This is a true story about one of my kids. I'm not going to name said child, because I think, maybe, in the future, should a friend or not so much friend find this story - it could be an instance of teasing. But it was too funny not to share. HOWEVER - I don't need to get emails telling me that I'm a bad parent because this happened, or that my kids must lack supervision, or other nonsense. I've gotten my fill of judgement in a couple of anonymous comments left on old posts this week.
Over Spring Break, I took boxing class at lunch time. I brought two kids with me. While class was going on, those two kids ran across the mat to the bathroom. After about 10 minutes, I realized that they'd never come back, and so I excused myself and went looking for them. These two are liable to get into trouble together - there's a door to the outside and I halfway wondered if they'd managed to sneak outside.
As I opened the bathroom door, I heard the words Crap - Mom's coming! - and I looked around the door in time to see two little heads - think about what I'm saying here - on TOP of the bathroom stall. As soon as I spied them, they both dropped down to the ground. Apparently, they'd stood on the toilets, climbed ontop of the toilet paper holders, and used their hands to lever their bodies up to the top of the stall. Where they sat. Until they were busted.
Mass scolding ensued, and two children returned to their former location, duly chastened.
One might think.
Tuesday night I returned from Chicago a bit before bedtime. After greeting everyone and dumping my suitcase, I checked off homework. One of the children involved in the climbing scenario above has a behavior chart on the front of the copybook - every kid in the class has one. If you behave all day, the maximum you can get is 5 points, and the reward is a smiley face. One misbehavior earns you a 4, and subsequent infractions drop your number down further. This Child has only gotten a 4 twice - both times for talking. On Tuesday the child had a 4. When I questioned why, the child claimed to have no idea.
So I called the bluff. "Ok. If you can't remember, I'm going to email your teacher and see what she says."
The child blinked at me, called MY bluff and said, "Fine." And so I stood at the computer without speaking and commenced typing. I didn't interact with the child at all. A few minutes later, I heard, "Did she email you yet?"
I turned around. "Nope." I looked without blinking. The child caved first. "Weeeeeel, maybe I do remember why I got into trouble." Making my eyes as wide as possible, I tossed out a nonchalant, "Oh, really?" and the child burst into tears.
"I have - sob, sob - no idea how she saw, someone must have told on me - sob, sob - or maybe she has cameras in the bathroom - I got into trouble because I was sitting on top of the bathroom stall again!"
I kid you not. This kid, in a strict Catholic school with a VERY intense discipline policy, in the bathroom right outside the office - was perched on top of the bathroom stall and discovered. By the teacher.
When I questioned - and BELIEVE me, it was topic of intense discussion and spirited debate, except it was a one sided debate because the child wasn't ALLOWED to say ANYTHING in defense - for, really, how exactly can you claim a NEED to sit on the top of the bathroom stall? There's no excuse, no reason - just dumb lack of thinking. Amongst all of the tears and the guilt and between the "Poor me, I got caught" and "Why is it wrong to sit up there?" and "I REALLY want to know who told on me!" and "I'm going to apologize to my teacher tomorrow!" the real reason for the climbing came out. Speaking through tears, choking on phlegm, this child managed to blurt out the truth:
The devil made me do it!
lmao I didn't make her do anything lmao
Posted by: Jenn | May 05, 2011 at 10:04 PM
ROFL!!! Yeah, why IS it wrong to sit up there?
Posted by: amie | May 05, 2011 at 10:15 PM
LOL! How did you mangage to keep a straight face?
Posted by: Jennifer | May 05, 2011 at 10:39 PM
Too stinkin cute. Not to mention this post didn't make me cry...
Thank you for being relatable, for being real and for allowing me to know your family...in the virtual world.
I rarely read blogs anymore, in fact yours is one of two that I keep up with. You make me smile.
Posted by: Heather Jirka | May 05, 2011 at 10:45 PM
ummm - straight face? How did you manage? Will the wonders never cease? WELCOME HOME!!
Posted by: addy | May 06, 2011 at 12:09 AM
This made me smile!
My sister was a climber. Once she managed to get to the top of my grandmother's fridge. To this day we don't know how. It was up against a wall by itself - no counters, shelves, etc. nearby. No chairs or stools by it either.
Posted by: Elizabeth | May 06, 2011 at 07:42 AM
Is it bad that I think climbing to the top of the stall sounds like a lot of fun?
Posted by: Lisa Albano | May 06, 2011 at 09:14 AM
this is just too funny!!! :D cute kid, and his alibi was just hilarious! thanks for sharing!
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Posted by: grace @ahead | May 06, 2011 at 10:53 AM
Oh man! That would be one of those times I'd scold, then quickly leave the room so I could giggle in private. My 5 y/o son is a climber, and I shudder to think what he is going to be like in a few years! Great story, Carmen :)
Posted by: Laura H | May 06, 2011 at 11:29 AM
I love how you leave the child's name out and yet I'd still bet money on the identity of this child! Too funny. I have to say, though, if this child has only gotten a 4 twice this school year, she/he is doing pretty well.
I've got to admire the agility as well...I can't imagine climbing up onto a bathroom stall and comfortably sitting on it. Though I now really want to try it.
Posted by: Megan | May 06, 2011 at 12:25 PM
It's really not that bad ('cause I'm assuming that none of the bathroom stalls actually broke under their weight, or anything like that)
I'm just surprised none of my climbers have thought of it yet!
Posted by: Michelle | May 08, 2011 at 04:35 PM
awesome!! i can definitely remember WANTING to do that... but i dont think i ever did. too cute.
Posted by: HolyMama! | May 10, 2011 at 06:14 PM
If climbing on the bathroom stalls is the worse thing that your child does then hey, I want to take tips from you. I am battling a child who thinks she (I can say she because I have 5 girls - only people that know my family will guess who doesn't listen) can make decisions even when I tell her how it is going to be. We are only at the halfway point in raising her. I fear for the next 10 years. My spirit quakes just sitting her thinking about it.
Posted by: Ouida Gabriel | May 13, 2011 at 06:04 AM
I can truly say in all my many years of teaching, no one ever sat on top of the stalls. Now, standing on the toilet's a different matter ... guess I'm lucky no one ever fell in!
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