Did You Ever Wonder Why Grocery Stores Have Customers at Midnight?

It's for people buying LYSOL.

Let me back up. This is a long one, so you'd better make sure you pee AND get another cup of coffee before you go below the fold.

Yesterday, the phone rang. It was the school nurse, telling me that Emma had a headache. It was 2:30 - she'd just hold her in the office until 3:00 dismissal. I wasn't alarmed - Emma has a history of headaches, doesn't always wear her glasses when reading. and her classroom is really loud. The school has a note for motrin, and the nurse is competent and familiar with my child. I arrived at school and grabbed my daughter, who admittedly did look a little pale and iffy - but by the time we got home, she'd bounded back beautifully.

Looks can be deceiving.

She had Muay Thai boxing class at night, and it was her night to test and rank up. She went to class, performing her combination/sit ups/push ups beautifully. She finished class, ate her dinner (white pizza, carrot sticks, banana, V8 fruit juice) and did her homework. We came home, she ate chocolate fondue with my mom and went up to bed. My husband was off work and came up with us, and he sat on the rocker while we did prayers and talked about the day.

She sat up in her bed and threw up on the floor. On my feet.

I yelled, "Grab her! Take her into the bathroom!" to which my husband responded with Rookie Mistake #671 - "Why? She's already thrown up on the floor - she can't have anything else to throw up!"

Everyone, together now - Oooooohhh, no, he didn't.

She proceeded to toss and hurl and toss some more, while I grabbed stuff to keep it clear and he watched with jaw agape. I'm what's commonly known as a sympathy puker, and so if he's home, it goes to him to clean. I got her cleaned up and he ran for the industrial vacuum -

which was full of leaves and yard debris that had apparently not been dumped and were somewhat, slightly, sort of, MOLDY. And when he used the vacuum, the exhaust of those leaves filled the room with a vile and odiferous stench. It was *so* not a pleasant time to be in our house.

Fast forward: 9:30. She'd been laid in our bed, along with her sister, as their room was by this point completely uninhabitable. (I have to give mad props to my husband, though - he cleaned up the entire mess. Except that it still smelled.) When I checked on her, it was to discover that she'd thrown up in her sleep -all over my bed and new comforter. Cleaned her up, changed the bedding, pulled the futon into another kid's room, laid the girls on that - and my anxiety kid had a panic attack. What if *I* throw up? I hate throwing up! I can't sleep in here, she's grinding her teeth and it's too much noise! I can't sleep, I can't sleep, What if I can't get to sleep, I'm going to be too tired tomorrow - it went on and on and on.

And in the middle of it, she tossed her cookies AGAIN. This time, on the bathroom floor, and my husband discovered that we were out of Lysol. No, not strictly true, for I don't BUY Lysol. I use mostly organic and natural cleaners and Lysol makes me nuts - but he wanted it for the floor and so I went to the grocery. 10:30 by this time. I grabbed Lysol, enzyme cleaner for carpets, and COFFEE for the morning.  At least I got to see my friend who works at the grocery. (Kidding. He's not my friend, but I see him so often that I feel like I should have him over for dinner, or at the very least, Friend him on Facebook.) Gave the Lysol to my husband, completely lost all cool with my anxiety kid, and went back to check on my husband -

Who told me that the spray top for the Lysol was broken. Which sent me back to the store, where I told my "friend" Nothing personal, but I don't want to see you again, to which he replied, See you tomorrow!

To come home to find my husband still cleaning the carpet, my anxiety kid still freaking out and my daughter still throwing up.

12:45. Everyone cleaned, everyone in bed, girls on the futon. I crawled into my bed - to be followed by Emma, who complained that her stomach hurt.

1:00-2:15 attempted to sleep while my husband snores and my daughter alternately moaned and cried and ground her teeth. Gave up, went to lay on the futon with Riley under a single sheet, shivering. Slept until...

3:15, when the kid threw up again. I heard it going down and ran into the bathroom, to find that someone had left the toilet lid down, and so she'd christened the lid of the toilet and the surrounding floor. Have a bitter argument over the fact that she SHOULDN'T still be throwing up, her stomach SHOULD be empty, HOW was this still happening???

I have no idea. Ask her stomach.

So far today, I've had two girls welcome a special "friend", a fourth kid with a stomach ache who earned a day home, emptied an entire box of baking soda on the stinky carpet, washed five loads of wash and walked anxiety kid through yet anothe panic attack, when the rolling bookbag handle broke as said child was getting out of the car at school, necessitating parking of the van and walking the child in to school carrying the 25 pound bookbag that is much too heavy for a kid to carry. I've located a second one, so I've got to figure out how to get it up to school, take my husband his phone (which he left in the condemned bedroom), destench the room, fumigate the entire house, and segregate the sick kid.

All on about 3 hours of sleep. Hey - at least I got a blog post out of this, right?

Comments

[Katherine]

And you know what? We WANTED kids!!!

[Headless Mom]

Oh God. {{{{hugs}}}}

[Nicki]

I raise my cup of coffee to you. On about 3 hours of sleep, I stand in the middle of the room asking myself just what it was that I was supposed to be doing, and I stay that way for a while. I am a sympathy gagger, because I despise throwing up so much that I refuse to do it, and I have passed that on to my kids so they rarely throw up which is a blessing, but when it happens I am always the one who has to do clean up. *sigh* So I feel your pain. Hopefully this was a one-off and your house can go back to its former stench-free, throw-up-free status. Hang in there, and drink a lot of coffee.

[superpaige]

Oh, NOOOOOO! So sorry! Hooray for your husband, who was there to help you, and hooray for naps (hopefully). Hang in there.

[Amie]

Oh my word!!!! What a terrible mess! The past few daysat my house include one kid w double ear infection and gnarly hacking cough. Other kid with strep and gnarly hacking cough. So my currently immune suppressed kids have returned to a classroom rampant with gi bug. Did I mention we r supposed to go away this weekend ? I am at oral surgeon waiting to have molar removed. I feel like I am walking on glass. But at least we don't have barf or stench.

[liz]

Sending hugs and bottles of ginger ale.

[Elizabeth]

I'm a sympathic puker too. And my husband had the same reaction when Charlie barfed the last time too! But then he suggested I get a pot from the kitchen as a barf container instead of a trashcan. I mean seriously?

[Jenn]

I hope no one else catches that bug. My girlfriend's 2 year old sounds like she has something similar.

Speedy recovery and clean up and a decent's night sleep to you!

[KarenP]

Hope today goes much better for you! I can handle blood but not throw up. I make my husband clean up the cat throw up, which is all we have to deal with since the kids are gone. My kids were pretty good at making it to the bathroom when they felt like they were going to get sick...which really wasn't that often. But I remember once Garrett didn't make it to the bathroom and instead got sick all over the railing onto the open stairway. He just had to tell me how many times he got sick......

[Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith]

I am sorry, Carmen. I also had about three hours sleep last night, a different ailment, fortunately for me not as messy.

[kyooty]

oh no!! I hope we didn't catch this from reading. ick!

[Becki]

I'm just astonished that you had the time and energy to post. Hope tonight is much more quiet and restful, and much less smelly.

[Lynn]

Feeling your pain! I thanks the good Lord that all our illnesses have been colds and laying on the couch types and no throwing up this winter. Hopefully sharing your story has helped you laugh at the absurdity of it all! This is one of those times when we cling to the truth that "this, too, shall pass." Big applause to your husband for helping clean up.

[HeartBabyHome]

My mom used to put a bagless garbage can next to my bed to catch the vomit. I give my kids an old mixing bowl that I never use for anything else.
For girls, I braid their hair or put it in ponytails so no vomit gets in their hair.
Put a towel over their pillow. Place the vomit bowl where they'll have immediate access to it when they sit up in bed. (they always sit up to vomit if the bowl is there.) place a fresh paper towel next to the bowl so they can wipe their mouth.
Tell her to vomit in the bowl OR to carry the bowl with her to the bathroom and vomit in the bowl if it comes out before she can get to the bathroom.
Hold her forehead up while she is vomiting so none of it gets up her nose. Tell her that is what you are doing so she learns to do it herself, too.

Rinse out the bowl with some water and dump it in the toilet. Flush. Rinse again until it is all clean. (do this while she is by the sink or toilet or has an alternate place to throw up if she needs it)
webmd.com has good info under vomiting/dehydration.

Hope my post didn't make you too queasy. I hope no one else in your family catches it. But, just in case...you try to keep you and your family really well hydrated before it hits. That should help shorten the recovery time.

[Brandy]

Good grief! Hugs and thoughts of a settled tummy heading your way.

[Shelly]

So sorry!!! I did that last week while I was also sick. Not fun and so glad we are all over it. I have informed my boys NO ONE IS TO GET SICK IN MARCH OR ANY OTHER MONTH FOR THE REST OF 2011! January gave us pneumonia.

Sending healthy vibes to your home and prayers for no one else to get sick---mostly you!

[GK]

hey! you should put some of these helpful tips on cards & then LAMINATE them in case someone accidentally vomits on one! i would post the one about flushing the toilet after you rinse the puking bowl right NEXT TO the toilet to remind yourself to flush it! BE SURE to laminate that one first!!!! this may also work with children flushing after bowl movements.

i don't bake so i don't have a mixing bowl but i find my dogs food bowl works good too for puking kids.

you might also want to stop giving your kid cookies, so then she can't toss them.

Hope everyone is feeling better & you get some rest tonite!

[Carrie]

Hope you are all feeling better. I can so relate. After telling everyone how healthy we were this winter (big mistake), we had one case of strep throat, four kids with influenzae, and two kids that got killer ear infections on top of the flu and that was all just last week. Just put unclean in my front yard. I am a very tired freaked out mommy!

[Ann Woodruff]

So sorry, Carmen! What an awful night for you. Hope there are no more casualties.

[Grace]

Stomach issues can really mess up the family. I feel so bad for you, but at least your husband cleaned up the mess. My kids have tossed enough cookies to know how to carry a bucket around with them now (they never make it to the bathroom). Hope everything settles down for you so you can get more sleep!

[Philippa]

OMG! Feeling your pain! My dd did this too only one time she threw up all the way down the hallway into the bathroom, AFTER throwing up on her bed AND the floor. Talk about gross!

Vinegar and water gets rid of all kinds of smells. A quarter cup of vinegar in a quart of water. Spray on spot. Mop up. Repeat. Or use a carpet steamer cleaner with vinegar mix in the container. It was the ONLY thing that cleaned the doggie smell in my carpets.

Hope everyone feels better soon!

[Erika]

Ohhh, honey. I feel for you. And just after the chaos post, too! Hope everyone gets well soon. I've had those nights where everytime I change the PJ's and sheets another set gets KO'd. And we don't have a washer/dryer, so I *have* to wait until the next day to hit the laundromat, and drive with the stinkiness in the van. UGH. I really, really hope this passes, and SOON. Sending thoughts and prayers your way...

[Erika]

Also, LOL at what GK said! Co-sign that! ;)

[Tom Stoppard]

Sounds like you were on the razzle, derfyshmurf.

[Ann]

Oh no, but your post made me laugh because I just went through this with ONE kid - and I thought I had it bad.

I went to an interview the morning after puke-fest 2011 working on an hour or so of sleep and I'm sure I reeked of residual vomit.

I'm still waiting to see if I got the job :)