Random Funnies From a Facebook Friend

Just to lighten things up a bit.

Not sure where these originated, but it's awesome. Thanks for sharing Scott! I always thought you'd been good for something all those years ago!

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Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.


There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first
saw it.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all
I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new person, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

Comments

[Jodie]

I just got this list in my email yesterday. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Too funny!

[mhb]

LOL!!! That was really good!

[jenn]

it was nice to laugh out loud at something that was other than the stupid thing i had done...thanks

[Melissa]

So funny! You always crack me up... I even dedicated my post for today to you!

[Lisa @ All That and a Box of Rocks]

This is a great list. I needed a laugh!

Why is it that we can laugh at a general list like this (because we KNOW we have done this stuff), but struggle so when it happens in real time?? Human nature is a funny, fickle thing....

[Cori]

I LOVE these!! And, if you happen to recognize one or five of these in my future status messages, just act surprised, 'kay?

[Melissa - The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans]

Is it bad that I can identify with each and every one of those?

[Young Wife]

Ha, ha! It's so true. The last one is so great.

"I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste." - I call those days a waste of makeup.

[Amber J. Heard]

This is a hilarious! I say "What?" several times in a conversation while nodding and I do feel terrible bad about the fact I'm not speaking to someone more interesting while simotaneously checking my watch several times in one minute.

[Pearl]

Someone's been spying on me! Too funny. I'm right there on the post DVD boycott and I also don't want anymore computer "upgrades" either!

[Michele]

Oh that is awesome! Thanks for that.

[Nobody]

So what if someone says: “I’m not didactically smart, but I’m practical application smart.”?

[UKCraftySal]

So enjoyed this, made me laugh out loud a lot! I do all these (and probably others that no-one's told me about yet...)

[kyooty]

oh the snooze button!

[Alexis]

To answer the unasked question, these originated at comedian Aaron Karo's website www.ruminations.com . They are, indeed, quite funny.