A Reader Asks a Question - Part X

Fyi - I'm really bad at Roman Numerals.

Also known as the final installment. My comments have been low, so I'm guessing that this wasn't an impressive series - although I really enjoyed it tremendously.

This comment was asked anon - What is your policy on commenting on your website? And the Gorgeous Jadine piggybacks with: I wonder about the following with regard to all the bloggers I read (I'm not saying *you* get negative comments, just wondering about if you did...) When you get negative comments, do your feelings get hurt? Do you delete them? Would you rather get negative comments than few comments? Do you like to get negative comments, because they elicit more comments/discussion? I would get my feelings hurt, and I'd have emotional scars forever. I'm not tough enough to blog.

Ah, comments. The gold standard of success for any blogger. I love comments.  LOVE them. The more, the better. And people email me and say that they didn't feel that their comment is important, or that I wouldn't care if they commented. Please. COMMENT AWAY.

But, yes. Negative comments do hurt my feelings. I'm a fragile flower of a human being. Like all people, I want you to AGREE with ME because that means I'm right - and we all know how much I like to be right. Ask my husband. All kidding aside - Negative comments I don't delete, unless they are hurtful to me. There's a difference between I don't agree with you and here's why I feel differently and You are wrong with that reasoning and it's because you are stupid and dumb. A negative comment can elicit discussion and I'm all for that - I just don't like attacks.

But I HATE reading a blog and leaving comment after comment and never ever getting a reply. I try, as much as I can, to email people who leave comments here. I'm not always successful and sometimes comments don't need a reply - but I try. I like to feel as if I have a connection with readers. I know that many, many bloggers don't feel that way - but if I leave comment after comment on a blog and I never ever get an email back - I tend to stop reading that blog. Especially if that blog gets a lot of comments - it makes me fel like my comment doesn't matter. I asked on Twitter recently (follow me @mttsm) and realized I'm in the minority - most people don't expect a reply to a comment. I'd really like to know what you guys think about the matter, though. Am I in the minority? (HA - it's ironic that I'm soliciting your comments ABOUT comments!)

Excellent Erin Flood - who didn't leave an email - asked about my daughter's diagnosis.

My daughter was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder when she was 18 months old. It's on the Autistic Spectrum, but not classified as true autism. We did 2+ years of Occupational Therapy. I took her back for her follow up and she's been classifed as being highly anxious (HAHA - what a surprise! She doesn't talk unless she's really comfortable!) and I'm supposed to take her to rule out manic/depressive because of insane moods swings and tantrums. I haven't done this yet. Mostly because I think now that a diagnosis isn't going to help me all that much. The problems we have are still the same, regardless of what letters she has after her name. I have another kid who has ADD and has started having anxiety attacks, which are so much fun that I canNOT even put into words how much fun they are. Having an "official" diagnosis is good on one hand because you know what's going on - but it's bad because your kid is so much more than that diagnosis.

And, finally - this spam comment pretty much says it all - or all that I'm trying to accomplish here on this site. It's a fitting end to a great series. 

I think authors these days are trying desperately to balance the artistic and the commercial and sometimes that makes for all to easy read.

INDEED. And AMEN.

Comments

[UKCraftySal]

I love to receive an email in response to a comment, I feel valued and it's proof that you do indeed read them all! I also love that the honesty of your blog and the two-way communication means I feel I do know you (hope that doesn't make you feel weird!)

[Mary]

I don't expect you to reply to comments, but I always appreciate when you do. I do feel more connected to you than most other authors I read, because of that.

I recently posted a comment on a popular blog. It wasn't at all negative, but it wasn't addressing the question she'd asked, it was more about complimenting how well she'd written the post. And she deleted it. I am still mad about that. And less likely to read her in the future.

[Debbie]

I don't often leave comments. I think I may sound stupid. I did leave a comment for you once and was pleasantly surprised when I received an email from you. It was very nice, but I would never expect the blogger to send an email for all comments.

[coach outlet]

I agree with your idea.You look like very talented.It is very happy to meet you. Thank you!