Something To Ponder

Holding anger is a poison...It eats you from inside...We think that by hating someone we hurt them...But hatred is a curved blade...and the harm we do to others...we also do to ourselves... The Five People You Meet In Heaven, Mitch Albon

Fairness does not govern life and death...If it did, no good man would ever die young...Same as above

Do you have any stories that support these thoughts?  Any that negate them?

Comments

[Angela in Ohio]

I love that book.
I have been dealing with this hate and fairness and letting go issue for a couple months, and its going to end up being my own post once I am brave/strong/healed enough to go for it. I'm holding anger I can't seem to shake. The man who molested my kids 15 years ago died a couple months ago. I went through it when it happened--my kids were 3 and 8, and I had pretty much gone through all that anger stuff, but when he died it got all stirred up again, and I am having trouble letting it go. That curved blade is cutting me up. I guess I have to resolve that there is a difference between holding anger and forgiving and forgetting. But, god, it is so hard.

[Karen]

Hatred is a huge scythe as carried by Death. I have been through a lot in my life. Name a form of abuse and I survived. For many years I hated. The hate for the Ones Who Hurt Me was an inferno burning in my soul, the scythe being wielded with brutal efficiency. At 25 I found myself part of an abuse survivors group. It changed my life and helped me heal. Until that group, I hadn't realized how much damage the hate I carried was hurting me. It was then I felt the cuts and burns. It was then I looked at my husband and children. I saw how my hate had spilled out and, in tiny ways, hurt the ones I loved most. I also saw the objects of my hate weren't damaged at all. I'm happier than I ever thought I would be. I carry scars from all that I survived and from the hatred I snuggled like a blanket. The scars will always be there but I'm proud of them. They are a reminder of what I survived and a lesson of what hate can do.

[Headless Mom]

Wow.

Angela and Karen, I hope you have found peace. Such amazing survival stories. I applaud your strength.

Although I've not been through anything like this, I do agree that hatred and unforgiveness can eat you alive. In my experience, only Jesus can heal these wounds.

[kyoot]

I've come to realize that sometimes it takes a lot more energy to be "hateful". I can only imagerine how much energy the person that "hates" me feels. It's all fall under that "do onto others as you would want them to do onto you?" and it's true.
If you gossip and spread hateful things you're going to be a target of gossip and hate because well they feel like "you" are OK with spreading gossip and hate... It happens. It happens a lot in families. I have a "family member" that calls me almost daily, said person calls to complain about another person in their life. Some of those phones calls turn into me trying to support My person but I come off the phone feeling un happy. My person gets their hate/dislike/anger off their chest, but then it falls on me? I can't fix it, it's not in my power,but then I spread it, because I tell Hubbie, Hubbie gives it fuel and it gets bigger. The curve is sharper, the Blade islonger, and everyone hurts. :(

[mm]

One day I watched a lady on TV say "bitterness is poison you spew out and expect other people to swallow." This is sooo true. I had a crappy childhood and I have such a negative outlook on life at times. I am a suspicious person and I have a glass half empty kind of personality. But choosing to be bitter now, when I have a husband, three kids, a house, and a job- well that is my decision now, isn't it?

[Kate]

I trained with an abusive karate teacher for five years. It took about 3.5 of those years for me to figure out what was going on, and the rest of the time realizing I that dealing with him in any way was just hurting me more and I needed to leave. In some ways I needed to finally get angry enough to decide that his actions and words were unacceptable and that it wasn't a failure on my part if I left. I needed to get angry enough to realize that any kind or supportive action on his part was not a change of heart but just another way for him to control me and keep me guessing. (He's great to most people, and while I was not his only target, I was the one that stayed around the longest). I had to get angry enough to stop hoping that it was magically going to get better and I could keep training.

Since then I've been struggling to get back the love I used to have for martial arts. What I'd been so passionate about (I'm sure you understand how large a part of your life training can become) in the past later made me physically ill for a long time. The past year has been a really tough road. I've made steps towards letting go of the anger and hate, and it helps to carry less of that around. At the same time I still have to deal with him occasionally (since I don't want to quit the organization entirely) and have to remember that letting go of the anger doesn't mean that I can stop being careful not to let him back into my head. I don't want to hate, but I can't let myself be kind in return either, even if I want to be a nice person.