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Comments

Becki

Here is what I have observed: when someone habitually behaves badly, any one episode of bad behavior is generally shrugged off by others ("That's just how she is.") When someone who is typically nice, polite, and rule-abiding gets fed up and spouts off, people are upset and disapproving--even if the spouting-off is entirely justified. It seems that the violation of others' expectations is a bigger sin than just failure to "play nice." To paraphrase: it's apparently better to be a bitch consistently than intermittently.

Meredith R

I'd rather not go down in history. Being famous these days looks to be soul sucking and everybody tries to figure out how to cash in on you.
As for playing in the sand box, well, there's being civilized as a group and then there's being the only civilized person in a 20 mile radius. There are some people out there that haven't ever been held responsible for their actions and it's infuriating.

JMB

I've never been a big fan of "political" agitation tactics. I'm not the sort to protest for the sake of protesting and I'm somewhat ambivalent to the need to be noticed. However, I do think that there are healthy ways to be assertive and stand up for oneself without purposely bringing others down. Jesus threw a fit in the Temple, but he did so on behalf of his Father. Therefore his anger was righteous and justified. I think that's the key to anger - it needs to be righteous anger. I don't think it's ever appropriate to go through life blowing up at people and feeling the need to take another down. You don't build good will that way. Yes, stand up for yourself and your children and those not able to do so themselves, but it doesn't need to be done in a way that permanently alienates others.

WebSavvyMom

-->I have someone in my life in a position of authority over me and this person routinely insults me and others. About every third or fourth attempt, I fight back and back her into her corner. It's a terrible cycle to be in day after day.

Karen

Here here, (picture me clapping and giving u a standing ovation.) that same thought has kept me up all night as I contemplate a school system that says all the right things but behind my back does none of them. Being a non confrontational person from birth I have learned to be more of a fighter now, but also have learned I need to play the system........however I really wish that sometimes I could send all the letters and emails I write, such as this one I recently wrote. I can dream cant I.


Recently we had my sons 504 meeting in which we got nothing we requested and what we did get is at the discretion of the school district and teachers, which of course still means he got nothing. However, what really angered me is the email the head of special education sent me the next day in which she ended it with "Thank you for the great meeting yesterday." Unfortunately, I cannot respond to her email because we have asked for independent testing for our son and they have denied it. Therefor the district must engage in a legal battle starting from their side. She does not want to do this and doesn't realize we know our rights, thus she is trying to get us to rescind our request. Although, this has not stopped me from thinking of what my response would be if I could......

Dear Ms. Head of special Ed.

I am glad that the meeting was great for you as it saved the district money, which I know is your intent, too bad it was not also great for my son whose education and life will be impacted from your "great meeting".

However, the meeting did make me think of something father told me recently as I sat at his bedside two days before his death. I could tell something was bothering him and so I asked. He stated that he had been trying to figure out how to ask God for forgiveness for all of his sins. I know in large part he was thinking of WW II and his part in it as a seventeen year old boy fighting in Europe. Although, it saddened me that this was still affecting him, it also made me realize what type of person he was. That even though he was doing his duty to his country, he could still be impacted by what he had to do to achieve that. It made me look at my own life and especially this fight for Keaton, I was thankful that I believe when I stand before God and ask him to forgive me of my sins, they too will be for a good reason, not for a whole country as my fathers was, but for one person, my son, I will have made a difference. Then it got me thinking of you, when you stand before God will he forgive you of your sins, or will he say you put money above the needs of people, therefor you did not help humankind, but instead helped Satan in the downfall of it.

Sincerely

Mom to Keaton

Nelson's Mama

I recently didn't mind my own business (which was nothing new) regarding a situation at the high school and the pick-up line. My husband was mortified, but in the end, things worked out the for best. If we all wait for someone else to make the first move, nothing good will ever happen.

BTW, I read Sydney Biddles Battles story too and picked that name for my daughter LONG before it was ever a popular or trendy name.

LizP

People usually know how they behave. They get some sort of payoff by acting in that manner. I try to either not associate with that person or not give them the payoff they are seeking.

beth

I am SO a shenanigans-caller!! Partially it's my nature, and partially it's been nurtured by living in a world of 8 year olds, where it technically IS my job to be the enforcer.

Amanda E.

I am not a call-you-out sort of person. I will usually/always do the right thing, and expect others to do the same, but if they don't, I will either gently remind or reprove with a LOT of grace. SO much grace, patience, and love has gone into teaching me (from so many others) that I can't bring myself to be a ball-buster. Consequently, I do find that it's easy to love people. I don't know if the two are related or not.

Sandy

I have no problem calling someone out if their behavior effects me. I do not believe in minding other peoples business however and let others fight their own battles.

JP

I do a lot of internal seething, I won't lie. I am a fairly bottom line kind gal and tell it like it is and appreciate others who do the same. I rarely call people out on stuff, but when I do it seems to shock people.

Nicole

Remember that making history doesn't necessarily mean making it into the history books. By standing up and fighting for those who can't fight for themselves, you make history for *that person,* and that's not necessarily a bad thing, and doesn't necessarily mean you have to take on every battle that comes along.

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  • Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as the Programs Manager for BlogHer, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a minor in BS studies.