I'm tired. Unspeakably tired.
I was able to sleep in for the first time in a long time, and had such crazy weird dreams that it seemed as if I didn't sleep at all. I woke reaching for my husband - to encounter a snoring 7 year old sprawled sideways across my bed, head buried in my stomach. By 10:30 I had two in tears, one in the corner, and one VERY self important teen who was furious that the fighting had woken her - when she wanted to SLEEP IN - yeah, at 10:30.
We went to Good Friday services, meeting a friend there, and came home to 5 people in unexplicably horrific moods. Names were called - really cruel and mean names that girls love to torture each other with - feelings were hurt, tears were shed.
Yes. Those girls both read here every day. Please know that what you said to your sister was rude, it was mean, and it was uncalled for. Pretty appropriate on this, Good Friday, when the most Holy of all was tortured and reviled - but that doesn't make it right. I hope you were able to get the additional rest that you clearly needed, what with the hours earlier bedtime you earned.
I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. My house should be a beacon of calm, a refuge for those who are struggling out there in the world - and it's as if, when they enter the door, the good behavior that they display for others is shed like the sneakers they leave tossed around. I'm tired of hearing great things about people from teachers, from instructors, from babysitting clients and other parents - only to see rude glares that would burn a hole if unchecked.
I just realized something. I hate the fighting because it tears the other one down. But I can't stop it. Only they can stop it.
There was *one* bright spot to today.
Gabriel was awarded Star Student in Muay Thai. For excellence in study, for increase in power and form and all of the other cool things. It broke my heart when he asked if he'd been chosen by lottery, or if I bribed the instructors. He KILLED it in testing this week and I hate that he doesn't see that.
Hopefully tomorrow will dawn a new day. A quieter, calmer day.
Way to go Gabe!
And yes, the fighting needs to stop-in your house and mine.
xoxo
Posted by: Headless Mom | April 22, 2011 at 08:58 PM
Congrats, Gabriel! That takes real dedication and hard work. =)
Carmen, I'm sorry you had such a miserable day. While my girls aren't old enough to name call yet, they have discovered such wonders as hair pulling and biting. It's so hard to take them out with others and have them play nicely, then come home and act like... well, hooligans, really.
I also used to treat my two sisters (and probably my three brothers) similarly -- days where I'm sure my mother wanted to ship us all off to separate countries on different sides of the planet. But she did the same thing you're doing: Let us know that what we were doing was wrong, made sure we understood how awful we were being, and kept loving us anyway. Today, my sibs and I are easily all best friends. We still have major differences, but the six of us have learned how to cope with that -- and learned to be grateful for a mother who wasn't afraid to teach us to be kind. Hang in there; you're doing God's work as a mother, and He'll bless you and your children for it!
And P.S., thanks for posting this so I could write encouragement to you and to myself at the same time. Must be something about Good Friday that makes the kids go nuts!
Posted by: Carolynn Dyer | April 22, 2011 at 10:13 PM
Congratulations Gabriel!
I, too, am sorry to hear about the infighting between your girls. Is this what I have to look forward to in 10 years?
I hope that it all blows over and you have a wonderful Easter and spring break.
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | April 22, 2011 at 10:31 PM
I think that all kids are the same. They feel comfortable and save being the cranky/whiny/rude child at home. It's definitely not fair but I could trade you 1 inappropriate child outside of the house if you like. He's pretty good at home, where I can be on top of him 24/7 but out there? ACK!
Posted by: kyooty | April 23, 2011 at 08:57 AM
That's so awesome for Gabe! Good for him!
As for your girls, this too shall pass. Someday. I didn't have a sister, but my best friend from age 13 on is two years younger than I, and our parents said we fought like sisters. There are just so many issues when you're close in age. She was an extremely good student and a decent athlete but chubby (I knew where I could hit a nerve), I was a so-so student and a terrible athlete but thin. But I was older! I should've been the smarter one, dammit. She got most of the praise AND the guy I was into one summer. Lots of issues there. But we've grown up, we're still best friends, and we and appreciate our differences and would never dream of saying ugly things now. Your girls will grow up too.
Posted by: Megan | April 23, 2011 at 06:18 PM
Moods around here are terrible, too. I don't think the devil likes us celebrating these holy days. Thankfully today there is SUN (a novelty in the Pacific NW).
May you and your family have a blessed and wonderful Easter, Carmen!
Btw, in regards to your last post: If you ever wrote a book on time management, I'd buy it! I am so horrible at that.
Go Gabe!
Posted by: Xenia Katie | April 23, 2011 at 06:54 PM
Congrats to Gabe! Way to go!
I know the sibling fights would drive me batty too, but I also know Heather would have so loved to have siblings. I know they would have fought, and I tease friends and family when their kids fight that they make me thankful for I only have one....but despite the fighting siblings do, it was still never my hope or plan to only have one. They may fight horribly, but in a pinch, and when they need it most, they will be there for one another like no one else can. I was saddest for Heather when I was surrounded by my siblings at Dad's funeral, so thankful we had one another to lean on and share a common feeling with. We sat there in a line, holding on to one another and Mom, and no one else could have replaced siblings in that moment. But in that moment I was also so saddened that Heather will never have that. Remember that when the fighting is bad. Beneath that, when it counts, they will be there for one another in a way no one else can be.
Posted by: Tammy | April 25, 2011 at 07:38 AM
Well done Gabriel!
Sorry your house has been such a stressful place. When mine is like that (and it is, really often), I try hard to remember that:
* I and my 3 siblings were foul to each other a lot when we were kids, but we like and respect each other now
* My kids at least know how they should behave (because out of the house I too am complimented on them, even on the one whose home behaviour is almost never OK)
* Although I can't make them be nice to each other (or to me), I CAN control my own reaction to the bad behaviour - even though that's hard!
(Although often I just scream at them instead!)
Hang in there; this too will pass. (I'm going to have that tattooed on my forehead!!)
Posted by: UKCraftySal | April 25, 2011 at 09:26 AM