Mom to the Screaming Masses

The Requisite End of 2008 Post

Have you ever seen a thick piece of metal, heated to an insane temperature and then pounded thin?

That's kind of how I feel at the very end of 2008.  Pounded thin.  When the metal is hot - and when I am hot about something, on fire with something, burning with desire to think and to do and to create - I'm bendable and malleable.  When the metal cools, and when I cool - no longer interested in something or bothered or stressed, but merely existing - then I am brittle and easily shattered.

Sometimes I think too much.

At the tail end of this year, I find myself melancholy and worn out.  Not physically worn out - I'm in, arguably, the best shape of my life and I adore the exercise that I've got going on. I have energy and have gotten into many, many good habits that I think (hope) will sustain me for the long term. 

Like all of you, I have regrets about how some things were handled this year - both by myself and by others.  There are situations that I don't think I handled well, and situations that I know I handled to the very utmost best of my being - but still failed.  I've done things I regret, said things I wish I hadn't, and didn't speak up a time or two when I should.

But there are many things to be proud of.  I'm proud of the fact that I kept everyone healthy and alive for another year.  (That was almost none of my doing, and all to the good of God.)   I'm proud of the fact that I have a healthy strong marriage to someone who completes my half.  I'm very proud of the fact that I completed my book proposal and have actually mailed it out to more than one prospective agent. I'm proud of the fact that this year I became both a paid corporate blogger and a paid author.  I'm proud of the great job I did at Blogher, helping to spread the work of a company that I really believe in. I'm proud of the fact that my kids are polite in public and four of them have won the Peacemaker award at school.  They represent well, no matter how much they fight in private.  I'm proud to hear that people like to be around them.

Shopping With Kids Is So.Much.Fun

Repeat until you believe.

I spent most of today cleaning out stuff, trying to get ready for the New Year to begin.  I'm pretty fond of that task - I usually set up the fresh new calendar for the year, empty cabinets and bookbags, purses and drawers, trying to clean everything up so that the new year can begin fresh.  It's kind of a sickness that I have.

So when my daughters asked me if I'd take them to Target to spend their gift cards, I was glad to get out of the house.  We ran to the post office to mail a really late holiday gift and then made our trek to Target.  And that, my friends and lurkers, is where the fun REALLY began.

Light and Airy

I read a lot of blogs. I enjoy doing it, and many times, I find something controversial, hilarious, or just interesting to talk about.  Today was one of those such days.  I don't usually have the time I'd like to visit every blog I like, but today was a stay in my jammies kind of day. And so I surfed my entire blogroll. I deleted maybe 1/4 of it due to bad links and dead blogs, and added a bunch of new stuff.  And paused when I read a blog that I hadn't read in a long time.  I really like the way that Kristen writes. She's been through the wringer with some really rotten stuff, and yet her writing remains crystal clear and oh, so poignant.  Don't ask me why I've been derelict in reading - a certain oversight on my part.

I really liked something she wrote a few days ago and with her permission, I have swiped it for here.  It's a selfish, girly thing kind of day - only mine will have no pictures, as my laptop and typepad don't see eye to keyboard.  (In order to post pics, I have to email them to myself, sign in on my kids computer, download them to the desktop and then upload to typepad. It's a laborious, disgustingly annoying procedure that I've thus far been unable to fix.

So, in lieu of anything controversial, I'm going to post about my 5 Favorite Things of the Moment: the stuff I'm immersed in right now that provide me with escape: selfish, girly things.  This post is light, it's airy, it's what I need right now.

Escapist Girly thing #1 - I love my Philosophy face wash.  Gentle, non greasy, removes every speck of makeup.

Escapist Girly thing #2 - I love my new Velcro rollers - I don't care if 1985 called and they want their hair back - they give my wavy hair enough lift without curl and are the perfect pick me up every morning.

Escapist Girly thing #3 - I love my Lucky jeans.  Bought them on ebay for about $20, and I wear them literally every day. 

Escapist Girly thing #4 - I love that I read in bed for a LONG time today.

Escapist Girly thing #5 - I love that while I was walking today, my kids came up with a plan.  They pooled their money and called me. If I took them to see Bedtime Stories, they'd clean the house and my oldest daughter would give the little ones baths and make dinner.  They'd be all ready to go by the time I got home.  Who can resist such a deal?  They did what they said, I did what I'd said, and we all went to the 6 p.m showing and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.  It was a cute movie, made better by the fact that everyone worked TOGETHER.

So, what are you loving right now, oh Internetz?  I could use a few more things to adore.  Pile it on me. 

Year End Questions

For the next couple of days, I'm going to get all introspective on you and reflect on the year that was 2008.  This is the first segment.

1. 
Was 2008 good for you?  yes
2. What was your favorite moment of the year?  I have no idea - there were so many.  Blogher was awesome, so was Vegas, so was being on Fox and Friends. 
3. What was your worst moment of the year? again, I had a bunch.  I don't want to list them, though, as that would depress me no end.  Might have been my hernia surgery, could possibly have been the moment I found out that I had cancer.
4. Where were you when 2008 began?  In my bed.  Watching tv, but asleep in minutes.
5. Who were you with? My entire family was on my bed - they all came up to wake me. Except the little girls.
6. Where will you be when 2008 ends?  See #4.  I am really 112 inside.
7. Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008?  I wasn't able to complete it - I wanted to be able to do pull ups.
8. Do you have a new years resolution for 2009?  Yes. To be able to do pull ups and to get my book published
9. Did you fall in love in 2008? Remained there.
10. If yes, with who? Duh.
11. Are you still in love?  Yup.
12. Did you breakup with anyone in 2008?  Nope.
13. Did you make any new friends in 2008?  Tons, mostly from this here blog.
14. Who are your favorite new friends?  ALL of my new friends.
15. What was your favorite month of 2008?  ???  good and bad in every month.
16. Why this month?
17. Did you travel outside of the US (or your home country) in 2008?  I went to Vegas, does that count?  And San Francisco, which is completely different from my home city.
18. How many different places did you travel to in 2008?  New Jersey, New York, Vegas, San Francisco, I think that's it.
19. Did you miss anybody in the past year?  Geez, yes. 
20. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? I don't know.  I saw a ton.
21. What was your favorite song from 2008? 

I can't believe that there are so many questions I can't answer - I loved a billion songs this year.
22. How many concerts or plays did you see in 2008?  I saw Sinbad. I ADORED Spamalot.  I saw The Blue Man Group. I saw Dr. Oz.
23. Did you have a favorite concert in 2008?  Blue Man Group was amazing. I think Spamalot takes the cake above that, though.
24. What was your favorite book in 2008?  Most everything I read was good.
25. How many people did you sleep with in 2008?  HA!  I'm married with little kids.  Add the number of husbands to the number of little kids and that is the number - nothing higher.
26. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?  Yes.
27. What was the biggest lie you told in 2008?  Yes.
28. Did you treat somebody badly in 2008? Yes.
29. Did somebody treat you badly in 2008? Definitely.
30. What was your proudest moment of 2008? Being asked to write for a few different places, being published, and being invited to be on a major news show, as well as representing Zwaggle for a radio interview. Making rank in Capoeira and being given my name.  Making two different belt levels in Muay Thai.
31. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008?  Waving frantically at a guy across the parking lot - a guy who I thought was a friend - who turned out to be a crazy dude who stares at me all the time and gives me the creeps.
32. 
If you could go back to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? How I handled a sticky email situation.
33. Where did you work in 2008? School my kids attend and where ever my laptop might be
34. 
Favorite TV shows(s) of 2008?  I liked The Biggest Loser until this past season.  I don't really watch much television.
35. Favorite Band(s) of 2008? ???
36. Favorite Food in 2008? Hot Buttered Rum is a strong contender, coming from behind at the very last minute....
37. Favorite Drink in 2008?  Oh.  See above.
38. Favorite Place in 2008?


39. Favorite person(s) to be with in 2008? How many more questions can I skip?
40. Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2008?  Probably my husband or my veddy, veddy good friend Frances.
41. Favorite trip in 2008?  Toss up between Vegas and Blogher.
42. Favorite stores in 2008?  I rarely go anywhere except the grocery store.  I did LOVE me some Sephora, though...
43. Hardest thing you had to go through in 2008?  Cancer.  Oh, and that hernia surgery was worse than I thought it'd be. It took me a LOT longer to recover, and that scar just is NOT pretty. 
44. Most exciting moment(s) in 2008?  Being on television. 
45. Funniest moment(s) in 2008?  Might be when my oldest daughter noticed the Wii Fit board from across the room Christmas morning and tripped over the table on the way there.

Feel free to answer any, all, or none in the comment section or on your own blog.

Well, Thank God THAT'S Over

And I mean that in the NICEST way possible.  Gah. I'm so, so tired. Lots of pictures ahead, so grab a coffee while you read.  Definitely a "mommy blogger" post - probably only important to a handful of people, all related to me.

My kids know the Christmas morning drill - they are forbidden downstairs before 7, and no one can go down without me.  I heard them at 6:37 - "is it time yet?" "No, don't wake her yet!"  Finally, I took pity on them at 6:57 and we went downstairs.

Everyone was delighted except, uh, me.  Apparently, I was an idiot this year.  I gave one daughter a CD set of her favorite book - missing the first of the two CD's.  One of my boys got an Etch A Sketch pen - and it didn't work.  My oldest daughter received a curling iron with a straightening attachment - and I broke the handle. I gave my oldest son a Wii game that he already had.  I gave two kids gifts that they received from others first.  I jabbed a knife under my fingernail - by accident.  One of my daughters went to church in a pale green Easter dress and black loafers, a fact I completely missed until it was time for Communion. And I may or may not have forgotten to see if the little girls had brushed hair.

Look, I do most of this by myself.  They're lucky they HAD gifts this year.

Best gifts for me:  shin guards for Muay Thai class, pink boxing gloves, and a hoodie from the school.  An aromatherapy kit from my mom for my headaches and a gift certificate for the martial arts school from my mom - I'm going to buy shirts.  I also got new exercise pants, a couple of shirts, and some lemon and sage body scrub and lotion from bliss.  My husband reports that he's happiest with his gift certificates - remind me to tell you the story why I never buy him anything except gift cards - and my oldest son loves the fact that he got a new clutch in his car and we ordered his class ring.  My oldest daughter is happiest with her pay as you go cell phone, although I can see that this may be a battle - too much texting is sure to be her downfall.  The little girls got new baby dolls.

Best gift for most of them: Wii Rockband.  The pajama version.

   

The rest of the pictures are under the fold - there are pretty big and take up lots of space.        

'Twas The Night Before Christmas...

and I wasn't doing too badly.  I'd done free weight work, walked four miles in balmy 65+ degree weather, folded all the laundry and every present was wrapped.  It was about 2 p.m. when I realized that I was out of a few key ingredients for dinner. And short three presents - ones that I THOUGHT I'd bought, but apparently dreamed it.  AND I was flat broke, except for the $100 gift card I had for Wal-Mart.

I think I just heard everyone gasp.

Yes.  I will admit it - I HATE Wal-Mart with a passion, but I had no choice.  I had to take three of the kids with me and brave the insanity.  The first clue should have been the fifteen minutes it took to enter the parking lot.  The main road was backed up for blocks.  I finally pulled into Starbucks and walked across two parking lots. Had I known what awaited me, I'd have driven out over the grass, cut through the parking lot, and driven over the other cars to get out of there.

There was no butter.  No pie crusts.  NO pecans.  No butter extract.  No vanilla at all to be found.  No vanilla Breyer's ice cream, no vanilla Edy's ice cream.  No vanilla ice cream that was safe for my food allergic kid.  No heavy whipping cream.  What there was in spades was people.  Standing around, filling the aisles, gossiping and visiting and looking in vain for butter and vanilla and pie crusts.

I kid you not - it was like Armageddon in that store.

I grabbed what I could that remained on my list and ran to the register.  Checking out was interminable, the parking lot was worse, and I FLEW home to take the shortest shower possible, race to church, and fall into my spot - thank God my hubby went early and saved a seat - a minute before the service began.

And now I'm home, with three of the dishes for tomorrow made, drinking the most delicious Hot Buttered Rum ever created, watching A Christmas Story as I do every year, listening to Waiting Game, and waiting none so patiently for my teenagers to go to bed.  So Santa can arrive.

I'd like to thank you all for the lovely wishes and prayers that you've sent me.  It means the world to me when I open my email to your lovely messages.  I wish the following for all of you:

A peaceful day, filled with your favorite foods, drinks, and people.  A solid night's sleep, with no tossing or turning on the softest pillow you own, with dreams of your favorite people.  A day with no conflict, no arguments, no strife or difficulty.  Safe travels, and if you are far from home, I wish that you return in the speediest, safest manner possible. Time will be an elastic concept for you, and you will accomplish everything you desire.

Have a very enjoyable holiday.  Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a lovely Winter Solstice.  Every single one of you rocks my world on a daily basis. 

Especially you. And that's not just the Hot buttered Rum talking.

I Am A Mother

So, about two months ago, give or take a while, I got this email.  Despite the fact that it was addressed to Dear Mom to the Screaming Masses - a pitch line that I can NOT STAND - I read it.  The beginning went like this:
Congratulations on being chosen for All Top's Mom Bloggers! Five of my mommy blogging friends told me to not even bother e-mailing you because your blog is so popular. But I decided to write to you anyway. My name is Phil Done. I'm an award-winning elementary school teacher in Palo Alto, CA and author of 32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny: Life Lessons from Teaching. Since you are a mom of six, I believe, I thought that you might get a kick out of this glimpse into the elementary classroom.  The book, which is very popular with parents, is a humorous and poignant collection of essays covering a year in third grade.

I was intrigued.  I'm a sucker for books - at any one point in time, I am reading three.  I also admire someone who has balls of steel and just puts it out there to various bloggers.  The book came today and I've only read a few pages, but I'm really enjoying it.  I'll be reviewing it on Scrutiny in a week or two. 

But that's not the purpose of this post.

A Reader Asks A Question

You do your "How to make life easier" segment, and I have a problem along that line. My Mother In Law just went thru a double mastectomy following a recurrence of breast cancer. She is due to start Chemo on Jan. 9th, on fridays. I would like to make sure she can just sit back and relax while the people in her household are fed and not with KFC and papa johns. Now, My husbands sister is going thru major divorce problems and lives there with her two boys (who eat like nothing else!), as does our niece from my husband's deceased sister. Add the hubbys stepdad and his daughter and her husband, plus many visitors and us occasionally and you have a large group to feed on a small budget (mine). I would like to get people to pitch in and pitch in myself by making dinner at least once a week for them, as well as a freezer meal that they can store in their large (and mostly empty) chest and standing freezers. Yes, they have two. And they are majorly empty, except
 for ducks from hunting and frozen pizza... I guess they don't see the need.

Do you have any advice on how to make this easier on me? The making of the meals, or suggesting to friends and family to help out and to do the freezer meal also? I plan on taking this on because she would never ask for the help, but she will be dealing with herself and cannot care for 7 other people during the weekends (or longer!).

I appreciate any feedback you or your readers can give me.

Thanks!

One Day, Double Blessings, 9 Years Apart

Fourteen years ago, I experienced the longest labor of my birthing career.  44 long, drawn out, rawther painful hours.  I labored at home all of Tuesday afternoon and night, all day Wednesday and that night, and at about 1:30 Thursday morning, on December 22, I begged my husband to shoot me and that was the signal.  Off to the hospital we went, and the blessed event culminated a bit after 4 a.m.  She was a cranky, crabby baby, my Allegra - beautiful name nonwithstanding, she was the least attractive infant I think I've ever seen.  She had colic and slept in 20 minute spurts - maybe once every four hours.  The rest of the time, she cried. And cried.  And CRIED.  She's the first one with whom I experienced the joy of Post partum depression. Whee, doggies, THAT was fun.

She's come a long way.  She's an ace defender/sweeper on a Rush soccer team and is the girliest girl I've got - loves nail polish and makeup, the phone and email and chatting. She's testing for her blue belt in Muay Thai next month.  For her 14th birthday, she wanted one thing - to have her ears double pierced.  So we took a mother /daughter trip to the mall, shopped a bit, ate soft buttery pretzels, and finished with ear piercing.  I fully expect that she'll want a belly ring and/or a tattoo for her 18th birthday.  That's kind of how she is.

 

Making Life (Or At Least Mealtime) Easier, Volume Sixteen

When I had my first baby, I joined La Leche League.  I was determined to nurse my son successfully, and I did - for more than two years.  I stayed in LLL for many, many years - I made some great friends there.  An offshoot of the group formed called Mothering Friends, based on the principles of Mothering magazine.  It was a group of women who were extremely devoted to home birth, no vaccinations, homeschooling, no spanking, organic vegetarian eating, child led weaning, etc etc.  I really liked the group tremendously, but never jelled completely with the entire set of guidelines.  For example, I had my babies in hospitals, a few of them induced - but had no drugs.  I vaccinated my kids - but did child led weaning.  I never gave my babies formula and made most of the baby food for most of them, and some of it was organic - but never desired to bury my placenta in the backyard.  I was the bipolar black sheep of the group, stopping to buy a cheeseburger and fries with a large coke on the way home from the meeting, while my child slept in his cloth diapers, snuggling a free trade organic wool blanket and smelling of essential oils, holding a bottle of homeopathic remedy.

We had a potluck one afternoon, and among the hummus and sprouts, the bulgur and wheat berries, I spied a platter of some time of yummy looking baked good.  I grabbed one and inhaled it.  Heavenly.  I asked around and it was determined that Nell had made them.  I sidled over to her to ask what they were.  "Whole wheat scones," was her prompt answer, and I soon discovered that these were no ordinary scones.  Nell had been selling them to a local (whole foods, organic, vegetarian) cafe type place, and she was busy making quite a name for herself with various versions. She was kind enough to give me the recipe, and, while I don't make any money off the scones, I make them often enough that people are happy when I deliver.