It's Official: We are the Family that The Neighborhood Hates

Every spring we have trouble with a woodpecker. For whatever reason, this bird - and I'm not, of course, certain that it's the same one, for I don't hang out on the roof of the house - chooses our particular chimney to drill excessively. And by excessively I mean for hours and hours, beginning before dawn and continuing until lunch. Thanks to the construction of our house - meaning that we built on - the chimney is now, on the second level, moving through my little girls room. So, I think you can see where this is going.

The damned bird wakes all of us up. And when my one very special little girl isn't happy, the rest of us are in a special kind of hell. Did I forget to mention that the part of the chimney that the woodpecker attacks is metal? Yeah. It's like that.

So we've tried lots of things to get the woodpecker to leave. This years special effort included my little girls screaming up the chimney - Go away, stupid woodpecker. This is OUR house, not yours and there's no way you are going to get in here! My son has tossed a tennis ball at the bird, who flies away and then returns.

Last year, my husband bought air horns for my kids. Why? you may ask, and you'd be well within your rights. Who in their right mind would buy a bunch of kids flippin' AIR HORNS? My husband, that's who. The "FUNNER" parent.

So when I was desperate to rid us of this winged hazard, I looked around for something, anything, to use to scare it away. And when my eyes landed on the above mentioned air horns - hidden safely in an upper cabinet, away from the kids - I thought for sure that a quick shot of compressed, very LOUD air - might do the trick. Scare the bird away once and for all. 

I don't know about the bird, but my neighbors may never be the same again.

________________________

After 6 days of being ill, and coughing up a lung last night - and no sleep - I caved today and went to the Doc in the Box, over my hatred of the place. To my delight, there was a wonderful young female doctor, who was awesome. I have bronchitis, a sinus infection, and the funniest thing - asthma.
"Does anyone in your family have asthma?" HAHAHAHAHA - so now I have a z pack, my OWN inhaler, steroids and nasal spray, as well as codeine cough stuff.  Goooooood times. But I should feel like my own self by tomorrow - in time to get on a plane for Fitbloggin'!

Comments

[KG]

Oh my, birds can be soooooooo stubborn!

Sorry about your asthma, but good thing you got a diagnosis & some meds!!

Hope you have an AWESOME time @ fitblogger-
can't wait to hear all about it!

[amie]

I know you dont like pets, but a cat would probably do the trick on the woodpecker.

[Headless Mom]

With that cocktail you should be feeling better in no time! Have fun at FB!

[kalisa]

HAHAHA! You're like Drum getting rid of the birds for Shelby's wedding! Maybe you should try firecrackers!!

[Pete]

I would love to get your Funner Parent's view of the air horn purchase decision.

Beyond that, if the metal is aluminum sheeting, could you hook up a low, but jolt-to-beak, voltage battery to the piece of metal to dissuade the 'pecker assault (Michael Scott aside: "that's what she said)? That may do the trick.

[Debby Pucci]

That is a funny story. With some luck your neighbors may not have been home! I have severe asthma, sorry about yours :( I just wish they would supply me with the z-pack.
I can't stand going in when I'm really sick when I already know that I need a z-pack!

[Denise]

Go to the hardware store and get one of those fake owls that you can mount on your roof or top of your chimney. That should do the trick! Says the one who also has some silly woodpecker who gets our one awning every year! hehehe I need to get one too!

[Katherine]

SO GLAD you went to the doctor. And I am NOT whispering while I type this. ;)

Funny about the woodpecker - we have a crabapple tree in our backyard. One year a woodpecker decided it was the perfect place to peck. Like the one at your house, it went on for hours. I thought it was pretty cool, myself (it wasn't on the house, wasn't early and was on wood) - but this woodpecker drove my elderly neighbor (God rest her soul, and I loved and miss her so much) CRAZY. One day she came over and fussed at me. YOU HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR DAMN WOODPECKER. Ummm, MY woodpecker? I really miss my neighbor very much - she had spunk, she loved my daughter and would bring her in for tea parties. But she hated my damn woodpecker!

[Nina]

We have a woodpecker, too. It has tried to drill into our siding on more than one occasion. I think the squirrels scare it away though.

[mm]

Well I will admit I did giggle first at your woodpecker problem. I am just evil like that. But over the years we have had issues with rabbits, squirrels, sea gulls, crows, and mice in our yard. Over time it can really wear a person down. But I have found that doing a "google" very often finds an answer.

So looking it up, somebody suggests under "woodpecker deterrent" hanging strips of shiny cloth from the eaves. This will cause birds to be nervous- they will flee at the first motion. If you wanted to be crafty I guess you could put up some kind of cool MTTSM flag I suppose. See how your neighbours feel about that, lol.

That or hang some poor innocent scarecrow up there. After that I got nothing. hahaha

[Kati]

This isn't going to make it any less annoying, but I can tell you why the woodpecker does what it does. You happen to be in it's territory, and the noise of it's drilling means "This place is mine, go away unless you are a girl, in which case hubba hubba.". Chimneys, gutters, tile - all of these things have resonance and help the message sound bigger and badder.

Again, sorry. My ornithology mentor is a woodpecker expert, so I probably know more about them than is healthy. And I only know ways to attract, not repel, them. (I've got a male that has our house squarely in it's territory and is trying to convince his honey that the birdbox right outside our window is the place to settle down and raise a family. Fingers crossed!)

uh, yeah, I'm a geek!

[Mongoose]

I was gonna say what Kati did, but... she just did. As far as stopping the noise, you'll never get rid of the bird, but if you were to enclose the chimney in a mesh cage about an inch bigger than said chimney, it should be impossible for woodpeckers to reach it, without interfering with the chimney's function. Ask a chimney expert for advice.

[kyooty]

one spring we had a bird try to build a nest on a grape Vine Decoration hanging on that front door. I would have to go out and in that door about 4 times a day to move all the straw out of the wreath.

The Codiene? remember your fibre :)

[Amy]

we have a piliated woodpecker having a party in our poplar tree out front. The tree is not in great health so I'm assuming loaded with bugs....we now have sheets of bark large enough to look twice at in the grass to make sure it's not an alligator (which is highly unlikely in NH) but you get the idea of the kind of damage this behemoth is doing to the tree. They are not nearly as cute as woody woodpecker!

[WarsawMommy]

Stupid bird.

I have no advice, except I must admit: I am very happy that your air horns are nowhere near me. I don't know about the bird, but you'd scare ME off forever!

[Tricia]

We have a woodpecker, too! And it is definitely not going anywhere fast. Those little buggers can be SO LOUD. And he hits different parts of the house, depending on his mood, I suppose. I guess he bores easily.

Oh, and my husband is the "funner" one as well. He'd buy air horns in a heartbeat, I just don't think he's thought of it yet. I will not be letting him read this post, even though I do love your stuff. You understand. My little guy is 3. Air horn + 3 y.o. = ear drum explosions.