Clearly, I Need More Sleep

I bolted upright in bed, jolted awake far too early by an unknown, yet familiar noise. I didn't have my glasses on - kind of hard to sleep in them - so I couldn't see the numbers on the clock, and I reached behind me for my cell phone.  I pulled it from the holder and held it right in front of my eyes, blearily trying to focus, focus, focus.  It was so dark outside, there was no way it could be time to get up.  There was that noise again - what WAS it?

My eyes finally focused.  4:46.  In the morning.  As my brain computed the time, it also placed that noise.  It was giggling.  And it was coming from Emma, and she was downstairs.

This could be bad.

I swung my feet out of bed and listened.  Yep, there it was again - giggling.  What was she laughing at, and, more importantly, with whom? I stumbled over the power wheel - a stomach exercise piece of equipment that I'm reviewing, and made my way to the steps.

Where I heard MY HUSBAND laughing with Emma.  Oh, no, he wasn't, I thought to myself. With no compunction whatsoever, I bellowed - for there was clearly no other word for my voice - "What in the name of God is going on down there?  Emma, you get your butt up here right now - it's 4 in the morning!" Without waiting for a reply, I went back to bed. I'll deal with him in the morning, I thought to myself. Except it was ALREADY the morning, but whatever.

I pulled the covers over my head and soon, I felt her crawl into bed next to me. Fine, whatever - I don't care where she sleeps as long as she does, know what I mean? I turned over to look at her - what in the heck was she wearing?  I'm almost totally blind without those glasses, so I squinted and tried like to crazy to place the white dots.  Why in the world was I seeing so many white dots?  She'd gone to bed wearing pink satiny pajamas with kitty cats on them, nothing white there except the cat eyes - which were apparently GLOW IN THE FREAKIN' dark and all staring straight at me.

Fast forward three hours.

I woke again at 7:45, with the refrain from Bob Dylan's Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 - "Everybody must get stoned...." running through my head.  Uh, yeah - I don't WANT to remember that dream.  I had to pee, naturally, and my hubby was in the shower in our bathroom, (WHISTLING - I HATE morning people!) so I went into the kids bathroom.  Where I fell over a stack of wet towels huddled in a mass in front of the toilet - disguising the puddle of pee that surrounded the toilet and glistened off the toilet seat.  Grimly, I set about cleaning it up, muttering to myself and plotting my revenge on the mad pee-pee'er.

I went downstairs to pour myself some coffee...

and DROPPED the gallon plastic jug, full of sweetened, creamed coffee -

which, surprisingly enough, SHATTERED on impact and the full gallon of coffee gurgled out of both the split side and the top which had popped open - and I made a grab for it and slipped in the liquid -

landing upon my thankfully well padded behind -

and I just sat there, looking all around me, wondering where to begin.

Comments

[Debby Pucci]

Obviously it's going to be one of those days, you should go back to bed and start over!

[girlsmama]

Ummmm...Good morning? At least it can only get better.

[kyoot]

I've been a crankomuffin for about 3days now, so I understand.

[Anna]

Yeesh. Good luck!

[A]

We had the same problem with glow-in-the-dark jammies. Middle of the night wake-ups just to see them was not fun for me. Probably should have warned you... :-)

[Grace]

Oh no! What a way to start your day. Can you sneak in a 30-minute nap anywhere today?

[kg]

And you WONDERED what on Earth you could have to write about???? LOL

*tossing you a stack of sham-wows & a lil shut eye*

THIS is why we are... this stuff CAN'T just happen to me & you're proof of it-
I feel so NORMAL!

The baby is due Saturday, so sleeping is near impossible. I lay/lie/laid/lain myself down the other nite & as SOON as I closed my eyes, the 2 yr old SCREAMED bloody murder- there were "BUGS crawling all over her room". (you know the ones only a toddler can see in the dead of the nite lol)She fell back asleep promptly at THREE a.m. I crawled back in bed and NO LIE my 5 yr old magically appeared, thought she was going to throw up! So by the time I got her settled & back to sleep it was 3:45. Crawl in bed, shut eyes, am jolted upright by the battery back up on husband's computer system beeping like CRAZY. Go shut off, crawl back in bed, close eyes, sleep for 15 minutes & husbands alarm goes off for his 5 a.m. fishing trip. SO I got a glorious 87 minutes of sleep that nite!
I FEEL FOR YA SISTER!!

[Erin]

On days like this it's best to just get back in bed and try again tomorrow!

[Nicki]

Don't you just hate the "you can either laugh or cry" days. Here's hoping the rest of the day went better than the beginning. :)

[Jodie]

What a morning! I have had a couple of those plastic jugs break on impact. I finally quit buying them. Might as well buy glass...

[Elizabeth]

Oh, boy, I hope there is a "here is the rest of the story with a happy, happy ending" post! I'm wishing you a much better night's sleep tonight!

[Emily C]

I'm reading this and nodding.

I actually took pictures of my house this morning to send to my mom, who never believes the chaos that goes on around here. Somehow I keep it under control when she's around and she assumes it's always like that :-)

Packing frenzy last night for Hubs' last minute trip, laundry line drying inside (it's raining), a 2 year old who can't sit still but loves eating raw oats, three days' worth of dishes, and did I mention my husband and I are now sleeping on an air mattress in our very tiny living room that I'm always tripping over? Love these days!

The only thing that makes it better is when we're all hopped up on sugar.

[Young Wife]

Oh, honey. Yikes! Hope the rest of your day goes better.

[Megan]

Oh no! Sorry to hear about your troubles, but this did make me smile a little -- it was the way you wrote it. If it makes you feel better, I got a new coffeemaker and three out of the four mornings this week, I've loosened the top to the pot too much before trying to pour it. Which caused the top to fall completely off and the coffee to spill all over my hand and the counter.

I also seem to trip over everything. I really think my furniture reaches out and grabs me.

I hope this morning was better!

[jadine]

I have no idea what the heck you just said, but HA! My kids sleep talk/walk, and they scare me out of deep sleep on a regular basis. That's about the closest I can come to the giggling and the glowing cat eyes. I hurt from the coffee story just reading it, and the wet towels just make me mad at one of my kids just on principle. I'm not making any sense.

[Sandra]

that is SO a do over day!!