat what I give her with very little argument.

In our house, the rule is that you have to eat what you are served.  Period.  I will always give a choice of fruit, offering one that I know everyone likes and one that most like.  I serve two veggies with lunch and dinner, and one of those is non negotiable.  They have to eat them. I do know that kids have different taste buds and that it can take 20 or more times that a food is offered before it is accepted.  I know that there isn't anything in one food that you can't find in another.  I also know that sometimes, you have to eat what you are served and we don't waste foods.  And I've been heard to answer, "Yes, I know you don't like cucumbers.  When you are an adult, you don't ever have to eat them again."

Which is why beets will never be served in MY house.

Just for kicks, I'm putting a list of likes and dislikes under the fold.  See what I have to work around?

N - 15 year old boy.  Likes broccoli raw not cooked, cucumbers and carrots, peas and green beans, especially fresh.  Bananas, apples, applesauce, pears, plums, mangoes and peaches. Expects a hot breakfast daily.  Does not like any leftover food and feels that every meal should be freshly prepared.  Will be in big trouble when he moves out on his own. Drinks milk by the gallons and loaves and loaves of bread, vats of peanut butter and is overall a healthy eater.

A - 12 year old girl.  Likes broccoli, salad, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, peas and green beans. Loves apples, oranges, plums, peaches, pineapple, strawberries, mangoes and grapes.  Hates mushrooms.   Eats just about anything else, does not drink milk.  Has a special place for Mexican foods. Loves fruit smoothies and tolerates orange juice.  has reflux, so too much tomato sauce is out.

M - 10 year old girl.  Eats everything.  Doesn't drink milk due to allergy.

G - 8 year old boy.  Wants to be a hotdog-eterian when he grows up.  Hates all forms of meats.  Has to eat them anyway.  Loves bananas, apples, grapes, carrots, green beans.  Eats other veg protestingly.

E - 5 year old girl, mind of steel with regards to pickiness. Has decided, in the past three weeks, that she no longer eats apples, bananas, yogurt, strawberries, cereal, grapes, breakfast bars, green beans, pizza (wtf?) peas, carrots,hamburgers, salad, broccoli.  Has to eat them anyway, and protests vociferously when required to do so.  In fact, the only thing that she has eaten in the past month without complaint is macaroni and cheese.  Oh, and chocolate milk, which is actually  Instant Breakfast.   

R - 3 year old girl.  Loves apples, carrots, bananas, strawberries, grapes, and just about any food that is served to her. 

Whew.  I can't keep track of it, so I don't really bother.  I know that, no matter what I serve, three are guaranteed to fuss.  I don't care.  We eat it anyway.

Comments

[mimbles]

I cook a "scare the kids" dinner about once a week because I got sick of eating the same stuff over and over. They eat it or go hungry. We're slowly expanding our repertoire of non-complaint inducing meals, at least I only have three to accommodate!

[Becki]

Oo! Oo! I have a hotdogetarian too! He is devoted to the rights of vegetables not to be eaten.

Tomorrow I plan to become a good mother and to stop catering to my kids' food pickiness. Also to throw out hte TV. I'll let you know how it goes.

[Amy]

I cook one meal as well, usually with two veggies. Nothing has to be finished, but you must eat a couple of bites of what is served. And our table rule is that you (the kiddos) can't tell us (the parents) you don't like a certain food because chances are we already know. Amazingly it works. My daughter eats everything, and my son eats at least two bites of everything.

I "close" my kitchen between meals, and we have one snack time between lunch and dinner. The days where they have more snacks (church days, b-day parties, sports games) are usually the days that prove harder getting them to eat what is served.

[Belinda]

And I am forever whining about having to cook for 3 people. Sheesh!

[Kendra]

Now I know why you have to hit the market so often-with all of these fresh fruit/veg eaters you need your own orchard/garden!!!

My kids eat pretty good, and the rule here is that you take a 'no thank you' bite of everything on your plate. And yes, we even eat beets! Straight out of the garden, boiled with salt and pepper only for me thankyouverymuch. (I'm a recent convert) My 5yo was eating beets as a 2.5yo and thought that no one was watching and said to his fork full of beets "Come to Papa." The stuff of family legends!!

[Tess]

I have two little boys (aged almost 7 and 4) for whom chips and nuggets is a food group :-(
I take my hat off to you in your efforts with getting your kids to eat different things

[Brandy]

My 5 year old will not eat meat unless it belongs to a chicken strip. He will eat noodles, but no spaghetti sauce and loves bread. He'll eat all kinds of cheese, but mention vegetables and he makes a nasty face.
Daughter on the other hand, will at least try things and will eat most of what I cook.

May I say that you have my admiration for feeding all those kids?!

[mary]

When my whole picky family of 7 actually like the same meal, it is a miracle! It does not happen often, let me say. Except maybe pizza night b/c i have to order 3 anyway so everyone gets what they want!!
They all like cheeseburger hamburger helper.. except DH who complains then.
I just cant win, which is why I only cook fast simple meals. Why bother?

[kalisah]

Hell, I'm impressed that you were able to make out that entire list. That's a lot of preferences to keep up with.

You are MUCH BETTER at making eating rules and sticking to them than I EVER was. My guys are meat-and-potato boys. I've only just recently started buying frozen veg and trying to include them at dinner. Surprisingly, they both eat them fairly well.

But My Kid prefers veg to fruit. He doesn't really like sweet of anything (even w/ candy he prefers the "sours"). Yeah, I'm not sure whose Kid he is exactly.

[Rachel]

I've come to the conclusion that children are just a PITA :O)
I know, I know... I once was a child and you know what, I'm pretty sure I was a big old pain in the a** back then when it came to being picky about certain things, but oh well. I think what you're doing is great. I think that we live in a world these days that caters to children too much. I don't remember getting served another meal as a child unless it was something my parents knew far in advance that we just didn't like and never had (meaning we'd tried it plenty and we simply didn't like it) and then it was a PB&J sandwich. I appreciated that because I hated and to this day hate ravioli, and my brother was the same way with stir fry. I don't think it's fair to cook something that you know makes your child sick to their stomach and force them to eat it or go hungry, but I DEFINITELY think it fair to make everyone eat the same meal a majority of the time.

My big pet peeve's the "finish all the food on your plate rule" or as we call in the child development world the "starting bad habits early on" rule, but that's a whole other story!

[Kini]

I have one child who detests "kid food" like mac & cheese, hot dogs, nuggest, pbj. She prefers seafood, ribs, steak, sushi, tuna, and most any veggie which is not green (but she has to eat them anyhow). Also drinks milk by the gallons.

My other child only likes pbj, grilled cheese (with turkey in it! but call it a grilled cheese and turkey and no dice!), mac and cheese (but only homemade or stouffers -- HATES the blue box stuff). Likes most veggies but tomatoes and onions. Abhors pizza (like you, wtf??). Likes most fruit except red grapes (again, why red?). Drinks only chocolate milk (usually an instant breakfast type of additive) and not much of it.

I hear you sister!

[amy]

We do 'polite bite' at my house. On the rare occasion we actually all get to sit down to eat it is mandatory to eat at least one bite of everything on their plate without comment (hence the term polite bite) If they say something negative they must continue to take another bite until they can do so without any freakin comment. An older sibling can so ruin a meal with one ewwwwwwww that all the littles will have nothing to do with what is on their plate. Polite bite works well for us. But since returning to work full time I have to admit we are hard pressed to all be sitting around a table breaking bread together anymore. Which is another rant all together.

[wookie]

We also do the non-negotiable bite. Another friend calls it the "no thank-you helping".

My pet peeve is the complaining (them) and yelling (me). In an attempt to stop the yelling, complaining will now get you in timeout (my kids are still that little). You don't like it, eat your one bite and I won't say a word. But whine and fuss and pout and "that's disGUSting!" will not be tolerated!

[colleen]

We recently bought a blendtec and it is amazing what the kids will eat if they get to blend it up first. Mine enjoy carrot juice (carrots, grapes and apples). Their fruit servings have increased because they are drinking smoothies with most meals (usually whatever is in the freezer, if thrown into the blendtec they will drink; plus I can sneak in a veggie or two, usually spinach or carrots, or kale -- things I don't really like eating but I'm glad to see they do).

Colleen

[Paige]

It is tough! I don't serve my children broccoli (since I don't like it), so they probably won't like it either. Oh well. Maybe they'll marry a broccoli lover and learn to like it. The way I figure is, they get to have foods they like for breakfast and lunch. Dinner is for grown ups, too, and so we will serve whatever I feel like and they will at least TRY it. But we do have our shares of mealtime battles.

[Pat]

When we would have extended family dinners, one of my nephews (very polite from an early age) told my mother when she commented on his not eating something, that, "Grown-ups would probably like it." Mom was so in awe of his saying this instead of his brothers', "Yuck!" that he received extra dessert that night. Always an incentive for good table manners!

[Marlee]

I too have a very picky eater. I have given up making her eat something she doesn't want to. But we do take Juice Plus vitamins (just google them if you haven't heard of them). You take 2 pills in the a.m. and 2 in the p.m. one is veggies and one is fruit and those make up your entire serving for the day. They are awwesome.

[Jen]

I just love this blog... and all the comments attached! Fantastic. We live in Germany (hubby's job forced a move) and I come here every now and then to get my English fix. Kendra, what a hoot- I haven't laughed out loud that hard in a while, thank you!!!!
Thank goodness my boy eats pretty much whatever I put in front of him (except mashed potatoes, can you imagine??)... he's always been easy with food.
Thanks ladies!

[Emily]

My baby is negative 32 weeks and already has a list of food s/he will not tolerate. On this list is:
Candy, any sort of meat that does not come in a paper wrapper, anything that can be smelled while cooking. And so for the last 5 weeks I as the host have had to live on mashed potatoes, raw vegetables and fruits, and Wheat Thins. I swear, if it's this picky now, I'm in for a battle later.

[Emma]

I am in awe. I have four kids and a husband and I swear I cook six dinners every night. I have taken to going on strike and letting the kids make themselves cereal for dinner because I can't cope.

[Crystal]

Good Evening- this site is great. As for the picky eaters- my friends laughs and ask me what I did to get both my girls (12 & 6) to be such good eaters? Since they LOVE fish (hubby is a fisherman), venison-very lean and healthy compared to beef (hubby hunts) and vegetables (we grow a garden)- I told them it has always been simple here......I told them-"this isn't a restaurant- eat or go hungry- after the first 2 times of enforcing this (as toddlers) they have been good eaters!!"
And as for cleaning their plate.....if the parents knew what was actually proper portions then the children CAN eat the right amount and clean their plates and not be obese. They can always ask for more.