I can hardly believe it, but...
I'M GOING TO BLOGHER.
Seriously. Like, as in, for realz, yo.
Nope. I didn't win the Knorr cook off - much to my everlasting frustration. I had two recipes to pick from and I am *thinking* I should have picked the other one. I really wanted to win - I don't think I could adequately explain exactly HOW much I wanted to win that dumb contest. When the winners were announced, I died a little bit inside.
I wanted *so badly* to be able to get there all by my own self this year. No sponsor. No help from my generous readers. No taking the money from the household bill money. Just pay for the trip from money that I earned with my own two fingers. I did buy my own conference ticket. So there's that, I guess. The rest, though - as much as I tried, sending letter after letter to places and people that I write for and entering any giveaway that I could find - it just didn't pan out.I saved as much money as I could, but inevitably, something would come up and whoosh! there went THAT money. I'm trying to earn money, to be a contributor to the household, and to be someone that pays their own way and as hard as I try, sometimes - it's just not panning out. I am EXTREMELY frustrated with myself.
Attending Blogher is important to me for a number of reasons. I can see my friends, which is all kinds of awesome, but more importantly, it's networking and exposure for me. It's meeting PR people that I work with during the year. It's being introduced to new companies to represent, making connections that lead to future jobs. It's gaining new readers - although I dearly love the readers that I have (yes, all of you, even the grumps) - I'd be a liar if I said I don't to have that exposure. And I don't know of any other blogger who wouldn't want that.
While I was in Texas, I had a long conversation with my husband. We talked about why attending Blogher is so important to me both personally and professionally, and he apologized that I wasn't going. I hated that. The man works incredibly hard - long, long, LONG hours to support us, and the economy hasn't improved enough and the entire situation is disheartening to him. And to me by default.
My husband got a bonus and he bought my airfare.
Seriously. I'm going.
I feel guilty because I am spending what is basically all of our extra money - the first money that we've had for a long time - on me. Even though he told me to do it. Even though it's good for me professionally and is going to be all kinds of awesome for me personally.
He's a great guy and I don't deserve him.
But I'm going to Blogher.
(and I hearby promise not to write 100 million posts about the conference, because I'm sure that it's annoying to you guys.)
as I'm sure you'be been told--raising six children to be kind, compassionate, contributiong members of their families and society is worth more than any moentary contribution. hold that head up girl, and smile. enjoy your trip!
Posted by: Lisa | July 23, 2011 at 12:16 PM
ok-sorry for spelling errors--typing in the dark and wothout reading glasses :)
Posted by: Lisa | July 23, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Very cool, Carmen. I'm in the same boat about wanting to contribute and be a viable part of our household income and pay my own way so I know vividly of what you speak.
Congratulations! You have a wonderful husband!
Posted by: bama Cheryl | July 23, 2011 at 12:27 PM
You have a great husband who gets it! Enjoy the trip and I love hearing about the conference. It's something I secretly wish going to even though I don't blog myself, it looks like a lot of fun!
Posted by: maggie | July 23, 2011 at 12:33 PM
Your hubby must be as smart as mine. He always thanks me for raising our kids (but when they screw up, I do blame his gene!). He also no one's happy, unless mom is happy! Have fun!
Posted by: Beth | July 23, 2011 at 12:45 PM
I'm so glad you get to go. Have fun!
Posted by: LisaK | July 23, 2011 at 01:19 PM
I'm not going this year for those very same reasons, but I will live vicariously through what are sure to be many excellent posts from you! Enjoy -- so glad you get to be there!
Posted by: Rox | July 23, 2011 at 01:55 PM
I've already squee'd about this so I'll just say that your husband rocks! And you can tell him I said so.
Posted by: Headless Mom | July 23, 2011 at 02:38 PM
The money was a God-send. Don't question it. Don't feel guilty about. Have a great time!
Posted by: Tara | July 23, 2011 at 03:28 PM
So happy for you, Carmen. It shows such a great understanding of who you are and your needs by your husband...kudos to him. Have a wonderful time! Southern California this time of year is really lovely!
Posted by: Ann W | July 23, 2011 at 04:20 PM
I don't know how to say this without sounding like a jerk so please understand my intentions. Perhaps no matter how hard you worked to do it for yourself, you really needed this to be given to you by your husband. Does that make any sense? Like, my husband and I have been busting our butts to pay for our adoption but this week we got a check, completely unexpectedly, from someone at our church. Maybe no matter how hard we work to provide for ourselves, sometimes we just need to accept it from someone else.
Regardless, I'm thrilled for you and hope you have a fantastic time.
Posted by: Kait | July 23, 2011 at 08:59 PM
Yay! I'm glad you're going. Hopefully we can meet up at some point.
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 23, 2011 at 09:30 PM
*****AWESOME*****
Congrats Carmen-
you totally deserve it & we love hearing about your trips! I can't go so I really enjoy hearing about your experiences.
Get packing!
:D
Posted by: KG | July 23, 2011 at 10:47 PM
It's not annoying to us; write about what you want. If I get tired reading conference posts, I just wait a few days and come back when the hysteria dies down. Have fun!
Posted by: elz | July 24, 2011 at 06:06 PM
Yay! You get to go! Sounds like your hubs realized how much you needed the trip and how much he wanted to do something nice for you.
Posted by: Brandy | July 25, 2011 at 01:16 AM
I'm so pleased you can go, and I always love reading your posts about it.
Try not to feel guilty. You'll make ends meet: you always do, somehow. I'm so glad your husband could do this for you; I imagine it's given him a lot of pleasure to be able to.
Posted by: UKCraftySal | July 25, 2011 at 05:37 AM
I think the reason this feels guilt full for you is because Blogger is fun for you, but remember it's also work. This is where you network and find new business opportunities. Blogger is no different than any other conference than any other professional person goes to for their job every year. The only difference is you are self employed and having to pay for this yourself. Is there any way you can right this off on your taxes?
You have a wonderful husband who knows you deserves this. Stop feeling guilty and go have some fun. Oh and it's your blog, so blog away about your conference. ;-)
Where did you go in Texas? I'm in the Houston area. From the looks of the beach, it looks like you were in the Corpus Christi area.
Posted by: Sandra | July 25, 2011 at 06:57 AM
For some of us, it is much easier to give than to receive. "Receiving" conjures up a mindset of "being beholdin' to someone else" which we find very difficult. The best thanks you could give your husband is to go, have a great time, and come back with a renewed mind and spirit.
Posted by: Pat | July 25, 2011 at 10:25 AM
I am so, so excited for you!! I know how hard it is for some of us to spend money on ourselves, but really, by your taking a trip that you love, you are taking care of yourself and that "trickles down" to the rest of your family. Your hubby just rocks!! How thoughtful of him :) And please, blog about BlogHer. It sounds like so much fun!
Posted by: Laura H | July 25, 2011 at 12:19 PM
"Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find". Sometimes God works in ways that we don't understand and we have to be gracious and accept the help, without guilt, but with humility.
Have fun! Where is it this year?
Posted by: Jennifer | July 26, 2011 at 12:04 PM
Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay! That is all. :)
Posted by: Issa | July 26, 2011 at 02:52 PM