Why We Will Never Be a Pioneer Family

This is a RIDICULOUSLY LONG POST. Seriously, as in insanely long.

Snow was in the forecast for a week. I knew it was coming, but in Va Beach, snow is forecast a couple of times a year and shows up maybe twice a decade. I am a skeptic, and was certain that it wasn't going to snow. In fact, Saturday morning, I woke at 3 and looked outside - and saw nothing. Satisfied, I went back to bed. I forgot that I am blind and I wasn't wearing my glasses.

SNOW LOG, DAY ONE - Saturday.

OMG, there's actual SNOW on the ground. A lot of it. Crap. I can't believe this. Well, I guess that the kids will be happy. I can hear them screaming already. 

When I got out of bed, I checked the front yard. The news reported that we had 5 inches and it was still falling.  Blissfully happy to have nowhere to go and the ability to stay home with my family, for my hubby had received a phone call that work was closed - I set to work cooking Belgian Waffles and Gourmet Peppermint Hot Chocolate.

Am BEST MOTHER EVER. Cooking delicious, warm and filling breakfast for my family. Everyone always begs for Belgian Waffles and I NEVER make Hot Chocolate.

I served the breakfast, everyone dressed warmly, (except for the fact that more than a few of them have no boots, only half of them have waterproof gloves, two have no snow pants and one of them has a beautiful coat that is NOT waterproof!) and all went out to play. I sat down to work on the computer - for, you know, a snow day for them is still a work day for me - and was rudely booted off by my husband.

I don't want to go sledding. I hate sledding. I really hate going out in the snow. I can't drive in it because I never learned - and I KNOW you grew up in NYC and learned to drive in lots of snow - but dude, you haven't lived there in 25 years. Alright, already, I'm going! You are a nooge.

We packed up and went sledding - and you saw the results. It was really pretty, very cold and STILL pelleting ice and snow around. And my husband did all of the sledding while I took all of the pictures - a balance I was happy to keep, for I do not like my feet being off of the ground. We went back to the van, I sat and read my Kindle while waiting - and we waited a LONG time, for the van was stuck in the snow.

I told you not to park here. I SAID we'd get stuck, but you didn't listen. And now.we.are.STUCK. For an hour. Even more stuck than at the beginning. I'm catching a ride home with friends and the littles - you figure it out.

And he did. He arrived home, I did 4 loads of wash, cycled kids outside three times and picked up a hundred pairs of wet gloves, realizing that the kids were now down to wearing random mismatched gloves and size 4 snow pants - even though my smallest child wears a 6. I made bolognese sauce and bread and sent everyone to bed.

SNOW LOG, DAY TWO - Sunday

Even more snow overnight. Frozen waffles and Hot Pockets for breakfast. No salting, no plowing - but the husband decided that he was going to keep his obligation to singing at 7 a.m. Mass and left at 6, and I was left to debate internally if we were going to attend the scheduled 9 a.m. Mass and the as yet uncanceled Catholic Schools Week Open House. My kids LOVE the Open House, live for it all year, and had been scoping out the Book Fair all week, so we got ready. Hubby came home and drove us. I sat in the back and cringed all the way, but we made it there. Riley was the only casualty, falling on the ice.

I'm NOT going sledding again. Geez. All I want is to nap. It's COLD outside and I TOOK 700 pictures of you sledding. Besides, Sleepless In Seattle is on and I want to make cookies. Don't let ME stop you. Good, he's gone. With three kids - even better!

Riley and I made white chocolate orange cookies, chewy brownie cookies and 2 loaves of pumpkin bread. We put three loads of wet stuff in and put it away. We folded all of the laundry that was hanging around. We watched the news and saw first one, then a second, and a final third, school crumble under pressure and close for Monday. We answered the call that the van was stuck in the snow again and it took 12 people to push it out. When they got home, the changed into dry clothes, the hubby took everyone out for a fourth time, some kids went to friends houses, and when I turned around, there were four different teens in my back room. I never saw them come in. We went through four pizzas in ten minutes.

Ok, I can do this. All kids home from school. No problem.

I did more wash - wondering where all of these gloves had been my whole life - and who, exactly, was wearing the size 12 boys coat that had been in the back of the closet for more than four years. I found the handmade knit hat in the washer and cried, and then decided to try to stretch it. Boredom was beginning to set in - "Mom! Make her stop looking at me/I want to have friends over!/I want to go out!/ I don't like her looking at me!" I suggested the Wii. The Xbox. Movies. Cookies. Finally, I just sent everyone to bed as I wondered, How did Ma Ingalls do this, day in and day out? Was the woman a saint, or did she drink to excess every winter day?

SNOW LOG, DAY THREE - Monday

No more snow, but ice everywhere. The kids were up, I threw some dry cereal at them - oh, how the mighty have fallen - and they were back outside. I made them come inside and exchange wet socks and gloves for dry, noticing that no one had matching gloves and Emma was wearing a newborn beanie stretched across the top of her skull - and decided I didn't care. I attempted to work and was serenaded by shrieks and screams, hair pulling and punching, and decided that enough was enough. I was not a good enough mother for this, I was tired of shoving dry socks and warm mittens at people, and it was MY turn.

I called a friend and we WALKED two miles to the gym through the snow and the ice. We worked out an hour and then headed home.When I came home, they were back outside, and I contemplated locking the door. Deciding it wasn't a good idea, I brought them in to the LEAST popular dinner ever - fish and peas - where, with alternating shouts of joy and wide eyed hysteria - we learned that there is no school tomorrow. 

And now? I'm drinking. I fold. Ma Ingalls was a MUCH better mother than I will EVER be.

Comments

[Gerrie Gould]

Loved this post. Snow was a novelty for us too when we first moved to WI, but now...not so much. There's still about a foot of snow from a previous snow and it's snowing again. I would, however, love the baked goods from your kitchen, Carmen cause I know how good a cook/baker you are and a drink sounds good too---only maybe a Hot Rum Toddy--I'm buying!

[Starr]

Carmen, I've always suspected Ma Ingalls wasn't quite the perfect Mom that Laura made her out to be. If Ma had written the Little House books, we'd have gotten a completely different story. ;)

[Young Wife]

Yikes. Living in Dallas, we're lucky to have snow for a few hours. I can't imagine DAYS of snow! And ugh. To have the van get stuck twice. Sending sunny, warm wishes your way!

[Melessa]

I LOVE Starr's comment and agree wholeheartedly. I *think* we are finally back in school tomorrow. We've had snow days here in Oklahoma since last Thursday. I enjoy days with all the kids at home and even I am ready for them to be back at school now.

[Mar]

I know it wasn't the real point of your post BUT my kids also love Catholic Schools Week and the open house! Funny, we have our book fair that week also. I think mine love it because they get a free dress pass for wearing their uniforms to Mass. They are few and far between and they would do just about anything for a free dress.

[elizabethk]

Hee - truly wonderful to read, and NOT experience. Your hub is SUCH a sweetie! We have had TONS of snow and I have not been half the Pioneer Mama you have been! You are an exhausting - inspiration! :D

[Headless Mom]

I know that you're going stir crazy, but what great memories for your kids! I would welcome a snow day right about now. I've always told my kids that if we ever have snow on the ground they don't have to go to school, no matter what the school says. (Highly unlikely in SoCal, but still.)

[addy]

See that's what happens. All the sudden there are neighbors kids in your house, playing your games, eating your food and drinking gallons of your hot chocolate. And when you ask "does your mom know where you are?" - the response "oh yeah she was tired of us and told us to go away" Huh, I douldn't have said that first? (Lots of heavy drinking helps.)

[Jodie]

I live in MN and I don't even know how many snow days we've had so far this year. We'll probably be going to school in July! My advice? Play-doh. It gets us through many hours of snowy boredom :) I even enjoy playing with the stuff. Good luck to you and I hope you are all back to normal on Wednesday!

[Emily C]

I don't remember where I read this, but someone once speculated that sometimes Ma Ingalls must have handed the baby to Laura and Mary and gone out onto the prairie to scream until she could calm down.

I think it would be easier if our kids didn't expect to be entertained every.single.second.

[mary]

{imagine singing} WELCOME TO MY WORLD! lol. The laundry, check. Kids must go in and out 100 times a day and get dry stuff every time. Even if you own enough snow stuff for every kid you/they will NOT find it.

its snowing here right now and I am not looking at it. It sucks ass. And no, you dont ever get used to being cold, k?

Last winter we were snowed in for FOUR DAYS. My car was blocked in the garage and Hubbie was out of town! FOUR SNOW DAYS STUCK IN THE HOUSE. I may have been sipping some strong stuff when no one was looking.

[Brenda]

Great post! Just a few comments:

1. Driving in NYC snow doesn't necessarily mean knowing how to drive in snow. City streets are generally plowed, and public transportation eliminates the need for a lot of driving, anyway.

2. Re schools closing -- weren't you impressed that St. Matthew's wins a Most Optimistic award, because they only had a 1-hour delay this morning? I wonder how many students actually made it there this morning?

[mm]

Here in my part of Newfoundland most of the schools are on a snow day. You know, one minute it looks great, the next minute you can't see the house next door. It is not unusual but it is tormenting. So all of my kids are home and I have been sent home from work as well. I am getting "I'm bored" from the kids but the problem today is we are all battling head colds as well.

I do believe they had to use a lot of editing on the Ingalls shows, even if it was and is one of my favorite shows. No woman is that patient. However, I do sometimes wish for their simpler times.

[Pat]

When we got 20 inches of snow in D.C. just before Christmas, I thought I never would have made it if I were my Irish great-grandparents newly arrived to the Midwestern plains. That was before electricity, cars, telephones and both of my maternal grandparents were one of 14 children! I, ashamedly, seldom think of my great-grandparents, but I was filled with awe and admiration for them that week.

[Lisa@All That and a Box of Rocks]

We're on...."Captain's Log..Snow day five, yes FIVE". Practically unheard of in Memphis. Even though it has been above freezing the past 3 days, our street is STILL ice covered. How is that even possible?!?!

I have a laundry basket of mismatched gloves and I'm not even sure where some of them came from!

[Megan]

We are on Day 2 of no school here in Charlottesville (well, Albemarle County) and given that we are supposed to get more snow tonight, looks like there won't be school tomorrow, either. I am trying to convince my co-workers that we need to put all these kids to work cleaning up our storage room. Oh, and we could get up to 20 inches this weekend. We got two feet in December. There may not be school again until June.

Didn't the Ingalls family live out in the middle of nowhere? See, I think what saved Ma from losing her mind was that there were no neighborhood kids to come over.

[Janelle]

We usually have snow from mid November until April or so depending... By January my kids have lost 3 right handed mittens each and 2 hats and are wearing adult size one because they are the only ones left and they keep falling down over their eyes. Yes, by January I am praying for an early spring!

[UKCraftySal]

We had 3 snow days the first week of January, only 2 days after school started. On the south coast of England, snow is very unusual indeed, and usually consists of a short shower that melts on impact with the ground.

We were all so excited. But, like you, after the first few hours we were all out of dry gloves etc. My son's friend (unbeknown to me) started wearing a pair of my son's socks as mittens. We found them under a drift 8 days later when the snow melted!!

The snow came so quickly, falling onto already dangerously icy roads. We live on a hill which became impassable in half an hour, and my son's 15 year-old girlfriend was already here. She was snowed in with us for 2 nights...!

[Christal Anderson]

http://vilda.alaska.edu/cdm4/item_viewer.php?CISOROOT=/cdmg2&CISOPTR=2534&REC=9 From the past

I lived in this town for more than a decade. (But the snow plow crew was fantastic. I only got stuck once in a Subaru.) I know exactly what you're experiencing. : - )

[Donna]

We don't have snow here........ever. Just thought that might cheer you up! lol
Donna from Australia

[Paige]

Right there, that's why winter is NOT my favorite season. The coats, the gloves, the wet stuff, the boredom--all of it. I hope you survive.

[Heather Jirka]

That's why we live at the beach- on the west coast. No snow,ever.

Good luck!

[kyooty]

Always buy a house that has a hill build in just for this purpose, then you don't have to drive them to the hill. If the snow is Frozen on to the mits (gloves are useless) it's good, they aren't wet they are frozen, and the frozen will keep the heat inside the the mits. snow pants? in your climbs, splash pants (lined) will work. Your Hubbie did well to get unstuck. Snow is fun! i've got 6-9more weeks of this I'm sure.

[Stephanie]

I feel your pain. We are on snow day 3 in NC, and the only real drag is that I can't keep up with picking up after them and the neighbor kids....between the kitchen messes and the slushy floors, and drying all the snow gear so they can go back out! Oh well, they promise there will be school tomorrow! On another note, I have beem going through your archives looking for your ice coffee recipe. Can you help me find it, or repost it. I am a big hot coffee drinker, but tried an iced coffee while out the other day and it was delish. I am sure it was loaded with sugar and calories though, so I want to make my own. My first time commenting, and I love your blogs, both here and at ELFF.