Gah
The hardest thing about working so much with so many kids is the reality that I can never get it all done. I know lots of people who work full time, lots of people who work part time, lots of people with kids, and a few with a lot of kids. But, at the risk of making this all about "poor, poor me", holy crap am I tired of trying to get it all done and be all for everyone. I'm not kidding when I say that the to do list is longer than my arm. NOT that I'm saying that ANY of you don't have it hard - we all do. Life is stressy for all of us. I just feel like I'm in a pressure cooker of (somewhat) my own making right now.
Seriously, it made me deliriously happy when I came home from work today - actually, a trip to the doctor right after work for one kid meant that I wasn't home until after 5 - and I saw that The Hubster had cleaned the kitchen. The rest of the house was totally trashed, papers and toys and coats and hats strewn all around, but the kitchen was CLEAN. Have you ever looked around at everything that needed to be done and wanted to sit down and either a) cry or b) go to sleep for an entire day? I was on the elliptical this morning at 5:30 and my trainer said, "What is wrong with you? I've never seen you dragging like this!"
Yup, it's so not pretty to be me right now.
Let's see - my one kid has a field trip tomorrow and the field trip shirt is GONE. I know it was there and it's just vanished. My book proposal languishes on my desktop, I have to do taxes by the end of the month to apply for financial aid, I'm back to buying groceries piecemeal and too frequently, and as a result spending way too much money. Laundry is clean but not folded and sleeps on the sofa. My feet are scaly and the toenails are in SERIOUS need of polish remover. I have GREAT gray coming in right down the middle of my head and no time to color it. I haven't slept in four nights - no special reason, but I keep waking up over 10 times a night. I filled up the gas tank in my jeep, and the 15 gallon tank took 14.97 gallons - talk about waiting until the last minute.This weekend includes a science fair project, another project, helping my son study, soccer games, dinner out at church (yay!), and about 72 other piddly things.
Stress. It'll get me every time. What's stressing you out?
___________________
New post up at Zwaggle - come on over and give me some love!
EVERYTHING stresses me out. EVERYTHING! 4 kids, housework, dinners, work, blah blah blah - you name it, it freaks me the hell out...
Posted by: Charlise | January 24, 2008 at 10:15 PM
Where do I start? The fact that I may or may not still have a job this time next month? Or that my clients are all a bunch of whiny, high maintenance asshats? Or perhaps that I'm expected to KISS THEIR ASS on a regular basis in order to protect my job?
How 'bout that we made too much $$ last year to qualify for the big tax rebate, all of which will be a moot point when I lose my job next month???
GAH is right.
Posted by: kalisah | January 24, 2008 at 10:25 PM
It's the full moon keeping you up - I haven't slept at all this week and I.am.exhausted.
Posted by: CharmingDriver | January 24, 2008 at 10:26 PM
My car was stolen this morning and I couldnt take my son to school. That's whats stressing me out.
Posted by: jessie | January 24, 2008 at 11:03 PM
I was getting pretty stressed out about finances and the catastrophe my house has become, let alone the fact I have a 16 year old daughter with major attitude. But my husband has been off work the last couple of days due to the weather and has been home cleaning house and putting away Christmas things I had boxed up but not put away. Knowing all this is going to give me some free time Saturday is relieving the stress a bit already!
Posted by: Tammy | January 24, 2008 at 11:15 PM
DUDE. I feel your pain. What's stressing me out? There's a conditional offer on our house which is great, but the condition is that the buyers need to sell their house. The kicker? They have until Feb 8th. They want the closing to be Feb 29th. Can't move on March 1st - has to be before - IF we are moving. Can't move Feb 23rd - wedding stuff for family. Yup - must find and secure rental house by Feb 16th (new house not ready until July) - IF we are moving. GAH!
Oh oh! This house has to stay clean for showings still b/c it's still on the market due to this conditional offer. Uh huh. Wanna come over?
Posted by: Karen Sugarpants | January 24, 2008 at 11:34 PM
Can you put a sign on your shirt-losing kid, saying, "Cleverly disguised as a kid wearing a field trip shirt"?
Good for the Hubster. Maybe you could just pull an easy chair into the clean kitchen, and relax with a cup of tea...
Posted by: Liz in Seattle | January 24, 2008 at 11:46 PM
Oh my gosh, reading about your life stresses me out! It's no wonder you can't sleep at night; your mind can't relax enough to sleep. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Posted by: Stacy | January 24, 2008 at 11:49 PM
What is my stress for today?
My husband is unemployed and has been for over 2mos.
Unemployment benefits just barely started. He interviews every single day. Sends out hundreds of resumes. We need to really stay in the area because we need our Childrens hospital. We would end up traveling back since there is one Dr who deals only with the very rare condition Sean has.
I have lost insurance for my severely chronically ill child, who can't miss ANY dr appts.
I have a rogue CubMaster who refuses to follow Boy Scouts of America guidelines and policies, endangering 20 some boys. I was left out of the loop when two packs were combined and I am the Den leader. Even our Unit Commissioner was not let in on the deal. We don't volunteer in our church for Cub Scouts. we are asked by our Leaders to do it.
My teenage son is angry about us being penniless and we can't afford for him to drive. He works, but doesn't make enough to pay for rent/food/insurance.
It has been raining for days.
I have tooth that needs to be pulled as it is broken. I can't afford to go.
My husband and I are trying to decide if we should stay married.
Can't make a car payment.
Can't make the rent that was increased.
Can't afford the utility bill despite walking around in the Dark.
Everyone tells us to keep the faith. If my husband doesn't have a job on Monday, I am leaving with the boys.
We live in a very wealthy area.
I want to cry.
Posted by: Shelly | January 25, 2008 at 12:36 AM
OMG, next to Shelly's, my troubles seem so lame. Even next to yours, Carmen.
But I'm still stressing out, yeah. My eldest kid (7yo) got atypical pneumonia and was only diagnosed on Monday (incubation perido can be 4 weeks!). The good thing about atypical pneumonia is that it is mild and he's back to school after the first 48 hours on strong antibiotics. The bad thing is that the severe cough - oh, the cough! - is due to last at least 4 more weeks. My other children have the flu and the younger one (not yet 3) is in a very sorry state. I'm scared he'll get AP, even if the statistics say it doesn't affect children under 5. My husband is fretting and stressing about much more than me though, and that's what's really killing me. Sometimes he makes me think I'm a negligent mother - which I know I'm not - just because I'm not on the phone every single day with the Dr.
Also, I have just been offered a very good deal on the translation of a book (I'm a translator) and I'm stressed because I have so many odd assignements to hand in before the book deadline and I'm afraid I won't be able to follow the deadline and the work will suffer for it. I'm a SAHM working during nap times and at night but with the kids sick, all that time alone has gone, and every single hour is crucial...
OK, gotta go get some snack for the houseridden.
Marta from Lisbon
Posted by: marta | January 25, 2008 at 07:13 AM
Oh I soooo hear ya sistah!
On top of working full time and parenting crap my shop is moving to a new location next month.
Which means...I have find time to finish up all the year end crappola (reconciliation, budgets, sales figures, inventory, etc)
PLUS do all the same estimates for the new space
PLUS purchase all the product for the new space
PLUS work the sales floor now to keep payroll dollars down (which means I'm not at my desk able to do any of the above)
PLUS find, hire & train new staff to work at one or both of the locations until we shut down the current one. And if I don't get anyone hired/trained means I can't be in the new spot setting up.
And my house is mess. Seriously the dust bunnies are packing up to leave. We've got a case of the snuggelies passing through my house which means kids are taking turns getting sick, staying home, dr visits. Hannah is behind now 2 payments by me for her Washington DC trip in the spring....
I seriously need clothes that fit because I loathe wearing jeans to work but those are my only pants right now and I've got 4 shirts in continuous rotation.
Last night I stayed at work until 10:30 (we closed at 8) so I could have some desk time to just cross some crap off my list and today I'm heading in 3 hours early to do the same (which means I'm NOT going to the gym today which really makes me sad)
So you're not alone. It's just a different juggle from when they were infants/toddlers. But some way some how we do get it all done and actually make it appear effortless.
Posted by: amy | January 25, 2008 at 08:01 AM
Okay after reading through everyone else's stresses, I think I'm really alright. Just a little crampy because it's that time of the month.
Posted by: Katie | January 25, 2008 at 08:08 AM
Hi, Carmen. I've been visiting your blog for a couple of weeks now, and I must say, I'm hooked! Let's see...I don't have children yet, but I grew up in a Catholic family with six kids (my parents both worked for the church so we spent half our lives unlocking doors, putting tables up, helping the Knight's of Columbus, etc., etc.). SO, I completely understand HOW MUCH happens each and every day. Stress for me right now: launching software at work that I've been working on for two years. What if it doesn't go well? What if everyone hates me? Ack!!!
Posted by: peanut | January 25, 2008 at 09:53 AM
Oh, mine are so mild next to everyone else's, but, House Hunting. In the DC area, where we need a single-family house and can't afford one. Plus factor in the picky husband who wants a 1990's square-footage and space (big bedrooms) house, but, built in the 50s, so well built and cheaper and...full of lead. Think a 2X4 would provide the dose of reality he needs?
Don't answer that.
Posted by: FishyGirl | January 25, 2008 at 09:59 AM
All three kids are sick and have been for about a week. I am getting sick. Two of the three kids decided to add pink eye to their problems this morning and one has a double ear infection with blisters on his left eardrum.We found this out after he wouldn't sleep 2 nights ago and beat the crap out of both of us (even punching my hubby in the eye- HARD). Tired of not being able to pay my bills and nothing I can do to make it better.
Posted by: Jenn | January 25, 2008 at 10:18 AM
My stresses are of my own making, that's for sure. I don't have time for my own life. I spend it driving kids all over tarnation, and I'm constantly battling with the clock. And for a specific stress, we are having all of our windows in our house replaced. So no window treatments, people in and out, hammering here, on ladders outside. This morning one of the guys was on a ladder outside our bedroom window. I had to take all my clothes, deoderant and quickly take a shower and get dressed all the while hoping and praying that my five year old wouldn't come searching for me and open the bathroom door. I know it's not a big stress (compared to others) but I don't like my house being invaded by strangers. It really shakes me to the core.
Posted by: Jennifer | January 25, 2008 at 10:22 AM
I planned to leave a post with my stresses, which lately have made me feel awful. But after reading about the real stresses some people are having... I decided I was fine. Instead, I'll pray for the people who need jobs, homes and help for their unhealthy children, and I will be grateful that my children are at least home and healthy, and that I have a roof over my head and a car to drive, Hubby has a job and we have food on the table. Thanks for the perspective though!
Posted by: Mama Bear | January 25, 2008 at 10:33 AM
I'm with Mama Bear-many hugs and prayers for all of you under such huge stress.
Posted by: Kendra | January 25, 2008 at 11:26 AM
Well, I was going to post about my stresses, which are stressful to me, but after reading Shelly's and some others I decided not to list mine. They seem so trivial compared to others. I will say a prayer for everyone. Life is tough these days. CHins up!
Posted by: Southernbelle | January 25, 2008 at 11:27 AM
Many kudos to the hubster for helping you out with the kitchen. Sometimes thats all you need for a pick me up is a little empathy from the significant other in your life.
My stresses are minor you I'll just sympathize with yours. Keep the faith! You are doing great!
Posted by: Jen | January 25, 2008 at 11:57 AM
Goodness! I am tired just reading your list! My mom keeps telling me I will miss the busy-ness when it is gone but I sure could use a couple of days without it!
Posted by: Kari | January 25, 2008 at 12:00 PM
my body is going to h*** with the stress.
glad I'm not the only one ignoring books and other things, and barely coasting through life.
Posted by: rachel | January 25, 2008 at 02:40 PM
ack, it posted before the second half...
melatonin helps me sleep, maybe it would help you, too? Hope things get easier soon.
Posted by: rachel | January 25, 2008 at 02:41 PM
Oh my gosh! This sounds exactly like me (I would love to have a few minutes to clip my toenails, and my socks keep getting caught on my scaly heels) Anyway, I only have one kid....how do you people with more than 1 get it all done?? You amaze me. I'm stressed today b/c my daughter has a UTI, the laundry pile is growing by the minute, and I'm completely behind at work.
Posted by: Vicky | January 25, 2008 at 06:41 PM
I am so with you on the toe nails thing. My purple polish has been on there since...Thanksgiving and it's nasty chipped and almost gone! My stress level is high right now. I have foster kids four of them and one is in a screaming phase. It literally takes nothing to set him off. And once he goes there's no way to stop him. If he's not screaming he's peeing all over his stuff...urgh the piles of laundry are immense here. And no DR ,Psychiatrist, or any one else seems to be able to get him to stop.
Posted by: ttlyeightmom | January 25, 2008 at 11:52 PM