An Interview with My Mom

In honor of Mother's day, I decided to turn the tables a bit. After all, you guys read about me and my meanderings every day, and it is time for a switch up. So I decided to interview my mom. Here are her answers, and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to anyone who wipes a tear, bandages a scrape, drives a carpool, washes laundry at midnight, shields a child from a buffet, and hides her sorrow when the words of a kid drive too deeply.         

• When did you first find out you'd be a parent? How did you feel?
  I can't say I was happy to find out I was going to be a mother as I was not married and in 1969 that was a big deal. Once we got married and started to prepare I was happy, especially as my sister was expecting at the same time
• Can you describe the moment when you saw your child for the first time? The doctor had told me I was in false labor and had them give me an injection, I went to sleep and the next thing I knew was I woke up and told my husband, this baby is coming! He went to get the nurse, one of my classmates, who to humor me came to check me and started rolling me to the delivery room. It wasn't long before she was born, I remember how small she looked and thinking how on earth would I ever manage?
• How has being a parent changed you? Being a parent means planning ahead, making sacrifices and not always getting to do the things you want to do and not always having time to yourself. Being a mom is one of the hardest things you will ever do, at the same time one of the
  most rewarding.
• Do you remember when I left home for good? Oh yes, I do and your dad has never forgiven me for letting you move out but you had graduated, had a job and could support yourself. That was the criteria. I also remember the first time you went to the grocery store, you called home and said, "Mom, I spent $60 and I still don't have anything to eat!" Welcome to the real world.
• Do you have any favorite stories about your kids? I think some of our funnest times were at day camp; all the kids trying to see who could get the dirtiest and all of us trooping into Carvel and air conditioning when we were so dirty from cleaning up camp. We also had a lot of fun planning the homecomings for your dad.
• How did you choose my name? I had a patient with that name,it was a new one to me and I really liked it and your dad liked it also, though your grandmother Dorothy wanted to call you Patty.
• What was I like as a baby? You were a easy baby,which was good as I went back to school when you were 6 months old and Kathy watched you for the summer while your dad went to Officer Candidate School. You had to have your "pad" with you at all times and I have pictures of you standing out by the clothes line hanging on to it when I had to wash it. As a young child, you never met a stranger. Everywhere we went you would come up within a few minutes with a new best friend! You were a big help with your sister, you were 15 months old when she was born. She was your baby even after she was as big as you. When we lived in Pensacola and the two of you were supposed to be taking a nap, you both wrote on the wall above you bed as high as you could reach making us have to paint the walls of a rental house! The two of you were always trying to outdo one another.
• What were the hardest moments you had when I was growing up?
  When you turned 11 and decided that mom was the dumbest person ever, and couldn't possibly know how you were feeling. I got smarter after you had children! Actually after you became a nanny.
• What advice would you give anyone about raising their own kids?
  Don't sweat the small stuff and pick your battles. I think I fought them all but in hind sight, some did not matter. You have to set boundaries then be consistent. Don't move the line just because it would be easier. Both parents need to be on the same page, don't let the kids divide and conquer and the most important thing is to allow time to be you, to pamper yourself, to be good to yourself. Spend time with your husband and alone with yourself, to recharge and refuel so you can be a better mother. I remember reading an article in one of the mothering magazines back in the eighties, asking the question, "who takes care of mom?" and the answer was, other mom's so mom's everywhere need to quit thinking that taking care of themselves makes them a selfish person. It makes you happier, healthier, and better able to fight the battles.
• What do you do for a living? I am a registered nurse,a case manager in the orthopaedic  clinic, doing the preop teaching for patients having surgery, especially those having their joints replaced. I tell everyone my job is to keep patients from falling through the cracks and keep the level of you know what below the ankles of the doctors.
• Tell me about how you got into your line of work. Most of my career I worked in hospital on orthopaedic wards, mostly the night shift so I could be home with the kids if I was needed and available for after school activities. I was working on the orthopaedic ward when the daytime job came open for the clinic and was recommended for the job and this is something I can do for a long time.
• Do you like your job? Love my job, love coming to work most days even though there are times I would like to unplug the phone...
• What did you want to be when you grew up? From the age of 12, the only thing I ever wanted to do was become a nurse.
• What lessons has your work life taught you? I think the best lesson I've learned is not to sweat the small stuff, that in the long run, most of it doesn't matter or will even be remembered.One of the Navy chaplains at a memorial service summed it up by saying, "we all need to live as if we will be missed."
• If you could do anything now, what would you do? I have achieved most of my big goals. I have a list of 108 things to do before I die, of which 47 remain but 12 of those will be accomplished this year. What I really want to do is go to Ireland and England and that is going to happen soon with my oldest grandson as a graduation present. I hope to remain healthy enough to take the other 10 grandchildren on graduation trips. Why? Why not? I feel it is important to keep active, to stay busy to be a healthier happier person. I want to look at what I can do, not what I can't.
• What was the happiest moment of your life? I don't know if I can pick just one moment. Of course the day I graduated from Nurse's training was a happy one, a goal achieved. Then of course my wedding da. The birth of each of my daughters definitely were happy times as were the birth of each of the grandchildren.
• What are you most proud of? That all my daughters have high school diplomas, are self
  sufficient and confident adults; that maybe I had a little to do with their accomplishments. For myself I am proudest of my obtaining my Master's degree at age 59.
  
• What are the most important lessons you've learned in life? That in order to see a rainbow, you have to have the rain; you can't appreciate the joys without some sorrow. A motto that I have on my desk says it all, What we see depends on what we're looking for. Expect the best. That is what I try to do but I'm not always successful.
• What is your earliest memory? My earliest memory is of my first day of school. I can't remember
  what I wore but I remember sitting in the old fashioned school desks with the ink
  well, wishing I could have my own bottle of ink and wanting to learn to read, which I did rather quickly. Most of my early memories have to do with school and helping others learn to read.
• How would you like to be remembered? I hope that I can be remembered as someone who could be counted on to do what she said she would; that hopefully I made a difference in someone's life.

Comments

[Katherine]

Oh WOW. This is amazing, Patty! Ummm Carmen. I sent questions to mom but don't think she has even opened her email. I might sit her down tonight after church to do this. I got teary, I chuckled, and smiled a lot reading this. Your mom ROCKS. I would love to see her bucket list!

[kyooty]

What a fabulous post idea! My Mom is an RN too, I think at the time it was one of the most popular women's professions that was a professional goal.

[Tammy/Photos by Tammy]

Happy Mother's Day Carmen, and of course to my favorite aunt! Beautiful post! Love you both!

[Athanasia]

She got her Master's at age 59?!?? WOW! I am impressed. This is my first Mother's Day without my Mom who died November 5th. Thanks for doing this Carmen. It is good!

[janice moss]

I wish I had interviewed my mom this way, i do have a book where i had her to help me fill part of it out, i treasure it

[mm]

Go Carmen's Mom! To have a bucket list and be working on it steadily. Sometimes we just get so caught up in the day-to-day we don't get to the fun things.

What would your bucket list be?

Happy Mothers Day!

[addy]

Happy Mothers Day to Carmen and to Carmen's Mom!! You both are amazing.

[Debby Pucci]

Carmen this is a beautiful post. What a sweet idea. I was brought to tears with her answers on getting her masters at 59 and that in order to see a rainbow, you have to have the rain; you can't appreciate the joys without some sorrow.
Happy Mother's Day

[Karen (from Our Deer Baby)]

Thanks for sharing your mom with us and happy mother's day to both of you!

I am considering going back to school and your mom will be my inspiration. Nice to 'meet' you, Carmen mom,

Karen

[Headless Mom]

Happy day to both of you. I love that she's taking the grandkids on graduation trips-so cool!

Her next guest post should be her 108 things to o before she dies. I'd love to see that!

[hollywood housewife]

I love your mom's answers! She seems like someone I would like to know. I used some of your questions over at my blog, and loved hearing how my mom answered. This was a great idea for Mother's Day!

[Omega]

Thanks for sharing your mom with us and happy mother's day to both of you