I Want to Remember

Mother's Day was spectacular.

I woke my little girls, who begged and pleaded to be able to give me their gifts. I opened the bags to see:

• one Horses mini calendar, with some of the days that have already passed crossed off - and my girls birthdays marked
• 4 mini pens from the pen drawer
• a foam picture frame, holding a snapshot of them with their friends
• 4 used lipglosses - because they know I'm a lipgloss freak
• 2 of their cd's - "the ones you really like, Mom!"
• handwritten coupons for "Lots of hugs and kiss!"

All wrapped in a scarf that's not part of the gift, Mommy! You can't keep it, it's mine.

I want to remember every minute of this.

Gabriel gave me a rubber band ball that he's creating, because he knows that I need rubber bands for tie dye. Nik gave me a sunshade for my car. Mackenzie gave me earrings, and all of my children gave me a good time. 

 

We put on the music and laughed, danced and sang. I'd post the rest of the pictures, but we were all moving so fast that they are blurry.

I want to remember every minute of this.

For dinner, we went to a neighbor's house, where my kids ran like crazy people and jumped in a bounce house for three hours. It was tons of fun - until it wasn't, and my little girl lay on the grass, sobbing, "I want to go to my house! I just want my own house!"

And so I carried a sobbing ball of little girl home in my arms, and popped her in the tub as she cried and cried. Knowing that singing calms her, I began to sing Baby Beluga and The Wheels on the Bus - the 2 songs that always calmed her - and my other girl began to cry as well. And then they howled.

It may have had something to do with the exhaustion, but, yes, my voice is really that awful

So I pulled down deep in my memory and sang two songs that my dad used to sing to me.

Irene good night, Irene, good night. Good night, Irene,                                                                    
good night, Irene, I'll see you in my dreams.                                                                                      
Sometimes I live in the country, sometimes I live in the town,                                                            
sometimes I get the fool notion, to jump in the river and drown.                 

And then this beauty, which he really sang to my sister, but I borrowed it:

My little girl, she got sleepy, and she went upstairs to bed                                                             
she put her glass eye upon the table, and her false teeth under her head                                         
she put her wooden leg upon the dresser and her golden curls upon the chair                                      
My little girl, you know I love you, though you're scattered everywhere                  

Yeah. I have odd memories. I'm cool with that.

And. slowly, they both stopped crying. We washed sweaty heads and grass stained feet - I want to remember this -  wiped snotty noses and covered chubby bellies with lotion. My other kids called to me, asking me this or that - I want to remember this - fighting amongst themselves over the right to the computer and who ate the last something or another. "I have homework!" "The phone's for you!" "Can you bring me the camera cord?" I carried tired bodies up the stairs and tucked them into bed, as they sank gratefully into soft beds and rested on clean pillowcases.

I want to remember this.

It's my life. It's stressful and loud, harrowing and oddly gratifying. It's laughter to the point of tears, dancing in the kitchen and scrubbing grass stains from between stinky feet. It's singing and crying, arguing and hugging.

It's Motherhood. It's dirty.

And it's mine.

Comments

[Headless Mom]

Beautiful!

[KG]

Can you sing to me too because now I'm in tears....
Happy Mother's Day Carmen!

[A Simple Twist of Faith]

Wow, Carmen, that is what it is all about,cherish those moments.

[liz]

Gorgeous.

[Brandy]

I think sometimes we are so busy living our lives we forget to stop and savor the moments. You seem to do that well. Wonderful post.

[addy]

Amazing! And now I'm crying.

[kyooty]

what a great post!!! you have me in tears. hugs for your little exhausted girls!

[Jodi]

Those kinds of days are the best!

I wish in my next life to have double the kids I have now. They truly do bless our lives.

[Jodie]

Awwwwww

Thanks for reminding me how much I love my kids, even in the difficult moments.

[Kira]

So beautiful. Happy (belated) Mother's Day!

[Paige]

Sweet! I love the present that they find around the house, wrapped in a scarf that is NOT part of the present!

[Young Wife]

Everyone looks so happy in the pictures! Sounds like a pretty great Mother's Day.

[IWC Replica]

Thanks for reminding me how much I love my kids, even in the difficult moments.

[UKCraftySal]

This is so lovely, it made me cry.

[Angela]

Dad's (and Grandpa's) songs....now THOSE are the good memories. I regret I don't remember any of them except the one above about the little girl...I regret I will never have the chance to hear them ever again.

Such a beautiful post.