Posted from my bed, cuz that's where I've been and that's where I'll continue to be.
Let's skip through going to the hospital, getting changed, iv'ed, gowned and hairnetted. Let's get to the part where I'm laying on the gurney, feeling like I'm going to puke.
That was a fun part. See, I have coffee in the mornings, about 5:30. Here it was 11 and I had developed a full blown migraine. I asked each nurse that came in the room - and there were a ton of them - if I could just have something. "No, nothing until Dr. B gets here." Well, when will that be?" "Oh, soon. You'll know when she gets here - you can hear her coming down the hall."
Pretty soon, I heard just that. The most amazingly energetic voice greeting everyone she came in contact with. She breezed down the hall and opened my door with the words, "Showtime!" She could tell right away that I wasn't doing well and she agreed that as soon as she'd finished with my pre-op, I'd get some meds. She took her marker and drew a big circle on my hernia, with the words, "hernia here" and then added, "not for long!". She asked if I had any questions, and I did, but my head hurt too badly to ask them so I just said no. Due to my extensive list of allergies to medicine, we debated the pain relief thought for after surgery, and she decided it'd be darvocet. I did.not.care. I just wanted to stab myself in the head. So Dr. B asked a nurse to give me some Versed. Said nurse whipped the syringe out of her pocket, where she'd been holding out on me for hours. I was not impressed.
She injected it into my iv and a minute after, asked if I felt anything. "No," I grumped. I felt miserable and nervous and about to puke and I wanted everyone to know it. She lifted up the side bars on the gurney and chirped "It's time to go!" as she wheeled me into the hallway.
We made it out of my room and she asked again, "Are you sure you don't feel anything?"
"No," I snarled. (I was really hateful, but I think it was due to pain and fear. At least I hope it wasn't my normal self) "I feel awful."
And that was it. The curtain dropped - I must have passed out immediately after I uttered that line, because I don't remember a thing. Not transferring to the operating table, not breathing the specially selected scented oxygen - I didn't even get to experience the counting backwards from 100 that I was so looking forward to. I'm sure that everyone got a big kick out of laughing at me, falling asleep in mid snarl. No, the next thing I remember is yet another nurse saying, "Mrs. Masses, Mrs. Masses, it's time to wake up."
"Huh?" I am so brilliant.
"It's time to wake up, " she repeated patiently.
"I'm supposed to have surgery." I'm a killer with words.
"You already did. Here, we need you to drink this Coke."
"I can't drink Coke. I don't anymore - I lost 80 pounds and now I can't drink it."
"Mrs. Masses, you can and you will."
And I did. And then I went home and promptly got sick to my stomach, and I proceeded to upchuck everything I ate Friday and Saturday. But, here it is Sunday, and it's a new day, and I'm game to try!try!again!
Thanks so much for your kind wishes. They were almost as nice as the follow up call from my doctor, who said in her message, "I was calling to check on you and to tell you that YES! It WAS a hernia!"
As if there were any doubts.
I love my doctor.
Glad to hear everything turned out okay. But the whole no caffeine no nuthin' before surgery? Yeah... it sux. Glad you made it through and fwiw, I've never met anyone who came out of surgery gracefully. :)
Posted by: AJMick | May 18, 2008 at 11:15 AM
I hope you'll forgive me for giggling at your expense, but that was really funny. In any case, glad you're on the mend.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | May 18, 2008 at 12:16 PM
I'm so glad you're home safe! Rest and get well.
Posted by: Jenny | May 18, 2008 at 12:28 PM
Glad you made it through okay - hope the headache's gone by now. I remember when I had oral surgery years ago thinking "maybe I should tell them I'm not asleep yet" and then the surgery was over.
Posted by: Megan | May 18, 2008 at 01:09 PM
So glad you are OK...I hate surgical procedures of any type! Keep on resting.
Posted by: Jamie | May 18, 2008 at 01:35 PM
Praying for your speedy recovery!
Posted by: Headless Mom | May 18, 2008 at 02:15 PM
Wow. What a story. I'm glad its over, and you're recovering at home.
Posted by: Caren Story | May 18, 2008 at 04:25 PM
Sorry to hear that you were so ill. But, glad to hear the surgery went well. Rest up!
Posted by: Brandy | May 18, 2008 at 05:23 PM
HOPE YOUR FEELING BETTER!!!!!!
Posted by: LACEY | May 18, 2008 at 07:42 PM
You're home minus your hernia, that equals a result!
Posted by: DJ | May 18, 2008 at 08:13 PM
I'm so glad it went well and that you're doing better!
Prayers,
Michelle :)
Posted by: Michelle | May 18, 2008 at 08:29 PM
Hopefully you're getting some rest! Take it easy!! & glad it went well.
Posted by: Keri | May 18, 2008 at 11:21 PM
Oh, honey, I'm glad it went well. Now rest and TAKE IT EASY! Really.
Make the kids do their own damn laundry for a change. Even if they have to take it down to the river and beat it with rocks.
I hope you feel back to yourself quickly.
Posted by: FishyGirl | May 19, 2008 at 12:10 AM
Hate surgery and anesthesia. Hope you continue to feel better, and milk this for all it's worth!
Posted by: Mary | May 19, 2008 at 01:16 AM
oh, Carmen, you are a studette, fer sure! What a relief to have that less-than-happy dance over and done!
Des
Posted by: Des | May 19, 2008 at 09:07 AM
My prayers answered, you are doing well. I send love and light and other cool Santa Cruz CA stuff for your recovery and eventual bounce back.
In the meantime - COKE? The hell?! Was that to get caffeine moving around in your system, thus alleviating the migraine? Or, did you go to the Deep South where they put Coca Cola in the weirdest places (cake, chicken, hospital patients)?
xo
Posted by: GraceD | May 19, 2008 at 11:33 AM
Enjoy your relaxing time in Bed, because I know you'll be up and at it before no time! And believe it or not, a leaded Coke seems to be very good for fixing stomache problems. Don't know why, but it is good to see a Doctor that appreciates homeopathic remidies alongside the 'traditional' ones. Good luck on your recovery, I'll be watching from the middle east, and probably totally amazed at how fast you are back on your feet!!
Posted by: Nobody | May 19, 2008 at 11:41 AM
Oh, good grief! Stay there in bed and enjoy some good old day time tv. Only maybe not Ellen, because that may make you laugh too hard, and you might not be up for laughing right now.
Posted by: Paige | May 19, 2008 at 01:05 PM
I hate being "put under". Losing the time really bothers me. It's so different from sleeping. But I'm glad you are doing well enough to post. Take it easy please!
Posted by: Katie | May 19, 2008 at 03:31 PM
I love Versed :)
Hope you heal up quickly!
Posted by: Thumper | May 19, 2008 at 03:33 PM
I hope you feel better soon. I hate feeling under the weather but hopefully you'll be all better soon......here's to lots of rest.
Posted by: Jenn | May 19, 2008 at 05:29 PM
Glad you're home and feeling better. Too bad they didn't give you anything for the nausea before/during your surgery. Women are very prone to throwing up from the drugs and when I had my surgeries I had a woman anesthesiologist who took very good care of me....not that I felt like moving after surgery but I sure didn't feel like barfing. Take it easy.
Posted by: LeeAnn | May 19, 2008 at 07:33 PM
I'm glad it went well and I'm also kind of glad you got to drink a coke.
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | May 20, 2008 at 03:03 PM
Glad you are home.
Posted by: Sandra | May 20, 2008 at 05:43 PM
The same thing happened to me for hernia #1, they gaveme ginger ale, I said it's too sweet! they asked ifI ws diabetic, I said no I lost 65lbs and don't drink anything sugary, got any water? it didnt' work
Posted by: Kyooty | May 24, 2008 at 08:26 AM