How well would your spouse do?

I know that you have probably seen this before, but it struck a chord with me today.  I know that my husband would do fairly well, but he'd struggle a good deal.  In fact, when I leave the kids with him and go away - for example, to Blogher - he's so cranky when I return.  He appreciates me more (for about a week, but hey...)  The rule of NO FAST  FOOD would be the ultimate test for him.

Please note: this is all in jest.  Do not email me telling me how stupendously your spouse - or you, if you are a guy, would do.  It's a JOKE.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

        Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids
each for six weeks.  Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance
classes.

        There is no fast food.

        Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house
clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook,
do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

        In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries
each week.

        Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and
relatives, and send cards out on time.

        Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a
dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

        He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to
the Urgent Care.

        He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

        Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned
house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

        The men will only have access to television when the kids are
asleep and all chores are done.

        The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself
with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails
polished and eyebrows groomed.

        During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have  extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

        They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time
at; least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

        They will need to read a book and then pray with the children
each night and in the morning, feed them, dress  them, brush their
teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

        A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each
father will be required to know all of the following information: each
child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. 

        Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and
length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name,
favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest
fear and what they want to be when  they grow up.

        The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last
man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with
his spouse at a moment's notice.

        If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and
over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

Comments

[Jen]

Hmm, most days I think I'd be the one voted off the island! LOL. My hubby fails some of these sure, but he's a huge help in others. You go Daddy! :o)

[Shelly]

While my hubby might do some of that, he would do it only after he took care of himself and then maybe take care of the boys. We did do this one year while one son was in the hospital. We just about divorced.

[Lisa]

That is TOO funny!

[Katie]

My husband would be the first off the island.

[Tammy]

Now this is a premise for Survivor that would be FUNNY!!!!

[Maddy]

To be honest, this is far too much of a nightmare to imagine, for him or me!
Cheers

[Annika]

Never mind my husband, I'd never make it!

[Amy S.]

This should be a real show. It would be funny. Add a full-time job to all of this and call it "The Ultimate Survivor."

[LeeAnn]

Dream on!

[Anna]

Honestly, that made me smile- at myself. It felt like a pat on the back for all that I do.
Thanks.

[wookie]

I'd fail a bunch of those things. I don't remember their lengths at birth, their favourite toy changes daily,nor do I shave my legs, wear makeup or adorn myself with any sense of style.
I'm currently out of most auxillary groceries (ie- beyond milk, bread and eggs), and have a "thrilling" migraine and would be about as initmate as a PMSing wolverine right now.

I guess I fail the mom test. Oh, is this not supposed to make me feel inadequate?

[Kendra]

After being out of town for 2 days last week my hubby said-"I vaguely remember doing the single dad thing. I like it much better when you're around." He did ok, but if I'd added do laundry, a dr. appt. or 2,etc, it might have been a different story.

[FENICLE]

My husband can survive without me, but he would NEVER complete that list. I remind him of birthday's & I send out the cards...otherwise he would never speak to his family.

[amy]

My husband has no clue about any of the things you wrote about. He would be off the island in no time flat, and the kids are now 19 and 16. I often prayed I would live until the kids were at least teenagers because I knew that if he were to end up without me, the kids might end up dead too. I am not joking either. However he is an awesome provider and funny too so I am going to keep him!

[Crissi]

you crack me up!! HA HA HA!! but isnt that the truth. Thanks for the smiles, i needed it today is gonna be a rough one. :)

[amy]

I'll let you know next month after I get back from Vegas & San Antonio!
So far he hasn't spoken to his boss about his kiddo juggle (what time daycare opens and closes) I've already emailed Tess' guitar teacher to move her lesson days from Tuesdays to maybe Saturday during those 8 days I'll be gone because I know she wouldn't get there otherwise. I've also made arrangements for my kids to get to/from religious ed while I'm away.
And talk about pissy? I took 2 of the 4 with me to the mall today to shop because I needed smaller clothes and Hannah had some gift cards burning a hole in her pocket. Came home some 5 hours later WITH Chinese food and he still had attitude @@
Maybe I'll just stay in TX and avoid that day all together.

[Sandy]

You forgot to add and work a 40 hour week. Most of us do all of the above with a full time job!