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Comments

Wendy

Honestly, you had every right to ask that she go first. It wasn't a case of having 6 kids, it was just a case of being a mom who needed to be in 14 different places at once. I have 3 kids, 14, 7, and 5 and even with a husband who is very helpful and doesn't work crazy hours, I can't manage to do it all. But oh how I try. There are so many times where I wish I could be in more than one place, as evidence by me having to miss "family night" in my son's kindergarten class to attend a volleyball game for my oldest. Daddy went to "family night," but Mom was not happy about it.

Also, that definitely sounds like something that would also happen to me while walking into Walmart after a day like that..

QuatroMama

Oh sweet mama. Pity Parties ALLOWED. It's your pity party and you can laugh if you want to...

(((((Hugs))))

Amie

Sorry:( tomorrow will be better or at least different. My day was disappointing too. When exactly will I learn to never volunteer for anything?

Kristie

I would invite you over for coffee, but while trying to be efficient at 11:30pm last night (waiting for uniforms to finish washing so I could put them in the dryer) I busted my third Cuisinart coffee pot. All I was trying to do was put the dishes away so I could be ready to greet the day. Then I spent a half an hour cleaning glass off a floor I had just mopped. Pity parties all around...we'll go out for coffee :-)

addy

So sorry - hope your butt is ok. And you just have to laugh out loud sometimes. And yes it is tough when you have a large family. It.just.is.

moosh in indy.

I'm proud of you.

If you made the whole six kids thing look effortless I wouldn't be your friend.

My mom never made it to a single one of my games.

Not. a. single. one.

And there were only two of us.

I know she did the best she could, but I know for a fact I'm going to be doing my hardest to do better than her best. Because her best, albeit it being her best, hurt me, a lot.

I didn't see the kind of effort out of her ever that you put out in one day of your life.

Sorry mommy, I love you. But, we have a lot of issues.

Ashley

Good for you for laughing instead of sobbing hysterically.

I have no children, 2 jobs, am a full-time student, and teach private music lessons to 10 children.

I have no idea how you manage what you do. You are an amazing person. Keep up the good work. :-)

Headless Mom

My #2 had a crappy day today and I asked him if he'd ever heard this: "Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug". He laughed and said, "Yep, Mom, I'm the big fat bug today!"

((hugs))

You do more for your kids than many I know with only 2, and sometimes you just can't do it all-it's physically impossible. They know how hard you try and will appreciate it ALL someday.

Carolyn

That's my life motto: sometimes, when things get bad, the only thing left to do is laugh. (I'm sorry you had a bad day though, that is never fun! But it does seem like the universe got your attention in the end!)

Jennifer Joyner

I thought you were going to say that you asked for some big, huge favor because you have six kids. Asking to go first for pictures is not a big deal, and any parent that gave you a hard time about it can go stick it! I don't know how you keep it all together, but I applaud you. I only have two kids because I can barely keep it together with just them--I applaud moms like you!

kyooty

I don't have 6 kids? I have 3 and still I'm doing the same thing. I'm running all over gods green earth picking up or dropping off or waiting for buses and trying to be everywhere for everyone. My oldest isn't quite old enough to babysit. He can though stay here for a few minutes on his own while I'm collecting others? GUILT! last week the worry just about killed me. TJ's school gets out at 250pm. MJ's bus gets here at 250pm, AJ gets out at 315pm. I had to collect MJ at the bus (cause school for him is out at 210pm and not worth the drive in and back out here to the boonies) drag him into town to pick up AJ, get him in the car, with "Stuff", drive down the road to the middle school and when I get there? NO TJ!!!!!!!!! I walk in, leaving two in car with an apple, get the secretary to page TJ? nope! drive to the grocerystore, call hubbie at work to be on teh look out incase TJ calls? leave message at home for TJ to tell him incase he;s there? nope! because I locked the house.. I then yelled at myself the whole way home. I get home? He's sitting on the porch swing reading his homework, he forgot about the meet! And relax! supper, home work, showers, bed not enough hours in the day!
todya? we get to do it again but the meet is closer to the school so I can wait on buses and meet TJ at the finish line. They haven't started Band, and Curling yet and MJ hasn't decided what to "do"

Nicki

Don't sweat the picture thing, lots of parents have to do that because of schedules. As far as everything else, don't beat yourself up over not being able to get to everything. Your kids know full well that you love them and are doing your level best, but I hardly think they will put you in a bad home and never speak to you again because you couldn't always be at their meets/races, etc. :)The guilt, she is truly a parent thing. I only have 3 and one of them I would him serious money if he would go find an activity and would cheerfully add even more driving time to our schedule, but even then there are days where we are scrambling and things are just a mess.

Some days, you really do just have to laugh.

Nicki

Oh for crying out loud, that was supposed to be pay him serious money. Teach me to type at the same time I am fixing my 4-year-old something to eat. Oy.

Beth

Oh my gosh, that's my life to the "T". I just love it when I'm running all over to get milk or whatever, fly home for the next event, only to find out we have no _____. And we need it. Now. I also try not to play the 6 kids card, and not let it hold anyone back from what they want to do, but seriously, I think they really don't want to do as much as society pushes them to do. One sport at a time (times 6) is really all we can handle, with one "off-season" for everybody at the same time. It keeps me sane!

Emily C

Nice. I'm glad you laughed :-)

Jenn

I feel the same way. I have three kiddos- ages 9 (birthday today), 6 and 5. I feel as though I am a single mom with financial backing. Between them, the puppy and volunteering....there isn't a whole lot of good going on right now. As a matter of fact, yesterday was a horrible day and to top it off, after the dog peed in the house, i took him out and them he pulled the leash which knocked me flat on my butt in a pile of mud. I had to clean up his mess, get changed and leave the dinner mess out bc I had exactly 2 minutes till I had to leave for church. Yay. Lately, every day is a little bit worse than the one before it. It will get better though and I am blessed in many ways.

Brandy

I've always been amazed at all your kids do, and the way you sacrifice for them to do the things they want to do. I have two kids and maybe half the activities y'all do and feel guilty for not doing more. HUGS!

Elizabeth

Pbbtth! on the parents who got upset. There was ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with asking to go first for whatever reason. If the photographer had an issue, then they would have said so. It's not like there is a hard and fast rule for taking pics. I've done it myself & I have only 1 kid but we had somewhere else to be. I could have skipped the photo session but Charlie really wanted his picture taken.

Glad you managed to laugh at some point during the day.

Shelly

My mom and Dad never came to any of my games, musical performances or Teacher Conferences. I am the oldest of 7. I have my 4 boys, with 2 having severe health issues and we spend quite a bit of time at our local childrens hospital. I work hard to keep those two healthy as it impacts the lives of my other children and our family routines. I keep their appts so they don't mess up our schedules too much and so far, so good. No hospital stays in almost 4 years, when they use to be every week for the 1st 6 years.
I am at every cub pack meeting, court of honor, sports event, musical productions. I think the Cross Country meets were the things I missed since they were far away and traveling wasn't something I could do with one hooked to machines 24/7. I have never asked for help, because the help wasn't there. I have never made our situation an excuse for why something didn't happen...except the Cross Country things.

Molly

I don't think it's a pity party at all. It's just a reality party. And sometimes reality is tricky and messy and hard.

Jules

You can only do your best with what you have to work with. As for the request to have pictures done first - screw the people that gave you a look. As a mom of 4, with 4 different crazy schedules, I know that you can't make everyone happy and I'd rather piss off a stranger (or at least an acquaintance) than disappoint one of my kids. I've been reading here a long time and I think you do an amazing job Carmen. I hope today was better.

~ifer @ The Mind of ~Ifer

I am the second of 6 kids in my family, and I have to say, sometimes people just need to cut a break for the woman with the most! I admire your resolve not to use that as an excuse for anything, but I also think you need to cut yourself some slack. And pat yourself on the back, because after a day like yesterday? You deserve it.

maggie

Me too!

Kati

I only have two, but with a hubby and his long-hour job on top of crazy-hour job (HS teacher), it's similar for us too. I actually made up a typical daily schedule and pie chart that I whip out every year for the inevitable kid who wonders why I cannot get his/her test graded by the next day. Well, I'm "on stage" all day, then tutor after school, then I tend to family until 9, then I have 4 different types of classes to prep...and dear me, I have to sleep for a few hours as well.

The dawning look of shocked comprehension is always a tad vindicating.

As far as the picture "cutting in line" goes, fuggetaboudit. Great goodly moogly, everybody has days where, if the pieces don't fit together just so, one will fall to the floor and shatter. For all anyone else knew, you had someone in the hospital to tend to, or any other number of emergencies.

They are probably the same people who cut you off on the highway to save themselves three useless seconds.

Anyway, let the guilt go because it's totally unwarranted. Some days are successful simply because you survived them. And your ability to still laugh at the end of such a frazzling day is a gift indeed.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as the Programs Manager for BlogHer, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a minor in BS studies.