Mom to the Screaming Masses

A Year in Review

What happened to me during the last year?  Let's take a look backwards, shall we?

In January, I went back to work for the first time in fifteen years.  I encountered a troll.  I had a rare moment of peace with my SID kid.  The Hubster celebrated his 52nd birthday.

February brought a cruise from The Hubster's job.  A list of weird things about me.  I came down with the flu. My son brought home one of the cutest gifts I've ever received.  My dryer broke.

March?   Eh, not much happened then.  I reached a sixty pound weight loss.  I incited a riot in the comments when talking about the handicapped stall in the public bathroom.  The tooth fairy messed up. (Again.) I contemplated closing my blog.

April  saw a trip to Canada for The Hubster's job.  I wrote a post on Autism that was the topic of much conversation - is SID true Autism or not?  My computer, cell phone and iPod all died on the same day.  I started a new website.

May was a great month.  I squirted shampoo up my nose.  I got a tattoo for Mother's Day, for reaching my 70 pound weight loss goal.  Emma almost cut the tip of her finger off. I was in the newspaper for successful weight loss.  There was a tornado at my son's school.  Nikolas turned 15.

Resolutions, schmesolutions

So, yeah, it's the second to last day of the year.  Time for all of us to decide if there is going to be a New Year's Resolution in your future.  Will you make one?  What will it be?

I haven't ever really been much of a Resolution maker. In fact, I've only ever been able to keep one - I had pretty good luck with that one.  I made that one two years ago. 

For 2008, I make the following resolutions:

• to try to be more kind to myself, my family and my coworkers
• to keep a better handle on my expenses
• keep my weight exactly where it is

The rest of my goals are fitness related. 

What are you planing to change, and how will you go about doing so?

Requested Cookie Recipe #1

Before Christmas, I posted the cookies that I was making, and a few of you requested recipes. Here is the first one.

Polis Mazurkas, recipe below the fold.

Today, I was the Good Mom

It rarely happens, I know.

I was supposed to meet friends for lunch today, and they didn't show, so I had lunch by myself.  It was  good lunch, too.  After eating, I walked over to the chi chi mall and checked in at Nordstorm's to see if the jeans I'd ordered had arrived - no dice.  I decided to look around for a warm up suit type thing.  (I know, I'm so clear on what I want.  It needs to be a zip front jacket with no pockets and no ribbing, or very very little in a color the same as the fabric, not made of lycra blend, not velour, but cotton.  Black, light pink, red or dark green are fine.  Gray or a teal/gray combo would be good.  I wonder why I can't find what I want?  Can you help?)

I found one that I really liked, but it was more than I wanted to pay, and so I left it.  I bought a coffee and walked back to the Jeep, and drove home.  I made a quick stop at the sporting goods store and didn't find a suit there either, and so I came home.  Hmm.  I might need to cough up the extra and get the one I liked. 

I wanted to go running.  But I wanted to spend time with my kids.  It's been a tense couple of days here, with some frustrations abounding, and I was determined to make amends.  I planned to take Riley with me in the jogging stroller, but Emma wanted to go as well.  So I took both of them.

Why do I do it to myself?

Every year, it's the same thing.  I spend months trying to find just the right gift for each person in my family.  I think and think about what I'm going to get for them, discarding ideas almost as soon as they appear.  Once I settle on the perfect item, it is all I can do not to let the idea out.  I am more excited, I think, than the kids some times.

I wrote yesterday that I was upset.  I don't know that I've ever been that upset with how badly a gift was received.  It was not well received because it was the wrong color.  The wrong color.  And it RUINED my day.

Every year I'm glad that Christmas is over.  And I hate that.  And I do it to myself.  I am not going to do that anymore.  My nerves can't take it.  I'm not stressing any more.  That part is over for me.

So today I went to return a few things and spent some time in retail therapy at Target.  That is a fun place for me.  I took my oldest and we spent some time just walking around, talking about what happened yesterday and how it was a good lesson for him, for the future.  My time with him is short - in a few years, he'll be gone and I will never have this time again. 

I saw two cool Barbie toys for my little ones.  One was a stand up shower and sink, and the other was a kitchen set.  I thought they'd be perfect for the girls.  I went to the register to pay, and BOTH toys popped up as unable to be sold.  There were recalls on them.  How scary is that?  At least Target has the smarts to have their inventory connected in such a way that if a recalled toy is on the shelves, the register codes and it won't go out the door.  As disappointed as I was not to be able to bring those toys home, it would have been far worse if I'd had to toss them tomorrow or the next day. 

So, good holiday for you, or not so good?  What was your favorite gift?

Raise Your Hands

If you got your feelings hurt this Christmas. 

If you bought a gift for someone that you were so excited about, and they just didn't appreciate it, get it, or, worse yet, complained about it.

That?

That would be MY Christmas.

Edited to add:  It wasn't any of my kids.  For once.

The Best Christmas Gift Ever

Mine.  All Mine.  With just two bumper stickers.  13.1 and one for my martial arts studio.  With satellite radio and a dock for my iPod. 

Something I've wanted for ten years.

Two Winter Solstice Babies

Thirteen years ago, on December 22, my first winter solstice baby was born. My first daughter, my second child.  Allegra. 

Nine years later, my second winter solstice baby was born.  My fourth daughter, my sixth child.  Riley.

What are the odds that I would have two children, nine years apart, born on the shortest day of the year, the first day of Winter?  Apparently, pretty good. 

Allegra is a soccer playing, book reading, telephone talking, manicure loving, clothing obsessed typical teenager in every sense of the word.

Riley is a dress up loving, puzzle obsessed, orange juice drinking mystery half of the time. 

I try, as much as I can, to give them separate birthday celebrations.  This year, they wanted to share a party and they both wanted a swimming party. Kind of hard to do in December, at least in this part of the world.  My mother, who belongs to the Y, graciously asked if we could throw a party there, and so we did.  A pool party in December.  It was awesome. Having a birthday at Christmas time is tough - we do everything we can to make sure that we give these two the same type of celebration that we do other birthdays at calmer times. 

Happy birthday, sweet girls. You are both so different, and both so special. 

Meme O'The Day

Whew.  That was a heavy post.  With nods to Kalisah, let's lighten it up a bit with a meme from her place.  I'm always up for a good meme.  Cuz, you know, it's all about me.


1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Completed a half marathon.  Took up Capoeira. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I actually didn't make one, but I am proud of my ability to keep the resolution of two years ago still going strong.  This year? Hmm.  I don't know.  Maybe I'll resolve to stay sane.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.  A few friends did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, although my mom's best friend died last week.

5. What countries did you visit?
CANADA.  Nassau, Grand Cayman, whatever island it is that Carnival Cruise lines owns.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Energy. Self worth.  Money.  A housekeeper.  My mind.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Labor day, when I tore my IT band and completed a half marathon.  October 29th, when I broke my toe. Why are both of those injury days?

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being featured in Real Simple Magazine.  Speaking at Blogher on the topic of Passion for Fitness.  Completing the half. (I think I should stop saying that, but it fits so many categories!)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Geez, do we have to discuss this AGAIN???

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
See above. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I can show you tomorrow.... 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I like to think mine, although it might have to be my family, as they dealt with me working for the first time in 15 years.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine, on occasion.  My kids, some days.  Other drivers, lots of days. 

14. Where did most of your money go?
I have no idea. Seriously. Groceries, gas, bills, private school tuition for six.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Blogher in Chicago, speaking there.  Running the half.  Taking The Hubster out to dinner and a pro tennis match as a surprise for our anniversary.  Tentatively sold an article to Catholic Faith and Family magazine. 

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Huh.  I have no idea.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) about the same; b) thinner; c) poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleep.  Relax.  Make more money.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Laundry. Dishes. Pay Bills.  Argue.  Be stressed.  But I don't see any way around any of those. 

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Quietly I hope, at home with just the family

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Still am.

22. How many one-night stands?
None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
The Biggest Loser.  Heroes, until I had to miss it for Capoeira and now have no idea what is going on.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

25. What was the best book you read?
Probably my perennial re reads of the Outlander series.  Man, do I love that set of books.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
??

27. What did you want and get?
Show you this weekend...

28. What did you want and not get?
A maid.  A housekeeper.  Barring that, a self cleaning house and a bigger bank balance.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Bella.  Certainly and definitely Bella.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Had a cake and chocolate dipped strawberries at work, went out for Mexican, and took capoeira class. 

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Finishing writing my book and having it published.  Hopefully, next year.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
"Does my ass look fat in this?"  I'm leaving Kalisah's answer because it ROCKS my world.

33. What kept you sane?
Good friends, coffee, capoeira class, running, working with my trainer.  Talking things over with The Hubster.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Um, I SO don't follow this stuff.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare in America.  It is criminal what we pay, although I know we are lucky to have health care coverage.

36. Who did you miss?

Seriously?  You all should know the answer to this one.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Meeting Jillian Michaels and being able to seriously dish with her, and email a few times after, really rocked my socks off.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Keep your mouth closed.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Que sera, sera.

Knitting 101

When I was a kid, my mom gave me a latch hook rug kit.  At least I think she gave it to me - my brain is a little bit fuzzy.  I started off like gangbusters and gave up after about a dozen rows.  I did a bit off and on, promising it to my aunt when she had a baby and then again when her next baby came.  Finally, my mother grew tired of hearing me and gave the rug to a patient, who finished it in a few days and I sent it to my aunt.

About three years ago, I was reading a magazine in September and came across the coolest looking scarf. There were instructions on how to knit if you were a very beginner, and the pattern illustrated claimed to be especially simple. I had the GREATEST idea. I would knit myself a scarf and one for my mother and my sister.   They would be great Christmas gifts.  They were 8 feet long colorblock scarves, and I bought really amazing yarn.  It was muted shades of browns and grays.  I bough needles and all of the equipment needed, and I started.

Boy, did I suck at knitting.  I tried and tried, but I could NOT get it.  I asked everyone I know if they knew how to knit.  If they said yes, I'd hound them mercilessly to show me.  I could NOT get it.  After about 5 rows, I gave up.  I paid my good friend Alana to knit the three scarves for me.  She did it in a week and sent all three back to me in time for Christmas.

I still use the scarf.  My mother still uses hers. I'm not certain about my sister.  She hasn't spoken to me since April of last year, when she discovered my blog.  Back, two years before that and moving forward, I'd had a password on this site and used it to vent, as most of us do. When I took off the password, I forgot about the unfavorable comments I'd made.  My two sisters were livid about things that they'd read and vowed never to speak to me again.  And they haven't.  Although they still read here. I have apologized to both, taken everything off my site that could be related to them in any way.  I tried to explain that I'm a writer, writing is what I do, and I didn't do any thing that all of us have done - complain about their families.  Those who are closest to us bug us the most and we spout off about it.  They never bought it. I asked for forgiveness.  Ugly words passed and then, boom.  Silence.

Huh.  I didn't plan to write that here. I wanted to write a lighthearted story about knitting.  I can't stop thinking about it, though.  There's more to the story that I can't put here.  Like every story, there are twists and curves that come up when you least expect it. 

I found out what it feels like to find a site and read horrible stuff about you.  So I guess you could say that I've had a taste of my own bitter, bitter medicine.  I didn't even know it existed until someone emailed me to apologize for taking part in it.  My son found it after that and shared it with me.  So, those of you who continue to come here and try to take me down, rest easy and know that I've already been punished enough.  Your continuing to berate me and leave comments about how stupid I am and all of the unfavorable remarks - enough.  There is no need to take sides. 

I love my scarf.  I hope my sister does too.  It's a good, warm scarf, perfect for this time of year.