Mom to the Screaming Masses

Spending a Friday at the Golf Range

Means you see things like this:

Gabe and his Dad, exchanging wisdom

The hole where he shot PAR. It was every bit as awesome as you think it might be.

An Eagle flew overhead on either the 16th or 42nd hole. I forget which. Or maybe it was the 3rd. It felt like the 85th.

The End.

An A to Z Primer on Randomosity

Subtitled: I had nothing to write about and couldn't find a good meme (always the last resort of bloggers everywhere!) so I made up my own. Please to be very impressed. Or not. Feel free to copy if you need a boost in writing inspiration - although I dunno if I'd say this is inspired. It's a list, from A to Z, of things I like, don't like, products I'd recommend - or merely what that letter brings to my mind.

Please to enjoy. Except for the two I left blank because I couldn't think of ANYTHING. Maybe I'll be able to fill them in later. Do you have something you think I should have added to any of these letters instead?

A is for Aveda's Clove Shampoo and Conditioner.

B is for Bohemian Rhapsody. And the very best video of it EVER.

C is for Cowboy Foot Repair. I visited the Massage Bar in the Nashville airport - I love that airport, you can do so much shopping, get massages and even get your nails (and hair!) did. This product was something I picked up for my feet, and I absolutely adore it. I even use it on my elbows, and have used it on my tattoo as it's healing. I love the Lime Leaves scent. 

Frugal vs. Value vs. Cheap Part II

Continuation of musings from yesterday's post...

Things that I Thought Might Make the List but Upon Reflection Surprised Me That They Didn't

1. Education - Before you totally flip out on me, hear me out - I think absolutely that you need a quality education. I've been surprised, the more I delve in the whole public vs. private thing, though - that you don't always get the best in private, and the public isn't the dregs of society that many people think it is. There are GREAT public schools and not so great private - and where my kids are, right now, is absolutely the best for them. But. My one public school kid is getting a very similar education to the kid who went to private high school all the way through. I know that there are problems in every school, in every school system - but no location is perfect. Each one is comprised of people. People who, by their very nature, are fallible. It pays to do your research in this category. My son is going to community college and getting a great education AND good grades - for 1/10th the price of of one his friends - who has changed majors three times in two years and is currently failing.

Frugal vs. Value vs. Cheap Part I

Subtitled: what do you feel is worth the cash?

Fadra has a terrific post up today, in which she discusses the difference between being cheap and frugal and she lists her top 10 things to worth paying for. I agree with some of hers 100000%, a few not at all, and some in between - and thought it'd be cool to make my own list. I dunno if I'll have ten though. And I welcome your thoughts and your own lists. Tomorrow I'm going to do Part II - things I don't think are worth the money.

Some Things That *I* Think You Should Not Scrimp On When Trying to Balance the Budget

1. Your Hair - My husband and I argue this all the live long day. He gets a cheap Supercuts hair cut every three weeks. I spend a significantly higher amount on my hair. I pay to have it colored. He colors his own. I pay more for shampoo and sprays and such - and, well, you get the picture. I don't get good results when I cheap out on my hair. I've never been happy with a hair cut until my stylist I use now, and I love my color. So it's something I'm willing to spend on. And when I discovered the Aveda shampoo and conditioner that I can use to deposit color - thereby lengthening the time it takes my color to fade? Yes, please.
2. Your Food - I know that lots of people have money issues, and this isn't a have vs have not situation or discussion. I know full well how tough it is it feed a group of people with not very much money - but instead of grabbing the box of hamburger helper, make your own casserole using fresh and in season ingredients. I've really become convicted that we all eat too much, we eat too poorly, and we eat too unhealthy. We aren't doing our kids any favors sending them to school with pop tarts in their bellies and doritoes and coke for lunch. Spend your money wisely and learn to cook from scratch. Your health will improve and it will taste better. <jumping down from soapbox>
   
3. Shoes - I have Payless shoes. I have Target shoes. I wear them. Not often, and not for long periods of time, because they hurt my feet. The shoes I wear all the time? Clarks, Danskos, Born, and my runners for exercise. I look for sales and I even found a pair of Born's at a clothing swap. I have a pair of heels that I bought from Banana Republic (got a 60% for being a card holder) - and I can literally wear those heels all day. Those shoes I listed above? Have been going strong, in many cases, for years plural. Don't scrimp, especially, on your running shoes. It can mess up your gait, your hips, your back and knees. Go to your local running store, tell them you don't have much money and let them lead you to the best shoes.
   
4. Coffee - This almost, almost, went on the next list. I'm not a fan of spending big bucks for coffee - I don't visit Starbucks and the like routinely. Right now, I love Cafe Du Monde - and it's $10 at my grocery. I'd pay that if I needed to - and I have, when I've been desperate - but the Asian Market sells it for $5.50. It's worth it to me. It's about the value to me.
   
5. Your Skin Care - There's a lot to be said for using whatever skin care system works for you. Often, that can be the inexpensive stuff at the drugstore. Right now, and for the past three years, I've been a lover of Lush. I use the Coalface soap and the Tea Tree water - neither of which will break the bank. I don't think you need to spend a ton of money on soap (said the girl who would work for free at Lush just to try products all day long!) but it's certainly something that needs a bit of value.
   
6. Bras - Please, please - for the love of God - if you have boobs at all, support them. Hold them up where they belong. Spend the time to get properly fitted at your local specialty store, and buy somethng that fits and holds you beautifully. ESPECIALLY if you exercise - please spend the money on a quality sports bra - and as much as I love Target and Victoria's Secret - they do not sell good sports bras. I happen to feel the same about underpants, btw - but not everyone feels this way or even understands why what holds your butt cheeks in matters. It does to me. I think every woman deserves to have pretty unders. :) 
7. My iPhone - So frivolous, but I use that sucker about 87404336 times a day. I tried a droid but just wasn't happy with it. 
8. Soap - I'm not talking $12 bars of soap - but my husband insists on buying the cheapest dish detergent and hand soap that he can find - and then wonders why a) his hands peel all winter long and b) if takes 27 times more dish soap to clean the dishes. I don't buy the most expensive stuff, but I do buy nicer bars and liquid and I'm pretty loyal to my Dawn, Cascade and Tide. 
9. Drawing a blank
10. Drawing a blank again.

Business to attend:

I've got several posts up at CafeMom for the Hallmark Parenting Positive Kids series that I'd love to have you (and comment on!)

• Spring Break has Sprung!
  
• Style to Celebrate
• March Madness in the Kitchen

And I'll have a post up on Easter and Passover Wednesday morning - if you wanted to get a jumpstart. Set a timer to remind yourself to read it, or add it to your calendar. :)

Over at Scrutiny, my review site, I'm talking about the best.running.skirt.EVER, a wonderful dress from a fantastic company, a super idea for a gift basket for Easter, four more days to enter to win $100, and a beta service that looks super promising for busy moms.

Stream of Consciousness - March 25, 2012

 

This is truly going to be a SOC, for there are a LOT of things swirling through my head - but one of them pertains completely and totally to Fadra's prompt for today - Things Better Left Unsaid On Ye Old Blawg.

SOC #1 - When you have babies, say, 6 babies in 11 years, people spend an awful lot of time telling you, "Wait until you have teenagers. Having babies is tough - but man, those teenagers - they will give you a run for your money." There's a ton of truth to that, and much of it is, unfortunately, unbloggable.

So, raising teenagers is a topic that is one of the Things Better Left Unsaid On Ye Old Blawg. Except maybe when you call your mother a very ugly name. Then, maybe, the silk gloves come off. But, really - these things are unbloggable because they make you, the reader, uncomfortable. They are unbloggable because the story is not just my own story, but it's a story of two people - one of whom would be colored with an unfair crayon. They are unbloggable because they are bad memories, gray and black and red memories that I don't want to reflect on, don't want to poke with a stick and most emphatically don't need replayed here, for they are replayed internally often enough.

SOC #2 - I was a Eucharistic Minister today for the first time. I was super duper nervous, and at one point dropped 1/4 of the cloth into the chalice - but I made it through. I was welcomed, as I have been in every aspect of church life, and pronounced a blessing to have around.

After the rest of today, that's a nice concept to ponder in my heart.

SOC #3 - There are a lot of times that I write letters, especially if I see a policy that isn't enforced appropriately, a situation that I feel is unfair, or an injustice has been witnessed. Some of those letters are rebutted by people either more intelligent or more dilligent than I will ever be. Occasionally, though - one of those letters results in, Yes, you are correct, our policy is wrong and we need to fix it - and it pertains to a kid. And when something like that happens - well, I feel warm and fuzzy and like I've used my powers for good.

SOC #4 - Have you seen the Hunger Games movie yet? What did you think? If not, do you want to see it?

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post below.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Now…

1. Grab the button

(it’s over on Fadra's sidebar)

2. Write your post.

3. Link up over there.

Playing Nice in the Sandbox Never Goes Away

When I was a kid, and even as a young adult, I thought that all grown ups liked each other. Observe a group of adults from the outside, and you'll see that, as a whole, everyone smiles at each other, nods along and treats each other politely. (Presidental debates nonwithstanding.) It's not until you spend some time in that conversation that you hear the sarcasm, the digs, the implied ferosity and the bitterness, you read the body language - and you realize that no one ever leaves the sandbox.

I feel like more than half of my life is spent making sure people do what they are supposed to do - and not all of these people call me Mom. It's like I've signed on to be a police officer, only without the shiny weapons belt and I don't get a pension. I'm tired of looking over people's shoulders - did he get the help he's supposed to get? Is this rule being followed the way it's supposed to be followed? I've all but given up on it - for, after all, I'm NOT a police officer - and yet, when people neglect to do the work that they are supposed to do and it directly affects me - I have to call them on it. I'm tired of doing it, but why have we become a society of slack asses, a society where everyone does the bare minimum and skates to get by?

Doing this, though, in no way endears you to those people. I've yet to meet someone who says, "Why, thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do - I so appreciate you! Can I buy you a coffee?"

It's a fine line - no one wants to be a nag, and certainly no one enjoys a nag. How do you know when the matter is someone not doing their job and perhaps they should be reminded of it - and how much of it is I need to mind my own business and let that person screw up what they are trying to do - it doesn't affect me so I need to just back the hell off and MMOB. (mind my own business - I'm thinking that the four letters should be my next tattoo.)

"Well behaved women never make history."  A friend told me this recently, in an attempt to encourage me as I fight a battle that isn't mine, but it's mine to fight until the person affected is strong enough to fight it for themselves. This quote makes me crazy, for it implies that one WANTS to make history - wants to be known as the memorable one. But what if you've made history for something that was not good? Lizzie Borden is certainly well known, as is Sydney Barrows - neither of whom are well known for reasons for which*I* would like to be known.

BTW, I read Sydney Barrows story as a teen, and although I don't recommend that particular story to teens - I think her tale is both engrossing and illuminating.

Would you rather be a well known woman (or man, I'm not going to steroetype) - even if it's for an unfavorable reason - or one of the myriads of people who die virtually unknown?

And do you ever get tired of playing nice in the sandbox? Do you sit at a party and fight the desire to stand up, toss some sand in the face of the obnoxious lady at the end of the table, and let everyone know exactly and precisely why she makes you so, so angry?

And when someone actually does this, calling someone on their shenanigans - do you admire that person, or feel sorry for the one lambasted?

I actually think it's amazing that most of us like as many people as we do.

And, right now, I'm pretty sure you don't want to live in my head as I ponder these diverse, and somewhat unbalanced, thoughts.

Right?

 

 

Who's Got Time for a New Activity?

And it's the last of my "Reader Asks a question" series - Remember, if you've got a question, you can email it to me, or leave it in the comments - and the beautimous Megan asks:

I've got two activities, figure skating and swimming. I started swimming essentially because at the time I wanted to lose weight and improve fitness, and I couldn't afford to skate enough. Almost three years later, I've gotten a lot better at swimming, but I've started to hate it. Around 3:00 on my swim days, I start dreading it, knowing I have to get in the pool in a couple of hours. Lately, I've just given up and not even gone to the gym about half the time when I intended to.

We Take it on Faith

When we left for school today, the entire city was shrouded in thick fog. My daughter exclaimed, "I can't even see the Westin!" The Westin happens to be the tallest building in our immediate vicinity. "It's like it's not even there!" she shouted.

It's there. It didn't disappear. We take it on faith.

My cousin's daughter had a baby last night. She has some medical problems, but we all know that she will be fine.

We take it on faith.

Stream of Consciousness - March 18, 2012

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: How do you feel about where you live?

 Before we moved into the house in which we live now, we lived in two houses in a year. We moved from the first house that we bought because the neighborhood was starting to become not so good, and also because we wanted a little bit bigger house. We definitely found a bigger house for the second one. Only problem - it wasn't OUR house.

The people who had owned it before us were an older couple, who had lived in the (gorgeous) house for a number of years. They'd customized EVERYTHING, right down to super expensive custom curtains and area rugs that coordinated with the wall paper, one entire bedroom that was transformed into a walk in closet, and massive amounts of small upgrades that together made the house truly custom. They'd paid the area upscale nursery to come out and completely floor plan the yard, with tons of fancy bushes and plants. There was a three level deck, a small workshop and lots more. Top of the line appliances,Pergo floors throughout, instant hot water tank in the kitchen for tea/coffee, etc. The woman of the house took great pride in matching wallpaper and curtains and flooring, and we bought a good deal of the curtains/rugs/blinds/and a couch from them because they were moving to a smaller place - he'd gotten ill - and none of it would fit. Not only that, the stuff was made for this house and it wouldn't "do" anywhere else.

I didn't like it nearly as much as my husband did. It felt as if I was living in someone else's house. There's not other way to explain it - the house just wasn't us. The kids couldn't run in the yard because it would mess up the plants, and I was afraid to do anything in the house.

We moved in in Feb, I had Emma in July, and we sold it in September. We moved to a different house, not quite so fancy, October 31, 2002. And I love it. It's just a house. And it feels like us.

There's not so much with the custom in my house, but we've painted rooms the way we like, I have wall art up, and this house feels comfortable. We have great neighbors, our neighborhood is kid friendly and sort of secluded, and close to all of the stuff we need.

Eventually, I'd like to put a hot tub in here, but there's really not much I'd do to change my house. Well, no, I take that back - I'd LOVE to pull the tub out of our bathroom (we never ever use it) and put in an enormous shower. Other than that - it's good for us.

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post below.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Now…

1. Grab the button

(it’s over on Fadra's sidebar)

2. Write your post.

3. Link up over there.

If It's Meant to Be, It Will Work Out in the End

I had planned to get a tattoo on my wrist for about a year now. I wasn't completely certain what I wanted, just knew that the location was set.

Pinterest is a really good place to find lots of creative ideas, and tattoo ideas flow hard and fast over there. I'm never going to get a huge piece, nothing on my chest or my back or down my arms - but I did find a couple of small sayings that I liked.

One of them was in Hebrew, and it said: Dodi Li va'ani lo. The translation was loosely I am my beloveds and he is mine. I wasn't sure if that was correct - who wants to rely on Google for something like this? We've all heard horror stories of people getting tattoos that they THINK say something like COURAGE or STRENGTH  or FAT DADDY when they really mean CHICKEN FEET or TACO BREATH.