My Interview - or Where I Take One For The Good of The Internet

I'm taking part in Neil's Great Interview Experiment, and I was tasked, believe it or not, with interviewing my good friend Shannon from Charming Bitch. I have NO idea how that happened - honest! I was just as surprised as you all! Here are my questions and her answers - remember, she's a bit more, uh, colorful than I typically am here, so don't read with your mom or your kids or your great Aunt Tildy - unless she's not easily offended. I'm not, and I adore Shannon. But you've been warned. :)

#1 - What made you get into trucking?

Well, I wrote about it somewhat in depth here but the long and short of it is this: I was doing something (phone sex operator) that allowed me to be at home and make a (really good) living while I was mired in the worst (post-divorce) depression in the history of the world. After 9/11 (explanation to the link to 9/11 in the aforementioned post), I knew I had to do something different but I absolutely could not face going back into an office and all the politics that go along with that atmosphere and somehow ''something different'' became going to truck driving school. I have been pretty lucky in life that most things I have tried I have taken to or learned relatively easily. I mean, I have two college degrees that I earned while working full-time and it still wasn't much effort, excepting the time factor. Trucking was not easy; I went to school literally everyday for 2 months. Log books, shifting, double clutching and navigation were easy but backing 70 foot of truck and trailer was not. It was the hardest thing I ever learned to do and I was incredibly satisfied when I mastered it. I can't do many things perfectly in this life but this I know: I can park a rig where you think only a VW bug would fit and I can parallel park any car, any truck, anywhere.

I was the only female in my class and that prepared me well for real world trucking where women are less than 5% of the three million truckers on the road. I have worked in many industries and nothing compares to the sexism faced by women in what has always been the manly world of trucking. No matter though, I love it dearly (the routing, the pay, the loads and back-hauls are all like a big algebra problem) and as that is how I met my husband, I cannot say I regret it.

#2 - You've been blogging for a while. How public are you with the blog in real life? Have you ever been burned by a person in your "real life" reading something on your blog you wish they hadn't?

I've always been open about it, mostly because it started more as a lark than anything else. I mean, I started it the summer of 2005 just prior to Katrina and when I look back at those first months, I am amazed at how much I have changed, how much my life has changed in that short passage of just three years (Katrina, marriage, pregnancy, birth and death of Jackson).

But to answer your question, yes I have always been open about the blog and that was a blessing during some of the rougher times; it was easy to keep family updated about Jackson without having to have the same painful, forced conversations over and over. I have never really been burned by real life people getting pissed over something they have read because it's rare that I would write something about a person or situation that I haven't said to them already. I have though, at times, regretted being so open about certain situations (infidelity, my sister's addiction) because in writing about your life, you invite both praise and criticism and sometimes, it's hard to hear the ''constructive'' in critique that is little more than, ''YOU SUCK!!'' On a brighter note though, D's mom (aka Drama Lovin Harlot) hates my blog like poison and that is all the reason I need to keep it up and open.

#3 - You are very candid and honest on your blog, blogging in great detail about Jackson, your struggle with MRSA, and your difficulties with your sister and also with D. Do you speak this candidly in real life, or are you much more circumspect?

In my mind, where I am perfect, I am more circumspect and less of an asshole. But the reality is that I am trying very hard to get back to the place where I think, hard, before I speak. That too can be difficult because people assume that you're zoning out or disconnecting when in reality I may just be taking a moment to say something more helpful than, ''Eat a dick, whore!''

More often than not, unfortunately, the EADW flourishes while the softer, more sincere, ''Honest. I want to help. What can I do?'' gets shouted down. Being candid has its merits (like with D's mom and my crack addled sister) but truthfully being less candid oftentimes means more helpful in the long run. All I can do is hope to find the right balance, eventually.

#4 - How do you feel about living so far away from your family? Can you ever live too close to family?

Well I think the fact that my entire family (parents, sister and her family, D and I) moved cross country (over the course of a year) from Mississippi to Washington following Katrina speaks volumes to how close we all are or more to the point were.

By that I mean to say that when we all planned to move here (I mean, D and I bought a house, sight unseen, before moving here), none of us knew my sister was addicted to crack and honestly, I would have never made the move had I known that both she and my brother in law were struggling with addiction. Not because I don't or didn't want to help but because it is impossible to legitimately ''help'' when your own life gets shredded in the process. I wish, so much, now that we could have just came in, got the kids and given them a break to get their lives straight, on their own. As it stands now, we have temporary custody of the kids, our families have all been irrevocably damaged emotionally and financially, they (sister and BIL) are still not doing the right thing and I see no end to the chaos.

So yes. You can definitely live too close and be too close to family. And I, personally, cannot wait to get back to Mississippi.

#5 - When no one else can see, do you dance naked in the kitchen, singing into your soup spoon?

Oh I don't just do it when no one else can see, I do it when the entire neighborhood can get in on the action (naked lady neighbor isn't easily lived down). That's right, bitches. I brought sexy back in a whole new lack of window treatments way.

But really when I sing (horribly and off-key) alone, it's almost always Johnny Cash (Jackson, Boy Named Sue) or (and I swear I will cry if you make fun of me) Captain and Tennille (Mostly the part of Love Will Keep Us Together where she is all, ''I WILL I WILL I WIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLL be there to share fo'evah''. And I use a hairbrush. Because I am klassy. And 12.

#6 - Pick one Blogger or author you think is overrated. Who is undiscovered and needs WAY more attention?

Pick one blogger that is over-rated? Just one? HEE! Lookit Carmen tempting me to start BlogWorld War IVXXXXV.

This question is the reason it took me so long to get back to you because of course my baser instincts immediately saw an opportunity to take a free shot at either a blogger or an author. I'm disappointed in myself that that was my first thought because that isn't what any creative community needs, kidney punches for the sake of it, when really it always comes back to a matter of personal taste and more importantly relatability.

I don't read what doesn't either interest me or engage me nor should anyone else and my own yardstick likely doesn't look like anyone else's so really other than grievous spelling or grammar issues which take away greatly from the reading experience, I wouldn't tell anyone who not to read. One man's trash is another's treasure and all that, right?

And while I won't tell you what not to read, I most assuredly will tell you what to read and that is Can I Sit With You the collaborative effort of Squid and Jenny Alice to raise money for their local Special Needs PTA. Read the blog, order the book, spread the bloggity love.

#7 - Have you ever been involved in an act of civil disobedience?

Well the officers didn't call it civil disobedience so much as, ''Public Drunk'' so if what you're asking is have I been arrested the answer is: YES. Civil disobedience also somehow implies selfless acts for the greater good and I can say for certain, anytime I ended up with handcuffs there wasn't an ounce of selflessness involved.

Most (ha! you will just have to wonder) were when I was under-age and over-drunk but (almost) all were harmless. Really the worst trouble I have gotten into as an adult was after Katrina when they were interviewing drivers at some of the cold storage facilities where supplies were being stored rather than delivered and my company (and the on site security) told us to stay away from the cameras and we (about 3 dozen drivers) disregarded them and got as much face time as possible to air our ids and outrage at the hapless mishandling of the whole operation. We all got into a lot of trouble personally because we were all over the Memphis news talking trash and we were all also subsequently sent to another storage facility in Selma, AL meaning the time we had already wasted waiting to be unloaded was for naught as we would go directly to the back of the line (of hundreds of trucks) in Selma. And still, nobody received the supplies.

There was another incident in Louisiana where Bush was to make an ''appearance'' at one of the huge shelters where we were unloading water and MREs. His ''people'' went around asking hundreds of truckers how they felt about Bush and how the feds ''handled'' Katrina; anyone even slightly negative was, literally, bussed off the property until Bush had came and went so anyone on camera was shown smiling and satisfied. Obviously, I hid in the warehouse so I couldn't give an opinion one way or the other but I crept around afterward to watch people smiling through gritted teeth because nothing other than grins would get their plight on the national news. Don't believe everything you see on the news, folks.

#8 - Who is/are your celebrity crush/es?

When I was a kid, my walls were covered and I do mean covered with Michael Jackson. I loved him so, so much and part of me just pities what he has (superficially) become because only a lifetime of hurt can create the (physical) monster he's purposefully turned himself into but at the same time I can think of nobody more deserving of living life as a freak because if, as an adult, even a damaged one, you can't see the wrong in sleeping with small boys, a freakish appearance will at least give parents a heads up that something is horribly awry.

#9 - What is the worst advice you have ever given?

Yikes! Where to begin? I think the worst advice I ever gave was to my own husband in telling him that keeping his mom in his life, outside of and away from me, was a good idea. It has backfired me in ways that I cannot even begin to explain. Much like dealing with an active addict never turns out well nor does trying to make nice with a confirmed sociopath. You can't make stupid smart and you cannot reason with the inherently illogical.

#10 - Who do you turn to for advice and inspiration?

My dad is not one, unlike my mom, to just give advice but I find that listening to his opinions is usually a pretty smart move. He is really, truly brilliant. The life that he came from (poorest of the poor in the rural south, from a broken family long before they were common) is miles from the life he created for himself and his family and speaks to his success not just in his career but as a man who wanted more for his own family.

Unless you're military minded, this won't mean a thing to you, but he made Chief in the Navy well before 30 and retired at just past 40 as an EQMC (and then worked an additional 15 years). He earned two degrees while serving active duty with a wife and two daughters. He is a well-decorated Vietnam Vet and just the life of his that I have experienced first hand is still nothing compared to the parts of his life that I have only just heard about in the re-telling of stories. His life path is an inspiration and the lessons he has learned and passed on are the best advice I've never (directly) got.

Comments

[Stephanie C.]

Well, Shannon is very interesting to me. I don't know anyone like her IRL, so I rather enjoyed reading her perspective on life. Thanks for the interview, Carmen.

[Daniel]

I love her! Thanks for pointing her out.

[Headless Mom]

Great interview, Carmen! I now can't wait to click through and read more. Shannon sounds fascinating.

[Kyooty]

good interview, I like that a lot. I Love the link to the nekkid neighbour. What is with people not leaving curtains! that happened here too

[Kathleen]

Great interview! I loved the civil disobedience question...and her answer. answers.

[Dianna]

That was a great interview! And what a great idea, I just went and signed up!

[Angela]

She's great! Thanks for posting this. Off to read more at her blog!

[CharmingDriver]

You guys! Thank you so much for being so kind; it really made my day. Thanks for reading and thanks too for clicking over to read more.

[Anne-Marie]

I found Shannon via one of my other (now defunct) blogs. She was a frequent visitor. It's been awhile since I visited her blog, so I'm thrilled that you gave me a kick in the butt to do so!

[squid rosenberg]

HEY! Thanks Shannon & Carmen! We appreciate the plug for Can I Sit With You? so very very much. Almost as much as S's restraint in not taking potshots.