When I was a kid, and even as a young adult, I thought that all grown ups liked each other. Observe a group of adults from the outside, and you'll see that, as a whole, everyone smiles at each other, nods along and treats each other politely. (Presidental debates nonwithstanding.) It's not until you spend some time in that conversation that you hear the sarcasm, the digs, the implied ferosity and the bitterness, you read the body language - and you realize that no one ever leaves the sandbox.
I feel like more than half of my life is spent making sure people do what they are supposed to do - and not all of these people call me Mom. It's like I've signed on to be a police officer, only without the shiny weapons belt and I don't get a pension. I'm tired of looking over people's shoulders - did he get the help he's supposed to get? Is this rule being followed the way it's supposed to be followed? I've all but given up on it - for, after all, I'm NOT a police officer - and yet, when people neglect to do the work that they are supposed to do and it directly affects me - I have to call them on it. I'm tired of doing it, but why have we become a society of slack asses, a society where everyone does the bare minimum and skates to get by?
Doing this, though, in no way endears you to those people. I've yet to meet someone who says, "Why, thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do - I so appreciate you! Can I buy you a coffee?"
It's a fine line - no one wants to be a nag, and certainly no one enjoys a nag. How do you know when the matter is someone not doing their job and perhaps they should be reminded of it - and how much of it is I need to mind my own business and let that person screw up what they are trying to do - it doesn't affect me so I need to just back the hell off and MMOB. (mind my own business - I'm thinking that the four letters should be my next tattoo.)
"Well behaved women never make history." A friend told me this recently, in an attempt to encourage me as I fight a battle that isn't mine, but it's mine to fight until the person affected is strong enough to fight it for themselves. This quote makes me crazy, for it implies that one WANTS to make history - wants to be known as the memorable one. But what if you've made history for something that was not good? Lizzie Borden is certainly well known, as is Sydney Barrows - neither of whom are well known for reasons for which*I* would like to be known.
BTW, I read Sydney Barrows story as a teen, and although I don't recommend that particular story to teens - I think her tale is both engrossing and illuminating.
Would you rather be a well known woman (or man, I'm not going to steroetype) - even if it's for an unfavorable reason - or one of the myriads of people who die virtually unknown?
And do you ever get tired of playing nice in the sandbox? Do you sit at a party and fight the desire to stand up, toss some sand in the face of the obnoxious lady at the end of the table, and let everyone know exactly and precisely why she makes you so, so angry?
And when someone actually does this, calling someone on their shenanigans - do you admire that person, or feel sorry for the one lambasted?
I actually think it's amazing that most of us like as many people as we do.
And, right now, I'm pretty sure you don't want to live in my head as I ponder these diverse, and somewhat unbalanced, thoughts.