What Can You Pack if You Can't Pack Peanut Butter?

I was recently asked to provide a list of peanut butter free lunches that this mother could pack for her child, who did not have food allergies but ate lunch in the classroom with peanut allergic children and, thus, was unable to pack the only meal that was acceptable to the child. Sounds fuzzy, but I think you can understand.

We first found out that Gabriel was allergic to peanuts and tree nuts when he was 18 months old. We could not figure out why he had hives much of the time, had 6 asthma attacks, and was often seen with swollen, runny eyes and a beet red face - and hands, when we went to one memorable party.

I left to buy some Benadryl.

We took him to a very recommended allergist at Children's Hospital and she did an extensive panel of tests on him, both skin and blood. He tested very, very allergic to dogs and cats,  tree nuts and coconut and mildly to peanuts. Since that time, we've scrupulously avoided all nuts and he's had a couple of accidental exposures. He's wildly afraid of that Epi Pen. :) (Note: testing this year removed almonds and coconut and we've challenged both successfully, but peanut has jumped WAY up there.)

I have a philosophy about my kids food allergy that might surprise you. It certainly has gotten me some arguments over the years.

His food allergy is not your food allergy. 

I once met a woman whose child had multiple anaphylactic food allergies, much like my own son. This woman cooked and baked every single food that her kid came in contact with, to the point that we weren't supposed to bring in treats for our own child's birthday - we were to allow her to make it all. She didn't want her child to feel left out, or like he was different.

But he is different. And he will always be different. And I won't always be there to protect him, to keep him safe, to screen his food. So I've taught him to read labels and check foods and to avoid when he's not sure. I do send in treats to store in the classroom and if he's not able to eat a special birthday treat, I make sure he gets something later. It's not an obsession, though - if he misses a treat, oh well. A treat isn't the end of the world.

So, long story long, that's my philosophy on food allergies.

But. Gabe is older and he eats at the Nut Free Table at school. I completely understand the philosophy behind a nut free classroom. I've never requested it, and when a teacher offered it to me, I didn't take her up on it. I am NOT saying it's a bad thing, I'm NOT saying you are wrong if you did so, so save the hate mail. You make your choices, I make mine. I'm trying to help my kid navigate the world long term - I don't want him to have a dynamic shift from "Everything is safe and wonderful" to "Now I have to be aware of labels and worry about food". In my mind, it needs to be the same story all along.

Here are some of Gabe's favorite things to take for lunch, and I'm betting that you can find one or two that your non peanut allergic child will enjoy eating.

• Tupperware bowl of cereal - buy milk at lunch, because milk in a thermos sometimes isn't so fresh
• String cheese, crackers and applesauce
• Soy butter/almond butter/sunflower butter - now, I know that those are acquired tastes, but start young, start early in the year, and mix it with peanut butter while at home, in order to slowly adjust the taste buds - beware that it takes time
• cheese and crackers and lunch meat cut into shapes
• frozen yogurt tubes and mini muffins
• chicken noodle soup in a thermos with goldfish to drop on top
• leftovers, such as spaghetti, in a thermos. Key to the thermos: fill it with boiling hot water and cap it. Let it sit for five or ten minutes. Dump out the water, insert the piping hot food, and seal it. Be aware that often a thermos can seal a bit too tightly with the heat

Do you have a meal that's nut free that your kids (or you!) enjoy that would pack easily? Share it with us!

Comments

[Headless Mom]

I agree with you on the allergy thing. Being aware is one thing, being obsessive is another. The kids *have to* learn how to manage it on their own, and starting early is a great way to keep him safe as he gets older. A friend with a severely allergic child recently sent him to a camp 3 states away from home-he's 11 and has learned how to manage it. It can be done!

[Elizabeth]

It is refreshing to see a parent with the attitude that their child's allergy isn't the responsibility of all the other parents. Not that I should/would go out of my way to endanger another child but their child's rights stop where my child's rights begin. Neither supersede the other; it is a balancing act.

Good suggestions for lunches, allergies or not. We also pack veggie chips as a snack.

[Jenni]

Not having any children to pack lunches for, I don't have much input, but I did want to stop in and, as a teacher, say THANK YOU! Thank you for teaching your child personal responsibility! It is so important that the children learn how to handle their own allergies. At some point they will be in an uncontrolled environment where you can't be and, if they aren't given the proper tools, the will make a dangerous decision for themself.

Now, I was a really picky lunch eater and HATED sandwiches. My mom sent me yogurt, thermos or soups, oh, and the one sandwich I would eat was grilled cheese, she'd send that as well. Pizza is always good too...I love cold pizza, so in my lunch it was a great treat!

[Kimberly]

We have a nut-free preschool, so even though we don't have allergies (well, we probably do, what with my older child's eczema, but since that is the only symptom, I am not stressing too much) we have to send nut-free food. My little kids LOVE sunflower seed butter. It is sweeter than peanut butter, and a bit fattier, but they scarf it down.

[madge]

Our whole SCHOOL is peanut-free and if you have a peanut allergic-kid in class it's an all-nuts-free classroom. As you can imagine, almost every available spot is given to a peanut-allergic kid from out of district. With the winding up to first day, I think I've gotten three emails and two snail mails about REMEMBER! WE! ARE! A! PEANUT! FREE! SCHOOL! Carmen, it's pretty nice to hear a parent with a calm, reasonable reality-based take on the matter. Oh, and the lunch tips are great too. Thanks!

[Imperatrix]

Cream cheese + a grated carrot, a chopped scallion, maybe a bit of garlic, some salt, pepper, and a bit of olive oil = veggie cream cheese! My girls liked it in wraps (tortillas). Easy peasy.

[Tish]

Son #2 doesn't like peanut butter, so he usually gets a sandwich with turkey & lettuce. No mayo, he prefers mustard. Insulated lunch bag with a re-freezable cooler thingie. We'll also sometimes freeze a small bottle of water or juice to keep things nice and chilled. He also loves to take a drumstick from a roast chicken. This week he's getting leftover hamburgers on buns.

When I taught, (K-3 primary school) we had 2 peanut free tables in the cafeteria. Otherwise the children watched out for their own intake (of course the teachers were aware, too). My feeling was that many parents listed "allergies" that had not been medically verified. Almost all our Muslim students were listed as allergic to pork.

[Lylah]

I have a kid with gluten allergies, another with gluten intolerances, and three more who are in nut-free classrooms. Some of the lunches I pack -- or used to pack, before the older ones started to pack their own lunches -- are:

*Cold Quesadillas (aka, cheese tortillas for the picky eaters)
*mini bagles with cream cheese
*English muffin pizzas
*Omlette
*Strips of whatever meat we had for dinner the night before, plus cheese sticks and carrot sticks
*Cut up Italian sausage and peppers
*Mac and cheese
*Chips, salsa, and guac
*Chicken salad and crackers
*hot dogs and cheese sticks.

[Lylah]

Oh, and I agree with you about "my kids allergies aren't your kids' allergies." I'm happy to accommodate others, but I don't expect others to accommodate mine, so the allergic ones know to read labels, ask questions, and pack a snack for themselves if they can't be sure that the food is "safe"...

[Liz]

Completely nut free school here. It's over the top.

[Becki]

I've relaxed a lot in the two years since my daughter was diagnosed. I really agree with the philosophy of preparing the child for the road, not the road for the child. Not everybody is going to be willing or able to be responsible for her safety, and she'll feel (and be) a lot more safe if she knows how to be responsible for it, herself.

[Carolyn]

Daughter's classmate from kindergarten on was peanut-allergic. In kinder, the mom sent a letter regarding treats which were parent-supplied and that time could be homemade. She also posted a pic of him by the phone w/ name & mom's # for any sub teacher. She also had the teacher keep a box of back-up snacks for him. At the age of 5 I can certainly see the importance of informing the grown-ups. By 5th grade, the boy (top student) certainly understood the drill, but the mom insisted the teacher that year read a certain book on peanut allergies. The TEACHER was allergic as well, and knew all about it, yet...well, like someone said, prepare the chile for the road, and keep a balance. I also don't understand family members of others I've known who think the parents are just over-protective, whether it's peanuts, soy, wheat, corn or whatever, and are disrespectful. No fair judging when truly a life could be at stake.

[Nicki]

I don't have to worry about the school setting until next year, but honestly we are working on the 4-year-old learning to ask if things have peanuts and he can identify certain foods that contain them and knows he can't have them.

All three of my kids have certain issues, and we have told them from the beginning that they have to learn how to work with their issues and monitor themselves because the world is not going to change for them, nor should it.

[Carolyn]

(oops - typo above - supposed to say prepare the CHILD for the road, not the CHILE, although chiles would probably be pretty tasty...)

[Layla]

My son is 12 and just started high school this year in Australia. He has always had severe peanut allergy.(Anaphalaxis)He lasted 3 days in high school as he has what is called equisite peanut allergy. He went from a school of 250 kids where it was well managed to 1200 kids. He had anaphalactic reaction straight away.He was also threatened with a peanut butter sandwich. Needless to say the doctors and allergist said that school was not an option and he has been doing distance education at home since then.I have always been responsible for my son and would hate for anyone to feel guilty if anything went wrong. It is hard though seeing him so lonely.

[Nelson's Mama]

"His food allergy is not your food allergy."

I totally loved this statement...I would never knowingly give a child that was allergic something, but when my girls were younger it really got me that parents that had severely allergic kids put the burden of what type of snacks that couldn't be sent into the class on parents that didn't deal with these issues.

[Issa]

I love that you don't make a big deal out of it. I don't either. Shrug. We found out a few months ago that Harrison is allergic to peanuts...although not hugely so. They'll retest him in a year. I still let my girls eat it, just not as much.

Now though, my kids school has gone peanut free this year. Which I guess I get. Makes it easier all around.

On other ideas (granted school just started for us today) mini bagels with cream cheese and ham. Cream cheese and jelly sandwiches. Turkey and cheese roll ups. My kids are big fans of anything wrapped in a tortilla. Cold pizza.

[R Hall]

Thank you for this post. I have a tn/pn allergic 8 year old. I often find myself in an odd place defending why I DON'T want a peanut free classroom or school.

I want my child to learn how manage his allergy NOW. All too soon he's going to be a young man out in the big world where I am not obsessively checking every single thing he touches or eats.

We talk a LOT. He wears his epi pen on a belt at all times and the school has an additional two stashed in the office. I have two in my purse at all times. His biphasic reaction is usually in less than 15 minutes. (He needs another dose of epi then for all you non-food allergy families.)

It often brings me to my knees when someone goes so out of their way to make sure Tommy is included. My FAVORITE food allergy story when my son was barely 4: The mom brought every single ingredient that went into the cupcakes in a box for me to inspect. Even the package from the paper liners. I never want anyone to go out of their way like that. Ever. I do not expect it. But I literally had to go off to my van for a tissue. That a mom would try to include my child who is already resigned to the fact that parties mean grabbing a safe snack from my purse... meant so much.

He's not a fan of reactions... but when you are 4 and see these huge gorgeous cakes everyone else gets to eat and you have a bobo snack from home... I know it's hard. More than once he held back the tears and stiffly said: I hate my allergies. :(

Things like: The mom that called me at 10 pm frantic to know what she could pack for her daughter's lunch so she could sit next to my son the next day.

I never expect that.

But the kindness means more than I can begin to explain.

ANYWAY...

Rollups
soups in a thermos
salads
jelly sandwiches (a thin layer of buter to keep the bread from getting soggy was a trick a friend taught me)
homemade sushi (haven't tried yet but a friend loves this one)
bento box type things
deli meat sand

Thanks to all of you that try to understand and include our children, but I promise you... we'll get through this with strong children that know to advocate for themselves, while not expecting the world to cater to their needs.

[R Hall]

To the mom with the 12 year old son. I am so sorry he is going through that. :( I guess I could handle the part about it being so severe... but the bullying part would make me want to hurt someone.

(Great role model I am, eh? Violence doesn't solve any problems... wait, did you just threaten my kid?! I take it back...)

It's one thing to have to live with it... it's another to have someone basically threaten you with a loaded gun. So not funny.

A long time ago I read about kids having online friends with similar allergies etc. Penpals kinda. If I find the link I'll post it for you.

[Rox]

Our school is not nut-free, but there are nut-free tables; and when a child is severely allergic, all kids in his/her classroom wash and Purell their hands when they walk through the door (all food is eaten outside the room). Even with those precautions, I received a letter just days before kindergarten started that ALL of kindergarten is going peanut- and nut-free because of several children with allergies. Meanwhile, my son has a history of failure-to-thrive (a result of severe reflux as an infant/toddler), and he relies on peanut butter to live. Even after two years in a feeding-and-swallowing program, he eats very little variety, so the elimination of his high-protein, high-fat "usual" in the middle of the day has real consequences to his alertness afterward. Since I have a life-threatening allergy to wheat, I understand that accommodations need to be made -- but I wonder why they're always (and only) made for nuts without other considerations. There is a child in my daughter's grade with a severe dairy allergy (tactile, even), and no accommodation is made for him! That's why I think your point is so spot-on: there needs to be ownership, not inflicting. For little kids, that's harder, but total isolation isn't practical, IMHO.

In any event, I came to learn today that the mom of one "allergic" kindergartner has never had her child tested for nut allergies -- based on a rash she got after handling a walnut (a rash that Benadryl didn't help ... hmm...), she's just assuming that all nuts are off limits. She was proud of having made the kindergarten nut-free. I'm having an aneurysm.

So, our lunches will be cheese sandwiches, mac-n-cheese, and cheese and crackers for now, I guess, with some applesauce or raisins on the side. Some days, I'll drop off hot cheese-only pizza (he won't eat it cold). Maybe this will teach my son to widen his variety. Maybe he'll be eating PB for dinner every night. I just hope the last-minute change doesn't rock his first school experience too much.

[Athanasia]

Thanks for the sunflower butter hint. I didn't know about that one and will have to look for it at the health food store. I am allergic to nuts and soy so any alternate nut butter doesn't work. My food allergies are not so severe that I cannot be around those foods and can even ingest soy lethician and some soy flour on an occasional basis. Peanuts make my ears get flaming hot and itch so I stay away from them. The epi-pen is at the ready just in case though I've never used it.

Thanks for the head's up from you and all your readers.

I really like that you are raising your kids with a realistic approach to life and not some protected bubble environment.

[beth]

Tuna salad in a thermos to stay cold w crackers.
Brown rice cooked in chkn broth w veggies.
Raw veggies and good dip.
sesame sticks and cream cheese.

[Melissa D]

Our school went nut free this past year (sigh). I packed pasta with pesto and grape tomatoes, yogurt cups, butter-and-jelly sandwiches.... pesto and turkey on bread is nice, too.

I wonder if parents could be asked to provide a doctor's note, to reduce the incidence of what Rox above describes?

I see both sides, but was thinking -- if my child would die from contact with a substance and isn't old enough to avoid temptation or bullying, I wonder if educating him or her would be enough?

[Rox]

@Melissa D: I did ask about that, because I thought about submitting a note which I already have stating that my son needs to be allowed to eat PB. The response? Legalities. Our school district in CA can let parents opt out of providing proof of almost anything medical -- you can waive the submission of vaccine info, eve. It's out of control. So they won't even consider requiring "proof" -- everyone is taken at his/her word, and that, IMHO is why things are so out of control.

That said, I didn't submit my note about my son's diet for the second reason you mentioned. We know a child (not at our school, from preschool) who can die upon contact with PB -- and I saw one of his reactions first-hand. If there's any chance that a kid at my son's school will react like that, it's not a chance worth taking. Since we'll never know, we'll have to adjust his diet. It's not a happy ending for us in the short-term, but we'll figure out more ways to work around it.

[Julia]

We just got the list of "banned foods" for our soon-to-be-kindergartner, and I was aghast. Not just completely nut-free, but there was a LONG list of other products that are completely forbidden including granola bars, fruit snacks, and animal crackers. It's mind-blowing, and I'm more than a little disgruntled about it all. I have to read as many labels as you do, Carmen!

My cousin, in his late 30s, has a severe TN/PN allergy, and has been to the ER more times than I can count. Why? Because when we were in school, food allergies were unheard of, and there were certainly no special accommodations. Now that his six-year-old has similar allergies, you might think that my cousin would want a nut-free environment, right? He doesn't, for many of the same reasons that you describe. As he puts it, "I will only survive when I take responsibility for only eating food I know I can trust. Even if people mean well, they sometimes forget that the knife they used to cut the brownies was used to spread peanut butter, and that can kill me. The sooner my son realizes that he needs to stand up for his health, the sooner I can stop worrying that even the well-intentioned people will serve him food that will kill him." It's got to be scary, but I respect that he doesn't want his son to expect others to take care of his needs.

It's good advice for everyone, I think.