Body Image and 3 things

Reading over at Chantal's place, I was saddened and at the same time heartened to read of her struggles with body image.  Saddened because she's really struggled, and heartened because I have felt the same way.  Body image is a hard, sad thing.  I hate how women struggle with their bodies, how much weight plays into the way we feel about ourselves, how our hair can make or break a day, how we feel that we are "bad" people if we eat an extra piece of bread.

She writes: 

Having said all this, when you get right down to it, I just have to get back to the place I was before. Yes, there are scars from four pregnancies with four above-average to monstrously sized children. Yes, I have natural curves and will never be stick-thin. Yes, I have an ass and yes, I have boobs. I like both of them.

I was wondering how to make myself feel better, and besides continuing on this same course, the only thing I can do is to be honest. To spell it out for anyone who will listen.

Other than the fact that I have had six normal size kids and no scars from their births, I can pretty much say I agree 1000% with this. 

I am 5 feet 6 inches tall.  This morning, I weighed 131 pounds.  I have dark brown hair, very thick and wavy - a fact that I try to blow out just about every morning.  I have big, green eyes with dark eyelashes.  I have very muscular legs and I'm slowly building my arms.  One day, I'll have really great arms.  My body successfully carried and nursed six children.  I have been happy with the fact that I lost 80 pounds.  Even though I have gained back 2.  (Hey, I didn't say I was thrilled...)

Like Chantal writes, these are the things I like.  There are lots of other things I don't like - the girls don't stay where they belong (sorry, guys, a little TMI), I still feel like I'm heavier than I'd like, I'm not thrilled with my hair, I have stretch marks and my eyelids are starting to droop a bit, unless I walk around with a permanent state of amazement and lifted eyebrows.  I'm going to try to stop thinking about those things, and focus on the things that I like.  Why do we always focus on the negative? We all need to eliminate the negative thinking and think POSITIVE.

SO, your turn. I want each of you to tell me three things - or more, if you want - that you really like about your body.

And DON'T make me feel like I did a bad thing, being so honest.

Comments

[Chantal]

Big thank you for spreading the word ... I love your list.

[Petra]

Hi,
While I don't comment a lot, I do always read your blog. And today's is just what I needed! I lost 65 pounds ten years ago, put 20 back on and lost those again a few years ago. And now it's slowly creeping back up :(. Old age, I attribute it to and I see similar things to the ones you described. But, positives:

1. my body is well conditioned, as I exercise almost daily, so I have great stamina.

2. No matter what, my legs are long and lean (the weight goes up top).

3. I like my eyes, they have a cool teal color.

It's never easy to write about one's body, be it positive or negative, kudo's to you!

[Anna]

1. I love my legs. I've gotten compliments on them over the years.
2. I think my hands are pretty. I have nice nails, usually, too.
3. I think I'm stumped.

[margalit]

I like my hair, despite the fact that is is wavy, frizzy and pink. Oh, and thinning. But I still like it a lot.

I like my toes. I have the cutest little toes you've ever seen. They are TINY. They only bend one way because they're so small. But they're very very cute.

I love my butt. Or my lack of a butt. I have nothing in the trunk at all. Some people have issues with being so flatassed, but I like it. It kind of cracks me up.

[Justine]

I like that I have no wrinkles :o) I look at photos of people I've grown up with, my age or younger.... and they ALL look wrinkly and old!! It's all perspective :o)

[Lyz Jost]

What a cool post! Another issue is that so often if we DO say what we like about ourselves, we are told or at least FEEL like we are being vain.

I like my eyes & lashes. Mascara is totally optional, and they are really long. And I passed them on to my daughter!

I like my little boobs. I don't have to worry about showing cleavage, and I'll always look slimmer.

My nails grow nicely - too fast, actually.

So there! And I don't feel bad about it, either!

[Donna]

Hey, Carmen -- I'm in the process of losing my extra weight, too (48 down and counting)... so my list might be different in a few more months:

1. I like my skin -- like a previous poster, I think I've aged pretty well for my 50+ years

2. I like my "girls." I didn't appreciate them when I was young (too small, I thought). But now that I'm middle aged, I think they're not bad -- and I'm glad I never did anything to change them surgically.

3. I like having my old, pre-mom body back and how it's starting to feel with my new work-out regimen. Fingers crossed that I can keep it up.

[Mama Snyder]

My daughter told me last night that she loves my boobs. I have to admit, I like them, too.
I love my shoulders, and I think they make me look sexy and strong.

[Emily C]

I weigh 123.6 (I went and weighed myself for the first time since before Thanksgiving--and I held steady!)

I have a really awesome facial profile. My nose? I couldn't pay for a nose this gorgeous.

I have slender, delicate, and lovely hands. Except when I do too many dishes without rubber gloves in winter. Then they're slender, delicate, cracked and dry hands. But that's why I put on cream and wear rubber gloves :-)

[Tammy/Photography for Fun]

Hmmm....self image....something I've struggled with all my life. I think all women probably do. Funny this is your post tonight as this has been on mind a lot lately (probably because of the fact my age is bothering me), and the subject of conversation with my friends and me recently.

3 things huh? That's a tough one but here goes...

1) although I don't like my size (I'm thin and have always been teased horribly for it), I guess I do like that I'm still the same size I was in high school and I'm getting close to 40.

2) I finally like my hair for the first time...ever.

3) My fingernails. I've always been able to keep my nails long and looking nice. (Of course family members claim the only way I can do that is not to work! ha!)

This was tough Carmen!

[Vanessa]

Carmen, this is hard!
1) I have long eyelashes.
2) I think I have nice skin even if it is showing some wrinkles.

Thats all I can come up with.

[CharmingDriver]

Great post, Carmen. Seriously.

I like my eyes - they are green-hazel-gray with a cooper ring - pretty awesome, right.

I like my hair - long or short it's thick and fabulous with little to no effort.

I have an ass that won't quit - much junk in the trunk and I think it works for me.

[Brandy]

I've struggled with body image since I was a teen. And am still struggling. But, there are 3 things I like about my body.
I like my eyes. They are the color of denim and sometimes grey.
I like my skin, no wrinkles, no marks and ivory.
I like my hair. The color has been likened to my name. There are highlights. Nature made.

That's about it. *G*

[amy]

What do I like? Does it have to be something we see?

I like my eyes

I like my hair and the fact that I can change the color and style at random

I like my body. I love what I am able to do to change it as I am now with diet and exercise. I love when it changed with the growth of pregnancy and ripeness of birth. I love that it works.

Has anyone seen that new show on Lifetime with Carson Cresley? How to Look Good Naked
It's all about body image and much harder we are on ourselves and our perception of what other people see. In the 2 episodes I've seen he's proven both women totally wrong! LOVE THAT. You can see full episodes that have aired on the website if you're interested.

[Jennifer]

What do I like about me?

1. My smile. After hemming and hawing for years, I finally bit the bullet and got braces a few years ago. And that was no fun. Food stuck in teeth, rubber bands, cuts in mouth. But the outcome? Worth every cent and more.

2. Flat stomach, even after four children.

3. Shapely calves and arms.

[wookie]

My hair is soft, silky, a gorgeous aburn and gloriously thick.

I have excellent teeth with very little work ever done to them.

My weight is steady.

[Charlise]

It would be SO MUCH EASIER to list 3 things I hate about my body. That is sad.

I like my dark, dark eyes.

I like that I have semi-dark (greek) skin. It tans and does not burn. It is a bit oily, but that has meant that I don't really have any wrinkles yet.

I like my "girls" - they are medically enhanced, but the are nice.

[FishyGirl]

This is easier for me now, at 37, that it would have been even just a few years ago, because I've been working on my attitude towards myself and how, even though there are things I don't like about myself and my body, it doesn't mean I am a bad person. So:

1. I like my eyes - they are hazel and they change with my clothes, mood, seasons. That's cool.

2. I have a great smile - my husband says it's one of the first things that attracted him to me. I love to laugh and have a great sense of humor to go along with it.

3. My hair is currently in a fantastic state of manageability, and the silver hairs starting to appear are thin and fine and look just like silver thread woven in.

4. My body may be round and curvy and flabby, but it's hosted four big healthy kids and that's hard work. I have nursed them all and my body is still nourishing my youngest, and that's an awesome thing.

5. I am flexible and don't think twice about popping down on the floor to change or play with the kids and popping back up again - I don't need help to get up and down and I can stretch and bend around as needed while I'm down there (great right now because Nemo is in that boy-wiggle-around-and-grab-himself-during-diaper-changes stage).

That's enough. Thanks for reminding me to be mindful of these things, Carmen.

[Heather]

After loosing a hundred pounds:
NEGATIVES..
*My round rear is now saggy
*my thighs sag too..
*my arms are flabby and wrinkly..

I Feel like there should be positives too:
*I can wear normal sizes.. mostly small.. at my smallest as a teenager I was a 12..
*I ran a 5k

[Jenny]

Good one, Carmen!

I like my butt (and I cannot lie)
I have been enjoying my hair this year
I like the fact that I'm pretty muscular

:)

[Katie]

I love my hair colour.
and having taken advice from a flat mate apparently I have killer boobs and bum.
Thanks because it's all too easy to forget that I have attractive parts at the moment.

[Tiff]

I have a great smile, and a contagious full-bodied laugh. With a sense of humor to back it up.

Good hair, it is naturally curly/wavy and looks good with little effort.

I have great skin and pretty complexion(sp?) I am 33 and just started wearing foundation at Christmas. Bare Minerals, I love it!

Those are 3 things I love about my appearance, I am working on my body matching the face. The body is a hot mess, I am the chubby/fat girl with a pretty face. I am however thankful for the fact that my body was strong and healthy enough to bring 3 beautiful children into the world. I am working on loving the body! Thanks for helping to remember to love and accept myself. Why is this so hard for us?

[Melene]

I love my strawberry blonde hair and the fact that I've never done anything to the color-except spend time outdoors which highlights it naturally!

I like the color of my eyes-very blue.

I like my small nose and the shape of it.

And I like my brain and the fact that I have common sense and a good memory-most of the time!

[Jenn]

i like my hair- i have really long blond/brown hair.
i like my chest.
i can's say i really "like" anything else. I don't hate it...
I like myself as a person. I am trying to lose weight but I don't know!

[Rebecca]

I really like my breasts. Sure, they're not quite as perky as they used to be but they still look pretty darn good. Plus, they have served their utilitarian purpose really nicely and nursed 5 great kids :P

I like that although I'm very short,I have a voluptuous figure. f I didn't have the curves I do,I'd probably get mistaken for a 12 year old more often.

My face is very young looking. This used to be very annoying to me when I was 28 and still getting offered kids menus at restaurants but last year one of my teenage son's baseball teamamtes thought I was his sister and THAT was a great feeling!