Sometimes, I Think Too Much

Deep and contemplative thoughts for a Monday:

Do you ever go around doing good, as much good as one person possibly can do, and yet feel, deep inside your soul, that will never be enough? That is, that you could never do enough good in some peoples eyes. Do you ever feel as if it's futile to do good?

I wonder things like that sometimes, and I'm convinced that it makes me a little bit "off". That other, more normal people, don't have the same kind of thoughts.

I suppose I'm just a bit more reflective than normal, due to the funeral I attended today. There's nothing quite like seeing someone's entire life in almost bullet points to make you wonder how your own life will be presented.

And it makes one wonder, will I be remembered for good things, or for those really stupid things that I've done in my past? Everyone does some really stupid things, that aren't "big stupid" things, but the stupid things that almost everyone does. I think they're called "growth experiences". I'm not talking about things like murder, but just those dumb things that we've all done.

And if you tell me you've never done them, I'll point and call you a liar.

And do you ever wonder how those really really good people came to be that way? I've often heard that those really good people have something to atone for in their past. But I wonder if that could be the case.

So I guess it boils down to these simple questions: are people in inherently good or bad? Can bad people become good people? And if you've done bad things, will other people ever let you forget them?

Told you it was deep and contemplative.:)

Comments

[lisa]

I hope that people can't remember the stupid things I've done, as I can't remember most of theirs!
As for good, I think the opportunity to do good presents itself in such small ways that they are easy to ignore. I'm not called to missionary work, I'm called to give my husband/child the first bite of my lunch even when I'm really HUNGRY. (for example) Does that makes sense?

[Brandy]

I've tried not to do too many stupid things, but have actually tried to share them with my kids so they'll learn from my mistakes. I think like you. I try to give a smile to everyone I meet because I hope it's passed along. But, I do sometimes worry how I'll be remembered. Does that make sense without sounding vain?

[Karen]

Oh I've done stupid things. REALLY stupid things. For the most part though it makes me thankful for the times I've done the right thing.

I don't think all people are good or bad. Everyone lives somewhere on the scale. I do think people carry inherent self preservation traits that sometimes cause them to slide on that scale in varying directions. Good and bad to me are choices. Some people will always choose bad, but the potential for the good choice is always there. At least I hope so.

[Rox]

Call me old-fashioned, but I hope to rise above good/bad by the time I'm departing this Earth. I want to have lived in a moral way, having given more than I've taken, and having treated others like I want to be treated -- and keeping my faith until the very end. I'm not in a good place right now in my view of the world but distract myself from wanting to hide under my covers all day by focusing on all that's right in the world, for there is so much bad stuff ... but most of it is little bad stuff, not big, bad, amoral, going-straight-to-hell stuff. And the good stuff I see is the living-right stuff: holding the door for people, saying please and thank you, knowing when to bite my tongue, choosing the high road when it's so tempting not to, always being honest, taking the high road, etc. ... doesn't mean I don't make some bad calls, but the intent to do the right thing is there, and I think that's enough for a life well-lived in the end. (I hope.)

[addy]

Stupid things - yep I get the prize for those! Best or worse which ever is appropriate. Soemtimes it does feel like there isn't enough good a person can do - just isn't. Ya done with the funerals yet? Man there have been a bunch for you.

[Shelly]

I have done some dumb things in my time and I have been deep in thought as well. I find February a month of deep thinking....depressing winter...even for SoCal, but also a gateway into spring...a new beginnings.

[Soni]

Oh I SO hear you! In fact, just this weekend I was in tears because I felt like all I do is DO for others and only rarely do people DO for me. I don't want much, just recognition for the nice things I do on a daily basis without comment, especially for my family, and an occasional unexpected gesture from hubby or the kids. In the larger sense, I believe in paying it forward. I try to do little things all day long, when the opportunities present themselves, and firmly believe that it comes back to me somehow. As for my past, it's the past, and I too hope that all of the stupid things I've done, and there are many, will pale in comparison to the good I have put out into the world when my life comes to an end. I cannot imagine going to as many funerals as you have recently without contemplating such things - it would be worse if you didn't!!! From everything I have read, you are a good person and will be remembered as such.

[kyooty]

I really haven't done much "Bad" in my life. I do though know I'm lazy!

[Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith]

"Can really bad people become good people?"
Absolutely... I know very well... the big worry is people who think they are good and judge others...think about the oldest son in the Prodigal Son...angry, jealous, self-righteous.

[Jess]

I'll answer your last question from experience: no one will EVER let you forget. I'm so thankful God is God and that no human has control of my hereafter.

Wonderful post. This is my first time here so I'll explore a little. :)