A Weekend in Reflection

Like all weekends, it was busy. Very, very busy. But I had a lot of time to think.

I took Riley to a birthday party. It was only the third birthday party that she's attended - other than siblings. It took place at one of those indoor jumping things - mass chaos, hot,loud and overwhelming. We had the party card for a month before I decided if she'd go to the party.

Our last experience with this facility did not end well.

In fact, I took her out of there screaming and yelling, got slapped in the face and hit with a shoe. She cried all the way home and for about an hour after. It was a Perfect Storm of a Sensory Overload for a SPD kid and I vowed that we'd not come back soon.

But the birthday invitation card arrived - sent to the entire class by an absolute SAINT of a mother, whose child is kind to my daughter and, in fact, his was the first ever party she went to last year. (That one didn't go so well. A gymnastics place, where my daughter sat on the side and watched. And participated minimally.) She carried the card all around and we talked about the party, but I was still unsure. And so I called the mother to see who was going and give her a little heads up about my kid, in case we had to make an unexpected and hasty exit. I chatted with my daughter and we went over the concepts of "too much noise and how to handle it" - tell Mom you want to leave and we are out of there.

But my girl did beautifully. She laughed, she played, she followed the rules and had a ball. I'm sure that the other parents thought I was crazy - this over protective mom who kept her eyes on her daughter the entire time and asked over and over, You ok? Doing alright? Need to leave? Each and every time, she smiled and nodded yes. Was I making too much of it? Munchhausen by Proxy, anyone?

Her soccer coach was in attendance and we talked about my daughter, and she asked if I was comfortable giving her the history - I'd mentioned it briefly when soccer first started, and she was curious. As I told the story of her diagnosis, I could see others listening to the story - but it was ok. That story is her history, not her future. I'm comfortable with telling the story.

As I told the story, I looked all around at the kids. Kindergartners all, they seemed so young and so innocent. I thought ahead to the next event on my agenda - Senior Student/Parent banquet. A day set aside to honor the graduates, who, crazily enough, seemed hardly old enough to be away from the bounce houses. The party goers didn't notice my nostalgia. They slid and jumped, bounced and laughed - no thoughts of Grade Point Averages, college acceptances or moving out of the house. My kindergartner is just beginning, and my son is completing his school career. But, in a funny way, those kids were beginning, just as the kindergartners were, and even, really - we are all beginning something. 

I wish I could figure out how to get past the beginning.

Comments

[Headless Mom]

Carmen!!! I didn't realize that you are in the same spot (ending and beginning) that I was 2 years ago. Duh. It's quite the trip, isn't it?

[becky d.]

wonderful story!! brought a tear to my eye -- it is like when i am at work and we have a student on the autism spectrum initiate a conversation...so many changes, and this one was a surprisingly, wonderfully good one :)

[moosh in indy.]

Aw man, your warm fuzzies just landed all over me. AND I JUST SHAVED.

[MB Squared]

Here's to new beginnings...I am glad to hear everything went so well at the birthday party.

[Tammy/Photos by Tammy]

Awesome. It sounds like she is adjusting so well.
Your last thoughts reminded me what Mom must have been thinking when Davy had graduated then it was my turn the same year Levi began kindergarten.

[kyooty]

YAY! for successful party going. :) Also I'm sure the oldest is also going to have to wade through the "new and different" party going atmosphere next... :)

[Jessica]

I am amazed at how far people have come. When Bryant was a young tot, I didn't/wasn't comfortable explaining all of the issues with him to people, and why we duck out early, and why I was always hovering over him, in order to nab him up and out the door as soon as he 'colored outside of the lines' I didn't want him labeled more so from his peers or parents. I wanted him to be normal. The teachers didn't really understand, mad at me cuz I wouldn't medicate him so that they could handle him. That wasn't the issue people. UGH. Now a days, it just seems like there are more children out there with some sort of SPD, they aren't hiding, and once you have a kid with it, you can totally eye them out at functions, and make sure you give them an extra minute or two. I like this. I wish it was like this when my child was growing up. I am glad you had a success.

[Gina]

Yippee for Riley!!! What a huge step!

[Brenda]

Oh, yes, I remember when we had that kind of year -- one in k, and the other a high school senior....from crayons to calculus!

[amie]

Hooray for Riley (and Carmen)! One of those bouncy house party places opened in our town the year my twins were in kindergarten. Every classmates bday party was held there for months,eventually we made a joke of the name & dubbed it "Coco's House of Sweat". Before the year was over two of A&W's classmates had broken arms there. While I thank goodness our family has outgrown that stage, definitely am not ready for prom, graduation stage. YIKES!

[Jenn E]

"That story is her history, not her future. I'm comfortable with telling the story."

Thank you for saying this when I needed to hear it.

J

[Cathy]

My 2 year old is totally freaked out by the monkey character at our local inflatable play place.

I also have a 7 year old and a 16 year old. I find myself at skate nights and awards ceremonies for the 7 year old thinking about the futures of those little kids and how much things are going to change for them in the next 10 years....it always makes me a little misty eyed.

[Katherine]

The May Procession was today. Despite the LACK OF GLADIOLAS AND THE TEENY TINY LITTLE CARNATIONS THEY CARRIED (ahem).... it was moving. (NOT AS MOVING AS IF THEY HAD HELD FLOWERS UP OVER THE FIRST COMMUNION CHILDREN) (ahem) Sorry I digress... as I was saying... from the moving day to your post... now I'm all choked up!

[Frances]

Riley has come such a long way. It is really nice to see her smile and laugh in the cafeteria with all the other kids. She says Hi to me which makes me feel good. She still likes me, I guess. Lol

[watches]

Oh, yes, I remember when we had that kind of year -- one in k, and the other a high school senior....from crayons to calculus!