Mom to the Screaming Masses: For Your Weekly Reading Pleasure

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WANTED, Carmen, mom to the Masses, for dangerous undertakings inside and outside the home. Last seen with her partner The Hubster, and six accomplices (Nikolas 19, Allegra 17, Mackenzie 14, Gabriel 12, Emma 9 and Riley 8). This fugitive is considered armed (with epi pens and inhalers) and dangerous, especially when she hasn't had her morning coffee. She is particularly difficult to recognize due to an 80 pound weight loss (size 18-20 down to 6-8!), and has been known to hide beneath large piles of laundry. She's a fan of running races, has her Black Belt in Muay Thai and can be found reading, training Crossfit, boxing or running to the store for milk and bread. And coffee. Always the Coffee.