And The Answer Is...

Not painting. I don't paint. I don't like to paint. I like it when it's done, but I don't do it. So anyone who guessed painting was wrong.    

The entire saga began Wednesday morning. My daughter couldn't find some piece of clothing - I don't remember which it was - but I went up to her bureau to look for it. My first clue that something was not exactly right was the inability to open any of her bureau drawers. Hmm, I thought to myself. What's up with the dresser?

Nothing was wrong with the dresser.  Nothing that the removal of about 60% of the clothing crammed into drawers couldn't fix. So that was my plan as the morning began. Just to simply remove some of the clothing and get rid of it. After all, this daughter gets hand me downs from more than a few people and there is no reason in the world that one kid needs 112 t shirts. 

But when I went upstairs, I reflected on the conversation that had occurred at breakfast. I had spoken to the girls about the state of their room, and received the same response as always: "It's not MY mess." No matter that only two girls reside in said room, the clothes on the floor and the books and papers strewn around clearly were the work of two OTHER girls - the younger ones in the family, perhaps. Every single day, every single conversation, the blame gets passed around and no one EVER EVER takes responsibility - even if a shirt says a name, there's no way said individual actually PUT it on the floor. Never mind trying to get people to take the wash downstairs or empty the garbage can - not my job, not my turn, she never does it, it's ALWAYS me. And when I walked in the room and beheld said mess, well, my head may have slightly exploded and I may have uttered several choice colorful phrases. And then I emptied out the entire room.

And I measured it and cut it in half exactly down the middle with blue painter's tape - the only bright color tape I could lay my hands on. And I emptied bookshelves - because they were too heavy to move packed as full as they were - and took the opportunity to move books to more appropriate recipients in the house - a middle school student has no need for easy reader chapter books. And I cleared closets to the walls and scrubbed baseboards and hung uniforms. Moving bureaus meant that I had to dump ALL of the clothes on the floor. I put one bed, one bureau and one bookshelf on each side of the room. I found an extra hamper and an extra garbage can and I outfitted each side of the room exactly the same. I got rid of a rocking chair and 8 bags for the thrift store. I loaded 5 bags of pure, unapologetic crap for the trashcan. I found over 100 hair accessories - clips and hair holders, ribbons and the like. I found 23 rosaries and 133 pens and pencils. (I like numbers, so I counted.)

And then I worked on the bureaus. In MY life, a bureau works like this: one drawer for shirts, one for shorts, one for jammies, one for undies - you understand. My daughters follow a different principal - every drawer is a smorgasbord of possibilities and  opportunities and you never, ever ever throw anything away, for one never knows when a receipt will be needed or a movie stub asked for. Moving the bureaus meant that all of those clothes and papers and stuff were dumped onto the floor.  I rummaged through them, locating some of the above mentioned pens/pencils/hair accessories, pulled out the articles of clothing that I hated, the ones I was sick of seeing, and put them in the thrift store bags - and left the rest of the clothes for them to fold, organize and put back in the bureaus. Each in a big pile on their OWN side of the shared room.

Each half of the room contains a window, a bed, a bookshelf and a bureau, a garbage can and a hamper. That's it. The door is in the middle.

Although I LOVED the thought that I taped off a space that is just my own and no one else could come in it, that's not what I did - but I bought myself some sanity all the same. Neither one is allowed to enter the other person's space. And, right now, that's all I care about. One day they will learn to get along.

But for right now, they learn to be apart and that's good enough for me.

Comments

[Beth]

My sister and I did the same thing when we were in jr. high. It worked for about .085 seconds, but we were forced to clean out the mess. Even though we fought like CRAZY when we were young, we now are great friends -- in fact, I just opened a facebook account (I really don't get facebook, but I did it for our business) and within seconds, and I mean literal seconds! my sister was my friend. I immediately said she needed a life if a 43 year old was on facebook at 10:00 on a friday. Her response: You're on it too!

[Jodie]

That is awesome! And I love that you left the clothes for them to sort out. You had a very busy day, I hope that it works and there is no more blame game!

[Shelly]

My mom did that to me and my sisters. It was the best thing she ever could do. My boys have something similar, but really can't do much when the room is wall to wall beds, even with bunk beds. We try.

[Debby Pucci]

Sounds like an excellent plan. I hope it all works out.

[Robin]

Wonderful idea!!

[owen's mommy]

omg! please tell me you didn't actually get RID of that rocking chair, like, gone forever, rid of that rocking chair?? I LOVE THAT CHAIR! it's so cool! please tell me it hasn't been sent away for good?? pretty, pretty please =] because i know someone, ahem, that would TOTALLY take that chair off your hands!!

[beebalm]

23 rosaries!? WOW! :)

[owen's mommy]

ps. i kinda like that you did this... i totally get where you're coming from... because when my sister and i were younger, we too had a line down the middle of our room. that line, however, was marked from where the messiness of her side ended and the cleanliness of mine began =] i feel like if you were my age, you definitely would have been hanging out on my side haha. hopefully your plan will teach them to value their things and their respective 'places' within a clean room. it's going to make 'em, or break 'em!

[patois]

I, too, am stuck on the 23 rosaries. Are they being used as contrition for being mean to a sister?

[Savannah]

My brother and I did that too when we had to share a room. Our mom even painted my side pink, his side blue, each with a Minnie or Mickey Mouse border meeting in the middle. It was actually awesome! I would LOve to see pictures of the redo.

[des]

You are my hero!

[mm]

I am taking a break from cleaning my house to read about you cleaning yours. I have cleaned rooms like that myself. But I have not found rosaries in them. Half eaten sandwiches, cat vomit, mould, over due homework, heart scribbled notes, and millions of hair thing-a-majigs. I remember one time walking through the hall and thinking that the dust bunnies were really getting out of end. But then I realized it was our hamster on the loose. But no rosaries. It is not the finding of rosaries I am finding unusual, but the number.

[mary]

Romi tried to do that in my her room she shares with a sister too! Except she used PURPLE MARKER on my CARPET. Ahhhh Romi. :)

LMK how this works!! And whenever a kid room gets soooo bad i have to clean it I fill heftys too. They keep EVERYTHING

[Lisa @ All That and a Box of Rocks]

Funny that you posted about this. I stood in the door of the boys' room today in complete dismay. How could 'not me' be so bad at keeping the room clean? I was seriously thinking of getting the rake...

I know it's tough for them, having 3 in one bedroom, but COME ON aleady. Can't we just see the carpet for a change??

I know it bothers me way more than it bothers them-they're boys.

[Lyz]

Yay for cleaning out junk! I am trying to live by a new motto - "If I spend more time picking it up than the kids do playing with it, it goes in the garbage."

Good for you, taking control over insanity!

[mary]

I totally understand. I spent a hour cleaning up my girls' room so I could vacuum.

[maggie]

Great idea! I'm painting right now so I'm going to keep the tape handy. I have two little girls that are about to embark on the sharing a room adventure. Maybe the separation will inspire more organization?

[Gina]

Oh My! My boys are 8 and 5. They have shared a room since we kicked the little one out of ours. I just heard, "This is not my mess!"for the fist time. btw he was hold mostly his own dirty clothes so yes, it was his mess!

[Katrina]

I have 3 girls 2,4,and 6. I have a feeling that you just gave me a glimps into my future!

[Grace]

Wow! You actually taped off their room? How the weekend been since the tape has been down?

[Mama Cas]

23 Rosaries, huh? Were those girls praying for a maid to help them??

[Paige]

I SO absolutely agree with you. We are having the great bedroom migration of '09 this weekend, because it's time to switch roommates. Maybe that will cut down on the blaming. But sometimes, a line needs to be drawn. How did they react?

[Young Wife]

Whoa! You got a lot done. I love sending stuff to charity or thrift stores. It makes you feel so organized and clutter free.