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YOu are my hero -- you are showing me that the journey Im taking is doable. You are showing me that the mind process that ive been thinking is okay -- its okay to put myself first.You showed me that the world doesnt stop spinning because I took time to do something "I" wanted to do. And for that Im grateful!


I just love u! Do u have any idea how much I need to hear this right now?I could go on and on and just bore you to tears w my issues, but to make a long story short I am taking this semester to focus on me, Btw it is a teacher thing I will forever plan my life by semesters. I am trying to Be as caring and encouraging to myself as I try to be to others. Fortunatley I am blessed with some great friends & family who are supporting my efforts.

I so wish u were close by and could stop in for coffee :)


Me is important!


You know, 40 did that to me too, and now at (gulp) 46, I really do like me! It took some time to focus on me, and not my 6 kids, husband, business, parents, etc., but being able to say what I want, why, it's priceless! I was such a people pleaser. And you know, some people who weren't my friends before (although I tried to win them over!), now ARE my friends, cause they see the real me. 40s rock my friend!


To thine own self be true.


Thank you. I'm also struggling along on my own journey trying to figure out who the real me is as opposed to the person I was that everyone else needed me to be, and learning to like (if not love) that person. It isn't always easy and it isn't always fun, but it needs to be done. Thank you for sharing with us your journey and inspiring and reassuring us that maybe we, too, can get there. I have to agree that it must be a 40s thing (even though I am still just a wee bit shy - 38), because my mom and aunts all kind of hit their stride and became completely confident and comfortable with themselves in their 40s.

Headless Mom

'Love' button.


Rah-rah-rah! I do want to say it!

Thanks for sharing this, and good luck on your journey.


You go, girl!! I know how easy it is to get sucked into social networking and to always be thinking "I should write a post on this" while my husband and kiddo sat in the background. It's hard to say no and to pull back from being in constant communication but I've felt so much more IN this life of mine. {hugs}

Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith

Balance is my word for 2011 too.
For me, it is easy to say, not so easy to do.


I don't think it's a mid-life crisis, I think it's a post-Blissdom crisis. Same thing happened to me last year.

So...Goooooooo, Team Carmen! You can do it!


"I'm trying to be me. Imperfect, not finished, unvarnished - but real and unapologetically, honestly ME."

Well said. Me too. Upon Devin's autism diagnosis, in that moment, I vanished. I'm coming back though.

This post came at the right time for me. Thank you.


Amen Carmen! I've always been one to edit myself depending on the situation and I'm so tired of it! I'll be working on the "m" to the "e"! Thanks for keeping it real and I hope you understand how important a post like this is for those of us who need to hear it. Thank you.


Rah=Rah=Rah for you! I so enjoy reading you. Like another comment said this came at a perfect time for me. Thanks for being you :-)


I recently said "no" to joining another volunteer activity when asked by a friend ... who still hasn't spoken to me since. I shared with her that my goal was taking things off of my plate, not adding more, no matter who asked or how worthy the cause. I feel good about my decision, but I'm realizing increasingly that it's other moms who are guilting me into doing more and more and more. What if we collectively stopped trying to one-up every prior activity, every prior year's event, every other mom who's done X, Y, or Z? We'd all be happier, less stressed, and have more time for ourselves and for each other just to enjoy. Good for you for focusing inward. You'll have a better year. Me too!


Keep on this path Carmen. You are headed in the right direction.

Emily C

I don't know a single soul who doesn't continually need to simplify, reassess, and pare down to the things that truly matter to her.

A friend of mine told me recently that she tells her kids, "There are only so many seats on the friend bus, and you can't let it get so crowded that no one's having fun anymore."


Wow – that was rambly, and anxty – but pure gold – I felt like I read it in 10 seconds and wanted more. You brought the awesome with this one.

And that polka dot dress – you ruled the room with it.

God Bless and Keep You and Yours


I like these posts, because it reminds me that I don't have to be Supermom all the time. I want to have some time for ME, too! I do the same, if we have an office party, I bring TONS of food, and its not just thrown together, either, I'll spend hours deviling eggs and weaving lattice pie crust and etc. so that everyone will see that I do have talents, see see look at me, ... ugh.


Instead of mid-life crisis, let's just call it a mid-life awakening. Like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon -- it's okay to be happy and flit along doing what YOU want to do and what makes your life joyous.

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. (Or just the way you treat your family and friends ... be a pal to yourself.) I've got a great MD, I'll bet we can get her to write a prescription for us. Then we can say, oh no I can't do that. So sorry, it's against dr's orders for me to get stressed and making your cupcakes or organizing your fundraiser or being the secretary/treasurer/vice president/president gives me _______... (hives for example... insert whatever you like... spots in front of my eyes ... bouts of crying, yelling, frustration... and so on). I think of it kind of like what my dad did ... a politician wanted to glad hand him and started shaking and wouldn't let go... so dad decided to just hold on himself and not stop talking. Turn the tables on them ... say oh I was just going to call you about the scouts... church... school... car pool... to ask if you'd ... blah, blah, blah. If you work it right, pretty soon the folks trying to get you to do their something or another will be taking on some of the other chores you didn't really want to do too! Won't that be fun!

Domestic Extraordinaire

I, too, tried for too long to be someone else and I never realized how happy & freeing it was to just be me. It did piss a lot of people off, people, who I realize now weren't really my friends in the first place.

I hate that you are so far away, but so thankful that you are a friend.



Except for yours and another one or two, I've stopped reading them all together.


Oh yes I will say rah-rah-rah! I've stopped reading some decorating blogs. I don't like to compare my house to theirs any longer. Also, I can't stand the elaborate details for every ding dang craft for every bloomin' upcoming holiday. Crafts? Seriously? Can't do it. Some can and they're awesome at it. Not this momma!


I think all women need to find their own "blissdom" conference to spend time with themselves and enjoy it and come back 'at it' with renewed sense of self.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.