In the Dark of the Night, The BoogeyMan Will Get You

It's not a big secret that I have a tough time sleeping. I don't struggle falling asleep, but the actual staying asleep eludes me daily. It's not uncommon for me to be awake 4 or more times a night, and each time I might stay awake 5 minutes or an hour. There's no rhyme or reason.

This week was an especially brutal one for me, sleep wise. Often, my husband comes home when I've gone to sleep early and, as he's a good guy and loves to stay up very late - he stays downstairs.

I'm fairly grumpy when I'm woken - and he has a heavy snoring habit.

We have this new bed - maybe I've talked about it a time or eleven (and have you ENTERED TO WIN one of your very own??) - and it has a vibrating function. Each side of the bed has it's own remote and that controls both vibration and elevation. I'm an enormous fan of the elevation feature, a bit less rabid about the vibration. The vibration is intense.

If you are downstairs, and the bed (which is upstairs) is vibrating, the noise coming through the ceiling is unreal.

I was in a drop dead sound sleep Thursday morning, when, at 4:42 a.m., I was rudely shaken awake - and when I say sound asleep, it was that drooling, deep dead sleep that is both rare and precious. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that it wasn't an earthquake, we weren't under attack - the BED was vibrating. Because I don't use that function on my side, I had no idea where the remote was - and I'm totally blind as a bat without my contacts.

I jumped up out of bed, noticing that one of my precious, special angels was fast asleep on her dad's side and my husband was nowhere to be found. Where was the remote? I flipped on my light and tore off the covers - no. Shoved my hands frantically under the pillow - no. Was it on the ground? I dropped to my knees and reached under the bed - no. Ran my hands over the carpet blindly seeking it - no.

I heard the bedroom door open and my husband appeared. At least I thought it was him - I was blind.

What is going on in here? I heard the bed downstairs - why did you turn it on now? Weren't you sleeping?

"I didn't do it!" I snapped. "And I can't find the remote! Help me!" He pulled the covers off and threw them on the floor - no remote. "Can't we just unplug the stupid thing?" I shrieked. (Truly, this was not my brightest moment. I was tired, yo.)

No, we can't unplug it. It's too difficult to get under there. Keep looking!

The little angel slept on, impervious to our scrambling. Pillows flew, covers were ransacked - and, still, the bed vibrated on.Think! Where could it be?

"I have no idea! I wasn't using it - maybe I rolled over on it? I've done that before, but - wait..."

And, with that, we both looked at our little angel, who had one very large remote wedged under her, she'd apparently rolled on it in her sleep.

I fell back to sleep at 5:57. My alarm went off at 6:01.

Comments

[liz]

That. Is. HILARIOUS. And completely frustrating.

[Jessica]

Oh dear gawd. I can't help but laugh!

[addy]

GAH - noooooooooo!!

[Nicki]

Oh my. Funny for us, but not so much for you. :)

[Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith]

Rick and I are sitting on our sofa, laughing hard. We could hardly read past the part that said, " I was tired, yo."

[Headless Mom]

Bwahahahahahaha!

[Brandy]

I think you need to hide those remotes!

[Sandra]

you and i have the same exact sleep problem. i have NO problem falling asleep, but i'm awake no less than 2 times at night and some nights as many as 4 or 5, and a lot of times i can't go back to sleep, so i'm up watching tv or on the internet. ugg! i'm an absolute b**** if i'm woken from a dead sleep, just ask my 9 year old logan. haha

[Megan]

This is hilarious!

[kyooty]

Angel! :)love it.

[Cheap Supra Footwear]

also, i adore your yarn, but i think you should give it to someone else that will help it find its way into a lovely handknit. i'd be so sad to see it languish here :( so, i'm respectfully withdrawing my name from the running.

[Domestic Extraordinaire]

LOL-love this!