Mom to the Screaming Masses

You Are Beautiful, and You are Enough

This is probably going to be kinda randomy, kinda streamy, and kinda touchy-feely. Don't worry. I'll be back to normal - maybe - next week or so.

Karen Walrond is one of the most amazing women I've ever known.

Her photography captures the very essence of people - mostly women - she sees into their soul and what she sees comes out in the picture unlike any photographer I've ever seen. I first saw her at a Blogher conference, but never had the courage to talk to her. To me, she was one of THEM - the elite, the upper level of blogging, the celebrity that everyone loved and no one could touch.

It wasn't HER. She never did one thing to enforce that thought - it was me. I felt as if I could not touch her. She's someone who in genuinely beautiful inside and out - I've never heard one single thing negative EVER about her - and that speaks volumes.

But part of the weight loss travel for me - and travel isn't really the correct work, for it's more a journey, some days a trudge and some days an uphill sprint - is bridging that inner fat chick. The one who hides from the camera, the one who sits in the background, the one who is really funny but you never notice her. Damnit - I want to be noticed.

And that's not always a good thing, now, is it?

Home and Changed, Different and the Same

Jump aboard my Stream of Consciousness about my trip...

Make sure to put on your seatbelt, because it's a SOC for a reason. It meanders, it floats and spins, occasionally a whirlpool appears. At the end, you can't see how one path lead to one pool and another, but you know you made it through. A little tattered, a little damp, but complete.

I had excellent travel karma. Really, the easiest trip I've ever made. My local airport was on time, polite, friendly and clean. Southwest Air was friendly, funny and welcoming. There were only 70 people on the flight to Nashville, so we were encouraged to have our own rows.

There was a woman who insisted on sitting next to me. I was coming down with a thick, snotty, phlegmy cold, and tried to discourage her - but she insisted on sitting in my row. So I sneezed on her.

No. I really didn't. I wanted to, but sometimes when I sneeze, I might pee just a little - and I'm always afraid that my suitcases won't make it on the trip with me. I didn't want to wear damp panties to Blissdom -

So I just changed rows. I sat in row 18 instead of 17, like I wanted. It was good anyway.

Why I Go To Blog Conferences

People often ask me, Why do you attend blog conferences? You spend money that you really don't have, you take time away from your family, it stresses you out when you are getting ready - why do you do it to yourself? After all, you have real life friends and you have fun with them. Why go through all of the aggravation?

Good question.

I do it for situations like the one I'm in right now, where I have two friends sitting on beds in my room - and we are all on our laptops and not talking to each other - and we are ok with it.

We get it.

It's being in a room of people all texting and facebooking on their phones, not looking at each other - but they are most definitely interacting with each other and knowing that no one is offended.

We get it.

It's not so much going to the sessions, which are often all kinds of amazing and sometimes aren't, and sometimes are as sparsely attended as my fitness panel - with only 4 people listening to me. It's not getting knowledge, for I can do that in my home. That's the beauty of the Internet. I can research and google, craft and prepare to my hearts content.I can learn at home on my own time. In my pj's.

Conferences are different. Hard to explain. I have many friends in real life, and I adore them. I laugh with them, I hang with them, cry and support them in ways that are magnificent and breathtaking, rich and deep and fulfilling.

Internet is different. Meeting with online friends refreshes my soul and completes me in a way that's untapped, unfettered. Solid and true.

It's sitting in a room of people who just GET YOU. Who ask for your name and your blog and your twitter handle all in the same breath, before they ask who you work for or who your children are or where they go to school. It's meeting up with people that you know online for YEARS - hello, Liz of Hallmark, I'm talking to you! - and not having to do all of the tired and trite intros. It's getting right into the meat of a conversation, adding a new twitter follower and knowing that you are just understood in a way that transcends both explanation and acknowledgement.

It's laughter. Laughter until you pee your pants and can't breathe.

Taken by the amazing and uber talented Heather of Heather Durdil Photography. I was laughing at a funny story she told. And then she showed me tricks on Lightroom that I haven't ever been able to figure out.

I will have many many many more pictures later next week, as they show up on Flickr and I grab them. I don't know if I've even touched the tip of how I feel when I go to conferences - but this is close.

What I Did to Prep For Blissdom

Please go here and read a post where I wrote about my Fabulous Five. PLEASAE note: There is NO possible way that I could include every blog I read. PLEASE do NOT get offended if your blog wasn't listed. The list is in NO way complete - just a sampling. I do, however, voraciously read AND adore the blogs I nominated.

Things I did to get ready for Blissdom:

• Fret that I hadn't lost ten pounds
• Make chocolate chip cookies for my family
• Make white chip/orange cookies for my friends
• Buy a new dress
• Buy a caboodle to finally (!!!) organize my hair and makeup stuff. I am not as low maintenance as I appear. It takes a LOT of stuff to get me to look decent
• Come down with a major cold.
• Pack a week's worth of lunches (minus the sandwiches), set them on the table appropriately labled, add envelopes of milk/lunch money, and make a list of which sandwiches to make on which days
• Forget to get cash
• Wash every single dirty piece of clothing in my house AND put it away
• Plug my ears when the angels rejoiced, for that little things has NEVER been done ever in my house
• Forget to pack more than 20 business cards
• Go to the store one hour (!!!) before my ride to the airport came, to get bread, milk, apples, bananas and oranges. 
• Shove random assortments of clothes and such into my suitcase while my patient friend waited to drive me to the airport
• Pick up a Roasted turkey breast and ham slices, using a half price groupon
• Pack portable dinners for Tuesday night
• Arrange and prepare dinners for the rest of the week
• email teachers, call doctors, refill medications
• Put out the weeks uniforms for Emma and Riley with sticky notes
• Cry and stress over a situation I had absolutely ZERO control over
• Buy Propel and EmergenC and start swilling the latter and packing the former
• Obsess until I got on the plane

Enjoy every minute thereafter. I've got a great bunch of info to share with you over the next few days.

Guest Post of Awesomeness

Michele has graciously offered to guest post for me while I'm away at Blissdom.

Please enjoy her lovely post and I'd love if you'd show her the love you often show me.

What I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

 

I was an abandoned child.  My biological mother left me with relatives when I was four years old (whom I call “Mom and Dad”).  She left to make a new life in Las Vegas.  My half brother and half sister went to live with their father (we don’t know who my biological father is).

 

As a result, I had issues.  Hell, I still have issues. I was an introvert to the extreme.  Mom and Dad (my great-aunt and great-uncle) were much older than other kids my age.  They had no interest in amusement parks or play dates, so I stayed home.  I taught myself how to read before Kindergarten.  I had a lot of time on my hands.

 

One day, something magical happened.  I was watching TV and realized that those were real people playing pretend.  They could be anyone they wanted to be.  I told my Mom I wanted to act and be a performer.  To this day, I don’t know what prompted her to action.  I mean, doesn’t every little girl want to be an actress… or a ballerina… or a princess?  She made it happen somehow. 

 

I took tap, jazz, ballet, singing, acting, and piano classes.  And I was good at all of it.  There were headshots, agents, and auditions.  Lots of rejection, which oddly, I never minded.  I was in a professional dance/singing troupe.  I did plays, musicals, commercials, and print ads such as catalogs and brochures.  I have video evidence.  Thank God they’re all still on VHS.

 

The most surprising of all – and anyone who knows my mother can attest to this shock – my mom was not a “stage mom.”  She pushed me towards doing my best.  Learning my moves, learning my lines, and doing what I needed to do, but she wasn’t pushy.  Believe me, I witnessed pushy.

 

My contemporaries were Heather O’Rourke and Drew Barrymore.  They were my age.  When Heather died, it really hit hard.  You just don’t think about death at that age.  The highlight of my career might sound strange, but it was not getting a role.  I lost a role to Drew Barrymore.  If I’m going to lose a role, who better to lose it to than Drew-frickin’-Barrymore?  It.Was.Awesome.

The end of my career can be summed up in three words:  Fourteen.  Awkward.  Braces.

 

But.  For the ten years it lasted, it gave me the option to be someone else.  Someone who’s biological mother actually wanted them.

Things No One Would Ever Say to Me

I put this on Twitter one day and thought it'd be interesting here.

What is something NO ONE could ever say about you?

I listen to a lot of Van Morrison, and one of his songs, "Tupelo Honey", brought on this post.

She's as sweet as Tupelo Honey.

No one would EVER say that about me.

Bitter, yes. Snarky, yes. Opinionated, yes.

Sweet, I don't think so.

But they could also, truthfully, say that I never shirked a work out.

What is something that no one could ever say about you?

Share a Compliment

Today being National Compliment day, I would like for all of you to share a compliment with someone.

Doesn't have to be here - although, you know, I'm WILDY insecure and in much need of ego stroking all.the.danged.time - aren't you glad you don't live with me?

So you can compliment me, should you not have anyone else. (PS - I'm betting that you do, though. Seriously.)

I'd love it if you'd compliment someone, and share your efforts here.

i'm going to share a few of mine here.

My good friends Kendra and Kalisa, who are always there when I have a question, vent or need a shoulder. I can't pick one of them over the other.You guys are amazing. Witty, knowledgeable and very understanding of me and my drama.

My local friend Kristie - the one I call for advice - I always ask, "WWKD?" You are there when I need a pick up, a cupcake (or 3), a stiff drink or three and will be of TREMENDOUS help while I'm away.

My husband, the only person who can do more in one day than I can - and that's saying a LOT. You are amazing.You help me when I'm down and make me laugh. You encourage me to strive to work harder and faster. You are always (distressingly so) in a good mood and always know what to say, when to say it - and THANKS for arranging your schedule so I can go to Blissdom - and not being annoyed that I'm coming back ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.

My kids - you guys are tops at making me laugh, stressing me out, and forgetting that I can read you like a mirror. You are all by equal counts funny, sanity stretching and interesting. 

My mom and dad, who have supported me and helped me keep my sanity and my stuff together. In particular, I would NEVER be able to go to Blissdom this week without your help. You rock.

The teachers are my kids school, who teach them, keep them in line and give me a long stretch of sanity. You are doing a great job.

All of you , who are wonderful readers, support me like no other, challenge me to stretch and grow and think.

Your turn. Go on, give someone a compliment. Make someone feel good.

Knee Deep In Prep Work

This is the part of my week when I tell you that I'm leaving town in something like 56 hours and I have NADA done.

i need to pull out a bunch of sheets of paper and get to the list writing, already. I've started the schedule for the family- done a little bit of planning - but not nearly enough to leave town comfortably.

I did buy this, though, to wear at Blissdom...

It was a toss up between this dress and one in black and white. I put both pictures on Twitter to gauge a response, and one answer was so totally perfect I had to put it here.

Most.Perfect.Answer.EVER.

I want to offer this place as a guest post opportunity while I'm away. If you've got something to say, email me - or leave a comment - and I'll set you up. 

Back tomorrow - WHEN I've made my lists, lol.

Making a Change

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Don't act so stunned. I do think. Once in a while - I try not to make TOO big of a habit of it.

What I've been pondering, a little bit here but mostly just in my head - is myself. Lots of little stuff, that crystallized for me this week. Especially when I read this phenomenal post by Michele.

Stolen

No, I didn't have a robbery. I stole this from Liz's Facebook page.

St. Philo of Alexandria said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."

Would love to have you discuss, and, as you deem appropriate, share, if you so desire.

Mine shall be summed up in one word.

TEENAGERS.