Mom to the Screaming Masses

Housekeeping

By Parenting

I have been nominated for a "Love This Site" award at Divine Caroline. The site with the top number of votes from now to December 4th will receive a $250 Visa Gift Card.  If you like this site, would you mind registering and voting for me?  Registering is super easy and you won't get spam.

And at FlipFlops and Freckles, she paid me a wonderful compliment. Thanks so much for your kind words, Melissa.

New post up at Zwaggle where I talk trash about Twitter, complete with examples.

At Diets In Review, I tried my hand at making homemade granola bars, discuss what to do if you lost your workout mojo, and wonder if weight loss equals love lost?

And my newest coffee love, Cold Pressed Coffee. OMG - I have NO idea where this recipe has been all my life. I made this in my French Press and it was even easier than making a pot and sweetening it and then storing it in the fridge. Literally, I mixed the coffee and the water and left it on the counter overnight, and strained it in the morning. I sweetened it and added milk and it was done. I've had cold Pressed Vietnamese coffee in a restaurant with sweetened condensed milk and I'm considering attempting it with fat free condensed milk. Try this recipe from Smitten Kitchen - I PROMISE you will love it.

Cold-Brewed Ice Coffee Adapted from The New York Times

Yield: Two drinks 1/3 cup ground coffee (medium-coarse grind is best) Milk (optional)

1. In a jar, stir together coffee and 1 1/2 cups water. Cover and let rest at room temperature overnight or 12 hours.

2. Strain twice through a coffee filter, a fine-mesh sieve or a sieve lined with cheesecloth. In a tall glass filled with ice, mix equal parts coffee concentrate and water, or to taste. If desired, add milk.

Stuff I Do Not Need to Buy

I was reading over at Motherbl*gger and she had an awesome post about things that she no longer needs to purchase.  As in, she has enough to last her until the end of time or the apocalypse - whichever comes first. With a list comprised of things like applesauce and black beans, I didn't think that we had too much in common.  After all, as my children will gladly attest, there is NEVER enough food in the house. 

But.

There ARE some certain things on her list that I agreed with, and I decided to start my own.  Many of mine can be found on hers, and I'm curious to know if they overlap with yours as well. What from my list could be found on yours, and what would you add or subtract?

Random Funnies From a Facebook Friend

Just to lighten things up a bit.

Not sure where these originated, but it's awesome. Thanks for sharing Scott! I always thought you'd been good for something all those years ago!

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Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.


There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first
saw it.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all
I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new person, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

The Great Steak

I took Emma for a haircut this past weekend to get ready for school.  While we were there, I saw that the grocery store next door was setting up a large black tent outside. I'm always one for a free giveaway - hey, maybe it's a sample!, I thought to myself - I am so easily swayed - and so I decided that we'd check it out once she was properly shorn and coiffed.

The air smelled good enough to bite and we lost no time in heading to the Big Black Tent, which turned out to be a display of the store brand steak.  i know, STEAK. It was about 397 bajillion degrees outside and I felt awful for the man slaving over the grill, but he was polite and friendly and offered to hook us up with a sample of steak - if we wanted.  IF WE WANTED. Oh, hai, my stomach and greed. Steak and my stomach are very good, if infrequent buddies and I couldn't wait.

I've had plenty of samples in my life, but when the top was whisked from he serving dish, I literally gasped. The "samples" were 3 or 4 inch hunks.  On toothpicks. More than a mouthful, a couple of these babies could have made a meal. I scooped up my sample and looked at Emma, who hung back behind me.  I pushed her forward.

"Go on, get a piece of steak, Emma," I hissed. Se shook her head no.  "I don't like steak," she whispered.

I know, right? She doesn't LIKE steak.

It was delicious and cooked to a perfect medium and seasoned with Montreal Steak seasoning, my very favorite. I told her to grab a piece anyway - hey, I'm not too proud.  I nodded at the guy and smiled, hoping against hope that I didn't have pepper flakes between my teeth. "She's only 7, she can't remember if she likes it or not," I lied through my teeth and he laughed. We walked away and she asked, "Mommy, why did you take it?  I don't like it!"

"But I do," I said and I began to nibble on the sample.  Hmmm, two more of these and I could count it as my lunch, I thought. I pondered how to accomplish this as I went into the store to buy a gallon of milk.  I toyed with using a disguise - the steak REALLY was that good, and I had my husband's SHOES OF INFAMY in the car- if I stuck those on, the ugliness of the shoes would be a distraction and I could get more steak. I decided against it.  On our way out, we were greeted by the server, who offered us more meat.  "We already had some," I said, even as my stomach rumbled and I wished I wasn't such a goody two shoes. "Take some more, we've got plenty!" he assured me.  Alrighty, then - you don't have to tell me twice.

This time I was prepared and didn't take one for Emma, who then tugged on my arm.  "Mommy!  Get one for me!" Blushing furiously, I grabbed one for her and made a mental note to never, EVER try to beat the system again. I was shocked beyond belief, though, when she took the steak from me and bit off a teeny bit.  She looked at me and said, "I wanted to try it.  You said it was so good, and it IS!" She gobbled it up as quick as she could,pronounced it chewy, and asked me if she could put on a disguise and go get another piece.

It appears I have an accomplice in sneakery.

There ARE Nice People In The World

I went to the mailbox yesterday and noticed a package.  I was just a wee bit grumpy, having addressed the topic of why don't you have a job to help your husband? and was desperately hoping for something more exciting than overdue bills and unsolicited catalogs. There was a small package.

Hmm, I thought to myself. I don't remember ordering anything.

I opened the package and inside was a cute little white box.  Inside the box were two dark brown cookies.

GINGER COOKIES. AS A GIFT.

I looked at the label and then I remembered the email I'd received from Beth a few weeks ago on the Cookies post.

There are people that can ignore cookies?!
There is a bakery in town called Sugar and the guy specializes in small batch baking... so basically your grandma's kitchen kicked up a notch... he makes these ginger molasses cookies that are DIVINE. Crystalized ginger, chewy molasses, caramelized outer layer. Mmmm.

AND SHE SENT TWO TO ME.

I wanted to show you, but this is all that remained by the time I came up for air and remembered the camera.

 

There are good people in the world.  Thank you Beth. You made a grumpy day brighter.

Why Not Just Get a Job, Already?

This is heavy and deep.  I'm requesting that we all remember to wear our big girl panties and speak civilly and respectfully to and about each other at all times.  Comments that do not follow this request will be deleted. 

Some of you know that I received a comment that was a touch difficult for me and made me grumpy.  I make no secret of the fact that money has been tight, but maybe I need to back off on this refrain a bit. On my post discussing how much back to school costs, a post I wrote to enter a Visa gift card contest, I received this comment:

I know nobody likes negative reactions to their posts and I really enjoy reading your blog. I read yours every day and really enjoy hearing about your family but I'm curious. Since your children need so many things and your husband is working so very hard to provide and since all your kids will be in school all day, do you plan to get a job to help out?

To which I replied:

Tomorrow is the First Day of the Rest of The Year

Check this link out - it's a GREAT interview with Wendy Bazilian chock full of shopping trip tips, with a bonus contest to win a copy of her newest book! There are two copies of the book and very few entries - your odds are great!

It's 10:30 pm as I type this on Sunday night.  The last Sunday night of the summer.  Tomorrow school begins for five of my kids. One kid is going to make the jump to public school this year, and so she will be home for another two weeks.  But, as of Monday morning at 7:45, those enrolled in Catholic school will be out of my home for a blissful 7 hours.  It will be almost quiet.

But, ye cats, people - have we gone through some money this month.  Notebooks, folders, crayons and pencils - those items are on sale quite a bit and can be bought a bit at a time. It's not hard to slip a.25 packet of crayons into the shopping cart. The rest of the items, though - they can be budget breakers.  Folders, copybooks, contact paper to cover the books, scissors, tape that disappears as fast as I buy it - the list goes on and on and on. And, hello - the CALCULATORS that cost $100?? And flash drives in triplicate! Soccer cleats, shin guards, running spikes and the never ending purchase of textbooks.  AND - as evidence of the absolutely STELLAR job that I'm doing - I didn't check the motrin that two of my kids take to school, never mind the benadryl and albuterol inhalers for school and had to make a mad (expensive!) dash to the drugstore at 6 p.m. on a Sunday.  F-U-N times, yo.

What really gets me is the clothing.  Uniforms aren't so bad - I've been lucky enough to have great success at the used sale, be the recipient of hand me downs from other families, and found some great offers at the church thrift store.  Shoes, now - that's a different story. Just try to find chocolate brown or black mary janes or slipons, never mind solid white sneakers. There's really nowhere to buy those things second hand - although, I was able to score two pairs of tie Stride Rites for Gabe for this year and next - for $1. But shoes for six times three pairs a kid gets pretty spendy.

Further Information on the Shoes of Infamy

1. They were the cheapest shoes offered - they were half of the price on the tag
2. Actual words from him mouth - "My mother always said to buy shoes you can grow into."
3. Actual other words he said, "But they were so cheap!"

Yes, I know I'm doomed.  He's 54 and really 94 inside. And pathetically cheap to boot.

He Just Has No Fashion Sense

With mad apologies before I even begin.  Fashion is such a sensitive issue, I'm BOUND to ruffle someone with this post - and it's SO NOT MY INTENT.

My husband has pretty decent fashion sense. He looks, well, pretty good most of the time. He dresses for work every day, most often in a suit and tie or golf slacks and a collared shirt. (BTW, I'm typing without my contacts in and I would not recommend this - not only can I not see what I'm typing, I can't tell if it's spelled correctly.  Most NORMAL people would get up and get their glasses.  Not me.  I like a challenge am uber lazy and stupid.  Please to ignore any and all spelling errors this evening.)

Proceed.

Reasons You Wish You Were Me

In bullet form.

• I sliced my pinky open while at the LaGuardia airport yesterday and it stings every time I type.
• Also, it bleeds randomly and I've cleaned the keyboard twice.
• While I listen to Emma and Riley cry for Daddy in their bedroom.
• Where they were sent for punching each other.  And pulling hair.
• And now I can hear threats from Emma - I've got a BOOK and I'm not afraid to use it!
• Which means, what, really?  She's going to intimidate her with print?
• I just dumped my entire water bottle between my bed - which is naked of sheets right now - and the bedside table.
• Is it wrong that I don't really care if I wipe it up?
• Or am I not wiping it up because I have no clean towels in the house?
• I had to take my daughter to the doctor today for an allergic reaction to a bug bite that left her with a fist sized hot and swollen area on her leg.  But we were late to the appointment.
• Because she had to straighten her hair.
• I, however, was ready to depart the house on time.
• And we were yelled at by the doctor. Who was mad that all of his patients that day were late and then embarrassed that he ranted to me when he found out that WE were late as well.
• While I was away in NYC, my husband bought the boy ANOTHER gun and two swords.
• And my little girls FOUR new baby dolls.  Two of whom wet on their OWN little potties.
• Because they wanted them, that 's why.
• My air conditioner currently reads 85 degrees, despite being set on 74.
• And I hung my sheets out to dry, where they promptly blew off and fell in the sandbox.  Do I really need to rewash them, or can I shake all the sand out?
• FIVE MORE DAYS OF SUMMER. Five more days to make memories for my kids that will last a lifetime. Or yell until I lose my voice.  Which do you think is more likely to happen?
• But, right now, I haz to pay TEH BILLS. WHICH my husband has called to remind me to do FIVE TIMES.  GAH.

BUT.  Gratuitous shots of NY - my most favorite city EVER - are below the fold. Many of these were taken at midnight in Times Square.