He Just Has No Fashion Sense

With mad apologies before I even begin.  Fashion is such a sensitive issue, I'm BOUND to ruffle someone with this post - and it's SO NOT MY INTENT.

My husband has pretty decent fashion sense. He looks, well, pretty good most of the time. He dresses for work every day, most often in a suit and tie or golf slacks and a collared shirt. (BTW, I'm typing without my contacts in and I would not recommend this - not only can I not see what I'm typing, I can't tell if it's spelled correctly.  Most NORMAL people would get up and get their glasses.  Not me.  I like a challenge am uber lazy and stupid.  Please to ignore any and all spelling errors this evening.)

Proceed.

When we were first married, I bought him clothes.  I'd see something in a store I just KNEW he'd love, and I hurry home with my perfect purchase tucked under my arm.  A day or two later, I'd return to the store with that same package tucked under my arm.  My man, he has his OWN taste - and it is often not my own, for either his outfits or mine. He buys me lots of clothing, and in the beginning, I was hesitant to hurt his feelings and so I kept stuff I hated and wore what I didn't like.  As my body shape changed with the weight loss, though, I grew more self confident and now what he buys that I don't care for - a flame orange dress springs immediately to mind - well, they either go back or get donated.  He doesn't like it. Too bad.

My guy is also cheap.  He hates to spend money on anything. As in, he is thrifty and wears stuff to DEATH before he replaces it and hardly ever buys anything without a reminder. He just doesn't want to spend the money. He buys the cheapest thing he can get away with every time and the concept of spending a large chunk of money on things like shoes is ridiculous to him. He has a reputation in the family as being a bit of a spendthrift, a tightwad, if you will.

He's put on a little weight and so I bought him a pair of pants last week when it was Tax Free weekend.  They were the next waist size up, and he remarked on how comfortable they were and how he needed to get more pants - but there was no way in the world he'd get those same ones, as they were too spendy.  Dockers, $38.  I decided I'd get a black pair the next time I was out (WITH MONEY!  An important fact and one that hasn't happened in a long while!) but I hadn't gotten a chance yet. Tonight he drove Allegra to a friends house, and when I came home from capoeira - where I learned my solo, so if you live in my city hit me up for an invite to our demo on the 28th! - he excitedly informed me that he'd done some shopping on the way home.  He bought a new pair of pants, sneakers, and a belt, as well as a shirt - for $41. 

Really. An entire outfit for $41. Including sneakers. 

So, I asked him to show me his clothes, and he did.  The pants were fine, shirt and belt completely functional.  And then, my fellow comrades in humor, we got to the sneakers.  Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the shoe that my husband bought?

A VELCRO white flat sneaker. For a 54 year old man.  I laughed so hard I thought I'd pee my pants. What happened to the fashion?  What happened to the style?  What happened to velcro shoes for the preschoolers and one foot in the grave dwellers?

And then, to make matters worse, he put them on WITH his white knee socks and schlumped around the house - for there's really no other word to describe the steps a man must take in shoes that are half a size too big - but they WERE a good deal. He said he might have to wear two pairs of socks with them.

I'm still snickering.

And he knows I'm blogging this - I told him, between fits of hysterical laughter as he pounded around the house.

Comments

[Headless Mom]

love it! (I've missed you! Can't wait for the full update!

[mhb]

I was hoping you weren't going to say they were black velcro sneakers. BUT, white is even worse!!!!!

[Kerrie]

My husband wears those awful muscle shirts....OUT OF THE HOUSE. I'm not entirely sure why...

[mary]

holy hell! wait til he rocks the BLACK SOCKS with the white shoes! My dh is SO STINKIN similar it is scary! He once {many moons ago} bought fake air jordan sneakers from a guy by the side of the road. And wore them. IN PUBLIC. And when it rained the paint ran! KLASSY He also thinks he wears a size medium t shirt which just accents his little belly he cannot see for some reason.
And SIMILAR to yours, mine will spend every nickel he has buying his kids crap they dont need. PEE PEE DOLLS!!!! LOL the kids call him daddy big bucks! {well they did before the economy dumped}
OH and he once bought me pull on polyester pants and a matching sweater for Cmas from farm and fleet. I took them back!! STAT

[Caren Story]

Although my husband is pretty good about buying stuff, he doesnt do it very much. And I'll tell him if something doesnt look good. Tell your husband my GRANDFATHER wore those sneakers...I bet you're laughing...I'm laughing just thinking about it :)

[patois]

Damn. You are married to my father.

[Grace]

OMG that is TOO funny! Thankfully it wasn't plaid madras shorts with those socks and velcro sneakers. At least the rest of the stuff your husband got was okay.

[Young Wife]

Ha, ha! Thanks for the laugh. My husband and I have very different tastes. Our home has sort of a modern, Pottery Barn look to it. If I were decorating by myself, the house would be Shabby chic. I gave up buying him clothes before we were even married. He won't wear any pastels.

[elizabeth]

I am married to that same frugal man! He constantly buys us (all!) shoes that he finds on deep discounts, we tell him we hate them (the style - wouldn't be seen even on Pee Wee Herman!) -- BUT, but - they WERE $80.00 and he got them for $5.00! Egads...will have to send you a pic sometime of hub in orange (clearance) shorts and blue calf high socks! LOL!

[Brandy]

You're making me smile! I needed that, thanks. My hubs? Is partially color-blind, so I do all the shopping for him. *G* I still get woken up before he leaves for work with him asking me if the tie he's wearing goes with the shirt and pants he has on. *G*

[Lisa @ All That and a Box of Rocks]

Oh, I was so hoping for photos.... lol

My husband only buys items that are on the Walmart clearance aisle. Seriously. For real.

[Megan]

First, you did an excellent job typing while blind...I did not see any spelling errors.

And...darn, no picture?

I'm guessing it'll be about a day before he realizes that walking around in shoes a half size too big is just not fun. But hey, it was a good deal! If they cost, say, $10, and he wears them for a day, then your shoe budget should be $10 a day, too.

[mary]

My husband has a hole in the toe of his shoe, and continues to wear them to work. I am hiding these shoes as soon as I can.

[ReinventingAmy]

Hilarious! My brother sounds just like him. He has a decent fashion sense, but refuses to spend money on clothes. They, very literally, have to be in shreds before he'll go out and get new clothes.

But really- velcro shoes!?!?! Save that for when you're 80! :)

[Sue @ My Party of 6]

We are married to the same man. And mine will only wear grey shirts. Every. single. day. Grey.

[Dianna]

Wait a minute...Is this not the man who just bought all the children new toys when you were in NYC? Sheesh!

[Shelly]

Too funny!! Kinda sounds like my husband, but more like my dad. Guys are amazing when it comes to 'thinking' they are getting a deal.

[kyoot]

My hubbie bought himself some Blue framed (womens) reading glasses and he put them on and I couldn't stop laughing for almost 45minutes! I couldn't breath I laughed so hard. I feel so bad now that I laughed so much but I really needed tha tlaugh that day :)

[Average Jane]

And *that* is why I take my husband shopping for clothes, rather than waiting for him to pick out his own.