I'm Pretty Sure This Isn't the Meaning of "The Counting of The People"

So, sometime in March, I think, I received my official paper in the mail. You know the one I mean, the counting one. The one that counts everyone in the whole country. Wanting to do my part, I got it out of the mailbox and sat in the van to fill it out. I then dropped it into the big blue mail box not ten minutes later, on my way to boxing class.

I did my part. I was confident and secure. If you fill out the form, honestly and accurately, all of the radio and tv commercials say that's the end of it. And it was easy. I understand why they need to count it, and it really was easy. I was glad to do it.

So why did I start getting phone calls from the "Official Counting People" organization, two and three a day, starting in May?

I avoided the calls for a while. I mean, every.single.time I turned on the news, it was to a caution. "The "Official Counting People" won't call you if you fill out the form. Don't believe anyone who says that they are calling from there." So I didn't believe and I didn't return the calls.

Until, last week, when I received four calls in one day. And I was pissy, for the calls were the kind that required me to return a call from a recorded number. My own personal philosophy is that if you need to call me, call me - don't call me and demand that I call you back. But I was tired of getting all of these STUPID calls, and so I finally called back. Here's the beginning of the conversation between me and a woman we will call Patience - for she surely tried mine.

Me: I'm returning your call?

Patience: We have some questions concerning your form. It was incomplete and unacceptable to us.

Me: How ridiculous. I filled it out myself. There was not one blank spot.

Apparently, the form was flagged because I wrote that I had 6 kids and 2 adults. The "Official Counting People" were unsure if I was AWARE that I was actually declaring, to the point of perjury, that all of these people lived in my house on April 1. Yes. I was sure. Was I very sure? Yes. I was very sure.

How sure was I?

Who was (hubby's name?) Was he in my home on April 1?

Who was Nikolas? How was he related to my husband? Biological, adopted, foster or stepson? Was he living in the house on April 1? Was I certain?

Who was Allegra? How was she related to my husband? Biological, adopted, foster or stepdaughter? Was she living with us? Was I certain?

This was repeated for each and every one of the members of my family. Then the next part of the conversation happened.

Patience: Was (hubby's name) residing in a jail on April 1? Was he residing in a mental facility? Was he residing in an assisted facility? Was he in the service residing out of the country?

No. I already answered this. Then we went through this ENTIRE EXACT set of questions again.

FOR EACH MEMBER OF MY FAMILY.

I attempted to cut her off by saying,"I've already answered this - every person lived in my house."

Except that doesn't matter - for she's required to ask me each question. I was tempted to say that I WANTED to reside in a mental facility, but I don't think she would have laughed. 

Then she wanted to ask about my two little girls. With an accusatory bent to her voice, she said, "You didn't indicate how Emma and Riley are related to your husband." Maybe that's because there's no ROOM on the form for info about more than 4 kids, you know? I'd have gladly answered it - if there was a section. After four kids, there's just a blank for names. So then we got to the REALLY fun part.

I know. You thought we'd already reached the fun part, right? YOU WISH.

Who is Emma? What is her relationship? Biological, adopted, foster or step daughter??  Did she reside in our home on April 1?

Didn't we already go through this?

Ma'am, just answer the questions. So I did. Then we moved to Riley, and I had had enough.

So I attempted to answer them all at once - She's his biological daughter who lived with us in this house on April 1 - and I was summarily ignored as each question was repeated verbatim.

I always wondered before at people who wouldn't answer the "Official People Counting" decree - and now I not only understand, but I'd be willing to join them in solidarity.

Comments

[KatieButler]

Insanity. (The Census person, to be clear).

[Elaine]

I talked to them today and flat out refused to answer any of their questions. I told them I was uncomfortable giving out personal information over the phone, had filled out the form and therefore, my responsibility was over. I then said this about 15 more times. She simply could not understand. Then I told her to remove me from the list and she informed me that she couldn't do that and they would just keep calling back until I completed the interview. I told her that I guess I'd just have to stop answering my phone and hung up.

Seriously people. I FILLED OUT THE DERN FORM!

In other words, I feel your pain.

[Jodi]

I just went through all those questions too but the guy who called me was really nice.

[Carrie]

We filled ours out and sent it in on time. My husband got a call similar to yours. We have five children and he had to do the same thing your describing. It made me a bit uncomfortable that he answered these questions over the phone especially since we sent the form in on time and were under the impression that filling out the form and sending it in on time would mean they would leave us alone.

[Sabz]

We have six people in the house - us, kids, in-laws. I've mailed out my form & hopefully that's the end of it. :) my husband's uncle is one of these people making these calls (I kid u not) I should call him up & ask how it's going ;)

[Karen from A Glimpse Into My Reveries]

It's a sad fact illustrated here that the average intellegence age of the general public is 5th grade.
To take your answer that the answers were the same for each and every family member and go ahead and fill out the form in front of him without additional input from you, would have required a depth of thinking and memory beyond the majority of the people out there!
Hope I didn't just insult all the 5th graders out there! lol

[Marjie]

Wow! I think at about two minutes into that conversation I would have not so politely hung up on her!

[mel]

maybe photocopy said form in the future for kids 5, 6 +?

[MJ]

We had the exact thing happen too, although, we didnt have the multiple callings. They wouldnt talk to me since hubster filled out the form. We thought maybe we got such fun to endure since we have more kids than fit in the blanks. Guess we were wrong on that count. He did say to them, ive already stated to you they all lived here, they are all my biological children. it was maddening.

[Jaelithe]

Well, annoying phone mazes and unsympathetic workers are certainly not going to boost the Census Bureau's public relations.

Why oh why can our government not convince more of its workers to treat us as though we paid their salaries? (Because we do, in fact, pay their salaries. How do they forget?)

Anyway I'm glad I filled out my form because I want to be counted for so many good reasons. But if they call me and act annoying I will totally record it and post it on the internet.

[amanda]

The same thing happened to me! I work for another branch of DoC and they sent us the dire warnings about how much it cost the taxpayers if we didn't fill out the form. So, I filled mine out completely and correctly, and then I got the call. The repetition is inane. I don't understand how this helps them be complete and accurate. At some point, I made the guy really mad, screaming as he read off each possible race- HE'S WHITE, OKAY, HE'S WHITE! Then he scolded me about how he was trying to do his job accurately. Such a waste of taxpayer dollar. Argh. And I'm sure they don't want to read the whole question each time, either.

[kyooty]

Doesn't this sound like a overuse of tax payers money?I think it's time to call the President! ask him these questions...(and I don't care WHO the president is, it's his job)

[Bridget]

That's just annoying.

[Mary]

We got the call too. I refused to answer and hung up. Figure if they want to know so much they can come to the door (and maybe I'll answer it).

But you know what REALLY gripes me? The IRS. Third year in a row they have reduced our refund because one or more of our "dependents" social security number doesn't match.

So every year, I have to call and play guess which child they claim we don't really have. Fix it over the phone and then wait for a corrected refund check.

Ya think they would correct the social security number in the system - especially as it is THEIR error.

[Megan]

WOW. I and one of my co-workers had to deal with some Census workers as part of my job, and I came away from the experience convinced that the Census Bureau is incompetent and unprofessional. I no longer have much trust in their numbers. It's unfortunate, because I do think there's a lot of value in knowing how many people live in an area, is the population growing or shrinking, how many are African-American, Hispanic, etc, how many have insurance or certain health conditions (though I don't know how they're going to update that information since the form didn't ask those things.) And I never understood the people who swore the form was intrusive or unconstitutional or any of that. I live by myself, the form took 2 minutes and to be honest, since this was my first Census (I was 17 in 2000), I was kind of excited about it.

But what you're describing is just insane and a waste of tax dollars.

I'm also wondering if some of the random calls I've been getting lately, that I've ignored and the caller has not left a voicemail, were from the Census idiots.

[Jackie]

I have six kids as well, and I began getting the calls too. I also finally got sick of it and called them back. And was I ever bitchy!! After the same script that you wrote about, I ended up telling him to stop calling and harrassing me and what a huge waste of taxpayer money this was...and on and on until I finally hung up!

[Paige]

They called me, too. Why do they bother sending out the forms if they are just going to call and bother me. What a waste of money!

[Amy @ TasteLikeCrazy]

Wanna know something funny?

I filled out the entire 10 question form...except for that pesky question about my phone number.

I figured if they *really* wanted to know something, they could show up at our apartment and face my wrath. And the 70lb pit bull behind me who would be barking like a fool. I just wouldn't tell the person Sophie would just try to lick them to death.

Census taking is in the Constitution but that's just about oounting people. You don't need my familial relation to someone or how many toilets I have in my house.

Or am I the only one who thinks that? ;)

[Angela (@AngEngland)]

How dare you have more than 1.8 children! What were you thinking! Obviously you must be lying.

My parents went through this the one year they filed EIGHT dependants - my baby brother had just been born and I was still a full time student - yes eight. The IRS wanted to let them know they could only claim six. My dad was like - that's AWESOME! Which one do you want to pay for then? The one who's about to get married or the baby still in diapers?

They were not amused.

Apparently being a government worker requires you to surrender your sense of humor.

[wookie]

Maybe they get paid by the word for the call? It's the only thing that would make sense.

[Melessa]

We had three houseguests who had overstayed their welcome when I filled out ours in addition to me, DH, and the 5 kids. It goes without saying that I got a phone call just like yours. I tried to cut corners too. At least she seemed sympathetic when I explained that the A family no longer iived with us and that I really wish they hadn't still been there April 1st either. But I still had to answer the same questions about all 10 of us.

[elaine]

We only have four in our family and the same thing happened. My husband called to respond to the recorded message confirming all the answers he had already filled out on the form. WHAT A WASTE OF OUR TAX MONIES when we are being asked to take pay cuts.

[A. who is happy to tell you how many live in her house, but that's it]

No, Amy, you're not the only who didn't put in her phone number. I didn't either. I never do. And I don't answer the door to people I don't know. Oh well.

I did, however, answer the form honestly and carefully, and when asked about my "race," I simply noted: "Human."

[Stephanie]

I was under the impression that the only information they were legally entitled to is the number of occupants residing at your address on April 1. Name, age, race, etc. have nothing to do with apportioning tax dollars or determining the number of representatives our state will have.

We returned our form (filled out correctly) within two days. Still got a knock on the door yesterday...one of the workers stood on the front porch smoking his cigarette while the other showed my husband an ID with a handwritten name and no photo. My 12 year old could have reproduced that on the laptop. They called my husband "Dude!" and then proceded to explain that we either didn't turn in our form as we said OR it had gotten lost because they wouldn't be here otherwise. Right. Hubby refused to answer any questions from them and just repeated "We have already mailed our form. Go find it."

Eventually, they left. But I'm sure they'll be returning. Now that I've read your comments, it's probably got something to do with the number of children we have!